by Lauren Dane
“My goodness, I already let you see my boobies. You’re being awfully nice.”
“I’m a nice guy.”
“You’re pretty nice. And you eat pussy like a champion.”
He paused, swinging her to face him. “It’s a beautiful pussy.” He kissed her quickly and released, pulling her back to his side as they kept walking.
“There’s a little Thai place just ahead. I like it. The food is decent.”
“Some tea would be good.”
The place was packed, but after a five-minute wait they got a table and settled in.
He pulled her chair out and to his surprise, she allowed it. But when he sat, she put the napkin on his lap.
They ordered. She waited for him to lead, which . . . affected him and he wasn’t entirely sure why.
But she was sure to order tea for them both and when it arrived she poured it out. “Do you take sugar?”
He took her hand instead, kissing her palm. “I like it that you’re taking care of me. That you know I’m capable of it but you do it anyway.”
She smiled. “Oh. Well. Thank you.”
Shy fit her well. He loved her boldness, yes, but this side to her was alluring as well.
He let go. Reluctantly. Sipping his tea, he took her in.
“What?”
“Do I make you nervous, Raven?”
“You know you do when you do that look thing you’re doing now.” She sipped her tea. “And. You like it.”
He laughed. “I guess I do. Are you having a good day?”
“Much better now that a handsome man swept into work and took me to lunch. How about you?”
“I had a hearing this morning. Went to a charity board meeting up here, that’s why I was in the neighborhood.”
“Which charity?”
“It’s one of my mother’s favorites. Created Families. A program that gives support to foster parents. It’s a tough thing. Half a million kids are in the foster care system. They don’t get the support they need and we’ve essentially just been writing off generations of kids. And the families who are in the program struggle. They have good intentions but often get lost in the system.”
She stiffened and he put his cup down, concerned.
“Everything all right?”
She took a deep breath. “Yes. Fine.”
“Liar. Is it the foster care stuff?”
“I am not opposed to foster care.” She said it so carefully, so very stiff.
“You sure you didn’t go to law school? That answer was pretty classic. These kids need help. There aren’t enough homes for them. No one should have to spend their childhood bouncing from place to place.”
“No, they shouldn’t.”
Then he got it. “You were in foster care?”
She looked down at her plate for long moments and he was sorry he’d followed up because while he wanted to know her, he didn’t want to cause her heartache.
“I was, yes.”
The food arrived and she busied herself dishing things up, asking him what he wanted and how much. It seemed to smooth them both a little.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She waved it away. “I was in and out of foster care from four to seventeen. So I know firsthand that kids shouldn’t bounce around from place to place. It’s nice that you’re trying to help.”
He wanted to say more but the look on her face told him she was done talking about the subject.
“So how about you come over Friday night? For the first tattoo installment. I promise you dinner and well-made martinis.”
She pulled her phone out and checked her calendar. In some women he’d have suspected it was an affectation made to appear busy, but he saw plenty of things written down. And then got annoyed that she didn’t say yes right away.
Which then annoyed him that he’d expect something like that.
“Friday works. I can come over at eight thirty.”
“Good. Do you have days off?”
“Yes, usually one weekend day and one weekday. It gives Brody time with his family if I spot him on the weekends. Why?”
She used her chopsticks like an expert. He liked the grace with which she moved. And the way she seemed to step in and help her friends.
“Come spend the day with me. We can go see the leaves. Drive up north a bit, have a nice meal, drive back. Do you like jazz?”
“I like most kinds of music. Especially live.”
“There’s a place. In SODO. Big band jazz. We can stop off at the house and then go for a drink and some music.”
Her face lit and he was glad he’d suggested it.
“Yes. I’d love that.”
“All right then. I have some work Saturday, but I have Monday off.”
“Okay then.”
He wanted to push it a little. “You should wear red. I like you in red. And your hair down.”
She looked him over as she ate for long moments. “All right.”
Raven liked how he backed off after she’d told him about being in foster care. She liked how he’d opened her door and pulled out her chair. It had been . . . odd, yes, odd the way a thrill had rushed through her when he’d told her to wear red and leave her hair down.
If another man had said the same thing, in the same bossy tone he’d used, she’d have gotten up and left the restaurant. But he wasn’t another man. And her pussy seemed to really like it when he got bossy with her.
Probably something she should get therapy for, like everything else in her life, but a girl needed a few issues, right?
He insisted on paying and she let him. It was thirty bucks anyway. He insisted on walking her back, her hand in his as he spoke about this or that, nothing serious or heavy.
He shielded her body with his own, walking on the outside, moving in front of her if a crowd came walking from the opposite direction. It was courtly. Gentlemanly.
No one treated her that way. But he did.
It shouldn’t have mattered. It was just manners. But it did. And she wasn’t sure if she wanted it not to matter more than she liked that it did.
At the door to the shop he paused, pulling her out of the doorway. He pulled her close and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Thanks for sharing your time with me.”
“I’m glad you came out. I know it’s not exactly near your office.”
He shrugged. “My office is in the north part of downtown. It’s really only about ten minutes away. And.” He paused, bending down to kiss her, warmth rushing through her system at that contact. “I like seeing you.”
“Like fried food.”
Confusion washed over his features. “Hm?”
“I really like it. But it’s super bad for me. And yet, I can’t get enough. You’re like egg rolls.”
His confusion was replaced by a rather rakish grin. “I’m way less fattening.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. See you Friday at your place, then.”
He let her go, hauling her back once more for another kiss before finally opening the door.
“Just gonna watch you walk away. Your ass is spectacular.” He said it quietly, his breath brushing against her ear and sending a shiver through her.
5
Raven looked up from the client she’d just finished working on to catch sight of Erin coming through the door with Alexander on her hip.
When he saw Raven, his face lit up and he clapped. “Auntie!”
The thing about three-year-olds was that they didn’t judge you. Oh well, they did, but for stuff like not having Goldfish crackers in your cabinets. So she always was sure to have Goldfish in her cabinets, because hello.
She’d never understood this about children before Alexander had been born. Raven had always tended to avoid them before that. But when he’d come along, she’d fallen in love nearly instantly.
Alexander, like his mother, was simply impossible not to love. And so she’d given up trying to keep any walls around her heart
and it had been one of the best decisions she’d ever made.
Being with Alexander was always so awesome because he accepted her. The way she was. Not the way he thought she should be. There was something comforting in that.
She thanked her client, a guy she’d done work on for nearly ten years, and moved to where Brody had intercepted Alexander, swinging him up high and then bringing him in close for a hug.
He giggled, joy simply radiating from him. “Bo, Bo, Bo! Yo.”
Raven laughed at what a big old softie Brody was.
Erin grinned up at her brother, watching the way Alexander crawled up that chest with absolutely no fear.
“He’s going to give me a heart attack. He’s not afraid of anything.”
Brody snorted. “Welcome to my world. You and Adrian aged me at least fifteen years, and you’re both still around today. Uncle Brody isn’t going to drop this kiddo.”
“No way, Bo!” Alexander kissed his uncle’s chin, tugging his beard.
He wouldn’t, Raven knew. He was just that sort of man.
“It’s probably also that his dads are so gigantic he has no idea that’s not the norm.” Raven put her head on Erin’s shoulder a moment as they watched Alexander.
“Could be. How are things?”
“Not bad at all. Seems to be my week for visits from people at the shop, so I can’t complain. You?”
“Groovy. Want to come to Red Mill with me and the young master? He sat straight up in bed this morning and shouted, ‘Rings!’ I took that as a suggestion we come grab you for a lunch date.”
Brody handed him over to Raven and he latched on, hugging her neck and giving her sloppy kisses. She squeezed him back, loving his weight and the way he trusted her to hold and not let go.
Erin kissed his elbow. “What say you, baby? Can Auntie come along for burgers and rings?”
He let go enough to lean back and look up into Raven’s face. He grinned, showing a neat row of straight white teeth. “Sure. Yes!”
“Awesome. It’s a date then.” She swung him to her hip and he held on, playing with her hair as she checked her appointments. “I’m free for another few hours.”
“I wish it wasn’t so cold already or we could make a picnic of it.”
“Ah well, it’s always a picnic when we’re together.” She kissed Alexander’s forehead.
They walked, as it wasn’t raining and they weren’t in a hurry. Once she put him down, Alexander held her hand on one side and his mom’s on the other.
“How’d it go? With Jonah, I mean.”
Raven rolled her eyes at Erin’s failure to sound so casual when she was really just digging for info.
“He came in to take me to lunch yesterday. I’m starting his tat tomorrow night actually. You should see his house. View of the lake. Huge. Lots of art all over the place. He can cook pretty well too.”
Well aware of Alexander’s awesome ability to mimic and repeat any and all manner of things, Raven knew Erin was dying to ask about sexytimes but couldn’t. This amused her greatly.
“Gillian says he asked about you. Through Daisy and Levi, of course. It was nice, don’t get that look.”
“He’s the type who wants to know everything.”
Erin laughed. “He’s going to be so frustrated with you. Then again, I’m going to bet he finds the mystery hot.”
“He’s bossy. I’m sure he thinks it’s simply his due to know everything about me.”
Erin sent one raised brow as Raven opened the door at Red Mill.
“Rings. Rings. Rings!” Alexander did a little dance as they waited in line.
“I feel you, kid.” She gave her order quickly and efficiently. They didn’t mess around at Red Mill. You didn’t talk on your cell phone when you got to the counter or they’d send you to the end of the line. They didn’t have a twenty-eight-page menu. But everything they did, they did to perfection, including the green chili chicken sandwich and rings she was going to stuff down her gullet in just a few minutes.
It was late enough that they found a table and squeezed in. Alexander tapped and sang as Erin blew on the freshly made rings so he wouldn’t burn his tongue.
Her friend was an awesome mother. Alexander would never have even a moment in his childhood when he doubted how much he was loved. It meant a lot to Raven to know that on his behalf. Meant a lot to know that Alexander would grow up to be an adult who lavished love and attention on his children too.
And it also meant a lot to Raven to know she could love this child and prove to herself that she wasn’t so broken she was incapable of being a mother herself. If she ever wanted to, which she wasn’t sure about.
But Alexander helped her put a lot of perspective between herself and her history.
“You’re coming for Thanksgiving, right?”
Raven sighed. “I don’t know, Erin. I usually travel at the holidays.”
“But things have changed now.” Erin tipped her chin in Alexander’s direction.
“Will Adrian be there?”
“Gillian will. And Poppy. And Miles and Rennie and Martine. And Alexander.”
Alexander waved an onion ring round. “I be there.”
“That’s always my favorite part, bud.” She smiled his way before looking back to Erin. “You’re really sneaky and underhanded.” Erin knew Raven couldn’t resist things if Alexander was part of them.
“I totally am. Which is ultimately part of my charm. Let’s be real.”
“It’s sad you have such deep self-esteem problems. I’m not a holiday-with-the-family person. You know that.”
“The people you were born to don’t deserve you anyway. What I know is that I’m your family. And I love you and this monkey right here loves you and Gillian loves you. Brody loves you. Rennie adores you. Even Adrian has softened because that baby of his thinks you’re the best thing ever. Please? You’re often gone during the holiday season and I don’t want you to be alone. I want you at my table eating turkey.”
“You’re not going to be satisfied until I agree, are you?” Not that Raven really wanted her to be disappointed. Knowing someone wanted her at their table meant something.
“Heck no.” Erin’s grin showed no guilt.
Alexander patted her hand. “Heck no. There’s turkey!”
Raven kissed Alexander’s temple and he shoved a piece of grilled cheese sandwich in his mouth.
“Fine.”
“You need to always give in to my requests. Things would be so much easier that way.”
Raven rolled her eyes and Alexander told her about his new preschool class before they finished up and walked back to the shop. Pausing for bird sightings and to take a few turns on the swings.
It had been a very nice two-hour break.
“It’s good you have an in with the boss to take such long breaks.” Erin winked at her as Alexander strolled over to watch his uncle work.
Erin owned the café next door so Alexander had spent a lot of his childhood not only there but in Written On The Body as well.
“Kid’s got a fascination with ink.” At least he knew people who’d give him great work when the time came. Or he’d end up a tattoo artist.
“He’s lucky enough to be able to watch two of the very best in the world on a regular basis.” Erin waggled her brows. “We need to get together for drinks so you can give me all the dirty details about Jonah,” she added in an undertone. “You’re coming to Delicious on Sunday, right?”
Raven shifted, uncomfortable. Mary, the woman who ran the supper club, came up once a month to host it for their friends and family. The food was wonderful, but it was exhausting to put out all the effort everyone expected of Raven.
Erin looked to Alexander, who had hopped up next to Brody, watching intently. “She asked if you were coming. Mary likes you. It’s a fun adult thing and I so rarely get that. I want you there. I know it’s selfish of me. But we can have some wine and you can tell me about Jonah.”
“Or I can write you an e-mail o
r you can call.”
Erin’s expression told Raven that her friend wouldn’t let up until she agreed. “Everyone is so nice. I’m not one of you.”
“Stop pretending to be so hard. This is me you’re talking to.”
“It makes me really tired. With you I don’t have to work so fucking hard. I’m just . . . anyway. Maybe I’ll go.”
Erin searched her features and Raven didn’t want to be known so well right then. She craved the lonely—but under her control—space people made around her when they didn’t get her.
And Erin made it worse by hugging her and speaking in her ear. “I love you, Raven. I love every part of you. I accept you because you always have loved every part of me. Thank you.”
“Stop. Please. Not now.” Tears threatened and she willed them away.
Erin brushed the hair back from Raven’s face. “I’m sorry. I just like being around you and it’s been so awesome having you here more since Alexander has come. I want other people to know you like Brody and I do.”
“Yeah, well, not everyone finds my honesty refreshing.” She stepped back, pulling herself together. “I have a client coming in a bit. I’ll talk to you soon. I promise. And I love you too.”
Brody had noted the exchange with a raised brow to Erin, but said nothing. Erin knew her brother would ask her later on just what had transpired between them.
Alexander patted the hand of the client getting the ink. “Nice going, dude.” He hopped down as Brody laughed and kissed the top of his head. “Bye, Bo. See you later. Love you.”
“Love you too, monkey.”
Alexander ran back to his mom but stopped to get a hug from Raven, who’d knelt to get face-to-face with him.
“Love you, Auntie.”
“You know I love you right back. Always and forever. But I like to say it anyway. Because you make me happy. “
Erin knew they weren’t just words to Raven. Many people told kids stuff but didn’t really think on the depth of commitment the words given came with. People said I love you with so much ease, but they didn’t usually mean it. Not really.
The thing people did not understand about Raven, because they only saw her outside, was that she didn’t say anything casually. Or easily. Though she was often blunt, it was her way of trying to connect on some level. But when it didn’t work, it only pushed her further away.