by Lauren Dane
She shook her head. “I don’t even know what to do with you. I mean, the sex stuff, sure. But the heart stuff? I don’t know how to manage it. If you’d done the background check, you know you could have found out about whatever happened in my past. You’d have answers to your questions.”
“I want to find out from you. Your past, the things you’ve endured and survived, aren’t something I should hear from reports. They’re yours. To go around you and find out when you’ve slowly been revealing yourself to me would be a rejection of what you mean to me. I admire you for how you survived. It’s your story, you should tell it.”
She looked up at the ceiling to hold back the tears, blinking quickly. “I don’t know how to do this stuff. I’ve never been in a relationship before.”
He took her hand, kissing her fingertips. “Sure you have. You’re in a relationship with Erin, who is quite the defender, let me tell you. She loves you. You’re in a relationship with Alexander. Hell, and Poppy and Martine. Rennie, who stares at you like you’re a disco ball or something equally shiny and miraculous.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“I know. But you seem to think you can’t do this simply because no one has really been worth it before. And I’m telling you, you have made a commitment to people and you’ve done it successfully. And you’ve made one to me. And that’s pretty damned successful too. I love you, Raven. You make my heart beat faster, even when you’re being particularly vexing. I want to be worth it for you, the way you are for me.”
She swallowed past a knot of emotion. “You don’t love me. You can’t love me. I’m a novelty, nothing more.”
“You really make me angry when you say stuff like that. I’m not twenty, or a fucking cat. I can tell the difference between novelty and love. I’ve loved you since the start.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings or offend you. But see how I am? I do it without even trying. I can’t fit into your world of benefits and swanky dinners and people with names everyone knows. I’m not that girl.”
“You’re my girl. That’s what counts. Can’t you see that? I had a wife who looked good on my arm at parties and was nothing more. You’re so much more than that. Can’t you see yourself? Hm? You’re here in Seattle for Erin and Brody. And Alexander. You do for other people all the time. They don’t even need to ask, you just do it. You’re something so special.”
“And you.”
He cocked his head.
“I’m in Seattle for you.”
He smiled. “Yeah?”
She nodded, not knowing what else to say, so she just kept quiet.
He pulled her close, kissing her temple. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. About the whole background-check thing.”
“You didn’t tell me to spare my feelings. I get it, Jonah. You’re rich. Good god, I’d be such a liar if I pretended I didn’t know that. Levi wanted to protect that, and given the women you all married, well, I get it. If you want to run a check, I won’t be hurt. I don’t have an arrest record. I have five figures in the bank. I own this condo and my car. Well, I pretty much own the condo; I only have a year of payments left. The point is, I don’t have any real debt. Mainly because I didn’t really stay in any place for very long to accrue it. I live simply except for my addiction to travel and panties. I do like nice underwear. Probably comes from wearing hand-me-downs and garage-sale stuff for most of my childhood. I don’t want your money, but I love the presents you give me. I’m with you because of who you are to me, not to everyone else.”
“You say you don’t know how to do this, but you’re doing just fine.”
He was so glad he’d told her. He’d been worrying over the last month about it. Vacillating between wanting to let it go and wanting to tell her so it wouldn’t pop up to hurt her.
A weight was off his shoulders and after their conversation, she never ceased to touch and surprise him. Things felt good. Better than ever.
And now he watched her move. Goddamn. They’d done a little dancing when he’d taken her to the big band club the month before. But this . . .
A distinctly Latin remix played in the club and she switched her hips back and forth in time with the beat, her tits moving just right, enough to render him so hard it nearly hurt. Of course, knowing she wore the chain helped too.
He just stood there and let her make him look good. He’d confessed he wasn’t much for club dancing and that’s what she’d told him.
She backed up to him, whipping her hair back. He slid his hands over her shoulders and then down to her hips. Her head was turned to the side, her gaze locked with his as she brushed that luscious ass against his cock and then dropped it low, stood, bent at the waist and pressed back as she slowly stood again when the song ended and something else came on.
Her hands went up and he held her waist as she stayed against him. This was his woman. Oh, he saw the glances. Saw that some of the people knew her. One or two of them actually got near enough for her to shake her head no and turn back to him. Far from feeling jealous, it made him hot all over. Others may have wanted her, but she was his. Totally and utterly.
That was fucking sexy.
Finally after a while she turned to him, encircling his neck with her arms. “I need a drink. I’m hot.”
He bent to kiss her. “You sure are. I think I can buy you a drink in thanks for all the entertainment your ass has given me all night long.”
He walked in front of her, keeping her behind him, one arm reached back to keep her against him and to take the bulk of the crowd so she wouldn’t get bumped.
“What would you like?” he asked when they finally reached the table where their group had set up.
“A water and a cosmo. Please.”
She scooted in next to Erin and he followed. The waitress caught his eye and came over. He indicated a reorder of what everyone already had at the table and got his and Raven’s drinks.
It was loud, though thankfully not so thick with smoke he could barely breathe like it had been in his premarriage days. The lights flickered all around them as he took her hand. Levi and Daisy came over and sat with them as well.
It was good. He was too old to want to do this on a regular basis. But dancing with Raven when she was all sensual and moved the way she did? Well, that was totally worth the crowd and the noise.
They stayed for several more hours before making their way back to his place. She still slept in his guest room and that was . . . all right. He hoped that one day she’d move to his bed. But he got it. And he would let her make those steps herself. He knew her well enough to understand just spending the night in his house was a big step for her. So he’d continue to be patient because she was worth it.
She changed into the pajamas she seemed to own in every possible combination from sexy silky vixen stuff to what she wore then, flannel with her ever-present socks.
They snuggled in his living room listening to music and drinking tea.
“Erin told me to invite you to pool and karaoke when Carrie goes back to Italy and you’re free for social stuff again. They used to go once a week but now that everyone has babies they go once a month. Sometimes it’s at Adrian and Gillian’s place because they have a game room and a pretty nifty karaoke machine.”
He hadn’t really been part of a social group since he’d been married. Most of them had been Charlotte’s friends and had chosen her after the divorce. He did hang out with his brothers, but now that he and Levi had girlfriends in the same circle he saw his brother more than he had in some time. He liked that too.
“Sounds good. Listen, Erin invited me to Thanksgiving. I said no because there’s a big thing at my parents’ place. My grandparents will be there. All my brothers and Carrie too. I know you’re busy with dinner with them and with Alexander’s party and stuff. But after. You know if you were done, I mean. We won’t eat dinner until eight. I want you to meet Carrie. I’ve told her about you so that’s not a problem. She wants to meet you
too. Daisy and Levi will be there, and you know Mal will be there, but not Gwen since they’ve split and all.”
“I don’t know. I barely want to go to Gillian’s for Thanksgiving. I’m not really cut out for dinners with the family. You know? It’s not . . . I’m not good at it. I’m going to say something offensive. And I don’t want to put you in that position.”
“I think you’re better at it than you let yourself believe.”
She laughed. “I nearly got into a fistfight with your brother’s wife!”
“She deserved it. And she started it. My grandfather will tell you stories about Korea and my grandmother will drink wine and make my mother uncomfortable all day. It’s really the only day of the year we get to see my mother on the other side of the way she often treats others.”
“Oh. Well, that is alluring.”
“Look, I know this is new. But I would like you to be with me. I haven’t had anyone at a holiday dinner with me since Charlotte.”
“So no pressure or anything,”
He squeezed her hand. “No pressure. I just want to be with you. Nothing more.”
She sighed but he could tell she was seriously thinking it over.
“You don’t have to say yes for sure at this point.”
“I’ll be there. Dinner at Gillian and Adrian’s will be at noon. They’ll do the cake for Alexander just after that. Erin is very low key for his birthday parties. Just family and cake.”
“No unicorns or anything? Gift bags with diamond rings and a pony?”
“She doesn’t want to spoil him. Well, with material stuff. They’re going to Disneyland in the spring with Brody and Elise and their kids.”
“I like that. I’m the same way with Carrie. I mean, yes, she’s studying abroad and stuff, but a lot of girls her age in her crowd got BMWs for their sixteenth birthdays. I just couldn’t see that sort of extravagance. I got her a car, I can’t lie. But it was used. Safe though, of course.”
“I wouldn’t imagine anything else. So I should be done by five or so.”
“If you want to come to my house, you can ride over with me and Carrie. That way you can meet her before we get to my parents’ house. Might be a little easier that way.”
She blew out a breath. “Yeah, no pressure.”
He tipped her chin. “No pressure. You’re part of my life, I want them to know that. I want them to know you and for you to know them. People do this all the time. You can do this with one eye closed.”
“That might make it easier.”
He grinned.
18
She pulled up in Jonah’s driveway and tried to stay calm. Gillian had given her a pep talk. Erin had said everything would be fine. Daisy had said Carrie was a really nice young woman. Alexander had given her a hug and smeared frosting on her shirt, but the hug had been worth the price and she was going to change anyway.
She ran home to change, choosing the dress Gillian had given her just a week before. She’d said, when she handed it over, that she’d seen it in a shop window and it had called out to be owned by Raven. Gillian wasn’t a clotheshorse at all. She didn’t love shopping the way Erin did. So Raven had taken it as a great compliment. And when she’d put the dress on she’d agreed it was something perfect for her.
That and she’d known Gillian knew how nervous Raven had been about this dinner and wanted her to be at least a little more comfortable. Gillian, an outsider as well, in her own way, got that about Raven better than most anyone.
It had a boatneck; the top piece sort of looked as if it were a separate thing, falling to her hips. Then a skirt with two color blocks, falling to just above her knees. The top part was purple, the middle block was a sandy beige and the bottom was two or so shades lighter. It was something she’d never have chosen on her own. But it made her feel beautiful. And that was a lot.
Neutral-toned heels completed the look. She’d kept her hair down but pulled back from her face with a band. A cardigan would keep her warm and also hide her ink. She wasn’t ashamed of it or anything, but there was no use showing it off the first time she met most of his family.
She got out and headed to the front door and knocked. He answered with a smile. “You’re here.” He kissed her, turning to put an arm around her shoulder and guide her into the house. “I like that dress.”
“Gillian gave it to me a week ago. Everyone says hello. Daisy and Levi said they’d see you later tonight.”
A lovely young woman came downstairs.
She looked Raven over and then smiled. “You’re Raven.” She held her hand out. “I’m Carrie. My dad talks about you all the time.”
Raven shook her hand. “Does he? He talks about you all the time too. You make him very proud.” She’d practiced that one a few times. She meant it so she hoped it sounded genuine.
She had great teeth. Holy cow, that smile was big and bright. Her hair was long. Dark like her father’s. The cut was perfection. It fell around her face just right, emphasizing her eyes, more green than brown. This girl’s mother must have been stunning. Correct, must be stunning. Raven tried not to think about Charlotte, but damn, if this child was any reflection on her, Raven was going to develop an even bigger complex.
“My dad showed me the tattoo you’re doing on his back. It’s amazing. I said I was going to ask you to do one for me.”
Raven laughed as she allowed herself to imagine Jonah’s look of horror when his kid sprung that on him. “I’m going to guess he gave you a lecture about how you should be older before you made such a permanent choice for yourself and your skin.”
Jonah made a little sound and suddenly Raven was all right. His kid was all right. She could have been snooty and spoiled, but she wasn’t.
“That’s pretty much exactly what he said. So I told him I’d catch you in the summer before I went off to college. I’ll be eighteen then.”
Raven put her hands up in surrender. “I tend to agree with the being-older-and-really-think-hard-about-how-you’re-permanently-changing-your-skin viewpoint. Plus, I’m afraid he might send your grandmother to rough me up if I did that without his okay.”
Carrie’s eyes widened, lit with amusement. “I heard you met her. She’s something else, isn’t she? She is a good person most of the time. She’s really old school and sometimes she forgets her manners.”
“I just figured she was bossy and powerful and liked it that way.” Oh, for god’s sake, did she say that out loud? She winced, but Jonah just squeezed her shoulders.
“That too. Are we ready?”
“I have something to take along with me. Jules, she’s a pretty talented pastry chef. She makes these cherry walnut things. I brought some. Don’t worry, Gillian put them on some fancy plate she said would be a nice gift. And in case someone was allergic to nuts, I have an apple cranberry tart too.”
“We’ll get them on the way out. Oh, you left your coat here. It’s in the hall closet. Carrie, get the stuff you brought back for your grandparents.”
Carrie ran upstairs and Raven turned to him. “I didn’t leave my coat here.” She gave him a raised brow. “Maybe one of your other girlfriends did.”
“I know. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable. I bought you one.”
“You did what? I don’t need a coat. I have a parka thing I got when I agreed to go snowboarding a few years back.”
“Yes, you do. Your parka thing is too heavy and not pretty for events like this. Plus that sweater you have on is lovely, but not warm enough.”
“It’s not fur, is it? Because I don’t wear fur.”
He fought a smile, turning to pull the coat from the closet. He was charming. Far too charming for her peace of mind because she had trouble saying no to the man. This was nothing she’d encountered before. She loved saying no. It was a favorite. But not with this guy.
“Not fur. Cashmere.”
It was a simple but beautiful black coat, and when she put it on, she nearly moaned. He’d clearly thought about what she’d like and what w
ould look good on her. Another reason she was helpless against him. He gave presents, yes, but he put effort into everything he surprised her with. The material was soft and very warm, the hem had movement—she thought they called it a swing coat. Daisy would know that sort of thing.
“Thank you. It’s gorgeous.”
“Any time. I don’t like to see you shiver.”
“I usually go south or west in the late fall and winter. I hate the heat, but I really love to be somewhere balmy and sunny when it’s cold here.”
“We’ll go to Maui soon.”
“Dude. You spoil me. The coat is plenty.”
He kissed her temple. “It’s my job to spoil you. Anyway, you like to travel and I like the idea of you in a bikini. That’s a win/win for me. Now, come on. Time to have dinner at the Warner household.”
She sucked in a breath and staved off the panic. “If you say so.”
She had an idea the Warner house would be pretty swank. But what greeted her when they got to the end of the drive was of course swank, but also understated and elegant. Sort of a Cape Cod, maybe? She didn’t really know what the real name for it was, but this seemed to be a more historic part of Seattle so several in this style had dotted their way here, though other big, clearly newer modern homes had been erected in the place of the older house that came with the lot.
The front of the house had a smallish yard, but it was well manicured with big trees dotting the area.
Other cars were already there. Plenty of BMWs and Mercedes. She saw the truck though, but pressed her lips together hard to keep from commenting.
“Uncle Toby is here already.” Carrie, who insisted on riding in the back rather than Raven, who’d wanted to. She’d said Raven was her dad’s girlfriend and could ride in the front. Jonah had sealed it when he put an arm around Raven’s waist and opened the door for his daughter to slide into the back. Raven had given him a look but he smiled and kissed her nose.