by , Sammy J;
He blinked, then cleared his throat. ‘Well, ah, that is most gratifying to know. As I was just explaining to Justin, ah, I have always put the school’s interests first, and I think these changes will help us build on our past success.’
‘We all agree,’ said Eliza. ‘A round of applause for the principal!’
The staff clapped and cheered loudly. Featherstone smiled awkwardly.
‘Of course, I did make a few amendments,’ Eliza whispered, handing him the new rules.
Featherstone scanned the page as the staff continued to clap.
‘Hold on,’ he said with a scowl. ‘These aren’t the rules I proposed …’
‘But they’re the rules you’re about to live by,’ said Eliza, grinning.
‘Rubbish! Rule 159 – changes aren’t official until the bell goes.’
‘Well then,’ said Justin, glancing out the window, ‘it’s time to turn this school around.’
And right on cue, the bell rang out across Mount Willow Secondary School.
Mount Willow Secondary School Revised Rules
1.There will be no changes to the teaching of English, Maths or Science.
2.Extracurricular activities will now include chess and a minimum of 27 other non-sporting options.
3.The Music Department, Drama Theatre and Art Room are all to be upgraded immediately, with costs to be recouped from the principal’s salary.
4.Funding for the new Turner Centre for Sportelligence will be redirected into a new Centre for Academic Excellence.
5.All students, regardless of ability, will participate in the school musical.
6.Miss Granger is to be re-employed immediately.
7.There will be no special treatment given to any student regardless of donations made by their family.
8.The original school motto is hereby restored.
9.No spitballs allowed.
SIGNED & APPROVED BY:
Dr Featherstone
Principal
The sky was a brilliant mix of purple and orange as seven hundred high school students emerged from their activities, blinking in the morning sun.
Above them, hordes of fruit bats soared towards the mountain to sleep for the day.
Most of the students were too tired to talk. After ten hours of sport, some could barely even walk.
They gathered in the quadrangle as the teachers – looking equally disoriented – trickled out of the staffroom. Featherstone was the last to emerge. He stood on the wooden steps, looked out at his students, and raised his voice as loudly as he could.
‘Good morning, Mount Willow,’ he said hoarsely. ‘And congratulations to each and every one of you. As promised, we saw this through. And we are all the stronger for it.’
In the crowd, a kid fainted.
‘Your parents are being contacted, and will be arriving shortly to take you home.’
Justin and Eliza coughed impatiently. He caught their eye and continued.
‘I would also like to announce some … ah … changes to the school rules, details of which will be available on our website later today.’
Justin and Eliza nodded their approval.
‘In the meantime, please go home and get some rest. School is cancelled until tomorrow morning.’
Not even this news could raise any excitement. The jumbo jets needed refuelling.
The students didn’t realise it at the time, but this night would become one of their favourite memories ever. They would tell the story endlessly – on school camps, at university, to their grandkids – and people would scarcely believe it was true. Some kids would remember it as the happiest night of their life. Others would require years of counselling. Some children made friends that would last a lifetime. Others discovered unknown talents. One boy wet his pants and had to fashion a pair of shorts out of paper towel. He went on to invent a brand new line of ultra-comfortable incontinence pads, improving the lives of millions of people. There are seven hundred other stories that could be told, but sadly, there isn’t time for all of them here.
A row of cars had already formed at the school’s entrance. Justin and Eliza walked side-by-side in silence.
‘Well, that’s high school over,’ mumbled Eliza.
‘Yep,’ said Justin. His heart felt heavy. ‘Congratulations, I guess.’
‘Thanks,’ said Eliza. ‘Not sure my parents will be so pleased.’
Justin stared at his feet. His ankle still hurt.
‘You should be proud, Justin. This place is about to get a whole lot better thanks to you.’
‘Thanks to both of us,’ said Justin.
They kept on walking. The car park was approaching faster than Justin wanted it to.
‘But … if things are improving … why won’t you stay?’
Eliza watched a fruit bat gliding overhead. ‘There are too many other Eliza Burtons out there. If I don’t start now I’ll never meet them all.’
‘Where do they live?’
‘All over the world. There are two in Canada. Four in Spain. And possibly one in Russia.’
‘And how are you going to find them?’
Eliza grinned. ‘I’ll figure it out when I get there.’
Justin had known Eliza for less than twenty-four hours, but he could tell she was serious.
Up ahead, an argument broke out in the car park. A very angry parent was poking Dr Featherstone aggressively in the chest.
‘You can’t be serious? WE HAD A DEAL!’
‘I know that, Mr Turner, but there’s been a change in the rules. I can no longer take your money.’
Other parents were gathering around to witness the dispute.
‘Bloody ridiculous! I was the regional under-16s boys badminton champion when I was Wade’s age! If I hadn’t pursued a career in financial planning, I’d have an Olympic gold medal by now!’ Spittle flew out of Derek Turner’s mouth as he spoke. ‘You promised me you’d make him a star!’
‘We’ll still encourage Wade's sporting pursuits,’ said Featherstone. ‘He’ll just need to balance them with his role in the – ah – school musical. Which is now compulsory.’
Derek Turner steadied himself on his Mercedes Benz.
‘This is absolutely—’
But Derek Turner didn’t get to finish his sentence, because at that moment the Athletic Muscle Bus roared into view and pulled up right next to his Mercedes Benz.
Then it rolled into his Mercedes Benz.
‘Handbrake!’ yelled Erik, opening the door.
‘Sorry!’ said Denise from the driver’s seat.
Eliza and Justin watched with delight as members of the Night Patrol filed out of the bus, followed by the Ultimate Chess Club.
Rob held his violin aloft and began playing a jovial refrain.
‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ said Louise with a flourish, ‘during today’s performance, the role of Romeo will be played by – Wade Turner!’
Parents, staff and students all turned their heads as Wade emerged from the bus wearing a makeshift Elizabethan tunic. On his head sat a cardboard hat, and his face was covered in white powder.
‘We couldn’t find any make up, so we had to use chalk,’ Sally whispered with a grin.
‘In your own time,’ said Gordon, nudging Wade. ‘Big loud voice.’
Wade stared at his feet, grimacing.
‘Come on, champ,’ whispered Erik. ‘It’s a very light punishment, after all.’
‘Or would you prefer to play Juliet?’ said Denise, crossing her arms.
Wade sighed. ‘Dad, could you wait in the car please?’
Derek Turner nodded gravely. His face looked even whiter than Wade’s as he slipped straight into the driver’s seat.
Then Wade Turner stepped forward, took a breath, and addressed the crowd.
�
��Thus with a kiss, I die.’
The audience cheered as Wade bundled himself into the back seat of his dad’s car and slammed the door shut.
Justin couldn’t help himself. ‘Checkmate,’ he remarked, as the car sped away.
No-one else heard it, but it sure felt good to say.
One by one, the students of Mount Willow were collected by their parents. Featherstone stood in the carpark, farewelling each child individually. As the crowd thinned out, he approached Justin and Eliza.
‘So, how was your first day?’ he asked with a nervous smile.
They stared back at him.
‘Look,’ said Featherstone, ‘I’d like to thank you both. For – ah – giving me this opportunity. To turn myself around, that is.’
Featherstone’s eyes began to water.
‘Adults can be bullies too,’ he added, sniffing. ‘It takes courage to stand up to them.’
‘It sure does,’ said Shortbread, stepping towards him.
Featherstone jumped. ‘Why, Brad – ah, Shortbread – what can I do for you?’
Shortbread pointed to the bell tower.
‘I know who broke the bell.’
‘Really?’ Featherstone crossed his arms.
‘Yep. A student.’ Shortbread glanced nervously at Justin.
Featherstone paused. ‘This is a serious allegation, Shortbread. There are severe penalties for tampering with school property.’
‘I know, Sir. But I can’t keep it secret any longer.’
Justin began to feel dizzy. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to end.
‘Well?’ said Featherstone. ‘Who was it, then?’
Shortbread sighed, then removed his cap. ‘It was me.’
Justin and Eliza’s mouths dropped open in perfect synchronisation.
Featherstone shook his head. ‘Why on earth …’
‘I’ve been in there so long,’ said Shortbread, shrugging. ‘I guess I just got bored.’
The lines on Featherstone’s face seemed to soften.
‘Well then,’ he said, ‘I’m afraid I have no option but to expel you.’ Featherstone placed a hand on Shortbread’s shoulder. ‘And to ask for your forgiveness.’
Shortbread nodded, then burst into tears.
Featherstone did the same.
It had been a long night.
‘This is my ride.’ Eliza tapped Justin on the shoulder. At the far end of the car park, a battered blue car was pulling up.
Justin’s mind raced through approximately sixty-five possible things to say. None of them were smart, funny or endearing enough. In the end, as usual, he decided to be honest.
‘Eliza?’
‘Yeah?’
‘I did lie to you. I actually really like Frozen.’
Eliza laughed. ‘So do I,’ she said sheepishly.
They’d arrived at the car. Eliza opened the back door. ‘Wish me luck.’
Justin went one better. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his lucky pawn.
‘Take this with you?’
Eliza hesitated. ‘But – that’s your lucky pawn!’
‘It’d be even luckier if it got to see the world.’
Eliza took the chess piece, beaming, then threw her arms around Justin and gave him an enormous hug.
‘See you again, Justin Monaghetti.’
‘See you again, Eliza Burton, number forty-seven.’
Justin closed the door behind her, then watched as the car drove away.
Above him, the early morning sun hovered in the sky, bathing Mount Willow in a warm orange glow.
Justin stared straight at it and grinned.
He felt invincible.
Acknowledgements
A big thank you to Hannah, Heath McIvor, Joe Sciglitano, Benjamin Stevenson, Vanessa Lanaway, Sarah Mawer, Raul Garderes, Buxstock Comedy Management, Stupid Old Studios, and everyone at Five Mile for having me on board. Special thanks to the teachers who helped me find my bus. And biggest thanks to my editor Melissa Keil, without whom this story would have been half as long and twice as confusing.
Sammy J (aka Sam Jonathan McMillan) first tried to get a book published when he was eleven years old, but received seventeen rejection letters. He then passed the time writing comedy songs, making TV shows, and touring the world as a comedian. Then he wrote another book – and this time, it got published. He hopes you enjoy reading it.
Sammy J is a proud Ambassador for Big Brothers Big Sisters Australia, a charity that provides long-term one-to-one mentoring for youth in need of support. To find out more, please visit:
www.bigbrothersbigsisters.org.au
Five Mile, an imprint of Bonnier Publishing Australia
Level 6, 534 Church Street,
Richmond, Victoria 3121
www.fivemile.com.au
First published 2018
This ebook edition published 2018
Text copyright © Sammy J, 2018
Copyright © Five Mile, 2018
Cover art copyright © Raúl Gárderes, 2018
Design by Sarah Mawer
Ebook creation by Shaun Jury
Additional images courtesy of Shutterstock
All rights reserved
CIP information is available from the National Library of Australia