The buzzing in her ears got louder. She had to get out of there.
She took a shaky inhale. “I’m just going to get my coat and umbrella.”
His eyes narrowed, “I’ll only be a minute.”
Ryann nearly stumbled in her haste to get to the door. She grabbed her coat and umbrella, and ran outside desperate to find a cab, since she now had no time to call for a car. Thank God she hadn’t gotten into that limo with him, she thought.
She knew the Board of Trustees had many responsibilities, but the one that had just given her heart a jolt was the one where the trustees oversaw the personnel, and the hiring of their instructors. Given the fact that he would now be the new Vice Chairperson, and she was interning to be an instructor there, the ethical implications meant she could never have a relationship with him. The realization left her feeling a tangible loss she hadn’t felt in months.
This was for the best...this was for the best...this was for the best…. She continued the mantra in her head.
Having spent the last hour or so in the presence of a frustrating, but beautiful man whose sole purpose was to tell her how much he wanted her, made her crave that feeling of desire once more. She hadn’t been on the receiving end of that kind of attention since Brent, and now that she had a taste of it again, she couldn’t remember how she had survived without it.
Her eyes began to burn with unshed tears, and she had to stave them off until she could catch a taxi. The keen loneliness enveloped her, and she knew that if she didn’t get out of there in the next 10 seconds, she would be a sobbing mess.
Just as she hailed a cab, and had one foot inside the door, she heard a voice yelling behind her from several feet away, “Ryann? Ryann!”
She quickly stammered, “I’m sorry, Jeremy. I need to go!” With that, she climbed into the car, slammed the door, and in a panic said, “Go!”
As the cab pulled out, she never looked back. It was better this way. He would realize soon enough the reason why she left, and she was sure he would agree.
After Ryann told the driver her address, she slumped back into the seat with relief, a lone tear tracking down her face. She swiped it away furiously, annoyed with herself. All she wanted to do was shut off her brain and get into bed. She had a long day ahead of her with packing, picking up her car from the service station, not to mention being ready for the movers coming Sunday to take her to her new home in Chelsea.
She needed her energy, so she closed her eyes and tried not to think. Or more accurately, feel. Quiet tears leaked from her eyes.
Chapter 8
Thankfully, the commute getting home was quicker than the one getting into the City. She was pulling up to her house only 30 minutes later. The taxi stopped in front of the FOR SALE sign on her lawn.
As Ryann was digging through her purse to pay the fare, she heard a knock on the window.
There, standing in the rain, was Jeremy.
He opened the door and calmly offered his hand to help her out of the cab.
“Jeremy…” she stuttered, “what the hell are you doing here?!”
She had to clench her teeth to keep them from chattering. Her body had a mind of its own when it came to him, and as soon as she saw him outside the window, her body went from tingling all over, to goose bumps, to a beautiful warmth that seeped through to her bones.
“I promised my aunt I would get you home safely, and I’m a man of my word. I’ll pay the cab driver.”
The butterflies were going nuts in her stomach. She had to admit, she was thrilled that he followed her. But if anything, that depressed her even more. She had to get away from him. She quickly walked up to her door, hoping to get inside before he was done, but he was behind her in a matter of seconds while she stood there shaking, trying to get the key into the lock, all the while balancing her umbrella. She stopped and turned.
She put out her hand as if to stop him. “Jeremy, please. You don’t understand,” she said pleadingly.
Now that she was under the light above her front door, he must’ve noticed she’d been crying, because his face took on a tender and concerned look. He reached his hand up to cup her face. “Then make me understand,” he whispered. He continued. “It’s close to one o’clock in the morning, it’s pouring outside and you’re shaking like a leaf. Open the door, Ryann. Now.”
“God, you’re such a … grrr. I don’t want you to come in, Jeremy. It’s only going to make matters more complicated.”
“I won’t stay long. I want to make sure you get in safely, and that you’re alright... and I’m not taking no for an answer. So,” he took the keys from her hand, and unlocked the door. “After you.”
It was so obvious he was used to getting what he wanted. The man was tenacious, like a pit bull that had something between its teeth. As long as that something wasn’t her heart, she’d survive this.
She let out an exasperated sigh, and walked into the house, stepping around boxes in the process, and leaving her umbrella on the floor to dry.
Jeremy closed the door, quickly glanced around, then zeroed in on her. They were cocooned in the darkened foyer. The calming effect of the rain hitting the roof was at odds with the electricity humming between them.
“You’re moving.”
She nodded.
“Is that why you left in such a hurry? Because you’re leaving the area and we wouldn’t have time to explore what this is?”
She looked down, sighed, and then met his penetrating gaze. He looked upset. And hurt.
She steeled herself. “Jeremy, although I appreciate you following me home to make sure I got here safely, it really was a wasted trip.”
He continued as if she hadn’t spoken at all. “When are you moving?”
She sighed. “On Sunday.”
“Where to?”
She hesitated, then said wryly, “I’m moving…into the City.”
He raised an eyebrow, and looked relieved…then he smiled his sexy smile, amused, smug. “You’re moving from New Jersey into the City? How interesting.”
She allowed herself a small smile, then turned serious again, remembering the reason for the conversation.
He apparently remembered as well. “Tell me why you left me, Ryann.”
He was going to find out eventually, so she might as well tell him.
“You’re the new Vice Chairperson at the Manhattan Institute for Art and Design.”
He nodded, then frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“I’m moving into the City in two days to be closer to the Institute because I have a summer internship there.” She let it sink in before she continued. “Because I’m hoping to be hired there in the fall while I continue with my thesis.”
She watched for his reaction. He continued to look at her, then slowly nodded his head. Tension seemed to be leaving his face. “You’re leaving the Academy?”
“I’m handing in my resignation at the end of the summer. I wanted to see how the internship went first.” Then she added, “And no one from the Academy knows, so if you could withhold mentioning that to your aunt, I would appreciate it.”
He looked vaguely insulted. “Of course.”
She bit her lip nervously. What was he thinking? She couldn’t tell by his expression.
Then he slowly began to stalk toward her, stopping within a foot of her.
“That’s why you left? You anticipated there would be an ethical conflict, and we would never be able to follow through with this.” His finger waved between them.
Trying to gain the upper hand, she said, “I left because it was time for me to leave. I told you I didn’t need a ride home. You just chose not to listen.”
“That’s not why you left,” he said quietly.
She didn’t want to hear this. Her heart began to beat faster.
“Of course not,” she said with an eye roll. “Because you know everything, don’t you, Jeremy? Well, if you want to live in some delusional world reinforcing the belief that all women f
ind you absolutely irresistible with your chiseled good looks, then that’s fine, but I’m not living in that world with you.”
There. That told him.
He smiled his lazy smile, and began to walk closer, crowding her space. She just admitted that she thought he had chiseled good looks. Shit.
When he was a breath away, he turned serious. “You left because you’re scared.”
That struck a chord, and immediately put her on the defense. She sputtered. “You are such an arrogant, conceited, son of a –”
He interrupted and continued in a calm voice. “You’re scared because you haven’t been in a relationship for a while and you’re wondering if you can find passion again.”
He shifted toward her even more. Her back to the wall, literally and figuratively.
Quietly and intensely, he said, “Passion that makes your heart race, your blood flow hot. Passion that makes you so wet, you can’t think of anything else other than relieving that beautiful tension which builds as a result of that arousal. You want that feeling to go on and on, because it makes you feel so alive.” He cupped her face. “You’re alive, Ryann. Don’t you want to feel that passion again?”
She was momentarily overwhelmed by emotion. She was angry, but the loneliness that had sunk its claws into her caused her to blink back tears, because what he had said was so spot on. At the same time, she was mortified that he brought her vulnerability to the surface.
She began to panic, and broke eye contact, looking around for an escape, but he had her so close, there was nowhere to go.
Knowing her face was flushed, she said furiously, “It’s time for you to leave, Mr. McCallister. You’ve done your good deed for the day. I’m safely home, so you can go now.”
She was breathing heavily, and could feel her just barely holding on to her emotion.
“Don’t worry, I’m leaving.” Pause. “And I’m so glad you explained everything to me,” he purred.
His sarcasm didn’t amuse her. She let go of the breath she had been holding for the past few moments. Why wasn’t he leaving then? She was about to say, “Good”, when he spoke again.
“Fortunately, my position doesn’t go into effect until Monday.” He crowded her even more until she could feel his body heat, smell his scent, and he was lightly pressing her to the wall. His left arm came up to cage her in, so his elbow was resting above her shoulder, his fingers beginning to toy with her hair. His right hand slowly stroked up her arm, then ended at the base of her neck. He grabbed the hair there and tugged gently back until her face tilted up to him, all while he leaned his hips into the notch where her thighs met, nestling her womanhood. “So, tonight, I’m going to allow myself a taste…since you’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t live in that delusional world where women find me irresistible. This can’t go anywhere anyway…right?” he whispered.
She was so mesmerized by his scent, his closeness, his touch…she couldn’t move.
He leaned down and ran his tongue softly along her bottom lip. When she let out a shaky breath, he took full advantage and lightly nibbled at her lower lip, plucking, then melding his lips to hers. His tongue dipped into her mouth and began to swirl around, his lips eating at hers.
She could feel herself turning to mush. The fire of arousal that had been banked during the cab ride, flared into a conflagration.
“Mmm,” he murmured when he came up for air. Within a second, he swooped back in again, this time devouring her mouth, tugging more forcefully at her hair, while the arm that caged her to the wall ran down the side of her body then snaked around her waist and pulled her even more snugly to his erection. All the while, he continued to change the angle of his kiss, not allowing her to breathe.
Sucking. Nibbling. Consuming her. She couldn’t think one coherent thought.
He began to slowly grind his hips at the exact pressure point that, if continued, would lead to her coming right then and there. Her breath hitched while she spiraled out of control, gasping, then winding her arms around his neck and anchoring her fingers in his soft hair. She instinctively began to grind herself into his erection and could feel herself getting close. God, he felt so good.
As if sensing she was about to come, he reached his left hand down to knead her ass, while his other hand found her breast. He flicked his thumb over her hardened nipple and began plucking it, pinching. Then he moved both hands to her ass, kneading with both hands. While continuing to kiss her, he bent his legs, reached down for the hem of her skirt and began lifting it up.
One hand met the flesh of her thigh, then her ass cheek, and when he reached around from behind, he found her very wet thong. She was burning for him.
She was so overcome with sensations, she didn’t register the ramifications of what was happening. She just wanted to feel.
His finger moved the thong aside, and slid between her folds. Ryann gasped into his mouth. So close. She was so close. God, she didn’t think she could stop herself.
He held his finger at her opening, inserting only the tip, massaging her there, while he held her tight against him, grinding into her clit. His other hand reached up to her breast, and began squeezing.
She could hear her own gasps. She was almost there.
His mouth left hers, and he nuzzled her ear saying, “Reach for it, Ryann. Come on, baby. Come for me.”
He continued to grind into her, then finding her nipple, he pinched. And with a loud whimper, she came with a keening groan…and soared over the edge.
…..
They were both breathing heavily when she came down from her explosive climax. He continued to press her to the wall, which was a good thing, because she was seriously close to falling over.
He still held her to the wall with his hips, nibbling at her mouth, then staring intently into her eyes.
She tried to push him away, but he held her fast.
He inhaled at her neck. “God, you smell so good,” he said quietly through gritted teeth. He ground his erection into her one last time, then slowly he removed his hand from underneath her skirt, pulling the hem down.
“I’m so glad we’ve proven that you don’t find me irresistible.” He moved his upper body away from her, and she felt the loss, her face burning with embarrassment. He took her face in his hands and looked at her.
She must’ve been 50 shades of red, forget grey, because she could feel the prickling heat in her face. He had barely touched her, and she had gone off like a firecracker.
And he had just proven her wrong. God, she was so mortified.
She looked away from his stare, feeling like an inexperienced and desperate woman. Before she could spend any more time mentally castigating herself, the smell of her arousal on his fingers cupping her face registered in her brain, and she began to struggle in earnest.
He held her face even firmer, shaking it slightly to get her to look at him, and held her still with his hips.
“Wait.”
She stilled. She tried to calm her breath, and looked away. He held her face, re-directing her eyes back to him.
“I’m leaving, but before I go, I want you to remember two things.” Pause. “This,” he lifted the finger that had been inside her, and put it in his mouth, sucking…his eyes glittering with lust. When he removed his finger from his mouth, he licked his lips as if he had just enjoyed a tasty treat.
God, why was he doing this to her?
His eyes were so hot on her face, she felt herself burning up.
“And this,” he took her hand and cupped it over his cock. She tried to move it away, but he held it there, squeezing his hand on top of hers.
“When I want something badly enough, I go after it, regardless of the obstacles in my way. Whatever this is, Ryann? It’s there and it’s real.” Pause. “So,” he ground himself into her hand one last time, and said huskily, “consider yourself warned.”
She started shaking her head, when he leaned in and softly bit her lower lip, then sucked on it, relieving the sting.
>
She nearly climaxed again.
He then turned and walked to the door. Before it latched behind him, he gave her a pointed look, and said, “Lock up behind me,” then his mouth kicked up into his lazy grin and he winked, walking out the door.
She slid down the wall into a puddle on the floor, then covered her face.
He was right. When he winked at her, she didn’t want to control her urges.
Chapter 9
It took Ryann a good hour to fall asleep that night…or that morning, depending on how you looked at it. She finally had to move the picture of Brent off the nightstand. She found she kept staring at it, mentally begging his forgiveness because she felt as if she’d cheated on him.
Of course, she hadn’t. She knew that. Her rational side kept telling her that, and she knew she would get through this first initiation back into the real world. But she couldn’t seem to convince her heart. She hadn’t been kissed by another man since Brent. Could she even describe what happened between her and Jeremy a “kiss”? It was like no other moment she had ever experienced in her life with Brent. Perhaps that’s what made her feel so guilty. And worried.
Guilty, because she felt like she was betraying Brent’s memory. She hadn’t meant to compare Brent to Jeremy, but considering she didn’t have a wide range of experience with different men, there wasn’t really anyone else with whom she could compare him.
Worried, because Jeremy made her feel something in such an extreme way, and it was so completely beyond the sexual feelings she had ever felt with Brent. Jeremy talked dirty to her, explicitly describing what he wanted to do to her, it made her feel so… sexy… naughty… so turned on. One night with Jeremy had been more erotic than the five years she had spent with Brent.
And that was the problem. It killed a piece of her.
She sighed and punched the pillow. Eventually, she fell asleep, dreaming of chocolate... and green eyes.
Release (Iris Series) Page 6