This Fierce Splendor

by Iris Johansen

  “Get out.” Silver took a step toward him. “Now.”

  He took one look at her face and bolted out the door.

  “The wages of sin,” Silver repeated in disgust. “Everyone in town knows he spends every Saturday night over at Rina’s.” Elspeth’s bewildered expression caused Silver to frown. “Did his words hurt you?” She crossed the room and set the tray on the nightstand beside the bed before she turned to face Elspeth. “He’s a fool and a coward. He dared to speak to you in that way because he knew Dominic would be at the Nugget all afternoon. He probably hopes you will not tell Dominic of his rudeness to you.” She smiled with infinite pleasure as she plucked the napkin from the tray. “I will enjoy very much watching Dominic kill him.”

  “No!” Elspeth’s eyes widened in horror. “He wouldn’t!”

  Silver gazed at her in surprise. “Of course he will. You are his woman.” She tucked the napkin into the collar of Elspeth’s white cotton nightgown and handed her the small bowl of stew and a spoon. “Now eat and forget about the stupid man.”

  “I feel shamed.” Elspeth smiled shakily. “I didn’t think I’d feel this way. It shouldn’t matter what other people think of me. I thought I was strong enough to ignore …” She blinked rapidly to rid her eyes of tears that were welling helplessly. “I suppose this means I’m a fallen woman now, at least in the opinion of everyone in Hell’s Bluff. I wish I were like you, Silver. It would be easier if I could just ignore this.”

  Silver shook her head. “You never learn to ignore it,” she said softly. “You do learn to accept and to deal with it. In many ways you are luckier than I, because you can go away and no one will know what happened here. I am what I am, wherever I go.” She lifted her head proudly. “And I would not change it. I am Silver Dove Delaney. I will show the world that a half-breed can be the best of both worlds. You will see.”

  “I see now,” Elspeth said gently. “I admire you very much, Silver. I wish you could share a little of your bravery with me.”

  “You need none of my courage. You grow stronger and braver every day.” She tapped the bowl with her index finger. “Now eat and forget that fool. Dominic will tend to him when he returns.”

  Elspeth obediently took a bite of the rabbit stew. “I don’t want you to speak to Dominic about this. I’ll not have blood spilled because of me.”

  Silver frowned. “But Dominic should—”

  “No, Silver.” Elspeth’s voice rang with firmness. “I won’t have it.”

  Silver stared at her determined face for a moment before lowering her eyes. “No blood will be spilled, I promise you. Now, eat your stew, Dominic shot the rabbit and I cooked it. Your duty is only to eat.”

  Elspeth smiled. “You’ve both been very good to me. I’m sorry I’ve been so slow in recovering. I’m usually very healthy.”

  “You will be well soon.” A sudden grin lit Silver’s face. “Your voice is already much stronger. I heard you shouting at that fool, Judkins, halfway down the stairs.” She looked at the flower pattern of the patchwork quilt covering Elspeth’s lap and murmured, “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  Silver didn’t take her gaze from the blanket and her voice was low. “For defending me, for saying I am kind. I am not kind, you know.”

  Elspeth felt a quick rush of affection. “You’ve been very good to me. How can you say you’re not kind?”

  “I cared for you first because I wished to please Patrick and Dominic. In spite of what the old man says, they are my blood.” Her index finger began tracing the pattern of the quilt. “And then it was pride. I wanted you well so that I could point at you and say ‘I did that. Apache or Delaney, I am the one who healed her.’ ”

  “And now?”

  “I think we are friends,” she said shyly. “I’ve never had a friend besides Rising Star. It feels very strange.”

  “Yes.” It felt strange to Elspeth as well. She, too, had suffered an isolated and lonely childhood, and friendship was as foreign to her as to this wild child who was stubbornly refusing now to look at her. Yet this companionable warmth and affection must be friendship. “Yes, I believe you’re right. I think we are friends, Silver.”

  Silver released her breath, and Elspeth only then realized the younger girl had been holding it. She glanced up and smiled with a brilliance that lit her dark face with warmth, and Elspeth received a small shock. Why, Silver was beautiful! She had always been aware of the vitality and intensity that swirled around the Indian girl like tempest-driven clouds, but she had never realized that Silver was also quite lovely.

  “Now, I had better leave and let you eat.” Silver stood up. “I must not have my friend fading away from lack of nourishment. Who knows when I will find another one?”

  She didn’t wait for an answer but glided from the room. The door closed softly behind her.

  Elspeth slowly finished the stew and put the bowl and spoon back on the tray on the nightstand. Then she lay back wearily on the pillows and closed her eyes. How foolish that she should feel so weak when only this morning she had been sure she was almost well. Each of Judkins’s words had been like separate blows, robbing her of strength. It made no difference if he thought she was a hetaera like the lovely brown-haired Rina, who had peered over the banisters the morning that now seemed so long ago. She was a scholar and explorer, and what the world thought had no meaning for her. When she was a little stronger, she would ask Silver to get Dominic to come and see her. They would talk. She would soon bring him around, and they would be on their way to Kantalan.

  She hadn’t seen him since the night he had brought her back to Hell’s Bluff, but Silver had made a point of telling her he was staying at the hotel instead of at Rina’s. For some reason that knowledge had given her an odd sense of relief. Not that it mattered to her where he slept, she assured herself quickly. Silver had said he had been the one to comfort her during the time when her mind had been clouded with feverish dreams and visions. So perhaps because of that she felt safer with him close at hand.

  Yes, that must be it. She breathed a sigh of relief at being able to find such a satisfactory explanation. She settled down for her afternoon nap, being very careful not to recall that she had never once, since the moment she had met Dominic Delaney, felt either safe or secure in his presence.

  “The hypocritical son of a bitch.” Dominic’s lips thinned grimly. “I should have known he would try to sneak up and worry her. He’s been whining and caterwaulling since the night I brought Elspeth here.” He started to turn away. “I’ll take care of it.”

  “You will do nothing.”

  Dominic’s gaze flashed back to Silver. “The hell I won’t. I promised her she would be safe and comfortable here. I’ve already broken my promise by letting that bastard get to her with his mealy-mouthed preachings. I’m going to make damn certain it won’t happen again.”

  “I promised her no blood would be spilled.” She smiled faintly. “However, I did not promise not to tell you the man is becoming a problem. If you add your threats to mine, it should be enough to stop him from speaking to her again. In a few days she will be stronger and we can move her to a place where she will not have to face these insults.”

  “And where is that?” Dominic asked bitterly. “Nowhere in Hell’s Bluff.”

  “We will worry about that when the time comes.” Silver paused. “She asked to see you. She will no doubt tell you she wishes to leave.”

  “No doubt at all.” Dominic could feel the tension stiffening the muscles of his shoulders and neck. He didn’t want to see her. He had been in a fever for her since the night he had brought her here, and he had no desire to feed his madness. He had not touched her that night, but he might just as well have done so. His imagery had been so clear and detailed, he felt as if he had taken her in a hundred exotic and erotic ways, and, dammit, he wanted to do it again and again, until reality and imagination became one fiery entity of satiation. What the hell kind of satyr did that make him? It was his
fault she was both wounded and helpless, and yet he wanted to take advantage of her weakness. He had tried desperately to revive the tenderness and pity he had known when she was lying ill, but all he could remember was the feel of her. She was no longer his child, she was a woman and he could think of her in no other guise.

  “Well?” Silver was looking at him inquiringly. “Will you see her? She is very determined. I think she will come to you if you do not go to her.”

  “It would be better if I didn’t.”

  Silver’s brow arched. “You fear to blacken her reputation? She has none. You have seen to that.”

  Dominic flinched. “I can always count on you to wield the knife. This time you’re quite right, of course. I’ve seen to it that she has no good name left to blacken more. And that’s all the more reason not to rob her of anything else.”

  She studied him. “You are saying you haven’t bedded her yet. I find that very strange. It is clear you have a great hunger for her, and you are white.”

  “Not all white men take everything they hunger for.”

  “My father did.” Silver smiled bitterly. “And I think you intended to take Elspeth also, did you not?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then do not tell me white men do not take what they want.” She paused. “But there is something you should know. Elspeth is now my friend. I will not let you bed her unless she desires it also.” Her smile was a mere baring of even white teeth. “Go to see her. The memory of my little knife and my threat to plunge it into your back will make certain you rob her of nothing more than a few moments of her day.”

  Dominic experienced a niggling resentment, mixed with relief and amusement. He had brought Silver here to act as a guardian for Elspeth, but he had never thought she would be guarded from himself. Yet who in Hell’s Bluff was a greater danger to her? he wondered grimly. “All right, you little cougar cub, I’ll see her.” He turned and began climbing the stairs. “Just keep your knife out of my hide until you see it’s needed.”

  The moment he saw Elspeth standing by the window looking down at the street below, he knew he would have to keep the memory of Silver’s little knife in the forefront of his mind. She was dressed in a prim dark blue flannel robe that completely enveloped her tiny figure. The garment was utilitarian and uninspiring and should not have evoked anything but boredom in any observer. Yet all he could think was how light and silky her hair appeared against the dark material, and that the very shaplessness of the garment reminded him of the delicacy of the curves it concealed.

  She turned as he walked through the doorway and for a moment the faintest color touched her cheeks. She was wearing those damn spectacles again, he noticed. It was the first time she had put them on since he had removed them that night at the cabin; she wore them now, he was sure, as a mask to hide behind. Judkins, he thought with a swift flare of anger. The bastard had upset her and the glasses were a first line of defense.

  She smiled tentatively. “Thank you for coming; I felt I had to see you.”

  He closed the door behind him and then immediately wished he had left it open. The air of intimacy in the small room was suddenly overpowering. He cleared his throat. “Should you be out of bed?”

  “Oh, yes, I get up a little while each day now. I’m much stronger. Soon I’ll be entirely well.” She moistened her lower lip with her tongue and he watched her in helpless fascination, feeling the familiar swelling in his loins. That little pink tongue had been one of the objects of his imaginings on the long ride to Hell’s Bluff. Now he could almost feel its warm moistness on his body.

  “That’s what I wanted to discuss with you,” she continued a little breathlessly. “There’s really no reason for me to stay here any longer. It’s costing me far too much money and I’d be just as happy to return to the cabin.” She moistened her lips again. “Far happier really. I’m sure the fresh air will be much healthier for me than— What are you looking at?” She touched her cheek with uncertain fingertips. “Do I have a smudge on my face?”

  With an effort he pulled his gaze away. Lord, he had to get out of here. “No, I was just thinking how much better you were looking than the last time I saw you.” He tried to focus his thoughts on what she was saying. “The money doesn’t matter. I can make enough at the Nugget to pay for our expenses. We’ll stay here until you’re well.”

  Her eyes widened in distress. “But I really think—”

  “Then don’t think,” he interrupted with sudden harshness. “Look, Judkins won’t trouble you anymore. I know I broke my promise, but you can rely on me to see that no one else will bother you again until you’re ready to leave.”

  “Silver told you.” Elspeth frowned. “She wasn’t supposed to. What do you mean, he won’t trouble me? You haven’t—”

  “Killed him?” Dominic asked. “No, and it won’t come to that. Threats work as well as violence with some men.” He smiled bitterly. “In spite of what you may have heard, I consider it very serious indeed to take a life.”

  “But I have no right to stay here. Mr. Judkins owns the hotel, and he’s quite correct in saying he decides who stays here.”

  “And just where do you suggest I take you? Rina’s? That would really put a proper icing on the cake.”

  “No, I told you, the cabin will do just fine.”

  His gaze swung back to her face. “We’d be too alone there,” he said bluntly. “There would come a time when Silver would go for a walk or a ride, when there would be no threat of her little knife, when I’d forget how you looked when you were lying at the bottom of that gorge.”

  She was gazing at him in bewilderment. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I think you’re about to find out.” He was walking toward her, his light eyes intent on her face. “Do you remember what I did to you before you fell that night?”

  “Yes.” Her voice was only a level above a whisper.

  He was so close now he could catch the faint floral scent that clung to her hair and see the delicate shadows in the hollows at her throat above the collar of the cotton nightgown: “I would do it again.”

  “You would ravish me?”

  “Oh, dear Lord, I hope not.” He reached out to touch the rapid pulse throbbing just below her chin. He knew a wild excitement as he felt the leaping response beneath the pad of his fingertips. Such a little thing and yet he felt a whiplash of heat add dimension to his manhood. “But I most certainly would try to seduce you.” His fingers moved to touch the wire rim of her spectacles. “Why are you wearing these again?”

  The pink in her cheeks deepened. “I told you I needed them.”

  “Yes, I remember you said so.” His thumb moved to the sensitive spot just behind her ear and began to slowly rub it.

  “I do need them. Besides, they can take nothing away from my looks.”

  “By all means, wear the spectacles. I think I like the idea of being the only man who knows what’s behind them.”

  Exasperation and pity fought for dominance within him. Why did she persist in thinking herself so plain that men didn’t want her? Her blindness to her beauty was not only idiotic, but dangerous. Yet it was a blindness he could now partially understand. The bits and pieces of her childhood she had revealed while she was feverish had drawn for him a very clear picture of her father. He held her to impossible standards while denigrating her completely; it was astonishing she had emerged with any confidence in herself as either an individual or a female.

  “Your spectacles are like the veils those harem ladies wear.” He tugged gently on the lobe of her ear. “But you should remember that the primary pleasure of any barrier to a man is removing it.” The nail of his thumb pressed into her ear lobe with just enough pressure to tease without hurting. He could see the sudden leap of her pulse beneath the delicate blue veins at her temple. “I’m very fond of removing barriers.”

  Elspeth had a fleeting, disjointed memory of her disrobing the night she had fallen into the gorge. She swallowed. “Are you tr
ying to seduce me now?”

  “You bet I am.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s the way of a man with a woman.”

  She tilted her head and her eyes lit with the curiosity he now recognized as one of her more salient qualities. “Any woman?”

  “No, not—” He broke off as he realized suddenly the denial sprang from a knowledge he had refused to admit even to himself. Now he comprehended the full extent of the sway she held over his emotions. He wanted no one but Elspeth. The realization sent a ripple of shock through him, quickly followed by defensive anger. He couldn’t have Elspeth. And, when she was gone, would he be able to want another woman? The witch was damn near emasculating him. This madness had to stop. His hand dropped from her ear and he said with deliberate coolness, “All cats are gray in the dark.”

  She flinched as waves of shock and hurt swept over her. Then she lifted her chin proudly. “Thank you for explaining that to me. I think you’re right about staying here in Hell’s Bluff. I don’t believe I’m a person who would like being mistaken for someone else, even in the dark.” The flush tinging her cheeks had become scarlet. “And I certainly have no wish to be alone with you.”

  He felt unreasonably irritated. “You’ve forgotten about Kantalan,” he drawled. “You were willing enough to do anything for me, with me, if I would take you to your precious Kantalan. Perhaps I was too hasty in refusing you; perhaps we could come to an … arrangement. Have you changed your mind?”

  She was gazing at him with a look of utter confusion. “You have no intention of taking me to Kantalan. I think you’re trying to hurt me, to shame me. Why are you doing this?”

  He was trying to hurt her. He was using her childhood dream to hit back at her for the rage and frustration he was experiencing at the discovery that had rocked him to his bootheels.