Votel got nervous and split while Ernie went home to whack off. This left Cupkake and Liz-Bone which was always a recipe for fun. As I lay in bed, I heard them bungle into the bathroom to a bunch of mumbling and murmuring. Then to my surprise I heard my electric shaver fire up and the buzzing let me know exactly what they were doing. I heard Cupkake laughing and giving Liz-Bone some advice. Now the bathroom was immediately next door to the bathroom so we heard it all.
I believe that was the same weekend where like a stupid ass, I let Barbie stay in the apartment while I went to work. She rummaged through my shit and found pics of Leslie, so she burnt out her eyes with a match a left them up on the toilet so I could see her handywork. What did she think was going to happen after that? Well at that point, she was at her wits end and I think that was her last weekend at El Cerrito. About six months later she called me up on Thanksgiving to wish me a “Happy Turkey Day”. It sounded so heartfelt that I almost felt like crying for a second. Barbie loved the sun and the last image I have of her was lying naked on my bed in the morning sun with a smile on her sleeping face.
MTV Rules the world -Vinnie Vegas
The 80’s was a very unique point in time for various reasons. First of all, music seemed to rule the world in a way that hadn’t been seen since the 50’s. It was everywhere, in fashion, in the workplace, and especially on TV. The entire idea of a music video was brand-new and exciting, and everybody was riveted to MTV. Indeed, MTV ruled the world, and in the last half of the 80’s Heavy Metal/Glam Rock completely ruled MTV, and there really wasn’t anything else going on musically beside the birth of U2. Oh sure, they’d play a Peter Gabriel or David Bowie video now and then, but then you’d yell at the TV “This sucks... change it! Change it!” like Bevis & Butthead, which is the reason that cartoon was so funny in the first place. Bands like Iron Maiden and Def Leppard introduced America to the metal video, which opened the door for bands like Ratt and Poison a few years later. After that, all eyes were on Hollywood and the new LA Heavy Metal/Glam Rock sound. Soon MTV was filled with big-haired guys making pouty faces while flipping their hair. I recently saw an old Whitesnake video and started laughing at the flip-off going on between Steve Vai and Rudy Sarzo. Since I’ve worked in the entertainment field, I know that the editor was to blame for that. But Whitesnake were the undisputed kings of the video hair-flip for sure, and MTV ate it up. Whitesnake had the same toned down look that other non-LA bands like White Lion had. Tame by 80’s standards, they lacked the sleaze factor that Hollywood bands were famous for. Both styles of bands ruled the airwaves and helped resurrect veteran bands such as Alice Cooper, KISS and Aerosmith. Now in the case of Whitesnake, David Coverdale actually decided to come across the pond to LA to form his new version of Whitesnake after seeing the bands on MTV. He transformed his band from seasoned blues players to the epitome of the Glam/Metal video gods. But as MTV was showcasing these stylized video stars, the look on the streets of Hollywood remained as sleazy and scrappy as ever. Keepin’ it real!
The reason I referred to the music as “Heavy Metal/Glam Rock” is because back then, there really wasn’t much of a distinction between the two like there is now. Go ahead and search for early photos of Pantera or Anthrax and you’ll see what I mean. But you know, like the 50’s, there was a real air of innocence that’s hard to define. This was before anybody heard of aids or drive-by shootings, and war was the furthest thing from anybody’s mind. We poofed up our hair and tucked our jeans into our boots. The songs had no hint of political statements, instead the topic was always partying, girls, or partying with girls. The times were fairly prosperous and everybody seemed to have plenty of money to spend on clothes and concerts. And if anybody out there actually remembers the 80’s, you remember that Hollywood was king and everybody wanted to be there. Even if it was only for a vacation, rockers made the trek to Hollywood with all the devotion of the faithful making a pilgrimage to Mecca. And those who made the pilgrimage, returned with sage knowledge of exactly what was going on, and how it was being done. And hopefully plenty of stories of debauchery and mayhem, with some sexcapades thrown in. So with all this, you can imagine how fun it would have been to actually live in Hollywood.This was a time that was short-lived, but an absolute blast to be a part of. The scene was not planned out and therefore can never be repeated. I guess it was a combination of the right place at the right time that created a rainbow of fun. Apparently these rainbows occur every 30 years so with that being said, I looks like were due for another! There was no danger, we didn’t have to roll with posses or have each other’s backs because there was no reason to. Girls were fun, friendly, and into fun which made life a sweet surprise indeed. We cranked the music loud and partied till 4 am on work nights, and nobody was worried about losing their homes or jobs. In LA, we wore our rock regalia to work and nobody batted an eye. That’s how ingrained music was into our lives back then. Long hair and flashy clothes were completely normal in the 80’s and fun was the number one objective. Hollywood was the capital and they guys and girls had a look that was king. Somehow the people had a look that was natural and non-contrived, which made you “LA”. In places like San Diego, these people stood out among the fashion challenged whose hap-hazzard outfits sometimes looked forced and out of place. Of course with San Diego’s little-sister complex, LA people were looked upon with a bizarre combination of admiration and disdain. The ironic part is that everybody in LA is from somewhere else. Indeed, the notion of “native LA” is so foreign that it just doesn’t exist. There’s actually a weird unspoken policy that dictates that if you’ve been in LA for over 3 years, then you are native. Like I said, if you live in LA for long enough, you become LA. Some guys would come out from the mid-west with the frilled Bon-Jovi look to their outfits and look like geeks for a few weeks. I saw a few actually go out in public wearing deer-skin boots! But soon the frills would be gone and after six months, you’d never know the guy was from Illinois. After you become LA, it stays with you forever and you never tuck in your shirt or wear socks with shorts again.
The Search Begins -Vinnie Vegas
The summer was almost over and I still hadn’t found a band yet. I had been on countless auditions with all sorts of adventures attached, but I was having trouble finding a band that was even halfway decent. Out of idleness, I started playing with a guitarist and a singer who were going to call themselves “Tickled Pink”, which I absolutely hated. The guitarist was named Stephan and he was from Mexico and spoke with the most stereotypical accent you could imagine. He looked like a Latino Rob Schneider from Duece Bigalow and was possibly one of the horniest guys I ever met. Of course looking like Rob Schneider meant you got no pussy, so he always yearned for trim but never got it.The guys were average players, and honestly I didn’t see this band
heading anywhere, but I wasn’t doing anything at the time so I played with them for a couple of months. Stephan was friends with another band, so he arranged for us to share their rehearsal studio, and their drummer filled in until we could find our own. This guy looked like an ugly Jesus without the beard, and really big Marty Feldman eyes. We played with him a couple of times until a big brouhaha erupted. You see, back in San Diego, I wrote a song with Point Blank that was built around a distinctive guitar riff. I decided to show it to Stephan so we could use it in one of our songs. As it turned out, the other band used a riff that was almost identical in one of their songs. Now I always thought that by the time I was in my 20’s, we’d all be grown up and solve issues by debate or discussion. The other band had an issue with the fact that my riff was identical to theirs, and it hit a sore spot. Honestly, if you used your brain, you’d know that since I never met the guys it must be a coincidence that our riffs were so alike. But they saw it as a frontal attack on the future of their band which actually was a typical mind-frame for the time.
Once we played the song, the drummer put down his sticks and informed us that he couldn’t go on anymore if we continued to play that song. I thought it was stu
pid, but respected his decision. At that point I told Stephan that it was obvious to me that we’d simply need to find our own drummer without issues so we may as well pack it up for the night. Now I don’t know how things escalated so quickly because as far as I knew, this was the first time the drummer heard the song. All I can figure is that Stephan must’ve heard the guys play their version and said something about my riff. And I guess after we decided to quit, Jesus must have ran down to the phone and called the other dudes. All I know is that by the time I got to my car, I was confronted by 4 guys in the middle of the street. You see, that was a mind-set as well back in those days. If the leader of a band had a beef for whatever reason with somebody, it became a band issue. Even if it didn’t have anything to do with music or the other guys. I was confronted with this mindset a few times in my future band Hooligan Stew but refused to go along with it because I was insubordinate. Indeed, there were so many issues like this that had nothing to do with music at all, that it left me disenfranchised with bands altogether later. I’ve seen the same mindset in baseball where if somebody gets in a tussle, the entire bench is obligated to run out on the field. Just another reason why baseball sucks and football rules!
So their singer gets in my face and tells me “If you want a band-war, then you got one!” At that point, the scruff was on. Now mind you, what the hell is a band-war? Is there even such a thing? If so, I never heard of one, but that’s what us guys do. We might make up words in the heat of the moment which we later realize were stupid, It’s like somebody calling you a piss-hole in a fight. It comes out more funny than it is insulting, but whatever. The fight was on and I could not believe that 6 years after high school, I was in a fight!
Now I made it through 12 years of school without getting into any fights, but somehow by moving to Hollywood, I found myself in more fights than a grown adult should be involved in. One time this black guy with no shirt walked up to me on Hollywood Blvd. in broad daylight and threw a roundhouse kick at me for no reason. Luckily for me it barely missed my face but it knocked the sunglasses off my head. I backed into him, spin around and unleashed three blows at the guy. He backed up, raised his hands up and said “Hey, it’s cool” and walked away. I didn’t even know the guy! Another time there was a big brouhaha backstage at FM station with Royal and his cronies but that was my fault. I broke my bass then decided to smash it in a drunken fervor during a Hooligan Stew show. I tossed the remnants into the bass amp with my hands held high in triumph. Luckily, that was the last song and I received an ambush by the staff backstage the minute I walked in the room. It wasn’t really a slugfest as much as a hockey brawl. After all, us musicians were skinny fucks and had no business fighting to begin with.
Anyway, back in Hollywood, the singer rushed me and picked me up over his head like a WWF move and was going to hurl me down on the pavement. I remember him spinning me in the air and somehow I managed to roll off his hands so I landed on the hood of some poor saps car as opposed to the pavement. First off, this cushioned my fall, but honestly, I thought some pissed off guy would run out of his house and help me kick this guy’s ass. No such luck, as I said before, in LA it really takes a lot to get people up and moving and I guess this simply didn’t qualify. After that, I knew I had to come up with plan B quickly, so I simply tackled him in the street making sure I landed on him full force. I’m not a big guy, so I just held him in a head lock while he struggled. Eventually he got winded because he was out of shape and couldn’t continue the fight. Eventually, I let him up an he swore at me while brushing gravel and dirt off his skin. But that’s as far as the fight went and we all went home.
I was wearing all white that day so when I came home my clothes were dirty and my pants were torn. Cupkake looked at me with surprise and said, “What the fuck happened to you?” I believe I grunted something and popped a beer and Cupkake figured he’d just let that one go. The funniest part is that fact that 20 years later, neither of those songs saw the light of day. I believe that if this book makes any money, I will record the song and release it out of spite. The Taoist in me thinks that it’s a bad idea, but the author in me thinks it’s a done deal.
THE HOLLYWOOD SOUND - Vinnie Vegas
The “Hollywood sound” in the 80’s was very unique, and every band in LA subscribed to that model religiously. The sound also came with a look and style that was not deviated from as well. Any talk of straying from the norm was met with harshly, and might even get you tossed out of the band for suggesting such heresy. The lead guitarist and the lead singer always started out as the core of the band, and acted as the tightest of friends, forming an exclusive clique that everybody else had to be concerned with. It was always fun for me to observe the interactions in bands like a anthropologist. Guys on the lowest end of the hierarchy (the drummers were always the lowest) would have to do a monkey dance and other demeaning tasks to stay in the favor of the top dogs. These guys wielded huge power and used it with veiled threats of termination. Any hint of that would send the sub-ordinate immediately onto the floor belly-up in a sign of submission. And of course once that worked, it got worse as time went on. When things got rough, it was always these two “lead” musicians who turned on each other and formed rival bands. Each guy going out of his way to publicly trash and insinuate that the other was the jackass. Even big bands like Van Halen and Black Sabbath went through that crap.
The thing that made the SoCal sound so new and exciting was the metal edge. Like I said, all the guitarists were drawn to the metal licks of Iron Maiden so it could not be avoided. Bands were writing with the pop influence of Cheap Trick and The Sweet, and when you added the metal edge to it, the result was something that had never really been heard before. That edge added more energy and urgency to the blues-based chord patterns used in pop. The downside was that most of the new guitarists had no rhythm training so the second album usually fell flat on it’s face. This was called “The Sophomore Jinx” but wasn’t a jinx at all, it was a failure to learn fundamentals. But the “lead guitarist” genie was out of the bottle and grew so powerful that they almost always butted heads with the “lead singer”. Like “lead guitarist” the term “lead singer” was an ego-driven title that was actually an oxymoron because nobody else in the band could sing. The metal influence had driven any idea of harmonies out the window and at the time, nobody really wanted to hear any. Back-up vocals consisted of what we called “gang-bang” vocals which was basically guys shouting “Hey!” or “Rock” in unison. Admittedly that tactic worked great at the beginning, but by the late 80’s it had grown tired. So as guitarists never learned rhythm, vocalists never learned harmonies which lead to a huge hole that could not be filled in the end.
The Hollywood bands of the time were universal in their sound and appearance. Every song opened with a riff that was some sort of variation of “Looks That Kill” by Motley Crue. Two verses into a chorus that featured gang bang vocals shouting “ROCK!” or ROCK tonight! I wanna rock... ROCK! She wants rock candy...ROCK! Then came a breakdown before the big guitar solo and two choruses out. All lead guitar players had Charvel guitars and did the Warren DeMartini up-strum. The Charvel guitar let there be no doubt that you were indeed the “lead guitarist” and was a must-have prop at photo shoots. A sect of guys took this to a new level by having their photos taken with their strumming hand upside-down on the fretboard while making the “O” mouth surprised face. The bass player’s job was to head bang the most, and drummers made stupid faces all through the set climaxed by the “stand up and cup your ear” move. The only variation in the set was the obligatory power-ballad followed by the “we only got time for one more song” climax. We’d all finish with “Thank you, good night Hollywood!” as if we had been anywhere else! This became the de-facto template that stood firm until the bitter end. Nobody ever brought up the notion of adjusting or tweaking that model, and in the end we all paid the price.
The lead guitarist was a phenomenon that was unique to the 80’s metal scene. Having a
lead guitarist meant that the other guitarist was know as the “rhythm guitarist”. This position was actually more akin to an understudy position and he was always second dude to the lead. Now this also affected his choice of groupies as well, because the best ones went for the lead. This lead to a weird dynamic where it was almost embarrassing to admit that you were the rhythm guitarist. Indeed the rhythm guitarist was usually considered a guitarist who wasn’t good enough to play lead yet. Guys who considered themselves lead guitarists would throw insulted hissy fits if asked to play rhythm for a new band. I guess the ultimate insult was the wave of new guitarists like Cupkake who jumped immediately into the lead slot right out of high school without going through any of that rigmarole. In the 80’s, young kids were learning to play like Randy Rhoads within a year, and it wasn’t unusual to see some little tyke playing “Eruption” better than Eddie Van Halen. By the end of the ‘80s, the scene was flooded with smokin’ lead guitarists that had only been playing for a year or two. At one point, a lot of bands actually went out of their way to recruit lead guitarists who were 16 or younger and use that as a bragging point. This must have come as a bitter pill to swallow for older guys who suddenly found themselves obsolete. That was the danger of building your reputation on flashy leads that mesmerized the masses at first, but became so commonplace that 12 year olds were doing it. Should’ve learned those scales and rhythms! These guys had no choice but to invent the “tribute band” later on in their lives, and to this day, I see a lot of them strutting around playing songs that were old 20 years ago!
Hollywood: Rock Of Ages Page 23