PENIS THE CAT - Vinnie Vegas
There is a cat who has followed me around from city to city, he’s a dirty white cat and his name is Penis. Whenever I get a new apartment, he shows up eventually. He never showed up when I lived with Cupkake, but when I moved across the street, there he was. Penis roamed the halls of this haunted hotel and usually greeted me in the lobby when I came home. But he knew if I came home drunk, that I would be overly affectionate to my wandering cat and want to pick him up; which he hated. So he would hide and I’d be in the lobby yelling Peeenissssssss!..Peeenissssssss! It took me a while to clue in that yelling “Penis” at 2 am in the deathly quiet hotel was not very neighborly, as well as downright weird for a man to say, so I knocked it off.
Penis has always been independent and likes to come and go as he pleases, (hmmm...who does that sound like?) so we usually played a bit in the lobby until he lost interest and wandered off. (shaddup!) One night he trotted happily behind me with his tail sticking straight up in the air, down the hall to my apartment. This was unusual, and when I unlocked the door he bolted inside and hopped up on my bed. I opened up a can of 9-lives and poured a bit of milk for him and he went to town. That night he slept with me and I drifted off to the soothing sound of a purring contented cat. Until 2 am that is went I woke up to find him on top of my bass rig batting things around and knocking shit over. Playtime was over, and out in the hall he went.
There was a very old lady who lived upstairs, and she’d creak down every night to let her cat go outside. For some reason Penis hated that orange tabby and would hide behind the lobby couch any time he heard them coming. I guess this cat was incapable of remembering what happened the day before, because time after time, that cat would come down those stairs ahead of it’s owner, only to have Penis ambush it and kick it’s ass. The women would be yelling and waving her cane to no avail, and eventually Penis would back off and sit up high on the couch to scowl at the cat as he went by. This happened every night and sometimes I’d sit on the couch and wait for the action with a beer. The lady was so blind that she never saw me there. Penis is one hell of a cat!
Hooligan Stew begins to gig - Vinnie Vegas
We booked our first gig at a club in Santa Fe Springs which was not far from Downey. The place looked like a pizza joint with a small stage and some dining chairs in front. There was nobody there, but for a first gig, sometimes that’s not a bad thing. It was basically a dress rehearsal and it got us our first picture in Rock City News. In Rock City News, you always included your phone number in the ad. This was a double edged sword because while you could get chicks calling you, you could also get prank calls. I remember getting hassled by a band called “The Dwarves”. I think they were in town from San Francisco. The jist of the call was that we were a bunch of glam posers as opposed to The Dwarves who were a legit punk band on their way to infamy. Some guy with a Scottish accent spewed drunken insults on our machine at 2 in the morning. I thought it was funny and played it over and over. I had never heard of The Dwarves and to this day, I still haven’t heard of them. Our next gig was at Gazarri’s in Hollywood, and I have no idea how we landed that slot! Gazarri’s was a big thing in Hollywood while it lasted. Gazarri’s backstage was on a second story and when you came out the door onto the stage, you traversed down an ornate staircase like you were Kiss or something. Talk about feeling like a star! For that gig I decided to get ready at Ultra Pop’s apartment down the street and lost track of time. I didn’t think we’d go on right at 8 o’clock but when I got there at 7:55 everybody was in a tizzy wondering where I was. The stage manager pulled me up on stage and introduced the band. We started up and before I knew it, my first Hollywood gig was over in a flash. All the anticipation of the week was wasted and I really didn’t get a chance to enjoy the moment. I made sure I never did that again. To this day, almost compulsively, I arrive at gigs way before I need to be there. But now our first Hollywood gig was under our belt and nothing had exploded, plus nobody melted down. All in all, a success considering a lot of bands never survived their first Hollywood gig!
Once we played Gazaari’s, it was no problem to get a gig at The Whisky or the Roxy. After that show at Gazzarri’s, we basically played the strip exclusively. And why not? There was no other place to be, the strip was ground zero for Rock N Roll. Well, actually we played FM Station in The Valley a few times. That was our idea of touring; pack up the van and head to The Valley, a whole 6 exits up the 170! But the FM station was always packed and it was easy to get girls there, so we always had fun there. I remember there was a girl who worked there who I really had a big crush on. She was a blond girl with sleepy eyes who looked like a heavy-metal Jennifer Grey. She wore ripped up zebra stripe tank tops, a bandolero belt and the tightest leather pants tucked into high heeled boots. Her body was amazing and I could never keep my eyes off of her. Not only did she ignore me, but I’d swear she went OUT OF HER WAY to ignore me. WHY???!!! I never met her before so I couldn’t have done anything wrong. She absolutely would not give me the time of day. In the five years or so of going to the FM Station, not one iota of friendliness. Still kind of irks me. Allright... get over it... move on. Grrrrrrrrrrr.......
THE DEL MAR FAIR - Vinnie Vegas
Well, The Valley was not the only out of town place Hooligan Stew played. As a matter of fact, there were some festivals and fairs around Southern California that we made appearances at. One of my favorite places to play was in my hometown of San Diego. Every June they hold the Del Mar Fair at the racetrack by the sea. Where the turf meets the surf! The Del Mar fair is the place to be and the official kick off of Summer in San Diego. The fair is everything you expect from a fair. Cool rides, pretty girls and TONS of food. There’s no better place to be than San Diego on a warm Summer night and toss in the neon glow mixed with the roar of monster trucks and the whiff of cotton candy and you have paradise. As a kid, I’d go to the fair every year and buy velvet blacklight posters and Kiss belt buckles. I’d play the game where you’d pop balloons with darts to win little 6x6 mirrors with your favorite rock bands on them. I had NO idea those were for doing lines! How naive!
The Fair is famous for food on a stick; hot dog on a stick, teriyaki on a stick, pizza on a stick, calamari on a stick, giant pickle on a stick, corn on a stick, it goes on and on. The food is definitely the big attraction of the Fair, ask anyone in San Diego and they will agree. The best part of the fair was watching the various live bands playing on seven stages
scattered throughout the fair. Actually, I played my first gig there in 1984. To play the fair was a dream come true and I’ve played there in just about every band I’ve been with since. Anybody who’s ever played in a band can tell you that some clubs idea of what constitutes a stage can be quite erratic. So it makes you appreciate a real professional situation. The Del Mar Fair is at the top of this category. They transport you to your stage in electric golf carts and your equipment shows up minutes later. The stages are large with pro quality lighting rigs and PA systems. You have an attentive staff to assure that your gig goes off problem free. If I had to pick one moment of my life that I can say stands out above it all, it’s being on stage at the Del Mar Fair playing to a golden California sunset while ferris wheels careened in the distance. It doesn’t get any better. Oh wait... maybe it does.
Once I joined Hooligan Stew, I made sure that we played the fair every year. This was a close as we came to touring, and it helped build some character in the band as well as being a blast! Matt’s dad owned a printing shop, and I was a graphic artist, so we had big full color posters of the band. Throughout our show we’d pass out these posters to people as free souvenirs. At the end of the show, all these people swarmed the stage to have us sign the posters. What a true rock star moment! I remember my mom came to our show one year and brought along my grandmother. I’ve never seen her look so proud in her life it was quite the moment. Playing at the fair was always fun because we’d get a couple of rooms at the Motel 6 and it felt like we were a r
eal touring band. You know, I saw a lot of great bands at the fair, even big ones like Journey, All-American Rejects and Alice Cooper, and I liked the idea that I was able to give back something to Fair I love so much. Can’t wait for June!
One thing about Hooligan Stew that I really liked, is that somehow Matt had a fascination with kitschy stuff from the 60’s which I suppose explains our logo. So he liked to do cover versions of songs from groups like The Monkees, Elvis Pressly and Shaun Cassidy. It was always fun to see peoples reactions to this. The thing about the Fair is that it is not your typical audience. Usually your audience is there to see you or your style of music, but at the Fair, it’s a complete cross-section of people who just happened to be walking by at the time. We used to do a cover of Shaun Cassidy’s: “That’s Rock & Roll” which I never heard of before. But apparently of you were a teenie-bopper back in the day reading Tiger Beat magazine, the song was huge. It was fun to look out in the audience and see a bunch of now thirty-something moms dancing and singing along to the song. They were just as surprised as anyone to hear it, and ate it up!
ULTRA POP TOUR : Chicago, Illinois - Cupkake
I remember like it was yesterday pulling into the windy City of Chicago, Illinois. It was a really warm summer afternoon and the wind was at a constant, comfortable light breeze, and the sun was shining without any cloud in the sky. The air smelled good, not like most of the other cities we had visited over the past few month that had fowl, stale smells. We were scheduled to play a club called The Thirsty Whale, located in the suburbs of Chicago. We had heard lots of good things about the club, so we were excited to play. We had a few days off while we were in Chicago, which had good sides and bad sides. The good side; you got to relax and see the sights. The bad side; no money coming in, lots of money going out, and too much time to get into trouble.
Vince Votel had spent lots of time in Chicago a year prior to the tour. He had befriended a few girls while he was out there and Lizzie wanted to take advantage of the Chicago hospitality that could be provided by the woman. Vince was always very charming, so it took one short phone call and we were set up in the ladies apartment for our Chicago stay. We made it to the girls residence, somewhere in the suburbs of Chicago, not far from the Thirsty Whale night club. As we pulled up, the apartment complex was very typical for the midwest look & feel. The apartments were in a quiet neighborhood lined with tall elm trees. The building was all old red brick, three stories tall, with giant wood doors lined with steel hinges and rivets. Almost a mid-evil style building, but very well kept. For some reason it was not spooky... it was very warm and historical.
The band was introduced to the two ladies that were going to be our host for the next three days. The second my eyeballs focused on the girls, I thought to myself... My god, are these the two most beautiful girls on the planet? I just about fell over myself and I know my tongue was tied as I tried to form a sentence. The girl I liked was a brunette, long straight hair, 5’6”, 100 pounds, 36-24-32. She could have just walked off the set of a Victoria’s Secret photo shoot. She looked very similar to Phoebe Cates. I could not tell what nationality she was, because her skin was a light
mocha, with big bright blue-green eyes. The other beauty was a similar, could have been a sister of the blonde bombshell Heather Thomas. Need I say more? We moved all of our crap into their apartment, which I don’t think that they were very excited about. But once again, we had Vince talk with them, and after a quick five minute conversation with the two ladies, they were both helping us move our gear into their cozy two bedroom apartment. I don’t remember either of their names, so for the purposes of this story I will call them Phoebe and Heather.
Once we had set up shop in their apartment, we began to wear out our welcome quickly. We were in the fridge eating all their food, and drinking all of their booze, then peeing on their bathroom toilet seats. We were like starving locusts invading a food source. I think we got on their nerves after the first five hours! We did not have a lot to do, so the eating a drinking came natural. Both ladies told Lizzie that the entire band can not stay in there little 800 square foot 2 bedroom apartment. Vince Ernie, Pops and Mike took off down the street to get a cheap hotel that they could stay, while Lizzie and I stayed at the girls home. I don’t think this went over to well with Phoebe and Heather, because they were friends with Vince, not me and Lizzie. Vince once again, talked the two girls into letting Lizzie and I stay at their apartment. This was getting very tiring!! We were in town for eight hours and we had to have the girls persuaded three separate times by Vince for various problems.
I really wanted to stay with the girls. After all, they were the hottest woman I had ever seen, ever. I started to pry into the reason why the girls were so uncomfortable having Lizzie and I stay at their place. I was to arrogant to realize that maybe because we were complete strangers, duh! Lizzie went to the local liquor store and brought back a various bunch of mixed drinks. This was a first for Lizzie to do this on the tour. During this tour, Lizzie was very frugal with the bands money and this type of alcohol was never bought, it was always provided by the clubs we played. I knew why Lizzie was doing this. The girls had Lizzie melted like an Ice cream cone on hot pavement. I did not complain. I would reap the rewards!
The evening came and It was just Lizzie and I with Phoebe and Heather. As alcohol was consumed, they became much more talkative, but also much more full of themselves. That was our gig. We were full or ourselves and were not happy that we were hanging out with girls that had good self
esteem. Lizzie and I sat and listened to all of their stories about who they knew and the various magazines they had posed for. I don’t remember exactly what they said, because I tuned them out after the first five minutes of conversation. The brunette that I had a crush on did mention something that caught my attention. While she was sucking down wine coolers like a thirsty animal, she calmly mentioned that she was Jake E. Lee’s, ( Ozzy Osbourne’s guitarist) girlfriend. I was not sure how full of crap she was regarding the claim, but she did have all the assets to be one of his girlfriends. The blonde chimed in and told Lizzie and I that they both exclusively dated rock stars, and nobody else. The conversation became very annoying and Lizzie and I ignored the girls and decided to get the rest of the band and go out on the town and check out the music scene. Later, I would find out that ignoring the two girls would prove to be extremely effective.
We went out on the town and bar hopped the entire evening, enjoying the warm night air and taking in all the sights. We met numerous people throughout the evening and I had a good feeling about the show at the Thirsty Whale the following evening. We made it back to the girls house, and the rest of the band went down the street to whatever cheap motel they had secured for the next few nights. Upon our arrival into the apartment complex, we knocked on the door for a solid three to four minutes with no answer from the girls, then finally tried the door. Thankfully, the door was unlocked and Lizzie and I could go in a pass out on the couches.
The following day, Lizzie and I were up fairly early. Probably because the ladies did not have any blinds in the living room, so the sun was our alarm clock. Somehow, Pops was with us. I guess he did not make it back to the hotel. Funny, I do not remember him coming into the apartments with Lizzie and I. I needed to slow down on the drinking! As I sat on the couch nursing a nasty hangover, Lizzie and Pops wooed me out of the apartments to go shopping with them. I am not sure why I agreed. I felt like shit.
Here it was, 9:00 am and I was in some sporting goods store looking for what I asked? Pops said, “Lizzie decided to get some cheap fishing poles and go fishing for fun.” I was in no mood for their crap and I told them I wanted to go back and sleep longer. The bright lighting inside the store did not help matters. I thought for sure I was going to have to throw up over by the baseball equipment. Lizzie and Pops obtained two fishing poles for $5.99 each. These fishing poles were a bamboo stick with fishing line attached to the end and a crappy hook at the end of the seven foo
t fish line. I laughed at both of them and called them idiots. In the same breath, told them I felt like shit and wanted to go back to the house and go to sleep. Lizzie decided to go to the nearest liquor store and get some bloody mary mix and vodka. Good call. I fixed some Bloody Marys for us to drink while Lizzie drove around looking for a perfect fishing hole. It was not long before I had a happy little mid-morning buzz, and no more hangover. We had stopped on the side of the road fixing the drinks when we noticed that we were stopped approximately 500 yards from a nice little pond. Fishing? Ok! Lets go. It is funny how your attitude changes with a few drinks.
We walked over to the pond that was lined with beautifully manicured grass and the landscape looked like something similar to Disneyland. I had the Bloody Mary mix, and I continued to make us cocktails while Lizzie and Pops set up their fishing poles for a nice, late morning fishing expedition. I swear it was not more then one minute after Pops cast his line into the water and he pulled a beautiful 15 inch trout. Lizzie’s line hit the water and he pulled in another trout, equal in size, even quicker. Lizzie had me give him one of the plastic shopping bags, so he could put the fish into. Lizzie and Pops were catching fish as quick as they could get the caught fish off the hook, re-bait their fishing lines and cast them into the pond. All the fish were about the same size and they were also all trout. Before we knew it, the bag was full and we had quite a catch. We replenished the caught trout water every 15 minutes to keep them fresh. This was going to be a good haul. Wow these guy were really good fisherman! Lizzie was grinning ear to ear telling me, “See Cupkake, that is how you get lunch for the band!” As soon as that statement crossed Lizzie’s lips, a well dressed man, in his late 40’s approached us and asked; “What in the hell are you guys doing fishing in the restaurant pond?” The look on this guys face was precious. He was flabbergasted. The well dressed man introduced himself as the restaurant owner and explained that this was a private stocked pond for the restaurants “catch of the day.” As the man finished his sentence, he pointed across the lake to a beautiful lakeside fish restaurant located at the other side of the waters edge.
Hollywood: Rock Of Ages Page 27