“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
―Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Dare
I didn’t expect it.
I’m not used to people surprising me.
And she just surprised the hell out of me.
Because when I told her I was out, she didn’t look like someone whom had been inconvenienced or just had her pride stung.
She was gutted.
And that gave me a flare of hope, one I felt in my center of my chest. Alice may have been insisting she wasn’t interested in anything more than a sexual relationship, and only for the purpose of her academic ambition, but her reaction revealed there was more here for her than she admitted.
I pulled her chair right next to mine, draping my arm over the back.
I was now close enough to hear her breath hitch in the back of her throat and see her pupils dilate.
It was time I told her how this was going to go and I hoped like hell she was up for the ride.
“Listen, Alice, I know myself well. There’s no way I’m going to be down for some clinical fuck,” I said. I could feel the intensity rolling off me in waves as I talked with my hands. “I’ve got this mental picture in my head, of us tearing into each other, only to have you jot down notes in your lab notebook, scheduling our next session like it’s an appointment with the dentist or something.”
She let out a sigh of relief. “Is that it? That’s your issue?” she asked, her hand over her heart, which only brought my attention to those gorgeous breasts of hers. “City, it wouldn’t be like that.”
She’s not fully getting it.
I grimaced. “I’m not someone who believes in a lot of rules, but I do have two I live by. One, I don’t do anything half-assed, and second, I keep the circle of people I trust small. Part of what that means is I don’t fuck around. I don’t do casual.”
Her gaze went from my eyes to my mouth. I wanted to take that mouth. I craved her body in my bed, but I knew myself too well. I was greedy. Just her body would never be enough.
“If you don’t do casual, then why did you agree to be part of my study in the first place?” she asked.
I stared.
“Wow, it’s always the smart ones who lack common sense.”
She scrunched her nose. “Excuse me?”
Totally adorable.
“How do you not get that I’ve been looking for any ‘in’ with you I could find?”
She searched my face, as if she were trying to determine if I was for real or full of shit. Right then, I decided I wasn’t going to hold anything back, even if it costed me my chance.
“Dixie, how the hell can you say you’re studying the psychology of sex and yet you’ve been hell-bent on only giving your body? Don’t you get that great sex happens when all of you is in it? Without the mind and heart, the body can’t fully surrender.”
“Of course, I get that,” she said, barely above a whisper. “It’s just that . . .” she blew out a breath. “I’m used to living my life compartmentalized, pieces of me set aside in little boxes. It’s how I survived.
“Even when I was with Chad, someone who swore he loved me, I eventually came to realize he only loved the parts of me he could understand or relate to. The rest, he tried to wash away, in ways so small and insidious I didn’t even catch on ‘til much, much later. I guess I’m still trying to forgive myself for letting him convince me there were pieces of me that weren’t good enough.”
She looked so small sitting in that big chair next to me.
“I get that. In order to survive, we had to reconfigure ourselves into things not entirely of our creation,” I said, reaching out to brush the stray hair out of her eyes. “We’ve all done it. Just swear to whatever God you believe in to never do it again.”
She stared at me.
“What?” I asked.
“How is it I hardly know you, and yet, you get me more than the man I was engaged to?”
“I don’t know,” I said. And, as I did, I swear I felt my heart come back to life. “But that doesn’t make it any less true.”
She took my hand into her lap, threading our fingers together.
Her touch already felt like home.
“I can’t do half measures,” I said.
“I know, but I can’t let myself drown in you either. I can’t make my life all about your life,” she said, squeezing my hand.
“Is that what happened with your ex-fiancé?”
She nodded. “I met him freshman year and we were together throughout college. We broke up halfway through my master’s program, last year. What I thought was my own fairy tale, of the poor girl being swept off her feet by the rich prince of North Carolina, ended up something very different.”
I let that sink in. “I’m assuming you’re the one who called it off?”
“Yes,” she said, picking off an imaginary speck of dust off the skirt of her dress. “Chad didn’t take it well. He’s used to getting what he wants.”
“I bet. You know all the douchebags throughout history are always named either Chad, Dick, Trevor, or Blaine, right?”
Her mouth twitched. “You just made that up. Didn’t you?”
I paused, then winked. “I did,” I said, “But that doesn’t make it any less true.”
She busted out laughing.
Warmth spread through me. “Getting you to laugh is going to be my new favorite thing.”
Her eyes lit up. “I’ll tell you what, City. I wouldn’t mind that. Not one bit.”
“Challenge accepted.” I said. “One more thing.”
“Hmm?”
“I want to hear about him. I want to hear all your stories,” I said. “But first, we’re going to leave this restaurant before we close it down and I’m taking you back to my place. We may end up just talking all night or I may find myself dick deep in you. You up for that?”
She sunk her top teeth into her bottom lip. “We’re going down the rabbit hole, aren’t we?”
“Dixie, you have no idea,” I said as I stood up to take her away. “I’m hoping you’re going to find that falling’s never been such a rush.”
“How can you know so soon?” she asked, looking up at me.
“I know because it’s going to be with you.”
“It was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, “when one wasn’t always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn’t gone down the rabbit-hole—and yet—and yet—. . .”
―Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Alice
“You do realize you’ve set up the perfect honey trap,” I said.
Dare chuckled to himself. “Is that right?”
I had my heels off and was laying on my stomach in front of his fireplace. He had poured us a couple of whiskeys and started building a fire.
I kept petting the rug underneath me. “It’s a good thing I’m a proper carnivorous Southerner by the way,” I said, brushing my cheek back and forth. “Because I don’t even care that this is an animal skin rug. I swear, laying on this thing is like experiencing the softness of heaven right here on earth.”
“Should I leave the two of you alone?”
I narrowed my eyes into playful slits. “Don’t tease. Because I think I may live on this rug patch for the rest of my days,” I said, propping my elbows on the rug and resting my chin on the heels of my palms. “Just don’t tell me what kind of animal it is, okay? Because then I’m going to picture its cute lil’ face and then the whole experience is ruined for me.”
His body shook with quiet laughter. “Yeah, if you knew, you wouldn’t be happy,” he said. He grabbed one of those long-nosed lighters and flicked the switch. “Althoug
h, if it’s any consolation, it was a gift from an early patron of mine.”
My mind started overthinking. “A woman?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, stopping what he was doing to look over at me. Damn, he was so strong and beautiful. “Does that idea make you jealous?”
I let out a sigh. “I know I’m supposed to say ‘no,’ to feign indifference, but I’m not that built that way.”
His nostrils flared. “Good, because I’m not either.” He crawled over, his body a panther on the prowl as he flipped me over and his weight settled over mine. My hands immediately went under his shirt, needing to feel his skin, the muscles in his back taut as he hovered over me, gazing down.
“I like you wanting me,” he said as I stared up at him. Damn, my heart was pounding hard. I was sure he could feel it. “And I really like feeling your hands on me.”
I let my nails scratch down his back, which made his eyes get lazy, a groan humming in the back of his throat. “Shit, Dixie, I’m holding on to my control by a very weak thread.”
“Why?” I whispered, my hands sliding down past his waistband, cupping the globes of his perfect ass. “Don’t hold back.”
The clouds returned. “I don’t want to scare you off.”
“I don’t want that either,” I said. “But I promise, I’ll tell you if I feel overwhelmed.”
He studied me. “I need that, Dixie. I’m decent at reading people too, but I have to know the woman in my bed feels free to tell me anything, even if you’re worried I won’t like it.”
Something was working behind his eyes, his mind going somewhere.
“The same is true for you, City,” I said.
He gazed down at me, lines creased between his eyes.
“No holding back?” he asked.
“No holding back,” I said.
“Alright,” he expelled a breath he seemed to be holding. “Whatever this is, however long it is, I need exclusivity. I don’t want another man even thinking for a second he has a shot in there,” he said, his eyes darting, searching mine. “Can you give me that?”
As much as I loved groping his ass, I needed my hands to soothe him. I stroked his hair, rested the other hand along the crook of his neck, feeling his pulse racing.
This mattered to him, and, if I was to be honest with myself, it mattered to me too.
“Yes, I can give you that, City,” I said. “No other women for you either.”
He scoffed. “Please, I haven’t been with anyone in over a year,” he said.
I felt my jaw drop. “Is that true? How is that true?”
He searched my face. “You haven’t heard?”
My brows furrowed. “About what?”
“It’s not a ‘what,’ but a ‘who,’” he said.
He must be referring to that girl, Chloe, the one Rayna mentioned.
Dare must’ve seen a flash of recognition.
“So, you have heard,” he said, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Only a name, not what happened,” I said. “Hey, we don’t need to share all our stories tonight, okay? There’s time.”
His shoulders dropped. “That sounds good.”
“Do I get you now?” I asked.
He broke into a huge smile. “You mean do I get you now?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but he had had enough talking. He kissed me, giving my body all his weight, the pressure feeling so good, centering me even as I was soaring. He gave all of himself in his kiss, his tongue playing with mine, his teeth tugging at my bottom lip. Wetness flooded in a delicious way between my legs.
“I-I need you,” I moaned as his mouth skimmed my jaw, his whiskers scraping against the skin of my neck and chest. I was on fire.
“Me too, Dixie,” he groaned, giving me space so I could unbutton his shirt, him practically ripping it off his arms before he turned me over on my stomach, taking my zipper in between his teeth and working it down.
Holy shit. I felt his mouth at the base of my spine, his tongue and lips working their way up as he slid my dress off my shoulders. He lifted himself off me so I could shimmy the rest away. He was on his knees, straddling my legs, and I turned around to see him unbuckling his belt.
“No,” I said, my hands taking over as I turned back onto my back. “That’s for me.”
I whipped the belt away, then undid his trousers, and he promptly moved his legs to kick them away. He was naked, lying beside me—the picture of rugged virility. He had curls of black chest hair with a trail leading to his generous and long cock, which laid heavy along his hip. He was muscular everywhere, with gorgeous thick thighs, taut abs and strong arms. He had some black curls around his cock, but he must’ve kept it trimmed because I could still see every part of him.
I was still in my bra and underwear, so I unsnapped the back hooks and slowly let my bra fall away. His lips parted and his cock twitched. Just looking at him, feeling his longing for me amped my need.
“You’re beautiful everywhere,” he said, reaching over, his arms snaking around my waist, pulling me to him. I was now flush against him, his scent and warmth enveloping us. My nipples were hard points, my breasts heavy and sensitive, sparking desire through my body as they rubbed against the hairs of his broad chest.
“You feel amazing,” I said, before he started kissing me again and rubbing his large cock between my legs. I was already slick with arousal and he groaned when he felt it.
“Fuck, Dixie, you’re already wet for me.”
He was dragging the head of his length right along my center. My head lolled back as I held onto his shoulders, hitching a leg over his hip, grinding in tandem with him.
“I don’t want to come yet, but that feels so good,” I moaned.
I felt his mouth at my nipples, going back and forth, sucking and flicking my sensitive nubs while moving his hips, creating beautiful friction.
“I’m going to make you come a lot tonight,” he said, getting rougher, going faster. “I want to see you fall apart, and I’m going to use my dick, my fingers and my
mouth on you to make it happen.”
I couldn’t fully form a response with words. He was working delectable magic on my body. I had become only feeling.
“Oh God,” I said, my hips moving in time with his, my forehead resting against his. “I’m close. I-I can’t—
“You can, honey,” he insisted. My eyes were closed, but I could feel him watching me. “You’re going to keep rubbing that sweet pussy until you detonate all over my dick. Then I’m going to fuck you deep and eat you raw because I want to see all the different ways that gorgeous face looks when you’re falling apart.”
His dirty mouth sent me over the edge. I let out a silent scream, a mouth opened with no sound, my body convulsing in sweaty, sweet delirium.
“That’s it. Let go,” he whispered in my ear, then kissed along my neck,
rubbing his whiskers against my skin. I shivered from all the sensations and he hugged me tighter.
I opened my eyes as I came back.
“Hey,” he said, voice still rough with desire.
I smiled. “Hey right back at ya,” I said.
I let my hand slide down between us, wrapping it around him. My fingertips couldn’t even touch, his length was that thick. I started stroking.
“That feels good, but I want in,” he groaned.
“I want you in.”
He reached for his pants and took the condom out of his wallet. No surprise, it was one of those Magnum XL. I watched as he rolled it over himself, the fire flicking light and shadow between us.
I swallowed. “I hope you’ll fit,” I said, only half kidding.
He blanketed his body over mine, his cock resting between us, on my stomach.
“We’ll go slow, okay?” he asked, both his hands gently holding my head.
I nodded.
His eyes never left mine as he moved his hips. I opened my legs, feeling his cock drag until the tip was at my opening. He started off slow, but
I was so wet, so ready, that he slid inside. No pain, but it was snug.
Once he could feel I was good, Dare thrusted fully inside. I swear, I felt him in my throat. And I loved it.
“Baby, it’s so good,” I moaned. “Don’t be gentle. I can take it.”
“Fuck, you’re perfect for me,” he said as he growled and pummeled into me. I grabbed his ass, pushing him as deep as he could go, until he rolled us over in one full sweep. I was on top.
“Ride me,” he said, his voice rough. “Work my cock with that sweet, tight pussy.” He then held on to my ass as I rode him, tilting my hips on the way down so I could get the exact right angle against my swollen clit. With each movement, I felt my need growing again, sparks of pleasure making every nerve in my body come alive and sing. My ample breasts bounced. His torso jacked up, wrapping his arms around me, his mouth finding my nipples, sucking deep, feeling so hungry I felt his groans right between my legs along with his cock. His thighs pressed against my back. I was surrounded by everything Dare. And when he reached down between us and rubbed me in time with our thrusts, that was it.
There was nothing silent this time. Waves of electric pleasure exploded, making me come hard and moan louder and longer than I ever had in my life. City followed right behind me, his moans almost a growl. Even with the condom, I swore I still felt him come, searing and strong.
It was a good thing he was holding me because I felt dizzy, my head becoming feather light, like it wasn’t connected to my body any more.
His breath was hot against my chest, coming out in short pants as he tried to catch his breath. He wasn’t the only one. I cradled his head in my arms, resting my cheek against his soft, thick hair.
I felt my eyes getting heavy, drifting off, when he got up in a quick motion, holding me by the waist and under my bottom.
“Where are we going?”
“I want you in my bed,” he said, walking us through his apartment, the city alight through his wall of floor-to-ceiling windows. It was like watching a swirl of lights, millions of lit dots morphing into sinewy, parallel lines.
I think I was tipsy from the whiskey.
He kicked open his bedroom door and laid me down in the center of the bed holding the condom in place while sliding out of me.
The Wonder of You (A Different Kind of Wonderland Book 1) Page 8