by Bria Leigh
“Everything okay?” She eyed me suspiciously, her red hair falling against her face when she looked at me. “Violet. You would tell me if something was wrong, right?”
“Mom. Some things are better left alone, okay?” It grossed me out. Her eyes darkened when I spoke those words. And it took me back to a dark place.
A place neither one of us liked to be in anymore.
“When you were born, you came out with this tiny baby afro. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen.” She played with my hair. “And green eyes. I had never seen anything so beautiful.”
Hearing my mother talk about what I meant to her felt good and painful at the same time. She wanted to be the best mom. She tried her hardest to always be there for me. But a couple of times, she just messed up.
“I told everyone that came to the window looking at their babies that you were mine. Some of them gave me weird looks. But I didn’t care because I was in love with you. Every part of you.”
“I don’t think Morgan was fond of me.”
My mom laughed at the thought of my older sister. Morgan was already five years old when I came into her life.
“Morgan adored you.” She sighed. “I wonder what she’s doing for the holidays.”
I rested my head against her shoulder. “I’m sure she’s fine.”
She just nodded, not offering any reassurance on her part. Morgan was a mess. And there was nothing she could do about it. She drifted further and further away from us every year until we finally gave up trying to get her back.
I wasn’t the only one damaged by my mother’s mistakes. Morgan had a lot of skeletons in her closet. Morgan couldn’t handle her problems. So she ran away from them.
I wasn’t the best at dealing with mine either, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized how important Wilder was. He was a major part of how I survived all the shit I went through.
“I think I might be in love with him,” I said. It came out before I could stop it.
Mom’s eye grew bigger. “And if you are, I support you both.”
I shook my head. The whole thing was ridiculous. “I don’t want to love him. Or anyone.” Love hurt.
“Love isn’t always awful, Violet.”
“It was for you.” She couldn’t deny that. “I loved Dad and look where that got me.”
“You were a kid, and you didn’t know better.”
“We loved Morgan, and she ran away.”
If I let myself fall in love with Wilder, it would ruin everything. Our relationship would fall apart because that was how it worked. You loved someone, and they broke your heart. Wilder was my best friend since elementary, and I wanted it to stay that way. Because losing him wasn’t something I could handle.
“Honey. I want you to promise me you will let someone love you the way you deserve one day.” My mom smoothed my hair. “Because it’s amazing when you do.”
“What do you mean it’s amazing?”
She sighed. “When I was a lot younger, I met a boy the summer I turned eighteen. And I fell in love with him. And it was beautiful.”
“What happened?”
“He went off to college. And well, you know the rest for me.” She had one bad relationship after another. Morgan’s father was a drug dealer. And with that brought a lifestyle she didn’t want. She left Morgan’s dad. And soon after she met Tom. And that’s when love got dark and ugly.
She did what she could to make it work—but it wasn’t working. She hid all the bruises. She painted on a perfect smile, and she did the best she could to be the picture-perfect wife.
But little by little, Tom’s ugly side couldn’t stay hidden, and it seeped into everything it touched. And she finally let go. But the damage was done, love ruined her children, her faith, and her life.
“What was his name?” What was the name of the perfect guy that showed her beautiful love?
“Garrett Urban.” She drifted back to her happy place. “He had this amazing head of honey-colored hair. And the sweetest baby blues.”
“What was he like?” She told me all about their summer. And all the excitement she felt thinking about what the future could hold. It was the first time in her life she was looking forward to something
“He was sweet, but a manly guy. He could carry a conversation, and he was an amazing kisser.” She laughed, closing her eyes and relishing in the moment. “I need a glass of wine after this story.”
I grabbed my phone, and soon as she left, I googled the name Garrett Urban. I had the perfect Christmas present for her.
“ARE YOU SURE THIS IS the address they gave you?” Wilder asked me, looking at the pool and spa store.
I looked at my phone one more time. I knew it was, but Wilder kept doubting my investigation skills. “Yes. It said he was the owner of Urban spas and more.”
“And you’re sure this is the same guy your mom dated back in the day?” Wilder stared at the electronic billboard flashing big sales on hot tubs.
“Yes. There was even a picture of him.” I wasn’t a complete moron. I cyber-stalked him across the internet.
“And we are just going to march in there and tell this guy your mom still has a thing for him?”
“No, Wilder. I am simply going to tell him I’m her daughter and she mentioned him the other day.” And that’s where my ideas stalled out.
“This guy is a salesman. He can smell bullshit a mile away. You’re going to have to do better than that.”
“Like what?”
Wilder shrugged. “We are newlyweds and are looking for our first hot tub.”
“Like married?” The thought of marrying Wilder, oh, it was always on my mind. I felt kind of weird for even thinking about it. But I had to admit it crossed my mind once or twice—lots more than that even.
“Yeah. You’re my wife.” His eyes lingered on mine. “You think you could manage that for the sake of your mother?”
For the sake of my mother. “Yeah. I think I could. You’re not so bad to look at. I could wake up next to you for the rest of my life.” I laughed, feeling very awkward.
“Gee, thanks, asshole.” He took his keys out of the ignition and hopped out of the car. I did the same.
“Did I offend you?” I smirked. “I’m not even sure I am up to your standards to tell you the truth.”
Wilder and I headed up to the doors of the store. “You’re way more than my standards.”
“I never gave a blow job with another girl on the same guy. I think that may disqualify me.” I started laughing, and Wilder shoved me away from him. “It had to be brought up sooner or later.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Fucking Christ. This is not what I wanted to talk about with you.”
“How could I not mention it? It’s all over the internet.”
“I’m going to kill Saint when I see him. He’s lucky he’s dodging me right now.”
“Don’t kill him. Just learn from it.”
Wilder opened the door for me. “What am I supposed to learn from that?”
“Maybe next time, three girls?” I laughed, and he shoved me into a pool table. Not only did the store sell hot tubs and saunas, but they also had pool tables and arcades — everything a homeowner could want for a wonderful life at home.
“It worried me.” He grew serious, touching the balls on the pool table. He concentrated on them, so he didn’t have to look at me. “I thought you were going to be pissed when you saw it.”
“I already know who you are.” A couple of blow jobs didn’t change that. “So, you’re kinky. It’s not the worst thing in the world.”
Wilder looked at me. “I don’t act like that. That’s not how I am. I was drunk, and shit got crazy.”
Before I could tell him, I wasn’t judging him, the man I was looking for came walking up to the both of us.
“Well, hello folks. My name is Garrett Urban, and I am the owner of Urban spas and more. What brought you two in today?”
“The wife and I wanted to check
out your hot tubs.” Wilder wrapped his arm around me, doing an excellent job of looking like a man in love.
“Newlyweds, right?” He dazzled us with a perfect set of pearly whites. “I have the perfect tub for you.” He waved a hand at another guy letting him know he was aware he was waiting to speak to him. “Just give me a minute. Feel free to look around.”
I leaned against the hot tub, my adrenaline in overdrive. I felt like a super spy on a mission.
“I think he bought it,” Wilder said, taking the spot next to me.
“I think I did too,” I said thinking back to the way he pulled me close to him. Like I was all his and nobody else’s. “I’ve never seen you like that. So caring.”
Wilder laughed me off. “That’s because I’m too busy getting blowjobs. And you’re wrong. I’ve done nothing but care about you our entire friendship.”
I rolled my eyes. Garrett was watching us. I grabbed Wilder by the back of the neck, tugging him to me. And I did something entirely out of the norm. I planted a kiss on his lips. I half expected him to pull away, but he was into it, really into it. He grabbed hold of me, and he explored my mouth with his tongue. His lips crushing mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck totally caught in the moment. He was a fantastic kisser. And we worked well together.
We broke apart, staring into each other's eyes for what seemed liked minutes before we backed off and came out of the fog. Kissing was all part of the act I told myself. We were trying to reunite Garrett with Mom.
My heart was going nuts in my chest. I could still taste Wilder on my lips.
“There’s no doubt he believes us now,” Wilder whispered in my ear. He slapped me on the ass and started looking around at the hot tubs.
I didn’t know what to make of him. Had he felt what I felt? Was I wrong, maybe he was just selling something?
“Okay, lovebirds. Let’s check out these tubs,” Garrett said, ready to make a deal with us.
“SEE YA!” I SAID, CLIMBING the steps to my house. I turned around and watched Wilder head across the street.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said back. He made it on his porch, and we both grinned before disappearing inside our houses. I had kissed Wilder. Not a young and dumb, let’s see how this works kiss — a full-on makeout session full of lust and passion and racing hearts. Well, it made my heart race.
“I’m back,” I announced, walking into the kitchen. I set my purse down. Mom was stirring a pot on the stove. “Smells like chicken noodle soup.”
“That’s because it is,” she told me, she got some on her big spoon and put a hand under it to catch the drips. That was my cue to sample her famous soup.
And I did gladly. I gave it a good blow and smiled, licking my lips. “Amazing like always.”
She set the spoon down. “Did you get your Christmas shopping done?”
I hated lying to my mother. But this lie was worth it. “Yes.”
She dried her hands on the rag hanging over the sink. “Well, I wrapped yours and already put them under the tree.”
“Can’t wait.” I bit down on my lip, thinking about Wilder and the kiss, wondering if I should admit it to my mom or keep it a secret. I needed someone’s opinion. And I usually would go to Wilder with my problems.
“What’s that smirk?” She knew something was different. She knew me too well. “What did you do?”
I sat down at the kitchen table. And she took the seat across from me. She was making it feel like a meeting rather than a girl talking to her mother.
“I kissed Wilder.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I kissed him.”
“You kissed him?” She was just as astonished as I was. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Well, not yet.”
She smacked a hand down on the table, shaking her head. “I do not want to think about that.”
I laughed. “Mom.”
“Alright. So how was it?”
I didn’t miss a beat. Thinking about it put me right back in the moment. “Amazing.” I wanted to do it again.
“Did you guys talk about it?”
I gave her a weird look. “People don’t talk about kissing.” Did they? Well, Mac and I had. But that was because it was awkward, and I denied him. Wilder was into the kiss, and so was I. Problem was I didn’t know if it was because of my plan.
We played the part well. Garrett Urban remembered my mother. The way his face lit up at the mention of her told me he was just as happy to hear about her as she was talking about him.
I invited him over for Christmas Eve. And he said he wouldn’t miss it for the world. He even agreed to forgive Wilder and me for lying about being married. He told us we still owed him one hot tub purchase. And Wilder agreed the moment he decided to get one he would buy from him.
I couldn’t wait to see my mothers’ face when she saw Garrett Urban standing in her doorway tomorrow.
THE DOORBELL RANG, and a million butterflies erupted in my gut. Excitement rushed through my veins, and I clasped my hands together, waiting for Mom to open the door. Garrett had texted he was five minutes away.
Mom opened the door. I wasn’t breathing anymore, so ready for the moment. But it wasn’t Garrett.
“Wilder. Don’t you look handsome,” Mom gave him an awkward hug because his hands were full, and shut the door forbidding the cold air from getting into our warm house. Everything was as Christmas as it could get. The house even smelled like Christmas.
“Where’s Bing?” she asked.
“He’s spending time with my mom,” Wilder said with a shrug, not looking particularly thrilled about it. He was holding several big presents and a couple of small ones in his hands. “I’ll see him tomorrow.”
He looked at me. “Vi. You looked beautiful.”
I headed over and took his presents so I could put them under the tree. And Mom took his coat and hung it by the door.
“Fresh cookies on the counter. And egg nog.” Mom excused herself.
“I thought you were...” I didn’t finish the sentence for fear Mom would overhear.
“Nope. Just me.” He followed me into the living room and I kneeled pushing the presents under the tree.
“I can’t wait to see what you got me,” I smiled. I loved opening gifts from Wilder. He helped me off the ground.
“Just some sex tapes and a guide on blow jobs,” he told me, and we both started laughing. I slapped him in his arm, my hand slamming into his hard bicep.
“You’re disgusting.”
“Yeah, but are you?” He laughed, poking at me.
“If you are asking me about my sex life, that’s off limits,” I told him.
“You have had sex...right?” He looked at me differently. As if he was trying to see just how innocent I was.
“Yeah, I told you about it.” I swallowed, thinking about who I lost my virginity to made me feel disgusting.
“You and Mac didn’t?” He raised an eyebrow.
I looked at the ground. I guess there was something we had in common. “He went down on me.”
I could see the shock coursing through Wilder’s face. His jaw tensed, and for once, he was speechless.
“He wasn’t bad at it. But I threw up in his bathroom afterward and fell asleep on the floor. That’s it.” My cheeks burned with embarrassment.
Wilder started laughing. “I’ve never made a girl throw up or fall asleep after I went down on her.”
The thought of Wilder going down on someone made me ache with dare I say desire? My mind played the scenario in my head. Wilder was throwing me down on my bed with that cute grin he only got around me.
Wilder was undoing my jeans and taking them off while I stared at his beautiful face. The way his fingers would feel against my skin when he slid my underwear down. I imagined how excited he would be to go down on me. He would put everything into it—because that was just the kind of guy he was.
Shit. I was lusting after my best friend.
Before I could imagine all the t
hings his tongue would do or what he would do with his hands, the doorbell rang again.
“I’ll get it,” Mom yelled, carrying her dishtowel as she headed for the door. She looked beautiful in her blue velvet dress and heels. I was sure when Garrett laid eyes on her, all their feelings for one another would come rushing right back.
And knowing she had no idea what was going on made the surprise that much more exciting.
Wilder and I stood behind her anxiously waiting.
She opened the door and gasped, as I expected she would do.
Garrett looked extremely handsome. And even happier then he was at his store when he saw her.
“Who’s the guy with him?” Wilder whispered.
I shrugged. “I don’t know.” A tall, equally handsome younger guy stood next to him with a bottle of wine in his hand.
“You have got to be kidding me right now,” Mom said, touching her forehead.
“Lorna Kidman, in the flesh.” Garrett went in for the kill, planting a sweet kiss against her cheek. “Still as beautiful as ever. How are you?”
My mom squeezed his arm, taking him in. All the parts that aged so well. “Garrett Urban. How in the hell did you find me?”
That was my moment to speak up. “Merry Christmas!”
Mom whirled around, looking at me shocked. “You little...” She didn’t finish her sentence. “Come inside you guys. Merry Christmas.”
“This is River. My son.” Garrett introduced. “We always spend the holiday together. I hope you don’t mind I brought him.”
Mom shook her head. “No problem at all. The more, the merrier. You know my daughter, Violet. And this is Wilder. They’ve been friends since first grade.”
Garrett grinned at us. “I met Wilder the other day too.” He told her all about our little visit.
River stood there a little uncomfortable. So I sprang into action. “You brought wine.” I offered to take it off his hand, and he obliged with a nod.
“Dad wasn’t sure what to bring.”
“Mom loves wine,” I told him. “Can I take your jacket?”
He shrugged it off and handed it over, dressed in a cute button-up and jeans. “Thanks. Nice place.”