by L. Penelope
“And what are you willing to do to ensure my lack of interference with young Caleb and his courtship?”
I take a step back and look up at him. His expression is impassive, but his eyes spark dangerously. “Whatever I can. I want to help him.”
He slides a cool finger down my cheek, all the way down my neck to my shoulder and my arm. Chills and goose bumps rise in response, even when he’s only touching fabric. “What can you do, little Maia?”
“What do you want?” I shrug away from his touch and cross my arms protectively.
With another look behind me, he grabs my hand. “I want to dance.”
The fast electronica track fades right in the middle, and a slow song comes on. Much of the dance floor clears as people couple up and start grinding each another.
Helix pulls me in close. He smells vaguely of the ocean, not unpleasant, but his arms are a steel cage around me. My palms sweat and my movements are stilted and jerky.
“Relax,” he says, moving gracefully to the music. One hand strokes down my back. I try to unlock my stiff joints, but my mind races. What is his endgame? Is my discomfort just more entertainment to him?
“What’s going through that head of yours?” His voice is a low rumble in my ear.
“It really bugs you that you can’t read my mind, doesn’t it?”
Instead of answering, he just pulls me tighter. I’m pressed so close to his hard chest that I have to turn my head to breathe. In this position, it really looks like we’re in an intimate embrace.
“You can really read the mind of everyone here?” That thought is unnerving.
“Yes, but I don’t bother. No one here is thinking anything remotely interesting.”
“Is that something all angels can do?”
“No, each angel has their own distinct powers based on their duties.”
“So, what are your duties? You’re not a Vulture, and you don’t seem to be an Angel of Death.”
He chuckles. “No, though she was amused at your little tirade today.”
I snort. “Yeah, so amused she just flew away instead of, you know, actually answering me.”
“Well, to be fair, you don’t deserve any answers.”
I stiffen inside his embrace. The song changes, and I pull away. “What do you really want, Helix?”
With a hand on my back, he leads me out of the crowd and to the terrace overlooking the Yard. Out here, the moon is huge and bright. The spindly trees shiver, glowing eerily as they shed their leaves for the oncoming winter.
I lean over the balcony, looking off into the distance. Helix takes a few steps away before turning to me, his eyes bright with moonlight.
“Come here,” he says, his voice deeper and more resonant.
“Why?” He’s acting pretty weird, even for him.
He crosses his arms. “Flap your arms and hop on one leg.”
I squint at him and cross my arms, mimicking his movement. “What the fuck are you talking about? Why would I do that?”
The mischievous smile is back. “I can’t charm you either. How fascinating.”
“You’re not that charming.” I shrug and turn to lean back on the railing.
“You asked me what I wanted in order to stay away from your precious halfling.”
I nod, pretty sure I’m not going to like where this is headed.
“What I want, dear Maia, is you.”
I swallow and frown. “I don’t understand. You want me to what?”
His gaze is set to smolder. His eyes roam down my body; I’m wearing a lot of clothes so there’s not much to see, but the way he looks at me makes me feel like X-ray vision is one of his powers. I really hope it’s not.
“You want me? Like that?” My stomach tightens and my eyes start blinking involuntarily. He just smiles.
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“Actually, yeah.” I motion to myself. “Humans come in all shapes and sizes, and this one isn’t considered particularly appealing by most.”
“Oh, but on the contrary, Maia. All of you is entirely appealing to me. Any of them, I could have with a word.” He sweeps his arms out, pretty much indicating everyone in the world. “But you are different.”
I grip my elbow, pulling my arm tight against my body. His gaze is making me uncomfortable, and not in a warm and lusty way. He’s gorgeous, there’s no doubt about that — an otherworldly beauty ripples over him. His touch doesn’t make me squirm, doesn’t bring back any of the horrible memories that overwhelm me when I get too close to people. But still, I don’t want him. So far I’ve only ever wanted one person, and Helix knows that very well. He saw it in my head. This is just him upsetting my cart.
I take a step back and look him dead in the eye. “So if I fuck you, you’ll leave them alone.”
His mouth turns down at my language. “Yes.”
“And is there some kind of angel pinky swear you can do so I know you mean it?”
“I will vow it. You can ask your halfling about angel vows and he will verify.”
I turn away and shiver, but not from the night air. This body of mine is nothing special. Just flesh and bone, skin and gristle. But it’s not my body he wants. Like he said, those are easy to conquer. He wants something more from me, my free will maybe? He wants me to choose this, but not because he has any feelings about me, just because it amuses him. It would be a transaction. And it could help save Caleb from the Wasteland.
Caleb.
All the things I don’t want to admit about the way I feel, Helix already knows. Maybe doing this will help in more ways than one. Maybe it will distract me from this stupid crush that’s threatening to squeeze me into nothingness.
My eyes sting as tears form behind them. I blink them back and clench my right hand into a fist before turning back to Helix.
“Vow that if I do this, you won’t turn Caleb in to the Vultures and you won’t do anything to interfere with him getting Genna to bind with him.”
“I vow it.” A soft glow surrounds him as he says the words, and I feel the power of them.
“How many times?”
The glow fades away as he frowns at me.
“How many times do I have to sleep with you?”
A grin spreads slowly over his features. “As many as you’d like.”
“So once then?”
He chuckles, throwing his head back like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. “If once is all you’d like, then once it shall be.”
I exhale the breath I’ve been holding. Helix isn’t some angelic pimp wanting to whore me out — at least I hope not.
“So, are we doing this now, or what?”
His damn laugh is really starting to annoy me. “No, not tonight. We will get together tomorrow, and I will take you shopping for some more appropriate attire.”
“What?”
“I cannot be seen with you when you are looking like some sort of Halloween reject. I do have standards.”
I clench my jaw to hold back the stream of insults that want to rush out. “A makeover and a fuck, how did I get so lucky?”
I wonder if they have sarcasm in heaven, because he just smiles wider at me.
“Until tomorrow, then.” He gives a slight bow as his body begins to glow, and then he’s back in his angel form, taking off into the sky like a shooting star, leaving me cold but determined here on the earth.
Chapter Twelve
I FOLLOW Genna’s bouncing head as she winds a labyrinthine path through the partygoers. Our second party in as many nights, this one at a fraternity house just off campus. Last night she seemed distant and somewhat … off. I returned with the drink she requested and suddenly she wanted to leave, claiming a headache. My plans to kiss her were thwarted.
But today she was back to normal and seemed very excited about this party.
“Would you like some beer?” I shout into her ear to be heard above the noise of the crowd. She nods, and I grip her more tightly so as not to lose her.
> There’s a line at the keg and, while we wait, I scan the crowd. My human body has blood and organs like everyone else’s, but this is the first time I’ve really noticed how the blood flowing through my veins can freeze into ice when faced with a shock. Maia stands across the room. I recognize her instantly, though it takes me several seconds to believe my eyes.
Her face is free of the dark, aggressive makeup she usually wears. A healthy glow brushes her cheeks. Her hair is down, framing her face in soft curls, and a gentle sheen adorns her bee-stung lips. She’s still wearing black, but not her usual jeans and sweatshirt. Tonight she’s donned a dress — sleeveless, with a hemline ending at mid-thigh. It hugs the curves of her body in a sensuous way, and that’s when my blood heats up again. High heels, similar to ones that Genna recently gushed over in a magazine, adorn her feet. She stands awkwardly, discomfort written all over her, and though she looks beautiful, I miss the usual clothes that she wears like armor.
I gape at her for a few moments, then come back to myself when Genna nudges me to move forward in the line. My view of Maia is blocked until the crowd parts, revealing her again. She’s breathtaking. She’s also standing next to a man I’ve never seen before. I remember every face I’ve come into contact with, and his is new. Douglass is a big school, but Maia goes virtually nowhere except class, the cafeteria, and the dormitory.
The man slides an arm around Maia and she tenses. Somehow this causes me to breathe a sigh of relief. I don’t understand her clothes or new appearance, but at least she isn’t interested in him.
Guilt washes over me as Genna presses herself to my side to tell me something about one of the other partygoers. I smile and nod, using half my mind to feign attention to the girl I’ve pinned all my hopes on. The other half of me churns as Maia’s companion slides his hand down her arm, then around behind her back, and she grows even more rigid. It’s then that she notices me. She meets my eyes and frowns, shaking her head almost imperceptibly. She takes a small step away from the man, but he follows, apparently oblivious.
“I think Maia’s in trouble. I’ll be right back,” I tell Genna.
“Maia’s here?” Her voice is filled with incredulity, but I’m already stalking away, filled with indignation on Maia’s behalf. I need to watch it or I’ll start to glow again.
When I reach them, I acknowledge her with a nod and stare pointedly at her companion. He launches a Cheshire cat smile at me, wide and roguish. I turn my attention back to Maia — there’s a warning in her eyes, but also fear. How did she get mixed up with someone she’s afraid of? Doesn’t she know that I’ll protect her?
“I’m surprised to see you here, Maia. I didn’t think this was your kind of event.” My voice sounds foreign to my ears, colder than I intended.
She casts her eyes down and mumbles a response. “College is for parties, right?”
Her gaze is on her feet, so I turn to her companion. “I’m Caleb, a friend of Maia’s. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” It’s not, but I keep it polite, for now.
“Caleb.” His grin grows even wider. He looks over my shoulder, toward the party, and then back to me, and then laughs. It’s a great big belly laugh, completely out of place for the circumstances. Is he mentally stable?
“Oh, this will be interesting,” he says, ignoring my outstretched hand.
“And you are?” I ask. He looks older, past the age of most students. Perhaps a graduate student? He loops an arm around Maia’s shoulder, pulling her stiff form closer to him. “I’m a friend of Maia’s as well.”
I’m unaccustomed to anger — I’ve had little cause to ever feel it, but now it grows inside me and I see it for the cancer it is. This feeling could overtake everything if allowed to fester. It could grow and expand until there was nothing left but this rage, and then I could explode, throw my hands around this man’s neck, and squeeze the life out of him.
“Dear Maia,” he says, “why don’t you run off and keep your roommate company since her beloved has seen fit to abandon her? Caleb and I need to talk.”
She spears him with a look that holds no fear, only challenge.
“It’s fine. I’m a creature of my word; you can believe it,” he says.
She leaves with another, longer, look at me. There’s guilt and sorrow in her eyes, and more that I don’t understand.
I take a step closer in order to be heard. He rests a hand on my shoulder, and before I can wrench out of his grasp, we are somewhere else. On the roof of the house. In the yard below, the party continues, and raucous laughter filters up to us through the trees. I stumble away from him just as his eyes turn to flame.
“You’re an angel.”
He laughs again. “Perceptive little halfling.”
“Who are you?”
“Helix, and I am keeping your secret, for now.”
My head spins, all that anger morphing into something else. Fear — both for me and for Maia. What is she doing with this angel?
“Why aren’t you turning me in?”
He looks down to the backyard where Genna and Maia are walking together, drinks in hand, scanning the area, no doubt looking for us.
“I have vowed it to her.” He nods at Maia.
A sour coldness grows inside me. “Your vow comes at what price, angel?”
His slow grin spreads across his face like a virus, at once lascivious and victorious. “A very human price. Do you not like the clothes I bought for her? They are much more appropriate than the morbid rags she usually wears. They accentuate more of her … assets.”
My tongue thickens with a putrid taste. “Leave her alone. There are billions of other humans to play with — why her?”
He comes closer to me, a soft glow emerging on his skin. I don’t think he’s aware of it, but he’s radiating power. Angels, too, have difficulty maintaining human form, especially when experiencing strong emotions.
“I can see why you like her. She is remarkable. Much more interesting than your limp rag of a soul mate.”
“Don’t talk about Genna like that.”
He snorts. “Yes, Maia is something special. Do you know that I removed her Sight and she begged for it back?” He takes note of the shock on my face, and his grin grows. “Said she needed it to help you. Poor Caleb, languishing there in the Wasteland. Poor Caleb, can’t convince the love of his lives to bind with him. I simply have to help him.” He mocks her concern with a high-pitched voice and a fluttering of the eyelids. “It’s all so very earnest. How could I resist?”
“So you gave her back her powers and what? Coerced her into being your girlfriend?”
He laughs. “Not all of us are obsessed with human love, Caleb. She does not need to be my girlfriend in order for me to get what I want from her. Pleasure only, in exchange for my continued silence to the powers that be about one fugitive halfling. I consider it to be a fair trade.”
I sputter, stepping away from him and the knowledge that he’s given me. “So you’re going to use her? And she agreed to this?”
“Mustn’t let poor Caleb rot away down there for eternity. You should be glad. I’m actually doing you more than one favor. Maia is a distraction to your goal. What you should be concerned with is how you’re going to convince your meek little mouse there to share a part of her soul with you. The Vultures are getting closer, even without me alerting them, and you are running out of time.”
He’s right, I know it, but the idea of him and Maia is still staining my vision with red.
“It’s really too bad you chose a soul mate with such strong convictions. ‘My soul must be whole and pure for any chance of heaven.’” He mimics Viv’s words to me from another life. I don’t bother to ask how he knows them.
Helix sidles over, and we both stare down at the girls. “I must give you credit, though, halfling. You certainly have good taste. Just remember to focus on what’s important, while you still can.”
With that, he disappears from sight, reappearing an instant later at Maia’s side. He says someth
ing to her, and both girls turn to look up toward the roof. I become invisible, knowing it will only protect me from Genna’s eyes. I can’t bear to look at Maia. Shame overwhelms me as I float down from the roof and become visible again in the bushes on the side of the house.
I’m so distracted that I forget to avert the humans’ eyes, and one stumbling student behind me shouts at my appearance.
“Whoa,” he says, then his skin turns a greenish tinge and he recommences vomiting into the bushes.
* * *
Genna and I lie in a hammock in the backyard as the party dies down around us. She’s pressed against my side, my arm around her shoulder, but still she feels so far away. Or perhaps I’m the one who’s distant. I’m back on that roof, replaying Helix’s words, watching him and Maia together.
Where did they go off to? What are they doing? The last I saw them, she was pulling the angel back into the sea of partygoers, leaving me and Genna without a second look.
Genna shifts in my arms. She’s quite drunk. I think she may have fallen asleep until she starts giggling uncontrollably.
“Are you all right?” I brush back her hair to reveal her face. She entwines her fingers with mine and raises our joined hands, pointing at the stars.
“You picked them for me,” she says, slurring her words slightly.
I tense, holding my breath.
She giggles again. “It was sweet, and I wanted to marry you so much. None of the other boys knew how to pick stars out of the sky.”
I scramble to sit upright in the hammock, causing it to sway and almost toss us onto the ground. Regaining my grip on the insubstantial material, I right us, but the whole action has us swinging back and forth. Genna groans at the motion.
“What else do you remember?”
She releases me and raises her hand to her head. “Tomatoes. You loved tomatoes so much. And the Easter fair at Hampstead Heath. We rode the merry-go-round for nearly an hour. You took me on a picnic at a sheep farm.” She laughs. “But you didn’t realize the ram was out.”