by Liz Gavin
His fingers massaging her scalp indicated the kind of plans he had for them. Closing her eyes and savoring the sensations, she had no objections to those plans. She just needed to put her act together.
As if reading her thoughts, he teased her. “Ready when you are. Or should I go first?”
“I doubt you have anything dark in your past, you’re always so positive and sunny.”
“Sunny?”
“Yeah, that’s how I see you. You make everyone feel special, you always have positive things to say about people. You’re warm and kind, like the sun.”
“Must be because I’m a Leo?”
His goofy smile was irresistible. She swatted his chest and kept him at arm’s length when he began to lean towards her. “Yeah, right. Like you believe in this stuff. I do, but I know for a fact you don’t.”
“I was proving your point. I know you believe in astrology, so I was being nice to you.”
“You were making fun of me, that’s not proving my point. You’re also very bad at receiving compliments, Mr. Cartwright. That’s probably why you were dismissing mine.”
He sobered up, took her hand to his mouth and kissed its back. “Guilty as charged. My apologies.”
“That’s okay. I’d love to hear your story first, though.”
“Coward,” he teased her and took a long sip from his glass. Then, resting the glass on the table, he turned to face her. “You’re right, actually. There’s nothing sinister in my past. I grew up in a house full of love. My parents had this annoying habit of getting along well, as opposed to my friends’ parents who were either divorcing or getting restraining orders against each other. I mean, all my friends dealt with serious problems in their families. Mom and Dad, despite being huge Hollywood names, had the closest to a perfect marriage I’ve ever seen.”
When he stopped to drink another sip of wine, she couldn’t resist teasing him. “That must have sucked.”
“It sounds cheesy, I know. I tell you this because the only bad thing that happened to me then was intimately connected with my parents’ marital bliss. You see, I believed I found my one true love, when I was nineteen. Unfortunately, she decided to come back to her hometown when she finished her undergrad program. We met at UCLA. We were on and off for a couple of years and when Brenda told me she was returning to Florianópolis, I thought it was just another off period. I bought a wedding ring, got admitted to a university here and came over.”
“Oh, no!”
“Yeah, you guessed right. It didn’t turn out that well for me. I tracked her down and popped up as she was having lunch. Before she could say anything, I dropped to my knee and asked her to marry me. I didn’t know she was at the restaurant with her fiancé, who had stepped out to take a business call. He didn’t like finding me at his future wife’s feet. When I told her she couldn’t marry a guy she had just met, since she had returned to Brazil less than six months before, the guy snorted and informed me that they had grown up together and got engaged two years earlier.”
Noah stopped talking and his expression was distant, but not hurt. Ana waited for him to finish his story. She didn’t have anything to offer at that point.
With a shrug, he resumed his tale, “Funny, this used to hurt so bad. Not today, though. I guess when you’re nineteen and believe you’ve found the one person you want to share your life with, and this person turns out to be nothing like you thought she was, the feeling of betrayal shakes your foundations. Back then, I really believed I’d never find another woman I loved as much as I loved Brenda.” He paused again, but this time as if for effect. His eyes held Ana’s and she gasped at the emotions she thought she saw in them. She didn’t want to believe her intuition. His next words left little room for doubt. “I was naïve to believe my life was over at twenty. I have been careless with other people’s hearts for the last fifteen years. In my defense, I’ve never lied to a woman or gave her false hope. But, I guess I broke a couple of hearts without intending to.” Cupping her cheeks in both his hands, Noah pulled Ana close, but didn’t kiss her. Instead, he caressed her cheeks with his thumbs as he concluded his story. “That was until a certain redhead with endless, gorgeous legs turned my life upside down. And it’s nothing new. For the last four years, you’ve gradually occupied my mind, but in such a stealth way I didn’t realize until now. Maybe it’s the notion you might quit the restaurant after graduation. I’m not sure what triggered me, but lately, I can’t stop thinking about you.”
When he stopped talking, she did the only thing a woman could do under those circumstances. Kissed him silly. Noah was glad to respond with the same abandon, but kept a certain distance. Although their mouths were linked and their tongues caressed each other, Noah didn’t touch any other part of her body. Ana locked her arms behind his back and tried to bring him closer, but he wouldn’t budge. Frustrated, she broke the kiss.
“What’s wrong?”
“I want to know your story. If I let this make-out session get out of control, I might never hear it.”
“Good point. I’ll give you the highlights because the whole thing would take too long, but you’ll be able to get the main points. I come from a traditional family in São Paulo, in the sense my ancestors were among the first settlers who came over from Portugal. That means centuries of political relations and business enterprises.”
“Also known as old money.”
“Very old, although not so much money recently. Still, for Brazilian standards, my family is wealthy,” Ana hesitated about how much of her marital status it would be wise to tell Noah at that point, without having to go into details about her crime. She decided to play it safe. “My father wanted to attract a billionaire business partner and thought pimping out his young daughter was a healthy decision. In my defense, I wasn’t aware of my father’s hand in the matter until much later. I thought Paulo cared for me and was flattered that a man, fifteen years my senior, found me attractive. The boys in college paled in comparison to him. I fell head over heels in love with him, but I was too naïve to see the signs.”
She stopped to gather her thoughts. Revisiting that painful period, even if in a much lighter version, was nerve-wracking.
Noah collected her in his arms and sat them side by side, tucking her under his arm, resting his chin on her head. Hugging her tightly, he comforted her, “I can guess where this is going, sweetie. The first time I found out you took Krav Maga classes, I thought something bad must have happened to you. Floripa is such a peaceful city for women to take that kind of self-defense class. Just tell me whatever you feel comfortable sharing.”
A warmth started in her abdomen and spread through her body at the kindness in his voice and the gentleness in the way he touched her. His caresses aimed at soothing, not arousing. He switched from passionate to compassionate lover in the blink of an eye.
“I appreciate your understanding. It’s uncomfortable and painful, but it’s also embarrassing. So, not looking at you will help.”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because he raised her chin with an index finger until their eyes met. His furled brow showed his concern. “There’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about. It’s me you’re talking to.”
“I like the way it feels when you’re holding me, with your chin on my head.”
“That’s a sneaky tactic to get your way, miss. I see right through you,” he feigned exasperation, but folded his arms around her again and resumed the position.
She did enjoy it, but it also made her feel less self-conscious. In the last couple of hours, Noah had proven to be an excellent reader of people, at least of her. She feared he would pick up on her half-truths if he watched her facial expressions closely.
“Not long into our relationship, he turned abusive. At first, it was only verbal. He’d make derogatory comments about my appearance and intelligence. Then, he turned to physical violence. You’ve got to understand, we never discussed relationships in my family and I had studied in a boarding school for girls in Switzerland
until a year or so before I started dating him. I had no idea of what went on between a couple. My expectations were born from reading romance novels that my tutors in school and my mom called trash. My dad knew him well and was ecstatic about our relationship. I thought Paulo was a good man, so the problem must have been me. That’s what I believed, for the longest time.”
“No way,” Noah made her look at him again, but she didn’t feel uncomfortable as she had expected. On the contrary, his eyes filled with compassion soothed her pain. “I get that a young, inexperienced girl would take shit from a grown man. But, your folks should’ve known better. I bet you had bruises.”
“The son of a bitch knew where to hit without leaving visible marks. You’re right, though. It took me a long time to understand I couldn’t count on my own mom and dad. Even if they didn’t see Paulo was abusive, they should have seen the other signs. I lost weight and sleep. I became increasingly insecure and indecisive. I didn’t recognize myself, so I thought others close to me wouldn’t either.”
He kissed the tip of her nose, then brushed his lips over hers. More of a reassuring gesture than a passionate one. She basked in the feeling, closed her eyes for a moment, then snuggled back against his chest. She was fast becoming addicted to the smell of his cologne coming through the warm material of his shirt.
“You found a way to get rid of the piece of shit.”
Thankful for the out he offered her, Ana wrapped up her story, “I got smarter, kicked his ass goodbye and moved as far away from all of them as I could.”
“You been in contact with your folks? I know you’ve never visited them, though.”
Bent on not lying to him, just hiding part of the facts, she spoke the truth, “I haven’t forgiven them yet.”
“Why here?”
“My family spent a couple of summers in Armação, when I was a kid. That place is magical. It left me with such an impression that every time I needed to find my happy place, my mind would go there. I did a lot of yoga meditation before I kicked Paulo out of my life, so coming here was the easiest choice I had to make.”
“I hear you. That promontory with those rocks has special powers.”
She chuckled, remembering a habit she developed in the first months she moved to Floripa and lived in the staff dorm, before renting her apartment. He would call her crazy if she told him about it.
“What?”
“What, what?” she pretended she didn’t know what he was asking.
He nudged her. “Don’t play dumb. Why did you laugh? You were thinking of something funny. You know I love funny stuff.”
“It’s not funny, just stupid. But, I know you’ll torment me until you wrench the story out of me.”
He nodded several times, eyes popped open, tongue stuck out like a cartoon puppy.
“You’re lucky you’re adorable because you can be such a pain in the ass, Noah Cartwright.”
“Made you smile. Mission accomplished.”
“For the longest time, when I still lived in the restaurant dorm, I’d walk over to the promontory after my shift, sit on the rocks and just absorb the peace of those surroundings.”
She couldn’t see his face now that she was tucked under his chin again, but his voice sounded sincere. “The sound of the waves breaking against the rocks below, the seagulls crying as they swoop around, the smell of the ocean coming on the wind. It’s always windy there.”
“Exactly. You described my favorite things about that place.”
“These are the things that made me stay.” She tried to move her head to look at him, but he kept her ear pressed to his heart. It was beating like crazy. “Those rocks healed me, in a way. They sure helped the process. I fell for Floripa, but that promontory cast the spell.” He paused and let her look at him.
She wasn’t ready for the avalanche of emotions she found in his eyes. She didn’t know what to say, so she raised her hand and rested her palm on his cheek. He turned and kissed it.
“It’s going to sound so cheesy, perhaps because it is, but I’m starting to believe in destiny. I mean, remember Floripa is nicknamed magical island, right? What are the odds that the same exact spot in the whole island had the same effects on both of us, when we needed it the most? I could’ve gone back home after I found out Brenda was a lying bitch. You could’ve gone anywhere in the world, but you chose my restaurant. I’ve got to believe in magic.”
“I like the way you think.” She brought his face to hers and kissed him gently.
He invited her in, caressed her tongue with his, then pinched her lower lip between his teeth. Her gasp of surprise was muffled when he covered her mouth again, this time with passion and hunger. She scraped his scalp as his hands kneaded her breasts. Both moaned when his fingers teased her nipples over the thin silk material of her dress.
She broke their kiss, got up and stretched out her hand for him. He grabbed it and she guided him to her bedroom.
“Before we go any further, I’d like to say one last thing.”
He froze, a serious expression on his face. “What’s that, love?”
“Despite what people may think of me at Chez Nous, I’m not a party girl. I haven’t been in a relationship since that disaster and I don’t go out as often as it may seem.”
A slow, but sweet smile graced his lips. “You trying to tell me, very shyly I might add, that you haven’t had sex in a while?”
She felt her face burn and nodded. She didn’t trust her voice. When she finally found it, it was little more than a whisper. “Don’t remember when the last time was.”
She dropped her chin to her chest and before she knew it, she was wrapped in Noah. His scent and warmth enveloped her, she felt like melting against his strength. Closing her arms around his waist, she nuzzled the center of his wide chest.
“Not to worry. We’ll go as slow or as fast as you want. Or we don’t go at all. It’s your call, babe. There’s no rush.”
That sounded like the caring Noah she had come to know. Still, she was moved. “Thanks. If you don’t mind, can we just cuddle for a little while?”
“You kidding me? Cuddling with you is all I had planned for tonight.”
“Yeah, right,” she agreed, eyeing the bulge in his pants.
“The little guy down there has a mind of his own. That or he didn’t get the memo.”
Fully clothed, they lay on the covers, facing each other. After a little while, inside the warmth of his embrace and feeling his stubbled chin grazing her forehead, Ana relaxed. She chose not to overthink the reasons why she felt safe. She owned the feeling and relished in it. The thought that Noah’s arms made her feel that way crossed her mind, just to be left aside. She didn’t want to dwell on that, dissect it, as was usually the case with her. Tonight, she yearned to explore possibilities. It seemed like his ever-present optimistic take on life had rubbed off on her. She wanted to learn to be as carefree.
For the first time in forever, she allowed herself to dream there might be a happily ever after for her. Her silly heart somersaulted at the prospect of spending the rest of her life with Noah Cartwright. She was aware of his mercurial personality and was positive he would be a rock superstar. Soon. Not only because his band had his parents contacts to kick start a career, but because they were talented as hell. She had seen them at social functions, like the Christmas parties for the restaurant staff. It was just a matter of time until the world was at their feet. And women would be lining outside his dressing room. Or hotel room. Tons of groupies.
As if reading her mind and trying to distract her from murderous thoughts, Noah’s caresses turned from soothing to arousing. His long fingers, that moments ago smoothed the back of her dress, fading away the day’s worries, had found their way between said dress and her bare skin and were wreaking havoc with her senses. His warm breath fanned her neck seconds before he touched a sensitive spot just below her earlobe. She moaned when his wet tongue licked it as his lips sucked her skin. The exquisite sensations flooded her min
d, washing away the last rational thoughts. She speared her fingers through his soft hair, gently caressing the scalp beneath it.
His voice was rough when he whispered into her ear, “I want you so much it hurts. I’ve never felt this way about a woman,” he pulled away to lock eyes with her. If she ever doubted his words, his stare told all she needed to know to recognize he was sincere. Desire shone bright in his expression and his quick breathing denounced the effect she had on his senses. If she still doubted her eyes, his hard-on throbbed against her belly, even beneath the layers of clothes covering them both. That was undeniable proof. “I need to be sure you want to do this, though. And I need to know it now. I don’t know that I’ll be able to stop if you change your mind later. You’re killing me as it is.”
The broad smile he offered her blasted to oblivion the last remaining walls of that fortress she had so carefully built around her heart over the last four years. She took the proverbial leap of faith, nodded and kissed him.
“I need to hear the words, Ana,” he muttered against her lips.
Closing her eyes, she fought the idea that there was no safety net for her after she took that leap. It certainly felt like jumping off a cliff as she searched his eyes for lenience. Was she ready to say the words? Was she prepared not to say them, though?
“I’m sure.” She offered him her answer to learn that his welcoming arms were all the safety she needed. They pulled her in as if he never intended to let her go and she savored the feeling.
His lips on hers as his weight pinned her to the mattress dissipated any logical thoughts. Her body and mind surrendered to the sensations his hands created as they rubbed her breasts, making her nipples hard and her sex wet. When he pulled her dress over her head and tossed it to the floor, she responded in kind, wrapping her legs around his narrow hips and locking her feet behind his back, pulling him down. Her hands bunched his shirt up, needing to feel his skin against hers.
“I want you inside me. Right now,” she demanded when his lips left her mouth for her breasts. Her hand reached between their bodies and cupped his hard cock, squeezing it lightly over the soft flannel of his slacks.