SHIVER: 13 Sexy Tales of Humor and Horror

by Liv Morris

  But the other guy shook his head. “Sorry ladies, you’re not on here. Back of the line.”

  I piped up then and only God knew why. “But he vouched for us. We’re vouched!”

  The other guy shrugged. “Maybe you got your wires mixed. Maybe it wasn’t for tonight.”

  I placed a hand on my hip. “Of course it was for tonight. He vouched for us. Hell, I’d vouch for us! Look at us!” I waved my hand out to my friends… who looked like a bunch of cowering kittens in a dark alley.

  Nice job, guys. Nailed it.

  The other guy opened his mouth to speak, and then I suddenly remembered. “Tina Leokov vouches for us too.”

  Hot security guy asked through narrowed eyes, “You know the Leokovs?”

  I shook my head. “No. Just Tina.” I didn’t know why, but I decided to curtsey. “She helped me find this dress. I shop at her store.”

  The security guy’s eyes slid down my body. He rumbled, “It’s a nice dress.” And I felt my heart race.

  Whoa. Finding it hard to breathe over here.

  I stuttered, “Th- thank you.” I relay what Tina told me. “While I was there, she told me if I needed someone to vouch for me, she’d do it. She also told me she and Nik own part of Frost and that she even helped name it.”

  I felt all eyes on me.

  My friends looked at me through wide eyes.

  “What?” They gaped at me. I blurted out, “I know people!”

  Although the other guy looked torn, he held up his ledger. “If you’re not on the list, I can’t let you in. Sorry, ladies. Maybe Tina can vouch for you next weekend.”

  My face fell.

  I smiled sadly and muttered, “That’s okay. I know you’re just doing your job.” As we turned to walk away, I lifted my hand to the security guy and mouthed, “Bye,” forcing a smile.

  A rough, “Wait,” stopped us.

  Snatching the ledger from the other guy, the security guy looked over the page. “Wouldn’t you know it? You’re on the list.”

  The other guy and all the girls asked a confused, “What?”

  Security guy nodded. “Yep. Right here. Welcome to Frost.”

  The other guy argued, “I looked. Twice. They’re not on-”

  Security guy pinned him with a glare so fierce that he stopped talking mid-sentence. When he looked back up at us, he smiled a thin smile, “I was wrong, apparently. You’re on the list.”

  Stacey let out a long breath. “See? I told you! Let’s go.”

  But I couldn’t take my eyes off of the security guy, and from the way he looked back at me, I knew something was happening here.

  Something big.

  While the girls headed inside, I stuck my hand out without a thought. “I’m Emma.”

  Security guy looked down at my extended hand a moment before taking it in the giant mitt he called a hand. “Bastien.”

  I shook his hand and smiled softly in a daze. “Hi Bastien. I’m Emma.”

  At that, his lips twitched. “Hi Emma. I’m Bastien.”

  Still shaking his hand, I told him, “Bastien is a badass name. Which makes sense, because you seem like a badass with all your muscles and broodiness and such.”

  He didn’t release my hand. Just responded, “I’ll have to tell my parents they did good.”

  My smile widened. “Yes. You do that.”

  His body shook in silent laughter. “I will.”

  A hand pulled at me. Stacey stood there looking at me with an expression that said ‘I’m not sure what the hell you’re doing’. “Come on, Em. Let the nice man go before he changes his mind.”

  I barked out another laugh, spooking Bastien once again. I looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I should let go now.”

  But as I moved to pull away, he held me firm. “I like you, Emma.”

  My heart fluttered. I blinked a moment before I responded quietly, “I like you too Bastien. I think.”

  Finally, we parted but it was only as I walked inside that I realised a piece of paper was in my hand.

  A piece of paper with a phone number on it.

  ***

  The very next day, I sent Bastien a message.

  Me: Hi Bastien. It’s Emma.

  I wasn’t sure what else to write so I left it at that.

  Bastien: Hi Emma. It’s Bastien.

  I laughed through my response.

  Me: Ha! It’s funny because that’s what we did last night.

  My phone chimed a second later.

  Bastien: I know. I was there.

  Oh dear lord, I wanted to see him again. Now. Right now. Before I lost my nerve, I asked him out.

  Me: If you’re free, I’d love to meet you for lunch? On me :)

  His response was immediate.

  Bastien: I can’t do lunch. Sorry.

  My heart fell. That sucked.

  Maybe I only imagined the chemistry from last night.

  My phone chimed once more.

  Bastien: Dinner tonight?

  I bit my lip and typed as fast as I could.

  Me: I’d love that! What time?

  He told me he’d pick me up at nine. We exchanged details, he picked me up and took me to a nice little Sushi bar. We ate, talked and laughed. A lot.

  Bastien was funny. He had a dry sense of humour I loved, and I was comfortable with him from the second he picked me up. There was no awkwardness. As soon as I opened the door, he smiled down at me, took my hands and tugged me to him, pulling me close and hugging me. While he squeezed me, I kissed him on the cheek and told him how handsome he looked (and he did). He told me I looked exquisite.

  He used that word.

  Exquisite.

  Can you imagine?

  Swoon.

  As soon as we left my apartment, I took his hand, entwining our fingers together like we had done it a hundred times before. We held hands all night, and if we had to separate for any reason, Bastien made sure he had a hand on me at all times.

  It was so sweet, and super hot.

  I would imagine Bastien would be a possessive male. And I had no problem with that.

  When our date ended, we took ourselves back to my apartment where we talked some more about work, friends and family.

  Bastien’s family were originally from France. No wonder. He looked like he had culture.

  I told him my family were All-American, and he didn’t cringe. Point for me.

  He told me he was thirty-four, that he had two sisters and a brother, both parents still alive and kicking.

  I told him I was twenty-nine, an only child with my parents both alive and happily married. I told him about Stacey being my best friend since forever and our other two stooge friends, Laura and Ally.

  He told me about ‘the other guy’, Stu, his cousin and more about his close friendship with the Leokovs. Turns out he knows Tina personally.

  And wouldn’t you know it? She vouched for me.

  Two points for me.

  We stayed up way past midnight chatting while subtly touching. Eventually, he stood up to leave. As I walked him through the door, my chest began to ache.

  I was starting to feel depressed. And as though he felt the same way, he pulled me into a warm hug, cradling the back of my head in consolation. “I want to see you again.”

  As I buried my face into the crook of his neck, I whispered, “Okay.”

  He asked, “Tomorrow too soon?”

  I sighed. “Heck no.”

  As he pulled away, he took my hands in his and explained that because of the late nights he works, he normally sleeps till late afternoon so he’d be free after dark.

  I could understand that.

  My dad worked shift work so I knew how it could be to deal with someone deprived of sleep.

  It was like trying to wake the dead.

  His green eyes searched my face. He lowered his face to mine and as if it were the most natural thing in the world, we kissed. Long and slow.

  I felt that kiss.

  I felt it everywhere
.

  It was electric and I didn’t want it to end.

  He kissed me deeper, making love to my lips. When we parted, he pecked my lips repeatedly and whispered against them, “You make my heart beat.”

  And I knew what he meant.

  Not being able to stop myself, I lifted my hands, cupped his cheeks and brought him forward to my flushed face, lowering his lips to mine.

  He tasted sweet and cool, like mint chocolate.

  I could get used to that. I loved mint chocolate.

  I wanted more of it.

  Bastien Lee was a drug.

  And I was addicted.

  ***

  Three months had passed and Bastien was still my drug of choice.

  Early in our relationship we worked on seeing each other as often as possible. This was made possible by the fact that we were committed to making that happen. Even on the nights he worked at the club, he would take a break, come down to my apartment, break in and shower me with kisses and affection for a solid hour then go back to work.

  I had never had a man treat me like this before, like I was his everything.

  It was confusing, and exhilarating, and scary as hell.

  What was I to do with this?

  The only thing I could.

  Give as good as I got.

  A month into our relationship, I told Bastien I was falling in love with him while watching The Price is Right. Face blank, he toyed with my fingers and asked, “Just now?”

  Okay, so it had been a lot earlier that I had discovered my love for Bastien, but I wasn’t bat-shit crazy enough to tell him that.

  I responded, “I don’t know exactly when but I know it now. For sure.”

  He lowered his face to mine, curled a hand behind my neck and pulled me close till our noses touched. He roughly admitted, “I fell in love with you the second you forced an introduction. I wasn’t letting you get away. Even if you never called, I would’ve made it my mission to find you again and convince you to go out with me.”

  This admission shook me.

  Being who I am, I teased, “Oh yeah? And what if I said no.”

  He pressed a light kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I would’ve worn you down, baby.”

  I swallowed hard, my eyes closed tight. “This is going to sound crazy. I mean, it sounds crazy to me. But sometimes I think I was meant to- I don’t know- find you or something. Like-” I opened my eyes, pleading with him to understand. I whispered, “Like we were-”

  I faded out, knowing it was crazy. And guys didn’t dig crazy on a lady.

  So when he continued where I left off and uttered, “Like we were meant to be.”

  I begged my mouth to stop saying things then. Thankfully, I didn’t say another word.

  Instead, Bastien made it his turn to speak. “Never believed in that shit.”

  And my heart sank.

  Stupid mouth with the saying things and such!

  I pretended to watch TV while suffering from the biggest heart palpitations known to man, otherwise known as a broken heart.

  When he kissed my temple, I leaned into it. He added low enough for me to hear, “Never believed in that shit…till now.”

  My heart kick-started with a vengeance.

  I lowered my head to his chest, closed my eyes and basked in the silence around us.

  Really.

  That should’ve been my first clue.

  ***

  Two months into our relationship, Bastien came. And he never left.

  We never discussed moving in together, it just sort of happened.

  Stacey, Laura and Ally wholly approved. They loved Bastien as much as I did. Mainly because Frost was now open to us every weekend if we chose to attend and Bastien always made sure me and my girls were looked after. He checked on us, made sure our drinks were filled and at the end of the night, he’d have Stu drive us home to save us taxi fare.

  The girls loved him.

  They’d said it once, they’d said it a thousand times.

  The guy is too good to be true.

  I agreed wholeheartedly.

  And when they say something is too good to be true…

  They’re usually right.

  ***

  On our third month anniversary, I came home to find Bastien asleep.

  This was not unusual. He was a night owl, and that didn’t bother me. I didn’t run on ten hours sleep so when I got home from work, I’d make us dinner and soon after dark, he’d wake. We would talk about my day as well as what him night would entail, eat and drink, make sweet, sweet love then Bastien would hold me as I fell asleep.

  The worst part about Bastien’s work was that his weekends were shot. The best part about Bastien’s work was that he was working three nights a week and earning the same amount most people would for two weeks. He was kind of well off. He knew I wasn’t. That didn’t bother him, but he knew it bothered me when he paid for things that were my responsibility.

  And the sneaky shit would do it all after I’d fallen asleep.

  After a heated argument, Bastien gave in. And to say I was pleased was an understatement. “Fine,” he said. “I won’t use my money to pay for things anymore.”

  That was when he pulled out a ring box and placed it on the table right in front of me.

  That surely wasn’t what I thought it could be. I mean, come on! It was too soon. We had only known each other three months!

  Face void, he opened the box. And I gasped. “Oh my God.”

  Taking the box, he moved to kneel in front of me. “Been carrying this around for two months.” He took my left hand, slid the antique sapphire ring onto my ring finger and muttered, “If you like it then you gotta put a ring on it.”

  Did he really just say that?

  A hysterical laugh broke out of me. “Oh Jesus, you are such a dork.”

  He grinned and I realised – again – how in love I was. He lost his usual confidence as he looked up at me and uttered, “Let me take care of you, Em. Forever.”

  Tears prickled my eyes. I returned, “Only if I can take care of you too.”

  He couldn’t contain his beaming smile. “Deal.”

  And that was how Bastien and I got engaged.

  ***

  We decided on a long engagement. Which, of course, meant we got married a month later.

  Our parents and friends weren’t thrilled about our rush wedding but somehow, we managed to get our loved ones into a room long enough to say our ‘I do’s’. It was a small ceremony and by the end of it, every person was smiling. I hoped they could all feel the love Bastien and I felt for each other.

  It was only my grandmother who asked, “So, is she pregnant or what?”

  I should’ve been offended, but I wasn’t. I’d love to have Bastien’s children. Heck, I’d love an army of them!

  I was simply overwhelmed by the fact that I was no longer Emma Stanford, but Emma Lee.

  ***

  Two more months had passed and Bastien and I were living a comfortable routine.

  I never got to see him during the day unless it was to lie next to him while he slept – like a log, I’ll add – but it never bothered me. It wasn’t like I didn’t spent most of my days at work. So what if he slept his Saturdays and Sundays away?

  It gave me time to catch up on trashy reality TV and get some cleaning done.

  All in all, our opposite routine was working for us.

  As soon as he woke, he kissed me senseless, worshipped me and made me feel like a goddess. He bought me flowers for no reason, got me gifts simply because he thought they reminded him of me and told me he loved me all the time.

  I was a lucky woman to have a man like Bastien Lee, and I knew it.

  Bastien had never given me reason to worry about another woman coming in and taking my place, so when I walked in on him making out with another guy, you could say I was kind of surprised.

  The Conflict

  Gross

  Tonight is going to be amazing.


  My plan in place, I set out to Frost dressed only in thigh high stockings with lace trim, my red pumps, new steaming-hot lingerie and a trench coat. I’ve done all I need to get ready for this occasion. My makeup is subtle but sexy, I smell fresh as a daisy and I am hair-free where I need to be.

  I’m ready.

  I giggle to myself.

  This is so naughty!

  Today was our six-month anniversary, our two-month wedding anniversary and even though we’ve never celebrated anything big before, I’ve decided to bring the party to Bastien. Even if it’ll only be for an hour of mind-blowing sex.

  Is there anything better than sharing a perfect celebration with the person you love most in the world?

  I think not.

  Tina helped me set the whole thing up. Who knew she had it in her to be a saucy little wench?

  I thought I was bad, but apparently Tina has been known to call emergency meetings with her husband, Nik, at his office.

  The emergency being that Tina is horny.

  She’s become such a good friend. I’m so glad to know her better.

  I woke this morning to a brand new platinum diamond bracelet on my wrist. It had one pendant attached. A simple love heart with a ruby on one side and a sapphire on the other.

  Bastien doesn’t do cards. He never has. But with a gift like that, who needs a card?

  I knew what it meant.

  We were two halves of a whole. And nothing could make me happier.

  Maybe one day I’d add a diamond at the bottom of that pendant.

  It’s no secret that I want children. I want enough to have my own soccer team. I love kids and from seeing Bastien interact with his nieces and nephews, he loves them just as much as I do.

  I stopped taking birth control a month ago. My doctor told me getting pregnant is easy for some but with others can take months. I’m in no rush. I’m happy to wait. Sure, I’m helping the process by jumping Bastien every spare chance I get, but other than that, I’m happy to let nature take its course.

  The taxi drops me off right outside the club and as I step out, more of my thigh shows than I’m used to. I smirk, feeling sexy as hell when a club bystander whistles at me.