SHIVER: 13 Sexy Tales of Humor and Horror

by Liv Morris

  “I’m not sure who exactly you think you are, Donna, but, newsflash, you’re not my mother and I can wear whatever in the hell I want,” I murmured.

  “What?”

  I turned my head and glared at her over my shoulder. “You heard me.”

  She threw her hands up and fell back on the bed. “Fine. Fine! Just don’t come whining to me when one of the werewolves actually does hump your leg like a dog. Those guys can’t control themselves, especially around boobs. I swear their brains must be more canine than human.”

  I rolled my eyes. I’d met several werewolves since the day that they helped rescue my friends and me from the clutches of evil vampires. I know, it sounds like a bad movie script, but those fuckers planned to chop us up and send us back to Donna and Conner piece by piece. It didn’t seem much like a B movie at the time.

  Anyway, all the werewolves I’d met were great. Sure, they were usually a little more aggressive than the average guy, but, if I was being completely honest, it gave me a tingle in all my naughty places.

  “Donna, just shut up and tell me if I look wenchy enough,” I said, turning around with my arms held out.

  Under my leather bustier, I wore a sheer white shirt with billowing sleeves, tight breeches, and knee high boots. My hair was styled in a wild tangle of curls. All I needed now was my low-riding leather belt that held a scabbard for my cutlass. I was supposed to be a pirate wench, a la Cutthroat Island. I loved Geena Davis’ character in that movie. I also liked the saucy feeling the outfit gave me.

  Donna looked me over, sighed, and rolled to her feet. “If you looked any more wenchy, I’d have to lock you up to keep you out of trouble.” Face serious, she walked over to me and rested her hands on my shoulders. “Look, I want you to have fun tonight, but you need to be careful who you flirt with. Everyone that was invited tonight is a friend and will be nice to you, but the dynamic among the species is different here. Flirtation can be misconstrued.” She paused. “Also, I’m serious, watch out for the wolves. They will literally screw anything that moves. I’ve seen them hook up with two, three, even four women at these parties.”

  I nodded. I wasn’t here to flirt. Okay, maybe a little. I honestly wasn’t interested in dating a werewolf because their attitude toward monogamy sounded a little too much like my dad’s and my ex’s, but I wasn’t averse to a mild, casual flirtation with a vampire. Maybe even a kiss or two that would make me weak in the knees. Even though I was twenty-eight, I wasn’t exactly ready to settle down, especially with someone who’s dick was like a divining rod for easy pussy.

  “I understand,” I said. “Don’t hook up with werewolves. I’ll write that on my hand so I don’t forget, Mama Donna. Hey, that rhymes!”

  Donna ignored the comment and studied me closely, the expression on her face skeptical.

  “I understand!” I repeated.

  She shook her head and replied, “Just call my name when things go wrong and I’ll ride to the rescue.”

  I glared at her, not appreciating her lack of faith in me, even if she did have a point. “Whatever.”

  I was saved from further conversation by the peal of the doorbell. Donna released me and headed out of the bedroom. Before she walked out the door, she turned and pointed a finger at me. “Best behavior, got it?”

  Without waiting for my response, she whirled and headed down the hall. Unable to resist, I made a face at the open door.

  Donna’s voice floated into the room from the hallway. “I know what you just did!”

  Groaning, I grabbed my belt and scabbard from the bed and cinched it around my hips. After one last quick check in the mirror, I hurried out of the room. I’d come over early to help Donna with the set up. Conner had a party planner he preferred to use, but I knew that Donna wasn’t overly fond of the woman’s flirty and aggressive attitude. As a result, the party had been planned by my friend. I helped her as much as possible, but Donna was a bit of a control freak and it was difficult for her to loosen her grip.

  Satisfied that I looked okay, I picked up the cutlass from the bed and slid it into the sheath hanging from my belt. Then I walked downstairs to help Donna finish setting up for the party.

  ***

  Two hours later, the party was heading into full swing. Donna had released me from hostess duties and Conner had dragged her out onto the dance floor of the ballroom. I snaked my way through the crowd to the bar and ordered a vodka tonic. Donna insisted that all her friends either stay the night or use a car service to get home. I’d opted for a car service. I drove my ancient compact over this afternoon and Donna promised she would have one of Conner’s lackeys bring it by the next day so I could drink and enjoy myself.

  Though I loved spending time with my girlfriends, I could not handle all the loud sex that seemed to occur on a regular basis at Donna’s. There was some things I didn’t need to know about my bestie and the fact that she was a screamer was one of them. I really didn’t want to know that, much less experience it.

  I saw Shannon standing at the bar, deep in conversation with a tall, handsome vampire with jet black hair and Native American features. He was dressed in black and had an earbud in one ear. I realized he was one of the vamps on security duty. Since Shannon worked in administration for a personal security company, I figured they were talking business.

  She glanced at me as I slid by and I winked at her. Shannon didn’t even pause, merely gave me a finger wave, and continued to talk to the vampire who seemed to be completely enthralled with her. It seemed even vampires weren’t immune to her good looks and general badassery.

  Shaking my head, I sipped my drink and watched a group of handsome men diversely dressed in everything from sharp suits to ragged jeans and I decided that I should introduce myself. Ignoring the echo of Donna’s overprotective spiel in my mind, I squared my shoulders and moved toward them. As I strolled across the room, I felt as though I were being watched. Surreptitiously, I glanced around.

  At first, I didn’t see anyone openly staring, but, on my second sweep of the crowd, my eyes were caught by two brilliant green gems shimmering in the shadows. I blinked several times, wondering how I hadn’t noticed a jeweled statue in the ballroom before. The crowd between us shifted, parting slightly, and I realized I wasn’t staring at a statue, but at a flesh and blood man with the most incredible eyes I had ever seen. That was saying something, considering Conner had a pair of blue eyes that seemed to see straight into your soul and his friend Finn’s eyes were such a deep purple you could barely stand to meet his gaze. Was it vampire law that they could only change gorgeous men with unearthly eyes? If so, I definitely approved.

  I sucked in a shaky breath as my eyes ran down the man’s taut, athletic frame. He wasn’t as tall as most of the men in the party, but his very presence seemed to expand, making him seem larger than he truly was. He wore a pair of dark, ragged jeans and a black oxford shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows. While he didn’t seem bulky, I could see the definition in his forearms from twenty feet away.

  I swallowed hard and realized my throat was dry as dust. I managed to tear my eyes away from the beautiful man and lift my drink with a shaky hand. After a quick sip, I forced myself not to look back to that corner and continued on my way to the group of gorgeous vampires that were now watching me with blatant appreciation.

  I was here for some fun and maybe a little flirting. One look into those intense green eyes and I knew that anything I might have with that beautiful man wouldn’t be fun or light. It would be intense, overwhelming, and likely rough. Those things sounded very appealing, except for the fact that he was almost certainly not human and I knew I wasn’t ready for a ride that wild.

  Unable to stop myself, I quickly glanced back toward where I’d seen the man. When I saw the corner was empty, I forced my body to relax and told myself I wasn’t disappointed in the least that he was gone. I figured I’d believe it by midnight if I kept repeating it to myself.

  Chapter Two- Calder

  I in
haled deeply as I watched her continue across the room. Even from twenty feet away, I could smell her. When our eyes met moments ago, I knew she didn’t know who I was. Seeing as we’d never actually met, it was unrealistic for me to expect her recognition. After the pack helped Conner and Lex rescue Ricki and her friends from the Faction months ago, I would remember her scent until the day I died.

  A low growl emerged from my throat and I quickly swallowed it as the wolves around me began to step away. Shit. Even in human form, the wolf within me saw her and he staked his claim. When the animal inside wanted something, he was difficult to control.

  I clenched my fist and shifted further back into the shadows, struggling to control the urge to charge across the ballroom and drag Ricki back to my room.

  Mine.

  I breathed slowly as the wolf snarled inside me. Usually, we got along fine. I rarely denied the animal half of myself, but, in this instance, I had to. Conner and Lex had both warned me to stay away from Donna’s friends. At first, I thought that promise would be easy to keep, until I saw her, smelled her, and realized what she was to me.

  MINE.

  I backed into the wall, pressing the base of my skull hard into the unforgiving surface. Over all the chatter, I heard the rich, sensual sound of her laughter and the internal war I waged ended abruptly. Warnings and promises be damned. That was my woman. I inhaled again, relishing her scent, knowing I would be able to pick her out of a crowd of thousands of people.

  The people around me shifted out of the way as I surged forward. I strode toward the group of vampires Ricki had been speaking to, only one thought in my mind.

  Mine.

  I paused when I realized she was no longer there. From the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of wild brown waves and I turned just as she vanished. Closing my eyes, I let my nose tell me which way to go. As the beta for my pack, I was one of the best trackers.

  I moved slowly through the crowd, using both my vision and sense of smell to tell me which way Ricki had gone. Now that I was following his wishes, the wolf inside me was once again calm and patient. We would find her together and make her ours.

  Twenty minutes later, I was no longer as calm or patient as my wolf. My skin felt hot and tight as I continued to track Ricki through the large house. I decided I would kick Conner’s ass the next time I saw him. If he didn’t have such a monstrosity of a home, I would have cornered my prey by now.

  I’d weaved my way throughout the entire ballroom, into the kitchen, upstairs to a bathroom, and back down to the hallway that led to the library. In each room, I smelled her, but had yet to lay eyes on Ricki.

  I kept my footsteps silent as I walked down the hall toward the library. A small sound caught my ear and I paused, listening. I heard the click of heels and smelled both woman and leather. It was her. After another quick sniff to determine whether or not she was alone, I smiled wickedly. My prey was within reach and she was by herself.

  Keeping my feet light and quiet, I entered the library and paused in the doorway, appreciating the view. I leaned my shoulder against the door jam and watched as Ricki bent over, reaching into the back of the small liquor cabinet.

  “Freaking picky ass vampires. Scotch aged 12 years isn’t good enough, huh? Well maybe these fucking knee high boots jammed up your ass will change your mind.”

  I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at the low diatribe flowing from within the cabinet.

  “Gotcha, you little bastard!” she said, backing out of the cabinet and straightening, a bottle of very old and very expensive Scotch in her hand. She turned and shrieked when she saw me, hugging the bottle to her chest. “Sweet Jesus!”

  I wanted to laugh, but all the blood drained from my skull straight into the crotch of my jeans. In the ballroom, I’d been too distracted by her scent and the sound of her voice to realize exactly how sexy she looked in the tight brown leather corset and pants. Now I couldn’t take my eyes off her incredible tits.

  I blinked when a small hand appeared in my face, fingers snapping rapidly.

  “Hey, they’re attached to a person, douche canoe, and the rest of me is right here.”

  I lifted my gaze to hers, which was worse, because her gorgeous brown eyes were snapping with fire and indignation and it was sexy as hell. Anger was like foreplay for wolves. We liked to rile up the female, then persuade her to channel that rage into something a whole lot more enjoyable for us both. I shifted slightly, hoping to alleviate the pressure behind my zipper.

  “Sorry,” I answered.

  She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “No, you’re not.”

  It took every ounce of control I could muster not to let my eyes wander down to the cleavage she flaunted with the change in her stance. Staring into her eyes without blinking, I answered, “Okay, I’m not. You put it on display, darlin’, and I’m just admiring the view.”

  She snorted. “Just what every girl dreams of hearing.” She tilted her head to the side, her dark eyes skeptical and searching. “Who are you?”

  I smiled slowly. “I’m Calder. And I already know you’re Ricki.”

  She scowled at me then paused. “Okay, what are you?”

  Admiring her guts, I rested a hip on the table next to me, my smile growing wider. I felt my fangs lengthen slightly. “I’m the Big Bad Wolf, baby, and I’m hungry.”

  I had a moment’s satisfaction when her eyes widened in shock. Then she wrapped her arms around her middle and began laughing uncontrollably. Not exactly the reaction I’d expected.

  Chapter Three- Ricki

  I gasped for breath as I giggled. Holy shit, this guy was too much. His golden good looks seemed to house the same douchey attitude I’d seen time and again from handsome men. I bent over, trying to stifle the laughter that poured out of me. It was a lost cause. With shaking hands, I set the very expensive bottle of scotch on the cabinet next to me. At this rate, I would drop it and owe Donna more money than I had in my bank account.

  Finally, I was able to control myself long enough to catch my breath. This damn corset was going to kill me. Between the laughing and snorting, the lack of oxygen was making me light-headed so I focused on getting air into my lungs. After a few minutes, I straightened and wiped tears from my cheeks.

  “Oh, you’re funny,” I managed to choke out, fanning my face. Donna had been correct, the werewolves were a horny bunch.

  His expression incredulous, he muttered, “I can’t believe this.”

  Amusement fled at his tone and I cocked my hip, resting my hand on it. It was the classic you’re-about-to-get-an-earful stance. “Look, I’m sure that super sexy smoldering look and Big Bad Wolf line work on all the other ladies, but I don’t keep my brain cells in my breasts. I know a line when I hear one.”

  He eyed me cautiously. “You’re not afraid of me?”

  “Should I be?” I fired back.

  Suddenly, he was no longer several feet away, but practically on top of me. Literally, in the blink of an eye, he moved across the room. I squeaked and tripped on my stilettos as I tried to back up. The one day I needed to be light on my feet, I would decide to wear hooker shoes. Shit.

  Calder grasped my elbows and tugged me into his body. Heat poured off him in waves and I found myself leaning toward him like a flower toward the sun. When I realized what I was doing, I brought my hands up and shoved at his chest. I tried to disguise my shudder when he didn’t budge even an inch.

  He lowered his face, pressing his nose against the delicate skin beneath my ear. I shook my head, trying to pull away.

  “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demanded.

  I heard him inhale deeply before he released a hot stream of air against my throat. I squirmed slightly as my nipples hardened. I blinked and tried to focus, but my body was suddenly very aware of exactly how wonderful Calder smelled and how even better his hard, muscular frame felt against mine.

  Hello? Arrogant werewolf sniffing you? Where’s your indignance?

>   Those thoughts broke the spell. I arched my back in an effort to put space between us. “Get off me!” When I heard him inhale yet again, I asked, “Are you freaking sniffing me like a dog?”

  That got his attention. Calder froze, his face still pressed into the crook of my neck. I jumped when sharp teeth nipped my skin.

  “Hey!” The slight sting jarred me out of my hormone haze, well, sort of. Maybe I was crazy, but the bite made my thighs tingle.

  “You’re not afraid,” he murmured into my ear, “you’re turned on.”

  When his teeth sank lightly into my earlobe, my eyes nearly rolled back into my head. I’d definitely lost the upper hand in this encounter. At the realization, my lids popped open and I reached up, shoving my hand into the back of Calder’s thick golden brown hair and giving it a hard yank.

  “Ouch!” he yelped.

  I swallowed a smile at the distinctly canine sound. Calder lifted his head and glared down at me, lifting a hand to rub the back of his head.

  “What was that for?” he growled.

  I blinked up at him, batting my eyelashes. “I told you to let me go. Since you weren’t listening to my words, I decided to get your attention another way.”

  Smiling ruefully, he released me and stepped away. “Sorry. Your mouth may have said no, but all I could smell was-“

  I poked him in the chest with my finger hard enough to make him flinch. “That’s enough of that,” I stated firmly.

  He shrugged, no longer the sensual, dangerous man from a few moments before. Instead he looked like a mischievous little boy. Okay, so maybe more like a horny teenager.

  My heart was still pounding and, even though I knew I should be angry and storm away, I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay and talk to him. This particular impulsive behavior might have been why Donna had told me to stay out of trouble. Ignoring the little voice that told me I was playing with fire, I moved away and hopped up on top of a nearby desk, letting my feet swing. “So, how did you know my name?”