by Jill Maguire
“Do you know what you will name the baby?”
“I haven’t thought much about it I guess,” Patience replied shaking her head. She wanted to avoid thinking about the future as much as possible but Warren and Faith were making it increasingly difficult.
As Patience finished fixing breakfast Faith left the fire to gather the men. Patience prayed silently in her heart. She felt a deep anxiety every time she considered the future and knew she could only find peace in God.
Father, please prepare me for what is ahead. I believe you have a plan for me, and for this baby. I want to take things one day at a time right now. Please take these fears and replace them with joy.
“Eat well Patience, we’re pushing on for a long stretch today,” Warren told Patience over breakfast. “There is some dried meat in the wagon for lunch, we won’t be stopping.” Warren’s tone was forthright and stern, but Patience knew his comments were born out of concern for her and the baby.
As soon as the men had finished eating and the supplies were neatly packed away, the wagon train set out to continue the journey towards Wyoming. Patience found herself quiet and prayerful as Warren surveyed some hills in the distance that Clive had warned were somewhat treacherous. Patience gulped down her fear at the sight of the looming landscape. Soon, the silence between them was broken when Warren interrupted her thoughts.
“Would you like to start our lessons again?” Warren wanted to hear Patience’s voice -- even if only to recite the letters of the alphabet and explain her childish drawings.
Patience nodded and turned to get her paper and pencil from where she had stowed them just behind the front bench.
Throughout the morning Patience quietly went over the first letters again, making Warren write them out one more time, before she moved on. They covered several letters that morning and as they rode across the bumpy terrain, Patience felt her spirits lighten. Warren too found himself starting to relax and began to genuinely enjoy the lesson. He felt guilty for the way he had snapped at Patience the day before.
Shortly after noon the train reached the foot of the hills. Clive rode down the line reminding each driver of the tips he had given them that morning; how to keep the wheels on track, and how to avoid the worst ruts. Warren gave Patience a confident smile to let her know that everything was going to be alright. He snapped the reins as they slowly started up the hill.
Chapter 10
Warren drove the horses nice and easy, not wanting to tire them out early on. From time to time he handed Patience the reins and jumped down to guide the horses over or around the more treacherous parts of the trail. Patience was nervous but enjoyed helping Warren as they worked their way over the terrain. An hour or so into the climb the wagon in front of them broke an axle and Warren found a safe, level place in the shade to pull the wagon aside. He climbed down to help the man.
“You stay here, Patience, rest,” Warren ordered. Patience sighed and sat back in her seat. She watched as Clive brought a new axle from another wagon and between the three men the axle was quickly repaired. The sun felt warm on her face and Patience closed her eyes briefly to enjoy the warmth of the waning day.
Two and a half hours into the hills they finally reached the top and stopped where a small spring flowed from the ground. Patience was grateful. Her body ached from the movement of the wagon and from having to keep herself tensed in order to stay upright in her seat. The cool water was more refreshing than any water Patience had ever tasted.
“I don’t know if it’s just the heat and my thirst, but this water is delicious,” she remarked to Warren. She smiled up at him, but Warren just watched over her with concern.“What is it?”
“Nothing, drink up.” Warren was worried for Patience. Perspiration glistened on her forehead and she looked rather pale. He realized that he had not once considered how this journey might be too taxing for Patience in her condition. He had been so impatient to marry her off and fulfill his promise to Clayton, he had never really thought of how Patience would handle the grueling journey. Guilt stung his heart as he watched her lean back against a tree and look up at the blue sky.
Warren wanted to apologize but he bit back his words. How could he apologize when he still intended to go through with the plan? This time next month she would be married to the wealthy rancher and he would return to his house and his mother. Patience would be out of his life forever.
Something uneasy stirred in Warren’s heart at the thought of leaving Patience forever at the doorstep of a stranger. He would never hear from her again, he wouldn’t even know the baby. Clayton’s baby. But what could he do? There was no place for her back home and she would surely be better cared for in Wyoming. Warren shook his head to clear his thoughts as Clive signaled to pack up again and head out. He helped Patience to her feet and back to the wagon.
The path down the hill wasn’t nearly as bad as the trail coming up had been but Warren still had to jump down a few times to assist the horses. Patience was silent the whole way down, taking the reins from Warren when he held them out to her, but keeping her gaze focused ahead. Warren found himself wondering what she was thinking of, and wanting to ask, but instead chose only to focus on driving his team.
When they finally reached the bottom of the hill Patience let out a deep sigh of relief and rubbed her abdomen. Every muscle in her body ached and her head was pounding.
“How are you doing?” Warren asked gently.
“I’m okay, thank you,” Patience replied. Her tone and expression didn’t convince Warren.
“Why don’t you get into the back and sleep? We still have a ways to go tonight.”
Without another word Patience carefully crept to the back and fell asleep immediately among her blankets. Warren drove on through the gathering darkness, watching the lamp that had been lit in the wagon ahead of him. Clive assured the men that although they would be traveling into the night, the natives in these parts were friendly and wouldn’t bother them. Warren felt alert and awake, but he let his mind wander as he drove. When the stars came out, millions of them in a moonless sky, Warren lifted his thoughts and heart to God.
All this beauty you created, Lord. I hope I’m doing the right thing for Patience. Did I even stop to consider your will in all of this? The thought brought Warren’s musings to a halt. He hadn’t once prayed about how to handle Clayton’s wife. His grief had been blinding and he only wanted to be rid of her and keep his promise. Well, Lord, this is where we are now. Please let your will be done. Let me know how to care for Patience. Tell me what to do. Warren continued to pray as the night went on.
Suddenly a noise brought him back hard to the present and stopped his heart.
“Aaah!” Patience cried out from her nest in the wagon. Warren pulled hard at the reins and yelled to the wagon in front of him.
A searing pain screamed through Patience’s abdomen and she curled herself into a tighter ball. She wrapped her arms around her cramping stomach as the agonizing pain, unlike anything she had experienced before, gripped her entire body. Tears fell freely down her cheeks. Suddenly she heard Warren’s soothing voice in her ear.
“Just breathe Patience. You’re okay, just breathe. That’s it.” Warren slowly rubbed her back as he spoke and soon the pain ebbed away. Sweat beaded on Patience’s brow and she looked up at Warren with fear in her eyes.
“What’s happening to me?” She looked up at him with large eyes full of pain and frightened vulnerability.
“It’s okay Patience, it’s okay,” Warren said while he helped her to sit up. “Here, lean against this, that’s it.” Warren propped Patience up against the side of the wagon and tucked a blanket behind her back to try and make her comfortable.
The pain came on again and Patience cried out, louder this time. Warren remained steadfast at her side encouraging her to take deep, slow breaths. Patience began to sob.
“What’s happening Warren? It’s too early for the baby to come!” Patience grabbed a hold of Warren’s arm and lo
oked up into his face in a wild panic.
“Everything is going to be fine, Patience.”
“How do you know that?!” Patience demanded, growing suddenly frustrated with his calm. “What do you know about childbirth?”
Warren, who had been rubbing Patience’s shoulders, stopped and faced her. “Nothing. But I know you’re a strong woman and I know you’re going to be just fine.”
Patience sniffled a few times and Warren wondered how she could look so adorable with her hair plastered to her face with sweat and her eyes red and swollen from her tears. “How do you know everything is going to be fine? Why do you keep saying that?”
“It’s all I can think of to say.” Warren held Patience’s gaze and smiled unintentionally. Before Patience could scold him, she was seized with pain again just as Faith’s face appeared against the night sky.
Chapter 11
“What’s the trouble?” Faith asked and, without waiting for an invitation, climbed into the wagon. She immediately took command of the situation and Patience was a little surprised by her calm and apparent expertise.
“I think I’m having contractions. But it’s much too early for the baby to come.” Patience looked at Faith with and was met with a warm reassuring smile.
“May I examine you?” Faith asked. Patience nodded. “My mother was a midwife and she trained me before she passed away.” Faith placed her hands on Patience’s abdomen and pressed firmly in a few places. Warren reached for Patience’s hand when she winced.
“I am going to get a few things. I’ll be back in a moment.” Faith scurried from the wagon leaving Warren and Patience alone.
“Warren, what if something is wrong?” Patience looked up into Warren’s dark eyes, waiting for him to assure her once more that everything would be fine. Warren put an arm around her shoulders and drew her closer.
“Well, let’s hope nothing is wrong. We have to trust God, Patience. It’s going to be okay.” Warren pushed a wayward auburn curl from Patience’s forehead. Patience nodded and returned his intent gaze just as the sharpness began again and she curled over her stomach trying to relieve the pain. Warren gripped her hand and spoke softly into her ear.
“It’s okay, just breathe. That’s it, slow breaths.”
When the pain subsided, Patience leaned back again with a deep sigh. Warren propped the blanket behind her just as Faith appeared with her hands full.
“Here, put this on her forehead.” Faith handed Warren a cold, wet cloth. The coolness felt heavenly on Patience’s hot skin and she relaxed a little in the care of her friend. Faith went quickly through her examination, speaking to Patience in calm and confident tones. When she finished, Faith wrapped her tools in another cloth and rested a hand on Patience’s abdomen.
“Everything looks normal. I think you’re just having some early contractions. It happens to many women,” Faith smiled sweetly at Patience whose eyes filled with relieved tears.
“Thank you,” Patience said thickly and took Faith’s hand. “I’m so glad that you were here.”
“Truly, you are a godsend,” Warren nodded. Faith seemed not to know how to respond and averted her eyes.
“If you wouldn’t mind, I could massage your muscles and that may ease the contractions,” Faith offered. Patience nodded and Faith began rubbing Patience’s lower back. As she was finishing and gathering her things, her husband, John, came around to the back of the wagon, but was careful not to look in.
“Hello dear,” Faith greeted him, “Everything is just fine here. I’ve just finished.”
“That’s good. Clive is eager to get on,” John replied. He helped his wife down from the wagon and Patience thanked Faith again.
“Take care.” Faith smiled at Patience and hurried off with her husband.
“Try to sleep again,” Warren said as he helped Patience rearrange the blankets. When she was comfortably lying down Warren briefly caressed her face then turned to regain his position behind the horses. Patience was soon asleep in the rocking wagon.
The wagon train travelled on through the night to reach the next trading post. Many wagon trains travelling west stopped here to trade and buy more supplies, to make repairs on their wagons, and to rest. Patience woke feeling refreshed and well rested as they pulled in among the commotion. She quickly put on fresh clothes and braided her hair in a circle around her head. Patience smiled slightly as she watched the sun creep over the horizon. It was a new day, the Lord’s mercies were new.
Clive directed his train to make a tight circle as usual and he recommended that people should involve him if they wished to purchase anything or make trades. Many of the people here would take advantage of someone who didn’t know fair prices. Clive pointed out the livery where animals could rest and be taken care of and Patience waited for Warren to help her climb down from the back of the wagon. He looked exhausted, but he regarded Patience with tenderness. She looked beautiful with her hair braided like that, in a halo around her head.
“Warren, you should rest while we’re here,” Patience said with concern.
“I’m going to take the horses to the stables and make sure they are taken care of first. They must be more tired than I am.” Warren unhitched the horses, speaking quietly to them as he worked. Patience watched him with a fond smile. It seemed Warren’s gentle care extended to all creatures.
“You stay here, in the circle. Promise me you won’t leave.” Warren looked at Patience with firmness in his eyes.
“Okay, I promise,” Patience replied. She watched as Warren led the horses out to the stables and got lost in the sight of him, such a strong, tender man with whom she had grown so close. Patience felt a touch on her arm and turned to see Faith.
“Good morning,” she greeted her friend warmly.
“Good morning, you look well today. You must have slept well?” Faith asked. She looked pleased at the healthy color in Patience’s cheeks.
“I did, thank you. I can’t tell you how grateful we are to you for being there last night.”
“Well, I’m just glad you’re alright.” Faith turned away to begin breakfast preparations and Patience joined her.
“You look tired, Faith, why don’t you go rest and I will take care of this. I have strict orders not to leave the circle anyway, it will give me something to do.”
“I can’t deny, I am tired. I didn’t sleep too well last night myself.” Faith looked again at Patience and satisfied herself that she did look well enough to take charge of breakfast. “I suppose I will go lie down for a bit.” With that Faith went back to her wagon.
When Warren returned from the livery he found Patience bustling around and humming to herself. He stopped, leaned against his wagon and watched her. She looked better than she had since they started out on the trail and Warren sensed an affection for Patience growing in his heart. He told himself that he loved her like a sister. She had been married to his brother so it made sense for him to feel this way. But deep in the hollows of his soul, he knew it was more. Patience finally noticed Warren and smiled at him.
“I didn’t set a foot out of the circle, Warren,” she said, slightly teasing.
“Well, good,” Warren smirked and stepped closer.
“You’re tired, go get some rest,” Patience ordered. “It seems I am the only one who got any sleep last night.” Patience waved her hand, acknowledging the noticeable absence of any fellow travelers. “Most of the men have retired to their wagons after seeing to their animals.”
“I have to say, it does sound tempting.”
“I’ll be fine, Warren. Go.”
“If you say so,” he grinned. “I guess I’ll sleep for a bit.” Warren tipped the rim of his hat toward Patience and made his way back to the wagon.
Chapter 12
As Patience enjoyed breakfast alone, she looked out through the spaces between the wagons and watched the people beyond talking together and bartering. Some children ran past, laughing and shouting and Patience smiled at them, placing a hand o
ver her own unborn child just as the baby changed position. Her heart filled with joy in anticipation of meeting her baby and she couldn’t help but imagine Warren alongside her, caring for them just as Clayton would have. But it was wrong. It could never be. Patience rose from her perch next to the fire and tried to shake the pictures from her mind. She knew that picture could never be, there was no use entertaining such thoughts.
Warren and the others slept for hours giving Patience plenty of time to plan and prepare a hearty dinner. No one had enjoyed a good meal since before they passed over the hills and when Clive brought more food supplies, Patience was able to cook a relatively fine feast with what was available. Finally, the delicious smell of the food awakened all the men and the small makeshift community came together for dinner.
“Did you cook this up, Patience? I haven’t eaten this well for too long,” one man commented as many others agreed heartily. Patience smiled sheepishly.
“You can thank Clive for bringing more food,” Patience deferred the attention.
“Eat and save what you can, the next post is some ways out,” Clive suggested. Everyone helped with the cleanup of the meal and ordered Patience to rest. But she still had work to do. Warren needed more practice with his writing, so during the afternoon Patience continued to help him work through the alphabet. When Warren had written out the entire alphabet Patience taught him how to spell his own name. She then told Warren about the different letter combinations that make unusual sounds like “s-h,” “c-h,” and “t-i-o-n.”
“How do you spell your name?” Warren asked with a twinkle in his eye. Patience took the pencil and paper from him and spelled out her name. But Warren just looked at Patience with confusion.
“Shouldn’t there be a ‘s-h,’ or a ‘t-i-o-n’?”
“Well, there are exceptions to each rule. The word, or the name ‘Patience’ is different that way,” Patience explained calmly. An unbidden thought infiltrated Warren’s mind. There was something about Patience being the exception to the rule that rang, but he kept the partially-formed thought to himself.