She had met some of them because her stepfather always wanted to show her off.
She had thought them rather coarse and what her mother would have considered too familiar.
The older men chucked her under the chin and told her she was pretty enough to break the hearts of all the men in town.
The young men held her hand too tightly and she was sure if she had danced with them they would hold her too close.
This, in fact, did not happen because they were not invited to the balls given by her mother’s friends and neither were those who accepted a little help secretly from her stepfather.
She enjoyed all the balls she attended and yet she thought they would be far more interesting if her mother had still been with her.
Lolita was aware that because her stepfather was so rich, the Dowagers sitting round the walls whispered whenever she appeared.
Quite a number of gentlemen who would otherwise have ignored her and preferred to dance with older women partnered her in waltzes.
She had enough brains to realise what was going on when a young man had been told how rich her stepfather was. He paid her fulsome compliments and made pointed suggestions that he should be invited to their house in Berkeley Square.
Now that her mother was so ill, Lolita found herself acting as hostess to her stepfather’s friends.
She thought in the past they would have met him in the City, but for the last three days Murdock Tanner, who had, Lolita learned, come to London on business, had been continually with them at the house.
The first time she had seen him she thought him uncouth and unpleasant, but she had been polite to him because she knew he was important to her stepfather.
He told her she was ‘a very pretty piece’ and that her eyes were like diamonds. He had even indicated that he would like to give her some.
Lolita had been polite, but she considered he had a somewhat debauched expression on his face and was repulsed by the way he ate and some of the remarks he made.
While her stepfather could just about get by in the smartest Society, there was no chance where Murdock Tanner was concerned.
He was rough and vulgar and Lolita was quite certain from the way he ate he had never been taught any table manners.
However, her stepfather talked to him with respect and admiration and Lolita did not have to be told how exceedingly rich Murdock Tanner was.
She avoided him whenever possible, but last night, when she learned that once again he was dining in the house, it had been a relief to know that she was going out to a small party given by one of her mother’s friends.
Lolita had enjoyed herself.
She had, however, come home early and was halfway up the stairs, when she heard Murdock Tanner emerge from the study with her stepfather. He was talking loudly in his thick, rather coarse voice.
Lolita hurried up the last flight of stairs and as she reached the landing she heard him stumble. She realised that he had drunk too much when he swore several unpleasant oaths.
‘He is a ghastly man,’ she told herself, going quickly into her bedroom and locking the door.
She had not gone down to breakfast the following morning until she learned that her stepfather had left. She was glad that she was going out to luncheon with some friends just in case he returned with Murdock Tanner.
When she came home she thought that there was no one downstairs, so she walked to her stepfather’s study to find the newspapers, which were always put on a stool in front of the fireplace.
When she opened the door it was to find to her consternation that Murdock Tanner was standing looking out of the window.
He turned round as she entered and came towards her.
He asked her where she had been hiding as he had not seen her last night.
“I went to a party,” Lolita answered, “but not a very large one and I enjoyed myself very much.”
“Of course you did,” Murdock Tanner said, “looking as pretty as a picture and turning all the young men’s heads.How many of them kissed you?”
Lolita thought it was an insulting remark and replied,
“No one! I do not allow men to kiss me.”
“Then you’re missing something very pleasant and I’ll show you, pretty little creature, how it should be done.”
To her astonishment he put out his arms and drew her against him.
For a moment she could hardly believe it was happening.
As she struggled she realised he was very strong and as his arms tightened she realised he was going to kiss her.
It was then that she began to fight against him with all the strength she could find.
She sensed that he was amused by her resistance, but was determined to have his own way.
“No! No!” she exclaimed as his lips touched her cheek.
With a frantic effort she managed to free one arm and struck him in the face.
It was as he recoiled from the blow that Murdock Tanner realised that someone had entered the room.
As his grip loosened Lolita managed to free herself.
It was all so unpleasant that having reached her bedroom she washed her face and her hands. She felt she was washing away the disgust the man had aroused in her.
She told herself that she had no intention of going downstairs again until he had left.
Now that her stepfather had sent for her, she could only hope that he had gone.
To make sure, she questioned the maid,
“Is my stepfather alone?”
“Yes, my Lady, his visitor left a little while ago.”
Lolita felt she could hardly refuse to go to her stepfather now that he had sent for her, but equally she was quite certain it would be an unpleasant interview.
She tidied her hair and brushed down her dress as if she was brushing away Murdock Tanner because he had touched it.
Then she walked very slowly downstairs and towards her stepfather’s study.
He was sitting at his writing desk when she came in through the door and she knew at once that he was in one of his rages.
Those who worked for him and his servants dreaded the moment when the boss was ‘put out’.
He would start by being icily cold and then his voice, which was like a whiplash, would grow sharper and louder until finally he was shouting at whoever had upset him.
Lolita had often thought that strong men would turn pale when he raged at them and she could only be thankful that he had never, since he had been married, let her mother see him in a towering rage.
She thought it was not only love but respect which had made him gentle with her Mama, but he did not extend this courtesy to her.
Lolita had experienced several heated arguments and on one occasion he had almost lost his temper, but now when she looked at him she felt as if a cold hand was squeezing her heart as she realised how very angry he was.
She moved towards the fireplace and he rose from behind the writing desk to join her.
“What the devil do you mean by being so offensive to my friend Murdock Tanner?” he demanded.
“He was being offensive to me.”
“By trying to kiss you?” her stepfather asked. “Good God, girl! What harm can that do? You should be honoured that a man as clever and successful as Tanner should admire you as he does – ”
“I don’t want his admiration,” said Lolita firmly. “He is old, ugly and unpleasant – he has no right to touch me.”
Ralph Piran laughed and it was an unpleasant sound.
“So you are giving yourself airs and graces,” he snarled, “and who is paying for them? I am. How do you think your mother could have afforded the gown you have on now? Or the dozens of others you have upstairs in your wardrobe?”
His voice grew louder as he continued,
“I am paying for you, and Murdock Tanner, as he is my partner, has contributed too. Do you understand we are partners? I will not have him insulted by a stupid little fool like you.”
Now he was shouting
and Lolita thought that his eyes were flashing at her almost as if he had lights behind them.
“I will – not – allow,” she managed to stammer, “Murdock Tanner or – any other man to – kiss me unless – I love him. That is what Mama would – expect.”
“As she cannot tell you so,” Ralph Piran snapped, “you will listen to me and obey me. If Murdock Tanner wants to kiss you, you are not to refuse him, but kiss him back.”
“Whatever you may say, Step-papa, I will not let him – come near me!” she retorted. “He is repulsive! It makes me sick even to let him touch my hand!”
“So you are defying me, Miss Hoity-Toity!” he howled. “Let me tell you one thing and you had better get it into your thick head – if Murdock Tanner wants to kiss you and you refuse him, I will beat you until you allow him to do so!”
Lolita gave an audible gasp, but he went on,
“There is just a chance that he might want to marry you. If so, I will give the marriage my blessing and if you refuse him, I will drag you to the altar, even if you are as senseless as your mother is at the moment.”
At the word marriage Lolita had stiffened and stood still as if turned to stone.
She could hardly believe it possible. Yet her stepfather would not have spoken about marriage if it had not been in his mind.
The whole idea was so frightening and so horrifying that she just stared at him.
“Those are my orders and if you do not obey me, you will find it very painful until you do.”
He moved forward as if he was either about to strike Lolita or shake her.
Her scream echoed round the study as she ran across the room and pulled the door open.
Although she heard him shout after her, she did not hear what he said as she rushed upstairs to her bedroom.
She locked the door behind her and flung herself down on the bed shaking all over from shock.
After some minutes she realised that there was nothing she could do about what had happened.
She remembered now that, since Murdock Tanner had been coming to the house so frequently, she had thought that he looked at her in an unpleasant way.
She could not explain it to herself, but now she guessed he had been appraising her, as if she was a cargo he had been deciding whether or not to buy.
She realised that if he wanted her, it would further her stepfather’s business and his fortune and he would therefore do everything in his power, as he had just warned her, to make her accept Murdock Tanner.
‘It’s incredible, impossible, and I will not do it,’ Lolita murmured.
At the same time she had no idea how she could protect herself.
She was sure her stepfather was not exaggerating when he threatened to beat her if she did not comply with what he wanted.
There were stories of him when in a rage beating the young boys on one of his ships and it was whispered that one of the boys in the office had to be treated by a doctor. Lolita had not paid much attention to such tales at the time.
She was not particularly interested in her stepfather’s business and she did not want to become involved with anything that was not her concern.
It had been easy when her mother had been there and they had talked together about everything except her stepfather’s business.
When her mother talked about her father, there was always a softness in her eyes.
Her voice told Lolita quite clearly that she still loved him.
‘It was for my sake,’ she thought now, ‘that Mama married Ralph Piran. She could not bear that I should be so poor that I could not afford a gown to go to the ball. She wanted me to meet the sort of people she had known when she was a girl.’
She wished she could go and tell her mother what had just happened, but she just lay still with closed eyes. The nurses looking after her were not very hopeful that she would ever regain her senses.
‘I cannot speak to Mama,’ Lolita said to herself, ‘and there is no one else who would understand how horrifying and ghastly my situation has become.’
Then almost as if it was an answer to a prayer, she knew that she must run away.
If she stayed, however much she might resist her stepfather, he would eventually force her to do what he wanted.
If Murdock Tanner wanted to marry her, he would, as he had said, drag her unconscious to the altar.
‘What can I do?’ she asked again, but the answer was already in her mind.
It was then that she dragged herself off her bed and sat down to think her situation out carefully and clearly.
She needed to be quite certain that she did not make any mistakes, as if she did run away and was caught, her stepfather would be so angry he would lock her in her room and it would be impossible for her to escape a second time.
‘If I leave,’ she said to herself, ‘I have will have to leave for good. But where can I hide?’
As she had often recognised, no one had fewer relations than she. The cousins her mother had sometimes spoken about lived far away in a part of England she had never visited.
She mulled over the friends she had made since she turned eighteen and a debutante and she was quite certain none of them would take her part against her stepfather.
There was no young man to whom she could turn for protection. They had danced with her, flattered her and even sent flowers to Berkeley Square and she always had the uneasy feeling that they were thinking how much money she would have rather than about herself.
If she would ask any of them to elope with her, she suspected they would refuse to do so.
Actually she had no desire to elope with anyone nor to marry any of the men who paid her compliments.
She did not know what she was waiting for, but she vaguely thought of it as love.
Something very beautiful and very wonderful and when she found it she would be as happy as her mother had been with her father.
Whatever the difficulties, however hard-up they were, they had always seemed blissfully content with each other.
Lolita knew that when her father died, part of her mother died with him.
‘How could I ever feel like that for a man like Murdock Tanner?’ she asked herself. Then she shuddered because the very idea was revolting.
Now the pride which she had always been told ran in her blood came to her assistance. It told her that unless she was to surrender completely to her stepfather’ demands, she must go away.
She had her health and her strength.
She must make a life for herself away from him and the horror and menace of Murdock Tanner.
‘I will leave tomorrow morning,’ Lolita decided, ‘but I shall have to be very clever because otherwise Step-papa will find me and force me back.’
She remembered that they were dining out together tonight and that the dinner was being given by a rather dubious Society hostess in Belgravia.
She was someone that Lolita suspected her stepfather had ‘helped’ to host a ball to which he would be invited. It had been a success, but the guests were not as smart or influential as those at other parties Lolita had attended.
Tonight it was to be a party of twenty or thirty guests and everyone would dance after dinner and she would have to dance with her stepfather.
‘He will have recovered his temper by that time,’ Lolita calculated. ‘I will be nice to him, so that he will think I am agreeing to everything he has suggested.’
She stood up from the stool and walked next door into the wardrobe room, which not only contained her clothes but some of her luggage. She found one case which was lighter than the rest.
Lolita thought if the worst came to the worst, she could carry it if she did not pack too much.
She made sure that all the doors were locked so that no one could surprise her by coming in unexpectedly and then she packed the things she thought she would need immediately.
Besides her underclothes she included three day-dresses and three simple evening-gowns, all made of very light material, but there wa
s not much room left in the case for anything else.
Then she put it away in the cupboard and hid the key as it was important that none of the maids should find it and think it strange.
She next had to think out and plan how she could find some ready money – this was not at all easy.
She only needed to order anything she wanted from a shop and the account would be sent to her stepfather and all bills were paid by his accountant.
Lolita had a little pocket money of course for her contributions in Church or if she had to tip anyone in a cloakroom or a man who fetched her carriage for her.
When she counted out what she had in her handbag it came to only a few pounds.
‘I shall need a lot more than that,’ she concluded.
She sat down again to think it all over very carefully – just the way her father did when he lost all his money gambling and needed some more to have another chance.
She remembered that her mother possessed a large amount of very valuable jewellery which Ralph Piran had given her.
She did not want to touch the jewellery, which she knew was in the safe, but there might be some money stored with it.
The safe was situated in a small room between her mother’s and her stepfather’s bedrooms so that either of them could use it at any time they wished. Lolita knew where the key was kept and had opened it many times for her mother.
She went to the door of her bedroom and listened. She wanted to know if there was anyone about and if her stepfather was still in the study.
If he was, it was unlikely he would come upstairs to the safe and if he had gone out, it would be better still.
The house seemed very quiet and there was only the sound of carriages driving round Berkeley Square.
Lolita slipped along the passage, passing the room where her mother lay in a coma. She quietly opened the door and tiptoed up to the safe.
It was, the manufacturer had assured Ralph Piran, the most up-to-date and strongest safe ever invented.
However it opened quite easily with a key which was hidden in a secret place known to Lolita.
Her mother’s jewels gleamed at her like stars including a diamond necklace with bracelet, ear-rings and a brooch to match, which she knew had cost thousands of pounds. Her stepfather had given them to her mother the first Christmas they were married.
Love by the Lake Page 2