by KB Winters
“No problem. Do you need to get up or anything? Hit the head, maybe?”
These guys, despite how tough and badass they all looked, they were all sweethearts. “I can manage it on my own, but thanks. You are strictly here to babysit me, I suppose.” I didn’t know why Tate, or maybe Jana had convinced Max to recruit his club members to watch out for me, but it was annoying.
And nice.
“Not babysit. A brother asked us to keep you and the baby safe so that’s what we’re doing.”
“Big bad biker boys don’t babysit?” I arched a brow at the stoic man and his lips quivered beneath his beard.
“Exactly.”
Savior was a quiet guy so aside from some nervous hovering when I made a couple trips to the bathroom, we mostly sat in silence. He flipped between sports and news on the TV while I did as much work as I could on my laptop with just one hand. It was an exercise in frustration.
And that was pretty much how the rest of the week went. Various Reckless Bastards showing up on my doorstep, most of them bearing food and some bearing booze I couldn’t drink because of the pills. Because of the baby. I tried to work but it never lasted for more than fifteen or twenty minutes. Having a sprained wrist and a broken arm didn’t just hurt like a son of a bitch, it was damned inconvenient.
After the third day, I’d moved to my bedroom. To my fluffy, pillow-topped mattress and my blessed pillows, the feather ones and the memory foam. Soft, cool cotton sheets. Candles. It was my favorite room in the house and it was now my refuge. I stayed in bed all day and night, mostly listening to music because there was nothing else to do. I couldn’t work or cook or clean, and I couldn’t walk.
The phone rang nonstop and even though I had no desire to talk to anyone, I answered Jana once a day just to keep her from going crazy. The detectives never called so I assumed it meant that Sheena was still out there, waiting to make her next move. Tate didn’t call and honestly, it sucked but it didn’t bother me as much as it should have. Nothing bothered me, really. I ate because I knew the little guy or girl in my belly needed it, not because I was hungry.
And on the day of my doctor’s appointment, morning sickness kicked in like a professional soccer player. I slowly got dressed, lying down and breathing deeply in between bouts of nausea until I could stand again. I slipped on my shoes, still breathing deep, as I made my way to the front of the house to wait for Jana.
Instead, I got Tate.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but Jana’s morning sickness is out of control. She asked me to take you.” I hated that he looked so pained by my mask of indifference, but I did not want to care about his pain.
“I’m not disappointed, just surprised that no one thought to call me about last minute changes. No big deal.”
“That’s what your mouth says, but your face says different.”
“My face says that I’ve been puking my guts up all morning, Tate. Nothing more.” And now that we were on our way to the one place there was guaranteed to be no food, I was hungry. This pregnancy was determined to kick my ass.
He turned to me at a red light, grey eyes all dark with worry. “Is everything all right? You’ll talk to the doctor about it?”
I sighed. “It’s morning sickness, Tate. Same as Jana. Allegedly.” I knew she thought she was being helpful, but she really wasn’t. “I’m fine, just cranky.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” He turned his attention back to the road and I closed my eyes, trying to let the wave of nausea pass before I hurled all over Tate and his car.
“I know you don’t believe me, Teddy, but I really am so damn sorry for running out the way I did. I shouldn’t have, but my emotions were all over the place after dealing with those fucking cops.” He smacked the steering wheel and I knew it was frustration at the memory — not me. “My head was all fucked up and you were part of that.”
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered but kept listening. Mildly intrigued.
“Sorry, but you were. In that police station, fierce as hell as you defended me. Got lawyers and told them what they needed to know to get me out of there. I appreciated that and it made me...hell, I don’t know, crazy.”
“I get it, Tate. You were tired of being my personal bodyguard. No harm in that. You have a right to your own life.”
“Then you clearly don’t fucking get it, Teddy. That night brought too much shit to the surface, shit I didn’t want to deal with, like my time in prison, my anger.” He let out a sigh. “And my feelings for you.”
“And you realized you hated me and didn’t give a damn if the stalker got to me?” I was trying for levity but I failed.
“That’s not fucking funny,” he said, as we pulled into the medical building parking lot. “I wasn’t absolutely certain but I suspected it and it freaked me out, so I left. It was just supposed to be a ride to clear my head, but I rode and rode until my body ached. When I stopped I was just a few miles from Reno.”
“That’s a lot of riding and thinking.” Apparently he really did have a lot to think about.
He laughed but there was no amusement in it. “I did. I spent a couple days just walking around and trying to process everything. I should have called and made arrangements for your protection and I’m sorry for that, but I’m not sorry.”
“Thanks, Tate,” I snorted and slid from the car a second before I remembered I had a bum leg, a broken arm and a sprained wrist. “Shit!”
“I’ve got you, Teddy. Always.”
I hated the way my body reacted at his closeness. But I missed him, dammit. At least my hormones had me convinced I did. “Thank you but I’m fine.” I leaned against the car and waited for him to grab the wheelchair, and dropped into it with a loud sigh. “Let’s get moving.”
“We have ten minutes,” he said gruffly, turning the chair around so we were face to face. “I’m not sorry because that time away gave me a chance to sort through my feelings. To realize that what I felt for you was more than I bargained for. Hell, I didn’t even understand it. But I do now. Teddy, I’m in love with you.”
I sucked in a breath at his words, unable to believe them. Unable to process them. “What do you mean you’re in love with me? That’s not possible!”
I didn’t know much about love but I knew you didn’t walk away. You didn’t abandon the other person the moment things got hard. I knew all about that. It had happened to me plenty growing up. And if that was love, I wanted no part of it.
“It damn well is possible! It’s true. I haven’t given you a reason to believe me or to believe in me, but believe this. I love you and I’m going to find a way to earn your forgiveness for leaving you vulnerable.”
I looked away. I didn’t do vulnerable or weak. That was how you got hurt. But somehow, this man made me vulnerable. Made me open my heart to the possibility of more. To him. “I don’t know, Tate. How can you be sure?”
“Because I nearly died when you were in that accident. Driving up and down the streets of Mayhem looking for your car in a goddamn ditch, it tore me up, Teddy. I cried. Fucking cried when the last time I shed a tear was when my mom died. That’s when I knew without a doubt that I loved you. That you own my heart and soul. My body.” His voice dropped an octave, so serious it scared me. “I am more than sure, Teddy and I’m not a patient man. You will be mine.”
I shivered at his possessive tone. Men had always wanted to possess me, but not in this primal way shining in his eyes. “This is about the baby.”
“It’s not about the damn baby! I mean, I want the baby and I’ll step up and be the best dad I can be even though I don’t even know what a good father looks like. But this is about us. You and me. Tell me you love me or tell me to fuck off, Teddy. But tell me something.”
I opened my mouth, not sure what would come out. Not sure what I even wanted to say but I couldn’t say anything. My mouth was suddenly dry with black dots swimming around the edge of my vision. “I...uhm...Tate,” and then everything went dark.
C
hapter 23
Tate
Seeing Teddy faint, even from the safety of her wheelchair had shaved at least ten years off my life. One minute we were talking and I was holding my breath, waiting for her to let me down gently or declare her love for me, in her sassy, brash way, and the next I was carrying her in my arms through the ER doors, demanding they help her. To their credit, the nurses and the doctor moved as fast as any emergency room ever did, taking her vitals and pumping her full of fluids.
“Do you hear that?” The doctor wore a bright smile as a low glug-glug sound pulsed through the air.
I heard it and it sounded damn weird. It was fast and I knew it had something to do with the baby because of the big plastic wand rolling over her belly. “What is it?”
“It’s the baby’s heartbeat,” Teddy said in a teary whisper.
“That’s right, Mom. Your baby has a good, strong heartbeat.”
Our baby’s heartbeat. That left me stunned. I could hear my kid’s little heart beating. “Is that too fast?”
“No, it’s perfect,” she assured both of us with a friendly smile.
I barely noticed her clean the gel off Teddy’s belly, and the conversation between them came out muddled like I was under water. All of it suddenly became more real than it was even an hour ago. She was no more pregnant than she’d been then, but now the baby was real, even though Teddy was still as thin as she ever was. We drove home in a daze, after one of the most stressful three hours of my life, second only to the first twenty-four hours in prison. “Do you need any help?” I asked when I got her inside and back on the sofa.
Teddy rolled her eyes but I saw the small, sweet smile she tried to hide. “No, I’m fine. I’m going to try and clean the hospital stink off me.” She looked away and sighed before turning back to me. “Thank you, Tate. For being there for me. We’ll talk over dinner?” She moved to the wheelchair and looked up at me again. Waiting.
I gave a short nod and disappeared into the kitchen, making as much noise as possible so I wouldn’t hear the spray of the shower and think about the water droplets drip over the swell of her breast, down her long legs. I tried to push those thoughts out of my mind by thinking about the fact that she still hadn’t said anything about us. I poured out my fucking heart and told her I loved her, but she kept her thoughts and feelings to herself.
Patience wasn’t my strong suit, but I was trying to be the man Teddy needed me to be. The man she deserved. That man would’ve understood her reluctance to talk until she knew the baby was safe. Instead, I tried to push it while we waited and she’d shut down completely.
So now I was in the kitchen, making a healthy dinner for the mother of my child. The only woman to ever hold my heart. By the time Teddy made it back to the kitchen wearing a smile and a pretty little dress, the potatoes were boiling and the steaks sat in marinade, waiting for the broiler. “Hospital stink gone?”
She laughed and shrugged. “As much as I can get it done without a shower.”
“Duh. That’s right. You can’t get that thing wet. I could help, you know, and for once I don’t mean it in a dirty way.” But I smiled and wiggled my brows anyway, because I was a man and this woman was mine. I’d never pass up a chance to get dirty with her.
“Careful, Golden Boy, I might take you up on that offer.”
“Please do,” I told her as I drained the potatoes and put the steaks in the oven before turning to her. “It would be my pleasure and punishment to help you get clean.” She smiled up at me and I had to blink because I thought maybe I saw love there, but it was gone so quickly I couldn’t be sure.
“It smells delicious in here.”
“I figured after that scare in the parking lot we could both use a good meal.”
“I appreciate it, but you didn’t have to.”
This was starting to piss me off. “Teddy we both know I don’t do shit I don’t want to do, so cut it out.” I brought all the food to the table and we sat across from one another, eating in silence. “I didn’t know what exactly was good for the baby, but I knew those stinky ass cheeses weren’t good and neither was shrimp. Can’t go wrong with steak.”
She hummed her agreement.
“Need me to cut it for you?”
She waved me away and forked the steak whole, lifting it to her mouth with a satisfied smile on her face. When half her steak was eaten, she sat back and looked at me.
“I’m sorry about lying about the baby, but I needed to wrap my head around it first. I couldn’t let anyone else’s opinion influence me.”
I sighed, trying really fucking hard not to be offended. “You thought I would tell you to get rid of it?” If so, she definitely didn’t love me because she didn’t fucking know me.
Her blue eyes went so wide they practically bugged out of her head. “No, I thought you would urge me to keep it and I wasn’t sure if that was the right decision.” She blew out a breath, like it was a relief to get it out there.
But I frowned. “Because of me?”
She laughed but the sound was hollow and bitter. “No, Tate. Because of me. I don’t know jack shit about how a family is supposed to behave. I’m not sure I even know how to behave.” She snorted another laugh. “Every mother figure I’ve ever had in my life let me down and I wasn’t sure I was willing to risk bringing a child into that.”
“And now?” I had to know.
“Now I’m sure I’ll do better. I’ll read every mommy book under the sun, do my best by hovering and helicoptering and whatever else comes along to make sure this kid is the smartest, funniest, best kid around.”
She was definitely certain. It was evident in her tone, in that look of fierce determination and that sexy smile she wore. But I only nodded, waiting to see if I played any role in this future she laid out.
“Then there’s us,” she began, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “You were...unexpected. Together we were...two ships in the night, maybe.”
“And now? What are we now?”
She smiled again and nodded. “We are...us.”
“You’re not anything bitch. Golden Boy is mine, damn you!”
We both turned, startled at Sheena’s yelling. How in the hell did she get inside the house?
I barked out, “No I’m not, Sheena.”
“You are, dammit!” She had a gun, a simple nine-millimeter clutched between her shaky hands, wild eyes darting between Teddy and me. The table set for two between us. “Did I interrupt another romantic dinner? Did I?”
Teddy shook her head, skin pale and lips drawn and nervous. “It wasn’t romantic, just dinner.”
“Shut up, bitch! This is all your fault, coming around and flaunting your long legs and fancy gear. I was a good little bitch for years, now it’s my turn!” She was so angry, so filled with rage I had a bad feeling about how this would end.
I kept my voice even. As even as I could with a gun in my face. “I was never yours, Sheena.”
“But you could have been, Golden Boy. Don’t you see? We could have been fucking amazing together. I’m the kind of bitch that could have made you club president but you passed me over.” She shook her head, smacking it with her palm. “I had it all planned out. I would show you a good time, fuck your brains out after being without a woman for so long. I would’ve let you do anything, Golden Boy. Anything!”
Teddy snorted out a laugh and my eyes went wide with shock. Was she crazy?
Sheena turned on her and my heart leaped into my throat when the gun stretched out, pointing to her face. “You have something to say, whore?”
Teddy just sneered. “You’re so wrong about everything, do you even care about the truth?”
“Teddy,” I began, hoping to warn her not to poke the crazy ass bear.
“No, Golden Boy, let her speak. Let the little slut tell us what’s on her slutty little mind. Go ahead,” she waved the gun in Teddy’s direction. “Speak, bitch!”
I had to give Teddy credit; she looked way calmer than I felt
even as she surreptitiously covered her belly as her gaze settled on Sheena. “You’re the one who brought us together.”
“Liar! Fucking liar!”
“It’s true. We were just friends of circumstance before. His brother is marrying my best friend. But then some crazy psycho started stalking me and Tate offered his protection. Then we really started spending time together and well, you know the rest.”
“His name is Golden Boy, you stupid bitch!”
Teddy shrugged like Sheena didn’t have a gun aimed at her head. “Either way, this is on you Sheena. I should thank you.”
Sheena raised the gun level with Teddy’s forehead and grinned with crazy eyes. “For ending your misery tonight?”
“No.” Teddy turned her gaze to me and smiled. “For pushing me into the arms of the love of my life.”
Sheena let out a little shriek of pain. “Are you fucking serious right now? I have the gun so you both will fucking listen to me. To me!”
Teddy was like a freight train and wouldn’t stop. I was sending her thought messages. Baby, she’s crazy, please, stop. She’ll kill us. But she just barreled on.
“You interrupted our evening, Sheena, not the other way around. This was a private conversation and since you’re trying to steal my man, I figured it was the perfect time to step up.”
Teddy looked back at me and grinned. “I know I have the worst timing in the world, but I figured this was a now or never type deal. I love you, Tate. I am madly, crazily, sappily in love with you. So much that I just want to hop on your lap and run my fingers through your hair like Jana does to Max.”
I barked out a laugh over my pounding heart. We had to be delirious. It was the only explanation for both of us to be laughing and staring at each other with googly eyes as a crazy woman held us at gunpoint. “I like that,” I said, my voice as shaky as Sheena’s hand holding the Glock.
I don’t know if Sheena was high or what but she quickly snapped, “Oh, please! Don’t listen to her, Golden Boy, she’s full of shit. A girl like her, she doesn’t want a biker. She wants you for your money.”