Megan nodded, but she didn’t look convinced, and a chill of foreboding crept up the back of Connor’s neck as he stared down at the baby who was lying, unmoving, in his incubator. As Megan had said, there was quiet, and there was quiet, and he had never once heard this baby cry. Brianna might not think there was anything wrong, but he wondered how much of that was denial on her part because the baby did look like their son. Not strikingly so, but enough to make him feel slightly sick inside.
‘My gut feeling is we’re missing something,’ Megan declared, ‘so I want those blood results chased up, more X-rays, a spinal tap, a CT-scan—’
‘You think he could be brain-damaged?’ Connor gasped, and could have bitten off his tongue when he saw Brianna’s face whiten.
‘I’m not into guessing games, Connor,’ Megan replied firmly, ‘and I’m probably simply overreacting, and he’s actually one contented little boy, but I want to cover all bases.’
‘Right,’ he murmured, backing up a step. ‘OK, I have notes I want to transfer from my phone to my laptop, so I’ll…I’ll head off to my office and let you get on with it.’
Megan smiled slightly as Connor strode quickly out of the ward.
‘He’s getting quite attached to our Harry, isn’t he?’
‘Who wouldn’t when this little one is such a cutesy?’ Brianna replied, then took a deep breath. ‘The spinal tap…Are you thinking sepsis?’
‘Hell, Brianna, I’m not thinking anything,’ Megan insisted. ‘I just…’
‘Have a gut feeling.’ Brianna nodded.
She’d had them, too, in the past. A nurse’s sixth sense warning that, despite what their monitors and hi-tech machines indicated, there was something not quite right.
‘Do you want me to page Babbling?’ she asked, and Megan shook her head.
‘Let’s wait for those blood results, and while we’re waiting we’ll do a spinal tap before we pull in our resident Cassandra. And speaking of prophets of doom,’ she added dryly, ‘I think Rita wants a word with you.’
‘Oh, joy,’ Brianna muttered with feeling, glancing over her shoulder to see the ward clerk clearly attempting to catch her attention, and Megan laughed.
‘Just don’t kill her, OK?’ she said. ‘Removing all that splattered blood from the unit…’ She grinned. ‘Nightmare.’
But it wasn’t Rita who wanted to speak to Brianna outside in the corridor. It was Jess, her face alight with excitement.
‘I think I might know who the mother of your abandoned baby might be!’ she exclaimed without preamble.
Which was good news, Brianna told herself, as she felt her heart give an uncomfortable, and unexpected, dip. It was tremendous news, the very best of news, and yet she found herself having to struggle to return Jess’s smile.
‘That’s…that’s brilliant,’ she replied, all too conscious that Connor had come out of the nurse unit manager’s office, and was listening intently. ‘Who is it?’
‘Do you remember me telling you some months ago about the girl I saw who gave me a false name?’ Jess replied.
‘A false name?’ Brianna repeated in confusion, and Jess shook her head at her.
‘You must remember. She came in the day that poor young car mechanic, Colin Maddern, was killed in a car crash. She told me her name was Marcia Johns, and I thought it sounded odd, and it wasn’t until she’d gone I realised why. She’d clearly picked the name from one of the pharmaceutical posters on my wall.’
‘I can sort of vaguely remember that.’ Brianna frowned. ‘But what makes you think she could be Harry’s mother? ‘
The counsellor held up three fingers and counted them off.
‘Number one, it was very clear to me she’d been deeply in love with this Colin even though she couldn’t have been much older than sixteen. Number two, she gave me a false name, and why would she do that unless she was afraid I might make enquiries and find out who she really was and where she lives?’
‘Jess—’
‘And number three,’ the counsellor continued triumphantly, ‘even when I spoke to her I felt she was hiding something, that there was something else she wasn’t telling me.’
‘Did she look pregnant?’ Brianna asked, and for a second Jess looked downcast. Then she brightened.
‘She wouldn’t have if she was only two, or three, months gone, and this must have been…six…seven months ago.’
‘Would you be able to give the police a description of this girl?’ Connor asked, to Brianna’s acute annoyance, and Jess frowned.
‘She was blonde—well, more corn-coloured, really—and her eyes were grey, but the trouble is I only saw her twice. Once when she came to the hospital, and once when I was out with Gio in his car.’
‘Nevertheless, I think you should tell the police what you know,’ Connor declared, and Brianna bit her lip.
What right did he have to interfere, to put in his pennyworth? The baby’s mother’s identity had nothing to do with him.
‘Jess, you can certainly go to the police if you want,’ she said, ‘but let’s look at the facts here. You don’t know the girl’s real name, and you don’t even know if she was actually pregnant. All you know for certain is she had blonde hair, and grey eyes, and there must be dozens of girls out there who would fit that description.’
‘My own granddaughter, Nicola, for a start,’ Rita observed as she came out of her office, clearly having been hovering behind her door, listening to every word, ‘and I’m telling you this. If the police start stopping every sixteen-year-old girl in the street and asking if she’s recently given birth, there’ll be hell to pay from the parents.’
Jess flushed.
‘Damn, but I hadn’t thought of that. I’m so sorry, folks,’ she added. ‘It just all seemed to fit, but you’re right—I don’t have enough information, only guesswork.’
‘I still think you should speak to the police,’ Connor declared, but the counsellor shook her head.
‘If I remember anything else, I will, but right now. For all I know I’ve just put two and two together and come up with five, and that’s not going to help anyone.’
‘What will happen to Harry if his mother doesn’t come forward?’ Brianna asked, and Jess sighed.
‘When he’s well enough, Social Services will arrange for him to go into care or be fostered, until he can be adopted. Look, I know that sounds awful,’ she continued quickly, seeing Brianna’s expression, ‘but there are some really good foster-parents out there.’
‘I suppose so,’ Brianna said unhappily, ‘but it seems a pretty wretched start in life for a little baby.’
‘Brianna…’
She could hear the caution in Connor’s voice, the concern, but she didn’t turn round—couldn’t.
‘I wouldn’t give up hope yet of his mother coming forward,’ Jess observed bracingly. ‘It’s only been two days since you found him, and there could be dozens of reasons for her not coming back to claim him.’
‘Yeah, like her thanking her lucky stars she’s got rid of him,’ Rita declared, and Jess rolled her eyes at Brianna.
‘I have to go,’ she said. ‘I have wall-to-wall clients today—’
‘Which reminds me,’ Brianna declared. ‘When you’ve a minute, could you have a word with Naomi Renwick? She’s been doing marvellously, managing to keep most of her anxieties pretty much under control since her daughter was born, but I get the feeling things are starting to get on top of her, and…’
‘You think she needs someone not directly involved with her daughter’s medical care to talk to her?’ Jess nodded. ‘Not a problem. I can’t see her today, but I’ll definitely drop by tomorrow.’
‘Nice woman,’ Connor said as Jess hurried away. ‘Seems very caring, as well as capable.’
And if he thought that, then maybe Jess’s job would be safe, Brianna realised, letting out a silent whoop of joy.
‘Her husband’s very nice too,’ she replied, just in case Connor was eying up the neurology department for cut
backs. ‘Gio Corezzi, the neurosurgeon?’
‘I’m sure Mr Corezzi is very nice,’ Rita chipped in, before Connor could reply, ‘but, when you think about it, what do any of us really know about him?’
‘What’s there to know?’ Brianna said in confusion. ‘He’s a brilliant surgeon, he’s Italian, and he’s happily married to Jess.’
‘He is now,’ Rita replied, ‘but he wasn’t nine months ago, and don’t you think it’s odd this baby should be found next to his car?’
Brianna turned slowly to face the ward clerk. ‘I’d watch what you were saying, if I was you, Rita.’
‘I’m only making an observation—’
‘No, you’re not,’ Brianna interrupted, more angry than she’d been in a long time. ‘You’re saying that Gio—Gio who loves Jess more than he loves his own life—could have had some.some sort of sordid liaison the minute he arrived in St Piran, and then dumped the woman.’
‘I’m only pointing out that it’s strange—’
‘Have you been talking to Kennie Vernon?’ Brianna demanded. ‘Because if you have, and I hear this repeated anywhere in the hospital, I’m going to tell Gio what you said, and, believe me, the courts take a very dim—and expensive—view of slander. Understood?’
From Rita’s scarlet face it seemed she did, and, as she strode into her office, and slammed the door behind her, Connor shook his head.
‘What an absolutely appalling woman. Why on earth does the hospital employ her?’
‘Because, despite the fact that she’s a nosy, interfering gossip,’ Brianna replied, ‘she is also, unfortunately, very good at her job.’
‘Which is a great pity,’ he observed, ‘because I would have relished the opportunity of recommending she be given her marching orders.’
‘At least she only has two more years to work here before she retires.’ Brianna sighed. ‘Of course, there’s every chance I’ll probably have killed her before then, but…’
Connor tilted his head at her. ‘You’ve changed, haven’t you?’
‘In what way?’ she asked, puzzled.
‘The Brianna I knew would never have chewed Rita’s head off. She might have wanted to, but she would have been far too afraid of hurting someone’s feelings.’
‘Yeah, well, maybe I don’t care so much about other people’s feelings now,’ she replied. ‘Maybe I care more about what is right.’
He smiled, an odd, almost self-mocking smile.
‘You don’t need me any more, do you?’
Her eyes flew to his. ‘Don’t need…?’
‘When we first got married, I thought—I sort of expected—that I’d always be.’ He shrugged a little awkwardly. ‘Your protector, I guess. My role was to be Tarzan—’
‘And I was Jane?’ she said, and try as she might she couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth from lifting. ‘Um, Connor, I think maybe you should pick a different comparison because somehow I don’t ever see you swinging through the trees wearing only a loincloth.’
‘You know what I mean,’ he said, his cheeks slightly flushed, ‘but look at you now. You have your own home—’
‘It’s rented.’
‘A career you’ve made all by yourself, a circle of friends, and you didn’t need my help to get any of those things. In fact, you probably didn’t even need me against Vermin.’
‘Oh, yes, I did,’ she said with feeling. ‘Connor—’
‘I’m just thinking, you see,’ he said, his face suddenly sad, ‘if I’m not your protector, your defender, then there really isn’t any place in your life for me now, is there? ‘
He meant it, she realised. For him, there was only one role that a husband should play in a marriage, and because he believed he was now an irrelevance to her, he was giving her the opportunity to say, ‘No, you’re right, there is no place for you,’ and he would leave, and she’d never see him again.
But was that really and truly what she wanted? She’d thought it was, when he had first come to St Piran’s but, now, staring up at him, seeing his face under the fluorescent lighting, she found herself thinking how very tired he looked, how unexpectedly vulnerable, and how his shirt was ever so slightly crumpled. Which was a stupid thing to think, an inconsequential thing, and she knew it was, but she’d never seen him looking anything but perfectly groomed, and she tentatively put out her hand to him.
‘Connor, a man needs to be a whole lot more than simply a protector in a marriage, otherwise we women would only ever marry bodyguards or boxers.’
His lips curved into an uneven smile, and he captured her hand in his.
‘Then there’s still hope for me—for us? ‘
She wanted to say, yes, she did so want to say, yes, but there were so many unresolved issues between them, and too many questions still unanswered.
‘I can’t answer that, not yet. I’m sorry,’ she added gently, hearing him sigh, ‘but you said you wanted me to be honest, and right now, that’s all I can say.’
He nodded. ‘I guess…’ His shoulders lifted, and he forced a laugh. ‘I guess it’s better than “Goodbye”.’
And before she realised what he was going to do, he’d raised her hand and planted a kiss in the centre of her palm. A kiss so gentle that his lips scarcely brushed her skin, and yet she felt a faint flutter of warmth curl and wrap itself around her frozen heart. A faint flutter that deepened and grew when he held her hand close to his own heart and she could feel it beating.
‘Bree…?’
He hadn’t called her that for such a long time, not for such a very long time, and tentatively she raised her own hand to touch his cheek, saw him close his eyes, and turn his head so his lips almost touched her fingers, and then he let out a muttered oath when the unit door opened and Josh appeared, looking grimly determined.
‘No prizes for guessing who he’s come to see,’ Connor muttered as he released her hand. ‘For a bright man, it’s sure taking him a long time to get the message that Megan’s not interested.’
‘Shush,’ Brianna whispered warningly. ‘What can we do for you, Josh?’
‘I didn’t realise you guys were married,’ he said, and Brianna rolled her eyes.
‘Now, that was fast, even for Rita,’ she observed dryly, and Josh grinned.
‘I want to talk to Megan.’
‘Josh, do you really think this is wise?’ Brianna said uncertainly. ‘She clearly doesn’t want to talk to you—’
‘But I have to talk to her,’ the A and E consultant insisted. ‘Brianna, please, tell her that.’
‘OK, I’ll tell her, but don’t be surprised if she says she’s too busy,’ she replied, but, as she turned to go back into the ward, she saw Mr Brooke beckoning imperiously to her from outside his office. ‘Oh, damn. Look I’m sorry, Josh, Mr Brooke wants me. Connor, could you find Megan, and tell her Josh really needs to speak to her?’
‘I’ll try,’ he replied.
Which was about as much as anyone could do, Brianna thought as she hurried down the corridor towards Mr Brooke.
‘This had better be good, Josh,’ Megan declared as she came out of the ward, looking both flustered and irritated. ‘Unlike you, who seem to have unlimited free time at your disposal, I am really busy.’
‘You’re always busy, always avoiding me,’ he replied, ‘but this is important.’
‘It always is, according to you,’ she said. ‘OK, all right. Spit it out, but make it fast. I have a hundred and one things to do.’
‘Rebecca’s left me.’
For a second there was no expression at all on Megan’s face, then, to Josh’s dismay, her face whitened with shock.
‘Is this because of me?’ she said hoarsely. ‘Has she heard rumours about me? Josh, I’ll speak to her, tell her that what happened between you and I happened years before she married you, and we didn’t even have a proper relationship back then, just…’ She bit her lip. ‘Just one night of madness that should never have happened.’
‘Megan—’
‘You haven’t told her about Stephen, have you?’ she exclaimed, horror tingeing her voice. ‘You haven’t been insensitive enough to tell her that we had a baby, and he died? Oh, Josh, she must be so hurt—so upset—’
‘I haven’t told her we had a child. I…’ He swallowed convulsively. ‘Only you and I know that, and only you and I ever will. Look, Megan, I thought. Rebecca leaving me…I thought.I hoped…you’d be pleased.’
‘Pleased?’ she echoed faintly. ‘You thought I’d be pleased to have been the cause of someone’s marriage ending?’
‘I shouldn’t have said “pleased”—”pleased” was the wrong thing to say,’ he declared desperately, ‘and you haven’t ended my marriage. Rebecca and I. Our marriage has been slowly dying, bit by bit, for years. It was one of the reasons we moved to St Piran, both of us hoping we might be able to salvage it, but I think we always knew it wasn’t salvageable.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, sincerity plain in her face. ‘Sorry for Rebecca, sorry for you. Nobody wants a marriage to fail.’
‘I think, perhaps, looking back, that I should never have married her,’ he replied. ‘That it was a mistake.’
She opened her mouth, then closed it again, and backed up a step, her eyes narrowing.
‘A mistake,’ she repeated slowly. ‘It must be really comforting for Rebecca to know she was a mistake.’
‘Megan—’
‘But, then, I was a mistake, too, wasn’t I, Josh?’ Megan continued icily. ‘You and I making love when we were students—that was another of your mistakes. Oh, and Stephen. I guess he was a mistake, too.’
‘Megan, listen to me—’
‘You married Rebecca, Josh, so presumably you felt something for her at one time?’
He had, he remembered, but the feelings he’d felt for his wife had been nothing like the feelings he’d experienced towards the white-faced, angry woman standing in front of him. With Rebecca he’d felt comfortable, at ease, had thought they wanted the same things from life, while with Megan. His feelings had been so terrifying in their intensity that he’d run from them rather than face them. Run because he’d sensed that Megan embodied everything he’d always feared. Commitment, honesty, family, ties.
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