by Mike Thaler
th
BY
MIKE THALER •
ILLUSTRATED BY
JARED LEE
25
®
#25
birthday. There’s only one problem—he didn’t
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FRIDAY THE 13
TH
BLACK LAGOON
®
FRIDAY THE 13
TH
FROM THE
BLACK LAGOON
Get more monster-sized laughs from
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by Mike Thaler
Illustrated by Jared Lee
SCHOLASTIC INC.
®
FRIDAY THE 13
TH
FROM THE
BLACK LAGOON
For Samantha,
welcome to the world—M.T.
To Dick and Elly Wilson—J.L.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright
Conventions. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted,
downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into
any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means,
whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without
the express written permission of the publisher. For information regarding
permission, write to Scholastic Inc., Attention: Permissions Department,
557 Broadway, New York, NY 10012.
e-ISBN 978-0-545-61845-8
Text copyright © 2013 by Mike Thaler
Illustrations copyright © 2013 by Jared D. Lee Studio, Inc.
All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Inc.
SCHOLASTIC and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks
of Scholastic Inc. BLACK LAGOON is a registered trademark of Mike Thaler and
Jared D. Lee Studio, Inc. All rights reserved.
First printing, September 2013
Contents
Chapter 1: Knock on Wood. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Chapter 2: A Party Pooper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Chapter 3: Guess Who’s Coming? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Chapter 4: Party Arty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Chapter 5: Guest Guess . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Chapter 6: The Apple Cart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Chapter 7:RSVP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Chapter 8: King for a Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Chapter 9: Great Idea! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Chapter 10: Born to be Great . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Chapter 11: Wait Weight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Chapter 12: Party Animal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Chapter 13: The Host with the Most . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Chapter 14: My Lucky Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
6
CHAPTER 1
KNOCK ON WOOD
Let’s get one thing straight. I
am not superstitious.
Cross my heart. But I am
cautious.
I never walk under a ladder
or step on a crack. And I always
carry my lucky rabbit’s foot with
me, even though it was not lucky
for the rabbit.
7
If you are not superstitious,
go ahead and finish reading my
terrible tale. And good luck.
8
CHAPTER 2
A PARTY POOPER
I’m having a birthday next
Friday. It happens every year.
That’s good. But Mom’s giving
me a birthday party. That’s bad.
It could be horrible.
9
What if no one comes? Or,
what if everyone comes and no
one brings a present? Or, every-
one comes and brings a present I
don’t like.
10
Last year, everyone brought
me gloves. I had sixteen pairs of
gloves. I finally had to give them
all away to the “Octopus Relief
Fund.”
Well, it’s a week away. I’m not
going to worry about it.
11
12
CHAPTER 3
GUESS
WHO’S COMING?
Mom is going to send out
invitations to all my friends. The
cards in the store are all corny.
One has clowns, one has balloons,
and one has kittens in party hats.
Forget it. I’ll make my own. I’ll
draw a rainbow dinosaur blowing
a horn. On the inside, I’ll write,
“Come to my party and bring a
good present.”
Mom says that’s not polite.
13
“How about: Please come to my
party and bring a good present?”
I ask.
She shakes her head.
“Okay, then: There’s going to
be a party. Oh, boy!” I say.
Mom says that’s too eager.
“Hey, if you’re not doing any-
thing next Friday, come to my
party?”
Mom says that’s too cool.
“What about: It’s finally here.
You’ve waited a whole year for
it—my birthday party!”
Mom smiles. “That’s good.”
14
I print them out, address the
envelopes, put in the cards, and
seal them up. Mom gives me
stamps and asks if I put the time
and date on the invitation.
Uh-oh. I can put that on the
/> back of the envelope. September
13th at 5:00 p.m.
I take them down to the corner
mailbox and drop them in.
CHAPTER 4
PARTY ARTY
Now Mom says we have to get
decorations. I think the house is
fine already. It’s decorated. I’ve
got a monster poster on the wall
and my model airplane hanging
from the ceiling.
Mom drags me to the party
store, anyway. Do you believe
there’s a whole store with stuff
just for parties? They’ve got
hats, balloons, banners, confetti,
streamers, posters ,signs, horns,
and a thousand other useless
use me once and throw me away
things. Mom goes wild. She buys
everything. Our house is going to
look like Times Square on New
Year’s Eve. At least there are no
flowers, no kittens, and nothing
pink.
19
Then she says we have to get
party favors for each kid. We have
to give them presents?!!! It’s my
birthday. Now, if no one comes,
I’ll really feel bad. I’ll have to wear
all the party hats, and blow all the
horns myself. Bummer. I’m glad
this only happens once a year.
CHAPTER 5
GUEST GUESS
On the school bus, I listen
closely to hear if anyone got their
invitations yet. No one says a
word. I mailed them a day ago.
What if they all got lost in the
post office? I would have to play
musical chairs by myself. At least
I’d win.
21
Freddy says there’s a circus
in town. A circus! I can’t compete
with that! No way! I have an
inflatable elephant, but they have
a real one. I guess no one’s going
to come. I wonder if there’s a
market for never-used party hats?
22
I’ll give a little hint to my friends
on the bus.
“Hey, my birthday is coming
up!” I shout.
23
Everyone just keeps on talking.
“Soon it will be my birthday!”
Everyone’s quiet.
“I was born next Friday!” I yell.
24
Penny looks up.
“Are you going to start
wearing diapers?” She giggles.
I shake my head.
25
“Oh, are you having a party?”
asks Doris.
“Sort of.”
“Am I invited?” whines Doris.
“Maybe.”
“Who else is coming?” sighs
Doris.
“I don’t know.”
“Is it a circus party?” asks Freddy.
“No.”
26
“A movie party?” asks Eric.
“No.”
“An ice-skating party?” asks
Doris.
“No.”
“A bowling party?” asks Derek.
“No.”
“Well, what kind of party is it?”
asks Randy.
27
“A surprise party!” I answer.
“How can it be a surprise if
you already know about it?” asks
Penny.
“I’ll be surprised if anyone
comes.”
28
CHAPTER 6
THE APPLE CART
I’m feeling pretty bad.
Then Eric calls. “I got your
card,” he says.
“Good,” I say.
“Your birthday is September
13th?” he asks.
“Every year,” I answer.
29
“Your party is on Friday,” he
says, surprised.
“Next Friday,” I answer.
“I can’t come,” he says.
“Why not?” I ask.
“I can’t leave the house,” he
says.
“Are you grounded?”
30
“No,” he says.
“Well, why can’t you come to
my party?”
“Your party is on Friday the
13th!” he shouts.
There’s a long silence.
“Friday the 13th!!!” he shouts
again, and starts humming
spooky music, then hangs up.
31
CHAPTER 7
RSVP
“Mom, Eric’s not coming to my
party.”
“Why?” she asks.
“Mom, this year my birthday
falls on Friday the 13th.”
“So?”
33
“Mom, Friday the 13th. Don’t
you know that’s the unluckiest,
scariest day of the year?!”
“Oh, Hubie, that’s just a silly
superstition, and besides, it’s too
late to change it. We’ve already
mailed out the invitations.”
“Silly or not, my best friend is
not coming, and I wonder who
else won’t show up.”
34
CHAPTER 8
KING FOR A DAY
Mrs. Green heard that Friday
is my birthday. I have to wear
a silly crown all day long. How
humiliating.
36
Mr. Bender will announce it
over the loudspeaker. Everyone
will know, but no one will come
to my party. I wish I was never
born.
CHAPTER 9
GREAT IDEA!
After class, I tell Mrs. Green
my problem.
“That’s just a silly superstition,”
she says.
“Silly or not, everyone’s afraid
to come to my party,” I say.
“A lot of the things that
people are afraid of are just in
their heads.”
38
“Yeah, but it’s real to them.”
“Hey, Hubie, why not have a
‘silly superstition’ birthday party?
Everyone could come as their
favorite lucky charm.”
“Will you come?” I ask.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the
world,” says Mrs. Green.
39
CHAPTER 10
BORN TO BE GREAT
When I go to the library, Mrs.
Beamster gives me a book called
The Birthday Book. She says it’s
for the birthday boy. It’s full of
birthday stuff, like all the famous
people born in September. There
are lots of them.
40
There’s kings, queens, and
even emperors. There’s generals
and presidents. There’s sport
stars and movie stars, but best of
all, there’s a lot of great writers.
41
There’s H. A. Rey, H. G. Wells,
T. S. Eliot, and Shel Silverstein.
That’s great because I want to
be a writer. Mrs. Beamster says
I was born in a good month for
writers.
42
But maybe I’ll have to add more
initials to my name. I’ll change it
to M. T. Hubie.
43
44
CHAPTER 11
WAIT WEIGHT
I
t’s here . . . Friday the 13th.
All the decorations are up, all the
candles are on the cake, and my
room is relatively clean, so I just
sit down and wait.
Maybe one of my presents will
be a Ferrari. Maybe someone
will bring me a new video game. I
don’t want any clothes, especially
not gloves.
Well, it’s 4:56. T-minus four
minutes. I hope someone comes.
If I have to eat the whole cake by
myself, I’ll get sick. Well, it’s five
o’clock . . . zero hour . . . blast off!
Now it’s 5:01.
No one’s here. I’m a failure.
Mr. Unpopular. No one loves me.
No one even likes me. They’re all
at the circus having fun. I don’t
care. Let them eat popcorn!
47
CHAPTER 12
PARTY ANIMAL
There’s a knock at the door. I
run to open it. It’s Freddy! He’s
dressed like a giant rabbit’s foot.
I knew the cake would get him.
He comes in and hands me a big
box. It’s light. I shake it. It rattles.
It’s not a Ferrari.
48
Then the doorbell rings again.
It’s Derek, Randy, Penny, Doris,
and Eric.
Derek is dressed up as a
horseshoe, Randy has his pants
on backwards, Penny is a lucky
penny, Doris is a ladybug, and