Carli was almost certain Bryce knew exactly where she worked and had only asked the question to yet again highlight the differences between her and Xavier.
‘As you know, Bryce, it is extremely rare for young women to be offered partnerships,’ she said, ‘particularly in the larger city firms.’
Bryce looked as if he would like to argue the point further but Xavier put his arm around Carli’s shoulders and drew her close.
‘Come on, Dad. Let’s not stir up a hornets’ nest. Carli and I are here to announce our pregnancy and the fact that we’ve decided to live together. I don’t want her upset.’
Carli knew his concern was primarily for the baby she carried but she still felt a rush of warmth at his protective words. Had he too been remembering that dreadful argument that had been the death knell for their marriage?
All through the elaborate dinner the Knightly housekeeper had prepared with her usual fastidious detail Carli could sense the undercurrents of tension at the table. She made her way through the overly rich meal very conscious of the stilted conversation passing between Xavier and his parents. She chanced a glance at Eleanor, who appeared to be having even less success with consuming the meal than she was.
Bryce did his level best to keep things flowing but Carli noticed the way he constantly topped up his wine glass as if it gave him a reprieve from facing the steely glare of his only son across the table.
Once dessert was cleared away they moved through to the spacious lounge, where coffee and chocolates were laid out before them.
Carli longed to leave the stiff and formal atmosphere but forced herself to endure the lengthy silences broken only by the occasional clatter of a paper-thin bone-china cup against its saucer.
After what seemed an interminable time Xavier got to his feet and reached for Carli’s hand, drawing her up to stand beside him as he addressed his parents. ‘We should get going. I have an early start in the morning and Carli is just about dead on her feet.’
‘Yes…of course.’ Eleanor’s overly bright smile didn’t quite hide the relief washing over her face in waves.
Bryce joined his wife at the door to wave them off but Carli couldn’t help noticing the door had closed even before Xavier had backed out of the driveway.
Carli turned back to the front and worried her bottom lip for a moment.
‘Did you find tonight an ordeal?’ Xavier asked after a pause.
‘It was…interesting.’
She felt his glance swing her way.
‘In what way?’
She looked back at him. ‘Your parents don’t seem all that comfortable around you any more. Have you had some sort of falling-out?’
His eyes went back to the road ahead but he didn’t respond until he’d shifted through the gears to move through the intersection.
‘You could say that.’
‘What was it about?’ she asked.
‘This and that.’
‘Was this or that anything to do with me?’
Carli felt as if a full minute passed before he answered, as if he was mentally rehearsing his response before he delivered it.
‘It took me a while to realise the shallowness of my parents’ lives. They measure people according to wealth and social status, not character or moral fibre. It struck me one day that unless I did something about it I could very well end up exactly like them.’ He flicked a wry glance towards her. ‘You, of course, had already seen the likeness.’
Carli sat in a stunned silence.
‘My mother made some derogatory comment about you a couple of years back. I guess it wasn’t anything she hadn’t said before, but somehow this time I saw how it must have been for you. You were so young and inexperienced, no match for any of the Knightlys.’
‘Including you?’ she asked, her voice a thin thread of sound.
He waited until he’d parked in his garage and killed the engine before turning to look at her. ‘Including me.’
Carli felt the magnetic pull of his intense gaze as it rested on her face and watched in silence as he lifted the back of his hand to graze his knuckles along the soft curve of her cheek.
‘And here you are, back in the firing line,’ he said, ‘all because of a simple twist of fate.’
She moistened her mouth with her tongue, her breath hitching in her throat as his eyes followed its movement. His eyes darkened measurably as his head came down, his warm breath a soft caress as he pressed his mouth to hers.
She sighed as his lips moved over hers, one of his hands sliding under the heavy curtain of her hair to bring her head closer still. She felt the probe of his tongue and opened her mouth on another sigh as he sought her moistness in slow-moving strokes that set her instantly on fire. She felt the sudden leap of her pulse, the shiver of reaction along her spine as he deepened the kiss even further, the searching stroke of his tongue drawing a sigh of pure pleasure from deep within her. She kissed him back without restraint, her teeth scraping along the surface of his in her desperate need to have more of him, her tongue mating with his, the primal urge so strong she had no control over it.
One of his hands found her breast, skilfully lifting her top out of the way, his fingers stroking over the tight nipple in little circles that sent arrows of sensation through her belly. Her breasts had always been sensitive to his touch but with the surge of pregnancy hormones in her system the pleasure was almost unbearable.
Xavier pulled back and looked down at her uptilted face and passion-glazed eyes. ‘Why don’t we take this indoors?’
Carli felt rationality seep back into her veins where the heady throb of passion had just been. What had she been thinking—that things between them would magically return to harmony as if the last five years hadn’t existed?
Yes, he’d finally seen his parents in a realistic light but that didn’t change the fact that he didn’t love her any more. She knew he wouldn’t have re-entered her life if she hadn’t told him about the pregnancy. The Xavier she’d known in the past would have let no one stand in his way if he’d wanted something. It wouldn’t have mattered that he’d made some vague promise to leave her alone. If he’d truly cared he would have been on her doorstep the very next day. Instead, four long months had passed and not a single word.
‘No,’ she said.
‘No as in let’s finish it here, or no as in no?’ he asked.
She met his eyes determinedly. ‘No as in no.’
‘I see.’
She opened her door but within seconds he was around her side, his expression grim and his tone sliding into bitterness. ‘I suppose this is your way to get back at me. Even though you want me you’re prepared to punish yourself in the process of extracting revenge.’
‘I told you before I’m not interested in a physical relationship with you,’ she said, pushing away from the car.
‘You’re carrying my child, for God’s sake!’ He strode angrily beside her as she made her way to the house. ‘What are you doing, saving yourself for someone special?’
Carli swung around to glare at him. ‘Yes, as a matter of fact, I am waiting for someone special.’
‘Oh, really? Anyone I might know?’ His tone was deliberately mocking. ‘Maybe I should have a couple of beers with him to let him know what he’s in for.’ He opened the front door and held it open for her, adding, ‘Does he know about your propensity for violence when you get pushed into a corner?’
Carli reined in her temper with an effort. ‘I don’t wish to continue this conversation.’
‘No, of course you don’t. You don’t like being in the guilty seat, do you? That’s been set aside for me all these years.’
‘If the seat fits, sit in it,’ she bit out.
She brushed past him to make her way upstairs but he snagged one of her arms on the way past and turned her to face him. ‘I did my best, Carli. I worked my butt off for us both but it wasn’t enough for you. You wanted what I couldn’t give.’
She pulled herself out of his hold. �
�Yes, because, while you gave me everything money could buy, there was one thing you just wouldn’t give—yourself.’
‘I suppose you’re going to let me know in intimate detail all the times I neglected to tell you of my feelings and when I didn’t demonstrate enough affection or say the right words. What you wanted was a cardboard cut-out of the perfect husband. Some sort of puppet to pander to your ever-changing needs. But I’m not a puppet, Carli; I’m a man with real feelings and issues just like everybody else. So I got it wrong a few times, who doesn’t? You didn’t get it right all that often yourself. There were so many times when I wanted to tell you of what I was facing at work but I didn’t because I knew you were so focused on what you needed, you didn’t give a damn for what was going on in my life.’
‘That’s not true! I was always there for you!’
He gave her a look of disdain as he loosened his tie. ‘Were you?’
She lowered her eyes, suddenly uncomfortable with the weight of his steely gaze.
‘You were always going on about the injustice of it all. How marriage was an institution designed to keep women under the thumb. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I had to face certain injustices as well?’ He shrugged himself out of his jacket and flung it to one side. ‘I had to provide for you while you were studying, but did I ever complain? I worked eighty-hour weeks to build our future. Little did I know you were putting in double that time behind my back to destroy it.’
‘Our marriage only had room for one career and that was yours,’ she threw back bitterly. ‘I just wish you’d told me it was going to be that way before I married you.’
‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Carli. What the hell did you want me to do—list down all the possible outcomes of our relationship just so you could prepare yourself?’
‘I did my best…’ She compressed her lips together, valiantly fighting the urge to cry.
‘Well, maybe your best just wasn’t good enough.’ He tossed his keys to the hall table, their metallic clatter as they landed jarring her overstretched nerves.
He strode past her up the stairs. ‘Make yourself at home; I’m sure you know where everything is by now. Goodnight.’
Carli watched in silence as he disappeared from sight, the heaviness of his accusation keeping her pinned to the spot in sudden, crushing guilt.
When Carli came downstairs the next morning Xavier was standing at the kitchen counter sipping a cup of coffee while he read the morning paper. He looked up when she came in and, putting his cup down, straightened to his full height.
‘Carli, about last night…’ He paused as if searching for the right words to say. ‘It was wrong of me to pressure you.’ He ran a hand through his hair, disturbing its early-morning neatness. ‘Old habits die hard, to use an ironic choice of words.’
‘It’s OK.’ She could feel the warm colour creeping into her cheeks but held his gaze regardless.
‘No, it’s not OK. You have the right to say no. At all times and under any circumstances, we both know the law on that one.’ His eyes left her momentarily to glance at his watch. ‘I have to be in court in the hour. I’ll call you during the day.’
‘You don’t have to bother.’
He came around the counter to tip up her chin so she had to look at him. ‘Hey, it’s no bother. Got that?’
She gave the small nod his hold allowed. ‘Got that.’
‘Good girl.’ He tapped her on the end of her nose and stepped away. ‘Look after that baby of mine, OK?’
She did her best to smile although her face ached with the effort. ‘I will.’
The drive to her place of work was agonisingly slow, the early heat of the January morning escalating to such a degree that her clothes were completely damp by the time she arrived.
She felt flustered and uncomfortable and for the first time began to notice how run-down and shabby the offices were. To make matters worse, each and every client who trailed through the door seemed to be intent on having her run ragged in pursuit of their particular idea of justice.
At mid-morning she thought longingly of a plush suite of offices with a harbour view, and by mid-afternoon was dreaming of air-conditioning that functioned as it should and a secretary who could actually spell.
By the time six o’clock came she was almost asleep at her desk.
She pushed the tedious paperwork aside and got to her feet and stretched, wincing as a deep pain in her abdomen caught her off guard.
She gripped the edge of the desk and took several deep breaths, doing her best to keep control of her rising panic.
The telephone rang beside her and in between breaths she reached to pick it up. ‘Carla Gresham.’
‘Carli, it’s me.’ Xavier’s deep voice sounded in her ear.
‘Hello…’
‘You sound breathless.’
‘It’s…hot.’
‘Thirty-seven in the shade,’ he informed her. ‘What’s it like out in the west?’
‘There’s no shade.’
‘As bad as that?’ Amusement leaked into his tone. ‘What time will you be home?’
Home.
How normal he made it sound!
‘If all goes well, in about an hour.’ She sucked in another breath as the pain hit her again.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked.
‘I’m…fine.’
‘You sound…weird.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ he said. ‘Hard day at the office?’
‘No more than usual.’
‘Why don’t you wait there and I’ll pick you up?’
She clung to her independence even though she was touched by his concern. But then she remembered how much he wanted the baby and knew the concern had very little to do with her personally; it was the baby he was thinking of, not her.
‘I’m leaving right this minute anyway so don’t bother.’
‘It’s no bother.’
‘I need the drive home to relax.’
‘If you find driving in Sydney traffic relaxing then there is something seriously wrong with you,’ he said drily.
‘There’s nothing wrong with me!’ she insisted.
‘Drive safely, then,’ he said. ‘That’s my baby you’ve got on board there.’
‘How could I ever forget?’ she asked and plonked the phone back down before he could respond.
Xavier stared at the receiver in his hand and wondered if he should ring her back and insist on having his way, but before he could press redial his secretary poked her head around the door and held out a file to him.
‘Here’s the Dangar file you asked for,’ she said. ‘But let me tell you he’s not going to be too happy about you handing him over to Michael. He wants you and only you.’
Xavier sighed as he took the file. ‘Leave it with me. I’ll call him tomorrow and see if I can change his mind.’
Elaine folded her arms across her ample chest and surveyed his darkly handsome features. ‘So…are you going to tell me why you’re not going to act for him?’
‘It’s none of your business.’
‘Can I take a guess?’ Elaine’s light blue eyes twinkled knowingly.
‘If you must.’
‘Well…since I’ve never known you to hand over a case before, I’m assuming it’s because of someone you don’t want to lock heads with.’
‘Go on.’
‘Would that someone be your ex-wife?’
He leant back in his chair and gave his pen a click. ‘Why don’t you go home to that husband of yours and get out his pipe and slippers like all good wives should be doing at this hour?’
Elaine gave him a mischievous grin. ‘Is that what you expect Carli to do now that she’s come home to you?’
He gave her a scowl as he pushed back his chair to get up. ‘Carli would love to give me a pipe and slippers but I’m not sure she’d put them exactly where I wanted them.’
‘She’s a sweet little thing,’ Elaine said with one fin
ger on her chin in a musing pose. ‘Makes me kind of wonder how you two ever got together in the first place.’
‘Meaning?’ One dark brow came up in an arc.
Elaine shifted her weight to one generous hip. ‘You still love her, don’t you?’
Xavier’s frown deepened. ‘I pay you to keep my public life organised, not to pry into my private life.’
‘I can’t organise your public life if your private life is a mess,’ Elaine pointed out with legal expertise.
‘My private life is not a mess.’
‘Isn’t it?’ she asked and before he could respond she closed the office door, locking him in with his denial hovering on his lips.
Carli decided at the last minute to call in at her doctor’s surgery, for even though the pain she’d experienced had gone, she couldn’t help feeling worried in case something was going wrong with her pregnancy.
Dr Green was reassuring but realistic. ‘Carli, a pregnancy isn’t always as straightforward as one would hope. You’re in reasonably good health but with the amount of hours you’re currently working you’re asking a lot of yourself. Your blood pressure is slightly elevated, which isn’t good for you or the baby. Have you considered taking some time off work? A week or two would make all the difference at this stage.’
‘I don’t know…’
‘What about your personal life?’ the doctor asked. ‘I realise your relationship with the baby’s father is somewhat complicated. Have you come to some sort of arrangement with him?’
‘Sort of,’ she answered, wondering what the doctor would say if she was to tell her of Xavier’s ultimatum to get her to live with him. An ultimatum she had snatched at with two greedy, desperate hands.
‘Well, my advice is to have a couple of weeks’ rest. Come and see me after that and if your health hasn’t improved you may have to consider working part-time until the baby comes.’
Carli left the doctor’s surgery and made her way to Xavier’s house, wondering how her life had become so terribly complicated. Four months ago she had been single and career-driven, her work her entire focus, morning noon and night. Meeting Xavier again had changed everything, turning her ordered life upside down in the blink of an eye. Her career aspirations had taken a nosedive to make room for the baby she carried, with all her ideals fading away as if they’d never been.
Back In Her Husband's Bed (Bedded By Blackmail) Page 8