Which meant, Michelle thought, she would need to have a nursery set up, too.
“What about the relationship part of the arrangement?” Thad asked.
“Don’t try to hide anything from the court—or social services,” Glenn warned. “Be clear about whatever it is. And be prepared to talk to Judge Barnes about it again during your next court date—a week from Monday.”
What if, Michelle thought, we don’t know what our relationship is?
“Meantime, I’ll notify Tamara Kelly that you are petitioning to adopt William, as well, and get her started on your home study,” Glenn promised Michelle.
“Thanks, Glenn.”
“No problem.” Her partner smiled. A devoted family man himself, he clearly wanted this to work out for them the way they wanted.
Yet he was skeptical, too, probably because she and Thad hadn’t said they were in love or planned to get married. Michelle had seen it in the brief hesitation in Glenn’s actions when they’d first told him why they had asked to meet him at his office.
Michelle, William and Thad left and headed back to Thad’s SUV. “I was going to drive to Fort Stockton today to purchase a crib and a changing table. Interested?”
Michelle had already rescheduled her appointments for the next few days. “I’m going to need some baby gear, too.” And after that, they could start working out some of the details of their baby-sharing arrangement.
* * *
“WOW,” MICHELLE SAID as they wandered through the furniture store geared exclusively for kids. Thad was carrying William now. “I had no idea they had so many different kinds of cribs and kids’ beds.”
“Amazing, isn’t it?” Thad stopped in front of a wooden crib painted fire-engine red.
Michelle looked at a similar one in white. Then one in mahogany.
She looked back at Thad. “Do you think we should both get the same kind of crib and bedding? Or mix it up a little?”
“Good question.” Thad smiled at a red-white-and-blue chenille rug shaped like a dump truck. “The same bedding would make him feel at home wherever he was.”
“But it could get a little boring, too.”
“I guess different, then,” Thad said. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to go with the mahogany, and get this car-and-truck sheet set.”
“I’ll get the white crib, changing table and glider rocker with the animal-safari sheets.”
As they went off to find a salesperson, Thad stopped in front of a bed shaped like a boat. He grinned. “Things have sure changed since I was a kid.”
Michelle nodded as they passed a very pregnant woman and her husband, along with two toddlers, debating over a train table and easel.
The woman looked up and smiled at Thad and Michelle and the baby in Thad’s arms, obviously thinking they were just another family.
The surprising thing was, the three of them felt like a family.
“How was your bedroom decorated when you were little?” Michelle studied a vivid display of wall art.
Thad moved in close to make way for a woman with a double stroller trying to get through the aisle. “It changed. I remember something about a train when I was in kindergarten, and then when I entered elementary school, everyone was really into spaceships. When I outgrew that, my room was more of a mess than anything else. What about you?” He shifted William as they waited their turn at the sales desk.
“I never had a kids’ room. My parents believed that traditional little-girl themes—like princesses and kittens—lowered the intellect of the child. So my bedroom was decorated with Renoir and Monet prints, the bed linens were Egyptian cotton. The study desk was really nice, though.”
“I bet.” His gaze roamed over her silk sweater and slacks. “Were you ever allowed to get dirty and messy? You know, climb trees and ride bikes and all that stuff.”
“I was taught how to ride a bike and swim. My mother and father thought those were necessary skills. Beyond that, the only time I was allowed to run free on a playground was at school recess.”
“What kind of childhood would you like to see William have?” he asked.
“If I could wish one thing for him, I’d want him to be free,” Michelle said. “Free to explore and just be whatever he wants to be.” She studied Thad’s generous smile. “What about you? What kind of childhood would you like to see William have?”
“I want him to feel loved and wanted, secure in his place in our family and in the world.”
They were in the BMW and almost back in Summit when Thad’s cell phone rang. The road was treacherous, twisting, with no place to pull over. He inclined his head toward the holder clipped to his belt. “Would you mind grabbing that and just hitting the speaker button? I’ll take it from there.”
Flushing a little, Michelle did as directed.
“Thad Garner,” he said.
“Hey, Thad. It’s Violet Hunter. I just saw your message. And I think I might be able to help you out.”
Thad kept his eyes on the road. “Actually, Violet, it’s not a good time to talk. I’m driving back from Fort Stockton. I’ll get back to you later,” he said.
“I’ll wait for you to call,” Violet said cheerfully.
Thad hit the off button. As the road straightened out, he shifted and slid the phone back in his belt clip.
Michelle knew that whatever Thad wanted to talk to Violet about was none of her business. It shouldn’t even matter that Violet still had a crush on Thad. Still, it bothered her. By the time they reached Summit, Michelle knew what she had to do. She turned to Thad as they got out of the car.
“If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to have William by myself for a while this afternoon. See what it’s like to be a mom, instead of just a family friend.”
Thad thought for a moment, then said, “Good idea. I’ve got some work to do on the nursery at my house. It’ll go a lot faster if William is with you.”
* * *
HOLDING WILLIAM IN her arms, Michelle walked through the house and tried to see the place as a social worker would.
Her home was definitely the abode of a single woman. The downstairs living room had cream-colored furniture, elegant lamps and beautiful framed prints on the walls. The television was hidden in a stylish armoire. Even the coffee table was an elaborate creation of glass and wood. There wasn’t a toy or piece of baby gear in sight.
The dining room was formal, the kitchen outfitted with every gourmet-cooking appliance imaginable.
The second floor of her cozy Arts and Crafts house was just as elegant—and the reason she’d bought the house. The previous owner had raised the ceiling to the attic rafters, ripped out the second bedroom and turned it into a sumptuous master bath with a huge, built-in closet. There was no place for a nursery on either floor.
But there was plenty of room in her heart, Michelle thought as she carried William back downstairs and settled with him on the sofa. If only she hadn’t fallen in love with a child before, to disastrous result, she thought, resting her cheek against the downy softness of William’s head. Maybe then she would feel a little more confident that it was all going to work out. That Judge Barnes would see she was the mother this little boy wanted and needed.
As an attorney, she knew it was up to her to make sure he did. Feeling empowered, now that she knew what she had to do, Michelle headed back across the street.
Thad answered the door. He was dressed to work—in an old T-shirt, jeans and sneakers. He had a smudge of navy paint across his jaw, another across his cheek. Perspiration clung to his forehead and the back of his neck. He looked at the baby dozing in her arms. “Everything okay?”
“We need to talk,” Michelle said.
* * *
HE NOTICED WILLIAM was swaddled. “I forgot to give you something for William to sleep in, didn’t I?” he said.
“It’s okay. I forgot, too.” Michelle was already heading for the Moses basket in the corner. She gently lowered William into it. He stirred, as if trying to wake up. Sprea
ding her palm across the width of his chest, she touched him lightly, all the while shushing him softly.
After a moment he seemed to settle. Then he was asleep. Michelle backed away quietly.
Figuring he might as well get her opinion on something while she was here and happy to postpone whatever it was she needed to tell him, Thad motioned her up the stairs. “Where’d you learn to soothe him like that?” he whispered, impressed she’d managed to keep the baby from waking up during the transfer from arms to bed.
Michelle shrugged. “I figured it out on my own. He sleeps best when reassured—by touch—that he’s not alone.”
Or been abandoned again.
“That’s why the canvas baby carriers work so well.”
“Ah.” Thad led Michelle into the room that had once been his office. And was now—thanks to some marathon clearing out and transferring to the garage—soon to be William’s nursery.
“I went to the paint store and got this child-safe, fume-free color, but once I started to put it on…” Thad looked at the wall he’d painted. “What do you think? It’s too dark a blue, isn’t it?”
Hands on her hips, Michelle stepped back and regarded what he had done. “To do the whole room in? Yeah, it is.” She tilted her head to one side. “Unless you want it to always feel like nighttime in here.”
Thad sighed in frustration. The color was good for sleeping, not playing. “Not exactly the look I was going for.”
Michelle tossed him a reassuring smile. “All isn’t lost. You could use it on the lower third of the wall and then paint a lighter blue above that. I’m sure William would like that.”
Thad exhaled in relief. He was trying to be superdad here, but decorating really was not his thing. “I want to get this done today, so I can at least get his crib up before the next unannounced visit from Tamara.”
“Just make sure you get the same undertone in each shade,” Michelle cautioned.
Thad blinked. “Say that again?”
Michelle checked her watch. “Tell you what,” she said, making note of the color shade written on the can. “I’ll run to the paint store now. Anything else you need?”
Thad shrugged. He hadn’t a clue. “You tell me.”
Michelle looked around again, seeming to miss nothing, regarding his amateurish attempt. “I’ll be right back. And, Thad, I know the manufacturer said no fumes…”
Thad knew where she was going with this. Before, it had been just him. Now, William was in the house, too. “I’ll open all the windows on this floor,” he promised.
Thad kept an ear out for William as he measured the wall into thirds and penciled in a line. He even went down and checked on William once he’d taped off the areas to be painted. To his amazement, the little guy kept right on sleeping.
There was a click behind Thad as Michelle let herself in the front door.
She had changed into an old T-shirt, sneakers and a pair of worn, paint-splattered jeans. She set down the paint can she’d bought and tiptoed over to where he stood. “Guess we wore him out with our shopping trip,” Thad whispered.
Michelle nodded and leaned in for a closer look. “There was a lot to look at,” she whispered.
He followed her back to the foyer, picked up the five-gallon can and sack of supplies she’d purchased. They headed up the stairs.
She knelt to pry open the can. Thad took a look at the coordinating pale blue shade. “That’s nice.”
She’d also bought an extra pan and roller.
“How about you take the top and I’ll take the bottom? Since you’re tall and I’m not.”
“No problem.” Their fingers touched as he handed over the roller, already saturated with the dark blue paint. Relishing how good it felt to be working side by side with her on this, Thad asked, “So what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
Without warning, she seemed to be holding him at arm’s length once again. “I was thinking we should sit down as soon as possible and work out our custody arrangement.” She sounded practical, matter-of-fact. “You know—what nights I’ll have William, when you’ll have him…and then we’ll draw up a plan.”
“Alternate holidays,” Thad joked, thinking how much this sounded like they were splitting up, instead of coming together.
Michelle tensed. “Yes,” she said slowly, concentrating on her painting now, “I suppose that, too.”
That wasn’t what Thad wanted. He had no qualms about making his opinion known. “Do we really have to be this regimented about it?” he asked. He had envisioned a much looser arrangement. One that had them popping in and out of each other’s homes, at whim.
Michelle painted the same way she made love, with slow, thoughtful strokes. “The court will want to know, Thad.” She focused on her task. “And I think it’s best. This way we’ll avoid any misunderstandings.”
“Like what?” Thad countered, feeling as if they were on the verge of their first fight.
Finished with the spot she was in, Michelle shifted several feet to the left. “We should split the cost of William’s babysitter. Whoever is off first should pick him up.”
Thad used a brush to paint along the trim line. “That seems reasonable.”
Michelle pressed her lips together. “That way he won’t have to be with the sitter more than three or four days a week at most. As for nights…that’s a little trickier. I’d like to have him fifty percent of the time, if that’s okay with you.”
Wow. She had thought this out. Though Thad knew it was only fair she enjoy her share of nighttime feedings, since those were the times when William was likely to be most in need of rocking and cuddling.
“What else?” He tried not to think about the evenings he wouldn’t spend looking after William anymore. Funny how quickly the little guy had become a major part of his existence, to the point Thad could no longer imagine his life without him.
“My home,” she said, “is not set up for a separate nursery. I can put the crib and changing table in my bedroom for now, but eventually, I’m going to have to hire an architect and put a two-story addition on if I want a room for William upstairs next to mine. Which I do.”
“Okay,” Thad said, not sure what she was getting at.
“And it could take a while to get the construction completed. In the meantime, I really think he needs the comfort and stability of his own nursery.”
His hopes for a more congenial arrangement rose. “You want to stay with us on the nights you’re the responsible parent?” He could go for that.
She looked at him as if shocked he would think her so presumptuous. “I want us to do what some divorcing couples do when they share custody and want to give the kids the reassuring comfort of their own space, in their own home. It’s called ‘bird-nesting.’ The kids stay in the same place—it’s the parents who come in and out, when it’s their turn.”
“So on your nights, you’d sleep here…”
Michelle nodded. “And you’d sleep at my house, in my bed.”
Thad could easily imagine trekking everything back and forth, but to sleep in her bed—and have her in his? How would he be able to do that and not think about making love to her again?
But then, maybe that was what this was all leading up to. Maybe she just needed him to slow down in the romance department while they figured out how to co-parent. All Thad knew for certain was that he wanted to be with Michelle as much as he wanted to be with William.
A spot of color appeared in Michelle’s cheeks. “It would certainly keep us from having to duplicate everything—in the short term. Until the adoption goes through, officially. And then, as William settles in and I get a place set up for him in my home, we could gradually transition him into spending half his time with me and half his time with you.”
“Sounds…complicated,” Thad said. Almost as if she already had one foot in the door and one foot out.
“Not really,” Michelle said, not meeting his eyes. “This is actually going to be easier for us in the short
term. And it’s not like William would never be at my place with me. He would be. At first, like now, for small periods of time. For afternoons. Naps. While I’m also doing laundry and things like that. But once the construction starts, you know as well as I do that it’ll be too noisy and disruptive for him to be there.”
She had a point there. The sound of nail guns and hammers drove him crazy, Thad thought, and he was an adult. Just the sound of the vacuum cleaner had awakened and frightened the little guy the other day.
Michelle knelt to refill her paint tray. “The bottom line is, we have to be as proactive and consistent as possible in what we do where he is concerned.”
“And here I thought we’d just parent by the seat of our pants,” Thad joked.
Michelle lifted a censuring brow and rolled the last of the dark blue paint on the lower walls.
Thad had seen women lose their sense of humor when it came to issues like this. He’d hoped Michelle would not be one of them. He cleared his throat. “Seriously, I see your point. Although I don’t think William is all that aware of his surroundings.”
“But he will be,” Michelle predicted. “He’s getting more and more alert every day.”
“Speaking of which…” Thad finished applying the light blue paint and set the roller in the tray. He glanced at his watch. It had been nearly four and a half hours since the last feeding. “William should have been awake half an hour ago.”
Alarm flashed in Michelle’s eyes. Thad knew exactly how she felt. Usually William let them know when it was time to feed him.
“I’ll check on him.” Michelle was out the door like a shot.
Thad was hard on her heels.
They bounded down the stairs and into the living room, over to the Moses basket, where William was sleeping.
Eyes open, he had worked one arm out of his blanket and was lying quietly, looking up at the ceiling. Although he wasn’t making a sound, Thad noted his cheeks looked a little pink.
The Texas Rancher's Vow: The Texas Rancher's VowFound: One Baby Page 30