_A Rose of the Ghetto._
One day it occurred to Leibel that he ought to get married. He went toSugarman the Shadchan forthwith.
"I have the very thing for you," said the great marriage-broker.
"Is she pretty?" asked Leibel.
"Her father has a boot and shoe warehouse," replied Sugarmanenthusiastically.
"Then there ought to be a dowry with her," said Leibel eagerly.
"Certainly a dowry! A fine man like you!"
"How much do you think it would be?"
"Of course it is not a large warehouse; but then you could get yourboots at trade price, and your wife's, perhaps, for the cost of theleather."
"When could I see her?"
"I will arrange for you to call next Sabbath afternoon."
"You won't charge me more than a sovereign?"
"Not a _groschen_ more! Such a pious maiden! I'm sure you will behappy. She has so much way-of-the-country [breeding]. And, of course,five per cent on the dowry?"
"H'm! Well, I don't mind!" "Perhaps they won't give a dowry," hethought, with a consolatory sense of outwitting the Shadchan.
On the Saturday Leibel went to see the damsel, and on the Sunday hewent to see Sugarman the Shadchan.
"But your maiden squints!" he cried resentfully.
"An excellent thing!" said Sugarman. "A wife who squints can neverlook her husband straight in the face and overwhelm him. Who wouldquail before a woman with a squint?"
"I could endure the squint," went on Leibel dubiously, "but she alsostammers."
"Well, what is better, in the event of a quarrel? The difficulty shehas in talking will keep her far more silent than most wives. You hadbest secure her while you have the chance."
"But she halts on the left leg," cried Leibel, exasperated.
"_Gott in Himmel!_ Do you mean to say you do not see what an advantageit is to have a wife unable to accompany you in all your goings?"
Leibel lost patience.
"Why, the girl is a hunchback!" he protested furiously.
"My dear Leibel," said the marriage-broker, deprecatingly shrugginghis shoulders and spreading out his palms. "You can't expectperfection!"
Nevertheless, Leibel persisted in his unreasonable attitude. Heaccused Sugarman of wasting his time, of making a fool of him.
"A fool of you!" echoed the Shadchan indignantly, "when I give you achance of a boot and shoe manufacturer's daughter. You will make afool of yourself if you refuse. I daresay her dowry would be enough toset you up as a master-tailor. At present you are compelled to slaveaway as a cutter for thirty shillings a week. It is most unjust. Ifyou only had a few machines you would be able to employ your owncutters. And they can be got so cheap nowadays."
This gave Leibel pause, and he departed without having definitelybroken the negotiations. His whole week was befogged by doubt, hiswork became uncertain, his chalk-marks lacked their usual decision,and he did not always cut his coat according to his cloth. Hisaberrations became so marked that pretty Rose Green, the sweater'seldest daughter, who managed a machine in the same room, divined, withall a woman's intuition, that he was in love.
"What is the matter?" she said in rallying Yiddish, when they weretaking their lunch of bread and cheese and ginger-beer, amid theclatter of machines, whose serfs had not yet knocked off work.
"They are proposing me a match," he answered sullenly.
"A match!" ejaculated Rose. "Thou!" She had worked by his side foryears, and familiarity bred the second person singular. Leibel noddedhis head, and put a mouthful of Dutch cheese into it.
"With whom?" asked Rose. Somehow he felt ashamed. He gurgled theanswer into the stone ginger-beer bottle, which he put to his thirstylips.
"With Leah Volcovitch!"
"Leah Volcovitch!" gasped Rose. "Leah, the boot and shoemanufacturer's daughter?"
Leibel hung his head--he scarce knew why. He did not dare meet hergaze. His droop said "Yes." There was a long pause.
"And why dost thou not have her?" said Rose. It was more than anenquiry. There was contempt in it, and perhaps even pique.
Leibel did not reply. The embarrassing silence reigned again, andreigned long. Rose broke it at last.
"Is it that thou likest me better?" she asked.
Leibel seemed to see a ball of lightning in the air; it burst, and hefelt the electric current strike right through his heart. The shockthrew his head up with a jerk, so that his eyes gazed into a facewhose beauty and tenderness were revealed to him for the first time.The face of his old acquaintance had vanished--this was a cajoling,coquettish, smiling face, suggesting undreamed-of things.
"_Nu_, yes," he replied, without perceptible pause.
"_Nu_, good!" she rejoined as quickly.
And in the ecstasy of that moment of mutual understanding Leibelforgot to wonder why he had never thought of Rose before. Afterwardshe remembered that she had always been his social superior.
The situation seemed too dreamlike for explanation to the room justyet. Leibel lovingly passed the bottle of ginger-beer and Rose took asip, with a beautiful air of plighting troth, understood only of thosetwo. When Leibel quaffed the remnant it intoxicated him. The relics ofthe bread and cheese were the ambrosia to this nectar. They did notdare kiss--the suddenness of it all left them bashful, and the smackof lips would have been like a cannon-peal announcing theirengagement. There was a subtler sweetness in this sense of a secret,apart from the fact that neither cared to break the news to themaster-tailor--a stern little old man. Leibel's chalk-marks continuedindecisive that afternoon; which shows how correctly Rose hadconnected them with love.
Before he left that night Rose said to him: "Art thou sure thouwouldst not rather have Leah Volcovitch?"
"Not for all the boots and shoes in the world," replied Leibelvehemently.
"And I," protested Rose, "would rather go without my own than withoutthee."
The landing outside the workshop was so badly lighted that their lipscame together in the darkness.
"Nay, nay, thou must not yet," said Rose. "Thou art still courtingLeah Volcovitch. For aught thou knowest, Sugarman the Shadchan mayhave entangled thee beyond redemption."
"Not so," asserted Leibel. "I have only seen the maiden once."
"Yes. But Sugarman has seen her father several times," persisted Rose."For so misshapen a maiden his commission would be large. Thou must goto Sugarman to-night, and tell him that thou canst not find it in thyheart to go on with the match."
"Kiss me, and I will go," pleaded Leibel.
"Go, and I will kiss thee," said Rose resolutely.
"And when shall we tell thy father?" he asked, pressing her hand, asthe next best thing to her lips.
"As soon as thou art free from Leah."
"But will he consent?"
"He will not be glad," said Rose frankly. "But after mother'sdeath--peace be upon her--the rule passed from her hands into mine."
"Ah, that is well," said Leibel. He was a superficial thinker.
Leibel found Sugarman at supper. The great Shadchan offered him achair, but nothing else. Hospitality was associated in his mind withspecial occasions only, and involved lemonade and "stuffed monkeys."
He was very put out--almost to the point of indigestion--to hear ofLeibel's final determination, and plied him with reproachfulenquiries.
"You don't mean to say that you give up a boot and shoe manufacturermerely because his daughter has round shoulders!" he exclaimedincredulously.
"It is more than round shoulders--it is a hump!" cried Leibel.
"And suppose? See how much better off you will be when you get yourown machines! We do not refuse to let camels carry our burdens becausethey have humps."
"Ah, but a wife is not a camel," said Leibel, with a sage air.
"And a cutter is not a master-tailor," retorted Sugarman.
"Enough, enough!" cried Leibel. "I tell you I would not have her ifshe were a machine warehouse."
"There sticks something behind," persiste
d Sugarman, unconvinced.
Leibel shook his head. "Only her hump," he said, with a flash ofhumour.
"Moses Mendelssohn had a hump," expostulated Sugarman reproachfully.
"Yes, but he was a heretic," rejoined Leibel, who was not withoutreading. "And then he was a man! A man with two humps could find awife for each. But a woman with a hump cannot expect a husband inaddition."
"Guard your tongue from evil," quoth the Shadchan angrily. "Ifeverybody were to talk like you, Leah Volcovitch would never bemarried at all."
Leibel shrugged his shoulders, and reminded him that hunchbacked girlswho stammered and squinted and halted on left legs were not usuallyled under the canopy.
"Nonsense! Stuff!" cried Sugarman angrily. "That is because they donot come to me."
"Leah Volcovitch _has_ come to you," said Leibel, "but she shall notcome to me." And he rose, anxious to escape.
Instantly Sugarman gave a sigh of resignation. "Be it so! Then I shallhave to look out for another, that's all."
"No, I don't want any," replied Leibel quickly.
Sugarman stopped eating. "You don't want any?" he cried. "But you cameto me for one?"
"I--I--know," stammered Leibel. "But I've--I've altered my mind."
"One needs Hillel's patience to deal with you!" cried Sugarman. "But Ishall charge you all the same for my trouble. You cannot cancel anorder like this in the middle! No, no! You can play fast and loosewith Leah Volcovitch. But you shall not make a fool of me."
"But if I don't want one?" said Leibel sullenly.
Sugarman gazed at him with a cunning look of suspicion. "Didn't I saythere was something sticking behind?"
Leibel felt guilty. "But whom have you got in your eye?" he enquireddesperately.
"Perhaps you may have some one in yours!" naively answered Sugarman.
Leibel gave a hypocritic long-drawn, "U-m-m-m. I wonder if RoseGreen--where I work--" he said, and stopped.
"I fear not," said Sugarman. "She is on my list. Her father gave herto me some months ago, but he is hard to please. Even the maidenherself is not easy, being pretty."
"Perhaps she has waited for some one," suggested Leibel.
Sugarman's keen ear caught the note of complacent triumph.
"You have been asking her yourself!" he exclaimed in horror-strickenaccents.
"And if I have?" said Leibel defiantly.
"You have cheated me! And so has Eliphaz Green--I always knew he wastricky! You have both defrauded me!"
"I did not mean to," said Leibel mildly.
"You _did_ mean to. You had no business to take the matter out of myhands. What right had you to propose to Rose Green?"
"I did not," cried Leibel excitedly.
"Then you asked her father!"
"No; I have not asked her father yet."
"Then how do you know she will have you?"
"I--I know," stammered Leibel, feeling himself somehow a liar as wellas a thief. His brain was in a whirl; he could not remember how thething had come about. Certainly he had not proposed; nor could he saythat she had.
"You know she will have you," repeated Sugarman, reflectively. "Anddoes _she_ know?"
"Yes. In fact," he blurted out, "we arranged it together."
"Ah! You both know. And does her father know?"
"Not yet."
"Ah! then I must get his consent," said Sugarman decisively.
"I--I thought of speaking to him myself."
"Yourself!" echoed Sugarman, in horror. "Are you unsound in the head?Why, that would be worse than the mistake you have already made!"
"What mistake?" asked Leibel, firing up.
"The mistake of asking the maiden herself. When you quarrel with herafter your marriage, she will always throw it in your teeth that youwished to marry her. Moreover, if you tell a maiden you love her, herfather will think you ought to marry her as she stands. Still, what isdone is done." And he sighed regretfully.
"And what more do I want? I love her."
"You piece of clay!" cried Sugarman contemptuously. "Love will notturn machines, much less buy them. You must have a dowry. Her fatherhas a big stocking--he can well afford it."
Leibel's eyes lit up. There was really no reason why he should nothave bread-and-cheese with his kisses.
"Now, if _you_ went to her father," pursued the Shadchan, "the oddsare that he would not even give you his daughter--to say nothing ofthe dowry. After all, it is a cheek of you to aspire so high. As youtold me from the first, you haven't saved a penny. Even my commissionyou won't be able to pay till you get the dowry. But if _I_ go, I donot despair of getting a substantial sum--to say nothing of thedaughter."
"Yes, I think you had better go," said Leibel eagerly.
"But if I do this thing for you I shall want a pound more," rejoinedSugarman.
"A pound more!" echoed Leibel, in dismay. "Why?"
"Because Rose Green's hump is of gold," replied Sugarman oracularly."Also, she is fair to see, and many men desire her."
"But you have always your five per cent on the dowry."
"It will be less than Volcovitch's," explained Sugarman. "You see,Green has other and less beautiful daughters."
"Yes; but then it settles itself more easily. Say five shillings."
"Eliphaz Green is a hard man," said the Shadchan instead.
"Ten shillings is the most I will give!"
"Twelve and sixpence is the least I will take. Eliphaz Green hagglesso terribly."
They split the difference, and so eleven and threepence representedthe predominance of Eliphaz Green's stinginess over Volcovitch's.
The very next day Sugarman invaded the Green work-room. Rose bent overher seams, her heart fluttering. Leibel had duly apprised her of theroundabout manner in which she would have to be won, and she hadacquiesced in the comedy. At the least it would save her the troubleof father-taming.
Sugarman's entry was brusque and breathless. He was overwhelmed withjoyous emotion. His blue bandanna trailed agitatedly from hiscoat-tail.
"At last!" he cried, addressing the little white-haired master-tailor,"I have the very man for you."
"Yes?" grunted Eliphaz, unimpressed. The monosyllable was packed withemotion. It said: "Have you really the face to come to me again withan ideal man?"
"He has all the qualities that you desire," began the Shadchan, in atone that repudiated the implications of the monosyllable. "He isyoung, strong, God-fearing--"
"Has he any money?" grumpily interrupted Eliphaz.
"He _will_ have money," replied Sugarman unhesitatingly, "when hemarries."
"Ah!" The father's voice relaxed, and his foot lay limp on thetreadle. He worked one of his machines himself, and paid himself thewages so as to enjoy the profit. "How much will he have?"
"I think he will have fifty pounds; and the least you can do is to lethim have fifty pounds," replied Sugarman, with the same happyambiguity.
Eliphaz shook his head on principle.
"Yes, you will," said Sugarman, "when you learn how fine a man he is."
The flush of confusion and trepidation already on Leibel's countenancebecame a rosy glow of modesty, for he could not help overhearing whatwas being said, owing to the lull of the master-tailor's machine.
"Tell me, then," rejoined Eliphaz.
"Tell me, first, if you will give fifty to a young, healthy,hard-working, God-fearing man, whose idea it is to start as amaster-tailor on his own account? And you know how profitable thatis!"
"To a man like that," said Eliphaz, in a burst of enthusiasm, "I wouldgive as much as twenty-seven pounds ten!"
Sugarman groaned inwardly, but Leibel's heart leaped with joy. To getfour months' wages at a stroke! With twenty-seven pounds ten he couldcertainly procure several machines, especially on the instalmentsystem. Out of the corners of his eyes he shot a glance at Rose, whowas beyond earshot.
"Unless you can promise thirty it is waste of time mentioning hisname," said Sugarman.
"Well, well--who is he?"<
br />
Sugarman bent down, lowering his voice into the father's ear.
"What! Leibel!" cried Eliphaz, outraged.
"Sh!" said Sugarman, "or he will overhear your delight, and ask more.He has his nose high enough as it is."
"B--b--b--ut," sputtered the bewildered parent, "I know Leibel myself.I see him every day. I don't want a Shadchan to find me a man Iknow--a mere hand in my own workshop!"
"Your talk has neither face nor figure," answered Sugarman sternly."It is just the people one sees every day that one knows least. Iwarrant that if I had not put it into your head you would never havedreamt of Leibel as a son-in-law. Come now, confess."
Eliphaz grunted vaguely, and the Shadchan went on triumphantly. "Ithought as much. And yet where could you find a better man to keepyour daughter?"
"He ought to be content with her alone," grumbled her father.
Sugarman saw the signs of weakening, and dashed in, full strength."It's a question whether he will have her at all. I have not been tohim about her yet. I awaited your approval of the idea." Leibeladmired the verbal accuracy of these statements, which he just caught.
"But I didn't know he would be having money," murmured Eliphaz.
"Of course you didn't know. That's what the Shadchan is for--to pointout the things that are under your nose."
"But where will he be getting this money from?"
"From you," said Sugarman frankly.
"From me?"
"From whom else? Are you not his employer? It has been put by for hismarriage-day."
"He has saved it?"
"He has not _spent_ it," said Sugarman, impatiently.
"But do you mean to say he has saved fifty pounds?"
"If he could manage to save fifty pounds out of your wages he would beindeed a treasure," said Sugarman. "Perhaps it might be thirty."
"But you said fifty."
"Well, _you_ came down to thirty," retorted the Shadchan. "You cannotexpect him to have more than your daughter brings."
"I never said thirty," Eliphaz reminded him. "Twenty-seven ten was mylast bid."
"Very well; that will do as a basis of negotiations," said Sugarmanresignedly. "I will call upon him this evening. If I were to go overand speak to him now he would perceive you were anxious and raise histerms, and that will never do. Of course, you will not mind allowingme a pound more for finding you so economical a son-in-law?"
"Not a penny more."
"You need not fear," said Sugarman resentfully. "It is not likely Ishall be able to persuade him to take so economical a father-in-law.So you will be none the worse for promising."
"Be it so," said Eliphaz, with a gesture of weariness, and he startedhis machine again.
"Twenty-seven pounds ten, remember," said Sugarman, above the whirr.
Eliphaz nodded his head, whirring his wheelwork louder.
"And paid before the wedding, mind?"
The machine took no notice.
"Before the wedding, mind," repeated Sugarman. "Before we go under thecanopy."
"Go now, go now!" grunted Eliphaz, with a gesture of impatience. "Itshall be all well." And the white-haired head bowed immovably over itswork.
In the evening Rose extracted from her father the motive of Sugarman'svisit, and confessed that the idea was to her liking.
"But dost thou think he will have me, little father?" she asked, withcajoling eyes.
"Anyone would have my Rose."
"Ah, but Leibel is different. So many years he has sat at my side andsaid nothing."
"He had his work to think of; he is a good, saving youth."
"At this very moment Sugarman is trying to persuade him--not so? Isuppose he will want much money."
"Be easy, my child." And he passed his discoloured hand over her hair.
Sugarman turned up the next day, and reported that Leibel wasunobtainable under thirty pounds, and Eliphaz, weary of the contest,called over Leibel, till that moment carefully absorbed in hisscientific chalk-marks, and mentioned the thing to him for the firsttime. "I am not a man to bargain," Eliphaz said, and so he gave theyoung man his tawny hand, and a bottle of rum sprang from somewhere,and work was suspended for five minutes, and the "hands" all drankamid surprised excitement. Sugarman's visits had prepared them tocongratulate Rose. But Leibel was a shock.
The formal engagement was marked by even greater junketing, and atlast the marriage-day came. Leibel was resplendent in a diagonalfrock-coat, cut by his own hand, and Rose stepped from the cab amedley of flowers, fairness, and white silk, and behind her came twobridesmaids--her sisters--a trio that glorified the spectator-strewnpavement outside the Synagogue. Eliphaz looked almost tall in hisshiny high hat and frilled shirt-front. Sugarman arrived on foot,carrying red-socked little Ebenezer tucked under his arm.
Leibel and Rose were not the only couple to be disposed of, for it wasthe thirty-third day of the Omer--a day fruitful in marriages.
But at last their turn came. They did not, however, come in theirturn, and their special friends among the audience wondered why theyhad lost their precedence. After several later marriages had takenplace, a whisper began to circulate. The rumour of a hitch gainedground steadily, and the sensation was proportionate. And, indeed, therose was not to be picked without a touch of the thorn.
Gradually the facts leaked out, and a buzz of talk and comment ranthrough the waiting Synagogue. Eliphaz had not paid up!
At first he declared he would put down the money immediately afterthe ceremony. But the wary Sugarman, schooled by experience, demandedits instant delivery on behalf of his other client. Hard-pressed,Eliphaz produced ten sovereigns from his trousers' pocket, andtendered them on account. These Sugarman disdainfully refused, and thenegotiations were suspended. The bridegroom's party was encamped inone room, the bride's in another, and after a painful delay Eliphazsent an emissary to say that half the amount should be forthcoming,the extra five pounds in a bright new Bank of England note. Leibel,instructed and encouraged by Sugarman, stood firm.
And then arose a hubbub of voices, a chaos of suggestions; friendsrushed to and fro between the camps, some emerging from their seats inthe Synagogue to add to the confusion. But Eliphaz had taken his standupon a rock--he had no more ready money. To-morrow, the next day, hewould have some. And Leibel, pale and dogged, clutched tighter atthose machines that were slipping away momently from him. He had notyet seen his bride that morning, and so her face was shadowy comparedwith the tangibility of those machines. Most of the other maidens weremarried women by now, and the situation was growing desperate. Fromthe female camp came terrible rumours of bridesmaids in hysterics, anda bride that tore her wreath in a passion of shame and humiliation.Eliphaz sent word that he would give an I O U for the balance, butthat he really could not muster any more current coin. Sugarmaninstructed the ambassador to suggest that Eliphaz should raise themoney among his friends.
And the short spring day slipped away. In vain the minister, apprisedof the block, lengthened out the formulae for the other pairs, andblessed them with more reposeful unction. It was impossible to staveoff the Leibel-Green item indefinitely, and at last Rose remained theonly orange-wreathed spinster in the Synagogue. And then there was ahush of solemn suspense, that swelled gradually into a steady rumbleof babbling tongues as minute succeeded minute and the final bridalparty still failed to appear. The latest bulletin pictured the bridein a dead faint. The afternoon was waning fast. The minister left hispost near the canopy, under which so many lives had been united, andcame to add his white tie to the forces for compromise. But he faredno better than the others. Incensed at the obstinacy of theantagonists, he declared he would close the Synagogue. He gave thecouple ten minutes to marry in or quit. Then chaos came, andpandemonium--a frantic babel of suggestion and exhortation from thecrowd. When five minutes had passed, a legate from Eliphaz announcedthat his side had scraped together twenty pounds, and that this wastheir final bid.
Leibel wavered; the long day's combat had told upon him; the report
sof the bride's distress had weakened him. Even Sugarman had lost hiscocksureness of victory. A few minutes more and both commissions mightslip through his fingers. Once the parties left the Synagogue it wouldnot be easy to drive them there another day. But he cheered on his manstill--one could always surrender at the tenth minute.
At the eighth the buzz of tongues faltered suddenly, to be transposedinto a new key, so to speak. Through the gesticulating assembly sweptthat murmur of expectation which crowds know when the procession iscoming at last. By some mysterious magnetism all were aware that theBRIDE herself--the poor hysteric bride--had left the paternal camp,was coming in person to plead with her mercenary lover.
And as the glory of her and the flowers and the white draperies loomedupon Leibel's vision his heart melted in worship, and he knew hiscitadel would crumble in ruins at her first glance, at her firsttouch. Was it fair fighting? As his troubled vision cleared and as shecame nigh unto him, he saw to his amazement that she was speckless andcomposed--no trace of tears dimmed the fairness of her face, there wasno disarray in her bridal wreath.
The clock showed the ninth minute.
She put her hand appealingly on his arm, while a heavenly light cameinto her face--the expression of a Joan of Arc animating her country.
"Do not give in, Leibel," she said. "Do not have me! Do not let thempersuade thee. By my life thou must not! Go home!"
"'BY MY LIFE THOU MUST NOT!'"]
So at the eleventh minute the vanquished Eliphaz produced the balance,and they all lived happily ever afterwards.
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies Page 11