After she had cleaned him up and managed to change his top, she went downstairs to get him some porridge. He probably wouldn’t eat very much, but she felt he needed to keep his strength.
“Miriam, you’re still here,” Joshua said weakly when she came back upstairs.
“Jah, I certainly am and I’m not going to leave you alone,” she said, putting the tray on the nightstand. “Now I want you to sit up and have some juice and eat a little bit of porridge.”
“I’m really not hungry,” Joshua protested again.
“Joshua,” Miriam said sternly. “You are going to have to get this food and juice into you if you want to get better.”
Joshua looked at Miriam in shock but smiled. “Okay, I certainly don’t want you to get mad at me.”
Miriam grinned at him. “That’s better; now drink some juice.”
She fed him some porridge and although he didn’t eat the whole bowl, he ate quite a bit.
“Danke. I guess I was hungrier than I thought,” he said, sinking back down in bed. “Would you read my Bible to me, Miriam?”
“Of course,” Miriam said. “But first, I need you to go into the bathroom and check your legs for any sign of the rash.”
“Alright. I don’t feel itchy anywhere though.”
“That’s a good sign.”
He slowly climbed out of bed and headed into the bathroom.
She set the tray of dishes over on the dresser then pulled a chair close to his bed.
A few moments later, Joshua came back into the room. “I don’t see a rash anywhere.”
“That’s wonderful news.” Thank You, Gott, she said to herself.
She picked up the Bible from his nightstand. “What would you like me to read?”
“I have it bookmarked,” Joshua pointed. “It's my favorite passage.”
Miriam opened the page to see a passage from First Corinthians. Clearing her throat, she began reading; “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Stopping, she looked at Joshua who had fallen asleep. She thought of the words she just read. He was a sweet and handsome man with a head of dark curly hair. He would make a fine husband, and he had been nothing but kind to her even though she turned him away. Why was she so afraid to love? Just because Jacob had broken her heart, didn’t mean that all men would. She couldn’t imagine Joshua doing or saying anything hurtful. Should she give him a chance? Maybe God was right— love is patient and kind. Should she let her guard down and let Joshua into her heart?
Sitting in the chair, Miriam continued to read the passage over and over again. As she watched him sleep, she realized she was smiling at him and thinking about what her life would be like should they marry. She felt a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach that she had never felt before. Was this what falling in love was like? She had never felt that with Jacob. She reached out and took his hand in hers and sat there for the longest time. Realizing how tired she was, she closed her eyes and before too long, sleep had overtaken her as she sat besides Joshua’s bed, holding his hand.
* * *
Chapter 11
Miriam walked across the field of giant sunflowers. Laughing, she looked up to the sky and watched as a flock of birds flew by. As she looked down, she realized she was holding a man’s hand, but she couldn’t see his face. They laughed again and both stopped and twirled around among the sunflowers.
“Miriam,” the stranger holding her hand called out, “Miriam, Miriam, Miriam.”
Miriam shook herself and opened her eyes, realizing she had been dreaming. She was still sitting on the chair beside Joshua's bed, holding his hand.
“Do you always laugh in your sleep?” he asked, chuckling.
“Ach, I fell asleep,” Miriam said, feeling somewhat embarrassed. She looked down at her hand and quickly pulled it away. “You look better. I think your fever has broken.”
“I actually feel much better, and I’m starving,” he said, sitting up slightly in bed. “Maybe I can go downstairs.”
“Nee, you are still weak. You have to remember you have been very ill the last few days.” Miriam looked at him sternly. “I’ll go and get your breakfast.”
Miriam smiled to herself as she went downstairs. She stopped at the bottom and took a deep breath. She could vaguely remember her dream, but she remembered a man with her. Was she dreaming about Joshua?
Blushing, she quickly prepared his breakfast along with a hot cup of coffee.
“Here you go. I think you can eat by yourself now. You don’t need me to feed you,”Miriam said, setting the tray down on his lap.
“This smells wonderful,” Joshua said, closing his eyes as he inhaled the steaming bowl of porridge.
“It’s only porridge, but it’s what you need right now to get your strength back. After breakfast, I’m going to go home and check on my family,” Miriam said, sitting down in the chair beside his bed.
“Do you mean you have been here ever since I fell sick?”
“Just about; I don’t know how long you were sick before I found you, but I don’t think it was too long. When I found you sick, I couldn’t leave you alone. I knew you needed help. It’s what Gott would have wanted me to do,” Miriam said quickly.
Joshua smiled. “And what would Miriam want you to do?”
Miriam blushed. “That isn’t the point. I did what was expected of me. You helped me in my time of need, and I only returned the favor.”
* * *
Miriam went home to find everything back to normal. She explained to her father how Joshua was finally getting over the sickness, and that she should be back home to stay most likely that day or at the latest, tomorrow.
John just smiled at his daughter. “You do what you need to do. Gott is guiding you, and you must follow His lead.”
Miriam wasn’t sure what her father meant by that. Getting back to Joshua, she found him sitting up in the chair reading his Bible.
“That’s a good sign,” Miriam said as she went and stripped the bed. “I think clean sheets are in order. Do you think you need me to stay the night again or can you manage on your own now?”
“I think I should be okay. I can’t thank you enough, Miriam, for everything you have done. I’m not sure where I would be if you hadn’t come to my rescue.”
Tucking in the last end of the sheets, she smiled at him. “Again, I only did what Gott would want me to do. There is still some soup in the icebox that you can eat. I’ll just tidy up the kitchen a bit and then I’ll be on my way home.”
Nodding, Joshua stood up and walked around the bedroom before going downstairs. Feeling stronger, he managed to get down the stairs and into the kitchen.
“I’m sorry to see you go,” he said as Miriam cleaned out the sink.
Miriam smiled. “It’s only because you relied on me so much. You’ll be back to normal in no time.”
“Was I ever normal?” Joshua said sadly. “Can I see you again? I mean, can we go for dinner one night or for a drive?”
Miriam looked at him, not knowing what to say. “Let’s get you completely better and stronger before we start talking about such things. I’ll check in with you tomorrow and see how you’re doing.”
Miriam quickly ran out the door to her buggy. Why did he have to say that? Didn’t he understand she had only helped him because it was what God wanted her to do? She just couldn’t fall in love with anyone; at least not now. Why was he so insistent?
* * *
The next day, she drove to Joshua’s house in the afternoon. She had made some chicken and dumplings for supper the night before and thought she would bring some leftovers to him.
Driving up, she found him sitting outside on the porch.
“Well, now, don't you look better,” she said, smiling as she climbe
d out of the buggy.
“Jah, I feel almost one hundred percent better,” he said, standing up and stretching.
“I brought you some chicken and dumplings from supper last night,” she said, walking into the kitchen.
Following her, he suddenly grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face him.
“Miriam, I love you. I can’t hide my feelings any longer. I have loved you from that first day I met you at the hospital. I think we are meant to be together,” he said, looking deeply into her eyes.
Shocked, Miriam pulled away from him. “I appreciate you expressing your feelings, Joshua, but… I don’t… love you. I can’t love you. You are a friend, but that is all.”
“I don’t believe you. What are you afraid of?” he asked, urgently.
“I’m not afraid of anything. It’s just that I don’t have the same feelings for you. I have to go,” she said, running past him and out the door.
Following her, he called out, “well then, if you don’t love me, why did you stay with me these last few days? If you don’t love me, why did you fall asleep holding my hand and why won’t you allow me into your heart, Miriam? Answer me!”
Instead, his words fell on deaf ears. Miriam quickly pulled the reigns and turned the buggy around. She didn’t want Joshua to see the tears falling down her cheeks. She didn’t want to face him or answer his questions. She just wanted to be left alone.
She pushed the horse as fast as it could go. By the time she reached the end of Joshua’s driveway, the tears were pouring down her face. She stopped the horse and sat quietly. Why, why, why, can’t I let love in my heart again? Is my daed right about not allowing Jacob to ruin my future? Is my future with Joshua? Does he have a right to know why I can’t love him? Her mind was in turmoil as she sat there afraid to move. What should she do? Joshua didn’t deserve to be treated like this.
Miriam wiped the tears from her cheeks. Joshua does have a right to know; she said to herself as she turned the buggy around.
Joshua was still standing where she had left him. Stopping the buggy, she jumped down and walked towards him.
“I only came back to tell you why, ” Miriam said. “Why I can’t be with you.”
“Miriam, you’ve been crying,” Joshua said, concerned. “Please tell me. I need to know.”
Miriam looked up at him. “It’s because… I’ve already had my heart broken in two. I’m not going to let it happen again.”
“But I would never break your heart, Miriam. You have to believe me. Never,” he cried. “Who hurt you so badly that you won’t let anyone into your heart?”
Breaking down, Miriam told him the story of Jacob and how he had left her. “I vowed that day I would never let anyone other than Gott into my heart.”
Moving closer to her, he lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “I will never hurt you. Please believe me. I think deep down inside you have feelings for me; I really do.”
Staring at him, she suddenly felt a rush of emotion so strong, it empowered her. Flinging her arms around his neck, she said, “I do love you, Joshua. I love you with all my heart.” Suddenly embarrassed, she withdrew her embrace. “But…”
“Then marry me, Miriam. Marry me and be my wife. Let’s start to court and we can make our plans. I don’t have a lot to offer you, but you have my undivided love and affection, and we can build a wonderful life for ourselves and fill our home with lots of kinner.”
She said nothing for a long moment; still struggling with her emotions. She truly loved him, but truly feared being hurt again. She thought about her father’s words to her, ‘Gott is guiding you, and you must follow His lead.’
Finally she looked up at him, more tears streaming down her face. In that moment, she realized she could no longer allow her fear to hold her from what she knew her heart truly wanted. She must trust her heart now and trust Gott’s leading. “Jah, Joshua. I will marry you, she said, smiling. “I’d truly be honored to be your wife.”
They hugged each other for several moments then Joshua lifted her chin to look at her. “Danke, Miriam. I promise I’ll never let you down.”
Miriam nodded her head. “I believe you, Joshua.” She smiled. “Well, I should get home to my family. I’ll come by tomorrow to see how you are.”
* * *
The next few months flew by. Everyone recuperated completely from the flu and life returned to normal. Miriam was busy sewing her wedding dress with the help of her sisters. Everyone, including Rose was happy that she was getting married.
“Miriam, I know you and we have not always agreed on things, but I am truly happy you have found someone to spend the rest of your life with,” Rose said to her one day they were sitting outside.
“Danke, Rose,” Miriam said, hugging her sister. “It will happen to you one day. I just know it.”
Rose shrugged. “I think sometimes I am better off alone.”
“I don’t know who hurt you, Rose and maybe one day you’ll tell me, but don’t give up on love,” Miriam said, smiling at Rose.
* * *
Finally, the week before the wedding, John finished cleaning out the large front room where the reception would be. All their furniture was stored in the barn to make room for the tables and chairs. Women had been dropping off food all week, and Miriam was amazed at how many families offered to help.
The evening before her wedding, Miriam prepared a wonderful meal for her family. She felt bittersweet, knowing that this was her last meal with them as a single woman.
When everyone had settled, John looked around at his daughters. “I think we should all hold hands and pray.”
Everyone reached out and closed their eyes. “Dear Gott, I thank You for this meal that has been prepared by Miriam. I pray You will grant her a long and fulfilling life and bless her and Joshua with lots of kinner to fill their house. I thank You for each of my wonderful dochtahs who always amaze me with their kindness. I pray that You will allow their mamm to look down tomorrow and watch her dochtah marry the man of her dreams. I thank You for sending all the wonderful neighbors who have contributed to Miriam’s wedding, and I thank You for Your love and guidance. Amen.
* * *
“Miriam, I think your mamm would want you to do this now. After all, it is your wedding day,” John said to his daughter.
Miriam adjusted her kapp. “You look beautiful, Miriam,” Abigail gushed.
“Quick, open the chest. I can’t wait to see what’s in it,” Rose called out coming into Miriam’s room and jumping onto the bed.
“I can’t wait either,” Katie said, looking at her sister eagerly.
John handed Miriam the key to the lock that he had been guarding for years. Going over to the chest, she unlocked it and opened the lid. Inside was a letter laying on top of a layer of tissue paper. Picking up the letter, she opened it and let out a gasp. It was a letter from her mother.
“Well, read it,” Rose said, impatiently.
Miriam looked up at her father who smiled and nodded his approval.
My Dear Miriam,
If you are reading this, it means it is your wedding day, and you are about to marry the man of your dreams. I wish I could have been there, but Gott had other plans for me. I made this for you so you will always have a part of me in your life. I hope you like it. You were my first born, and you made me so proud with everything you did. I wish you the best life ever and don’t ever forget that your mamm loves you and is always looking down at you.
Happy Wedding day my wonderful dochtah.
Pulling back the tissue paper, Miriam picked up the most beautiful quilt ever. She stared at the patches, then looked at her father confused. She unfolded the quilt and realized that several of the patches were from some of her mother's dresses and aprons.
“It’s beautiful,” she gasped.
“Your mamm wanted to give you something that you would remember her by so she cut up two of her dresses and her favorite aprons to make some of the patchwork, so she would always be near yo
u.
“Some of the other patches look familiar too,” Miriam said, looking at them a bit closer.
“They are from some of your baby blankets and this patch here is from your mamm’s favorite tablecloth that was given to us as a wedding present. She put a lot of thought and love into the quilt,” John said.
“It’s beautiful,” Rose, Katie, and Abigail all said at the same time.
Miriam looked up to the ceiling. “Danke, Mamm. I love this special quilt.”
“Alright, let’s go and get you married,” John said. “We’ll meet you downstairs.”
Miriam stood in her bedroom hugging the quilt to her chest. Mamm, I miss you so much, and I wish you were here. She brought the quilt up to her face and inhaled. She could almost smell the sweet scent of her mother.
Smiling, she lay the quilt on her bed, and took one last look around her room before heading for the door. In a few hours, she would be a married woman and a new adventure would begin.
Thank You, Dear Gott, for healing my heart. You are so faithful, and always to be trusted. I’m ready to start this new chapter in my life. Amen.
THE END
Book 2
(Rose’s Story)
Chapter 1
Rose Troyer glanced quickly in the store window and adjusted her kapp. Feeling nervous, she said a silent prayer to God that He would guide her. When she finished school, she tried to stay home and help with her sisters, but she knew that type of work wasn’t for her. She wanted to work outside the home and make money that would help her family; not bake pies and knead bread for the rest of her life. She did eventually want to get married, but right now she needed more meaning to her life. It took her a while, but she finally convinced her father to allow her to find a job.
“Your mamm wanted you girls to make good Amish wives, and you can’t learn how to do that working in a store,” her father had roared when she tried to speak to him about it.
“But Daed, I can help to bring money in. I don’t want to just be a housewife. I want more out of my life,” Rose argued.
The Troyer Sisters Series - Amish Romance: 4-Book Box Set Page 5