“Nee. I made a pot of beef stew last night so you can have that for lunch and there are apples and homemade cookies for a snack,” Rachel said, getting up and picking up the breakfast bowls.
“I admire you so much, Rachel,” Katie said, standing up to help.
“Me? Why?” Rachel looked at Katie surprised.
“You’ve done so well for yourself, despite everything that has happened to you. Losing your husband and being left with four kinner to look after…” Katie said. “I don’t know how you do it sometimes.”
“Lots of coffee and prayers to Gott,” Rachel smiled. “I better hurry or I’ll be late.”
Rachel kissed each of her children goodbye and warned them to behave for Katie.
Standing at the kitchen sink, Katie watched Rachel run to her buggy and get in.
“Alright, kinner, what shall we do today?” Katie asked, looking at the little faces sitting around the table.
“Book,” Sarah said, holding up a torn and tattered book in her little hands.
“Alright, let’s go into the living room and get comfortable, and Katie will read the book to you all,” Katie said, unfastening the youngest child, Mary, out of her highchair.
The children all squealed with delight. Having Katie read to them was one of their great pleasures.
After a morning of reading and playing games, Katie settled the children for their morning nap. Filling up the kettle for a cup of tea, she wondered if this would be what it would be like once she married and had her family. Katie dreamed often about she and Thomas owning a prosperous dairy farm, and how after Thomas would leave for work in the barn in the morning, she would read to her own children and bake delicious treats and they would have such a wonderful life following the path of Gott.
* * *
The day went by relatively fast. Not only did Katie watch the children but she always did some light housework for Rachel; as well as some laundry, and at times some baking. Katie didn’t mind. She looked at it as great practice for her, although she wouldn’t admit that to anyone.
Katie had just finished up taking some hot muffins out of the oven when Rachel came home.
“My goodness, Katie, what is that wonderful smell?” Rachel asked, sniffing the air.
“It’s a new muffin recipe I tried. I found a cookbook in your pantry and decided to make them. I hope you don’t mind,” Katie said.
“An old cookbook? Which one?” Rachel asked, curiously.
Katie held the book up and Rachel smiled. “Ach, my goodness. The Amish Wife’s Baker. I forgot about that one.” Rachel took the book and held it to her heart.
“Did you get it as a gift?” Katie asked, wondering why Rachel had such a reaction to the book.
“Jah, my husband bought it for me when we were first married. It was a joke between us.” Rachel smiled, looking at the cover of the book.
“Ach, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched it then,” Katie said, feeling like she had invaded Rachel’s privacy.
“Nee, nee, it’s a funny story actually. When we were first married the only thing I couldn’t do was bake,” Rachel said, pointing to the chair for Katie to sit down. “I could prepare wonderful roasts and stews but ask me to bake bread or make a cake, I was hopeless.”
Katie smiled and nodded. “Baking can be difficult even for someone who is good at it.”
“Jah; one day it was John’s birthday, and I decided I was going to bake him a cake. All I knew about making a cake was that there were flour, eggs and water and a few other things. I figured it would be simple,” Rachel said. “I mixed everything together that I remembered seeing my mamm do and put it in the oven. It looked beautiful when I took it out, and I was so pleased. I iced it and couldn’t wait for John to get home.”
Katie, who knew how to bake a cake, put her hands up to her mouth and giggled.
Rachel nodded her head. “And to make matters worse, I had invited his parents over for supper. When it came time to eat the cake, it was so hard and dry, no one could eat it. I spent the rest of the night crying because I wanted to be the perfect wife for him and I felt I had failed.”
“Rachel, you must have been so embarrassed.”
“Jah, I was. I thought for sure he would think I was a failure,” Rachel chuckled. “The next night he came home with a bouquet of flowers and this baking book. Did you read what he wrote inside the cover?”
“Nee, I didn’t,” Katie said, taking the book that Rachel handed to her. Opening the cover, Katie read the words that had been written inside.
To my Rachel,
You will never be a failure in my eyes.
You are perfect for me because I can’t bake either.
Love,
John.
Katie looked up at Rachel with tears in her eyes. “That is beautiful. You must miss him so much.”
“Jah, I do. But life goes on, and I’m sure he wanted this book to be put to good use, so feel free to try other recipes.”
Katie went home that night smiling as she remembered Rachel’s story. That was the type of love she wanted with Thomas. She wanted to be the best wife she could be, and to make Thomas so happy to be her husband.The only thing that was needed was for Thomas to ask her to court him, so they could begin making their plans.
* * *
Chapter 3
Katie rested her forehead on the cold window pane as the raindrops beat lightly against the glass. Thomas had been acting strange the last few days and she was wondering what was going on. She knew that he liked her, but she didn’t understand why he still looked to her as only a friend. She was at a loss as to what to do and her prayers to God seemed to be going unanswered. Katie wanted to come right out and ask him if he ever thought of marriage, but she knew that that was not the right thing to do. Thomas was picking her up to go to the community center again this evening; maybe she could drop some hints on the way.
After putting on a clean apron, she grabbed her kapp and headed down stairs to wait for him.
“Are you going out with Thomas again?” Abigail asked.
“Jah, we are meeting friends,” Katie answered.
“What’s going to happen to me?” Abigail asked. “Rose is getting married soon, and if you marry Thomas, I’ll be left all alone, and I don’t know how to take care of Daed or the house.”
Katie laughed and went over and hugged her sister, “Ach, Abigail, the things you worry about. No one is going to leave you alone here. Besides, Thomas hasn’t asked me to marry him yet, and I have no idea when that will be.”
“I think I heard his buggy,” Rose said, going over to peek out the window.
“I won’t be home late. I have to be at Rachel’s early tomorrow,” Katie said, hugging her sisters goodbye.
As she jumped into the buggy, Thomas said, “Hi, sorry I’m late, I had to help my Daed in the barn.”
“That’s okay. I was busy talking to my shveshtahs; I didn’t really notice,” Katie shrugged. “Is your Daed teaching you about dairy farming?”
Thomas sighed. “He tries, but I just don’t feel it in my heart.”
“What do you mean? You don’t want to follow in your daed’s footsteps?” Katie asked, looking at Thomas in surprise.
“I don’t know. I’ve prayed to Gott many times asking what my path is, but I’m not sure that farming is it.”
“But you don’t know that for sure. I mean, there is nothing wrong with farming. Don’t you ever think about your future and want to be successful?” Katie asked nervously.
Thomas thought for a moment then turned to Katie. “I have, but I just don’t think farming is for me. I think Gott has greater plans for me.”
“How do you know that?” Katie asked, suddenly worried that Thomas didn’t want marriage.
“I just do. I have a feeling,” Thomas said, looking a little annoyed.
“But don’t you want to get married and have kinner one day?”
“Of course I do; I just don’t know if I’m ready for all that y
et or if farming is really what I want to do,” Thomas replied.
“But Thomas, farming is in your blood. Your daed is a very successful dairy farmer, and so was his father,” Katie said. “Don’t you think it would be the path that Gott would want you to follow?”
“But who says we must follow the same path of our family?” Thomas said pulling up to the community center parking lot. “Hannah and Jacob are here already. There’s Jacob’s buggy.”
Katie tried the best she could to enjoy the evening, but Thomas’s words lingered in her mind. She smiled when Hannah and Jacob announced that they were getting married in the fall and she tried to be happy for them, but inside she wanted to cry. She had a feeling that all her dreams and hopes were never going to come true.
* * *
The next few weeks, Katie found talking to Thomas very frustrating. He refused to discuss anything about his future. She wanted to talk to her sisters about it, but they were both so busy and she didn’t want to bother them. The only one that would listen to her was Abigail, and she was too young to understand the ways of the heart.
One day, Katie was walking home from Rachel’s house when she heard a buggy come up behind her. Turning, she smiled when she saw Thomas.
“What a wonderful surprise, Thomas. Were you coming to pick me up?” Rachel asked.
“Jah, I need to speak to you,” Thomas said, nervously.
“Sure; what about?” Katie asked, hoping that Thomas had come to his senses and was going to ask her to court him.
“Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since we last spoke and you made me understand that it was time to start thinking about my future,” Thomas said, turning so he could face Katie. “We’ve known each other for many years, and I consider you my best friend.”
Katie felt her heart begin to quicken. This was is. Thomas was finally going to ask her. She just knew it.
“You made me realize that I need to do something that will make me happy and that I need to listen to my heart instead of trying to figure out what Gott wants me to do,” Thomas said, matter of factly.
“Well, Thomas you must do what you makes you happy,” Katie said, nervously adjusting her kapp.
“Exactly. That’s why I’ve decided I don’t want to be a farmer. I want to get into construction work and help build homes and buildings and learn everything I can in that trade. I’ve even spoken with a fellow who owns a construction company across town, and he said he would be more than happy to hire me and teach me.”
Katie stared blankly at Thomas. Her mouth felt dry, and she didn’t know if she could find her voice. Holding back her tears, she said, “But don’t you want to get married and have a family some day?”
“I’ll have plenty of time for that in the future. I’m still young, plus I don’t know if I’m ready to settle down now. I just feel that this is what I should do. I have a peace about it,” Thomas said.
“Are you going to continue living at home if you work across town?”
“Nee, the traveling would be too much. The man said he has a spare room at his place I can live in while I’m learning, so I’m afraid I won’t be seeing you as often, Katie.” Thomas looked curiously at her. “You look upset.”
Choking on her tears, Katie smiled faintly. “Nee, I’m not upset; just sad, Thomas. I had dreams, but they don’t matter anymore. I’m happy for you. I hope you have a wonderful future. Could you please take me home now? I suddenly don’t feel very well.”
“But Katie, it isn’t forever. I’m only going to be gone for a couple of months, at the most,” Thomas pleaded. “Please don’t be upset with me, but I need to do this. Maybe when I come back, I will have a whole new outlook on my future.”
“I understand that, Thomas; but I just thought I meant more to you than a friend,” Katie said, looking out the window.
“You are; I mean I think I feel like that about you,” Thomas sputtered. “I just don’t know right now. I feel so confused.”
Katie didn’t know what else to say to him and was relieved when he pulled into her yard.
“Well, danke for the ride, Thomas. I hope everything works out for you.” Katie jumped out of the buggy. Part of her wanted to beg him not to do this, but another part of her told her it was no use. His mind was made up.
“Danke, Katie. I’ll write you every chance I get, I promise,” Thomas called as Katie walked into the house.
Katie tiptoed into the house hoping that no one was up. The last thing she needed was for her sisters to know what happened. She thought that Thomas Becker would never break her heart. She felt so embarrassed that the same thing had happened to her, as to her sisters. She didn’t want anyone to know.
* * *
Chapter 4
“You haven’t gone out with Thomas in a week, Katie. Is everything alright?” John asked one night after supper.
“Jah, Daed. He’s just busy right now,” she answered, hating the fact that she was lying to her father.
“What is it, Katie? I can tell when something is bothering you. All my girls have the same look on their face when they are troubled,” John said, putting down the Bible he was reading.
Katie looked up at her father and jumped up and ran over to him. “Daed, I don’t think Thomas wants to marry me. He wants to work in construction and he’s taken a job across town so he can learn. He doesn’t want to be a farmer.”
John hugged his daughter and stroked her hair. “Katie, perhaps this is Gott’s plan for him. He could still one day ask you to marry him, even with his working in construction.”
“I don’t think so. He said he’ll be back, but I just have a feeling he won’t. I just know he will probably meet someone else and I’ll end up spending my life alone.” Katie began to weep.
“There is a reason this is happening, Katie. Gott is telling you something, and you must listen. Perhaps Thomas is not the one you are to marry,” John said, trying to comfort her. “Love is never easy at times. There can be many rocky roads and you just need to be strong to get over them. You must trust Gott with your life.”
Katie smiled weakly at her father and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to go to bed. Danke, Daed. I’ll say extra prayers tonight, and hopefully, Gott will make my path clearer.”
The next morning, Katie woke up still not feeling well. She was thankful it was Saturday, and she didn’t have to go to Rachel’s house. Trying to be happy in front of the children would be too difficult for her.
Coming down the stairs, she heard a knock at the door. Thinking perhaps it was Thomas coming back to tell her he couldn’t live without her and wanted to marry her, she ran down the rest of the stairs and flung open the door.
“Rachel, what brings you here?” Katie said, surprised but disappointed. Seeing the children with her, she asked, “Is everything alright?”
“I’m sorry to bother you, Katie, but I have a tremendous favor to ask of you.”
“Come into the kitchen. I have some fresh cookies that my shveshtah made yesterday,” Katie said, motioning the children into the kitchen.
“Rachel, what a wonderful surprise!” John stood from the table. “Please sit down.”
“Danke, John. I’m so sorry to bother you this morning, but I have a tremendous favor to ask of Katie,” Rachel said.
“Well, I have some work to do in the barn, so if you will excuse me, I’ll leave you girls to talk,” John said.
After settling the children, Rachel asked, “Do you remember me telling you about my mother who lives in Ohio?
Katie nodded her head. “Jah, you hadn’t seen her in a while.”
“Jah. Well, I received a letter from her, and she wants to know if she can come and live with me. She misses the children and me. The only problem is that I have to go to her house and help her sell it and pack up her belongings.”
“What is the favor?” Katie asked.
“Well, I was originally going to ask if you would come live at my place and take care of the kinner while I went. I then real
ized I would be gone for nearly a month, depending on how fast things can be settled, and I couldn’t bear to be away from them that long,” Rachel said. “So, I was wondering if you could come with us.”
Katie looked at Rachel, surprised. “You mean to Ohio? With you and the kinner?”
“Jah, you could take care of the children while I tended to my mother. There’s lots of room, it’s an enormous house,” Rachel said. “I’ll pay you, of course, as well as for your train fare so it wouldn’t cost you anything. I just thought I would be able to get things done faster if I had someone to watch the kinner and they love you so much.”
After thinking for a moment, Katie smiled at Rachel. “I’d love to.” She sighed. “I just had some very sad news, and perhaps this is what I need to get over it.”
“Ach, dear, sad news about your family?”
“Nee, just someone let me know that he didn’t feel the same way for me as I did for him,” Katie answered.
“Thomas?”
“Jah, I’ll tell you all about it on the train. When would we leave?” Katie asked, then she suddenly stopped. “I’ll need to ask my Daed first. With Rose getting married in a month, and me gone, there will be no one here to help Abigail. She just finished school, and although she will soon be fifteen, she’s still too young to manage this house by herself.”
“Of course. Well, talk to your daed and let me know. As soon as I know what your plans are I’ll book the train and send my mamm a letter, telling her we’re coming.” Rachel stood up and hugged Katie.
After Rachel had left, Katie went back to the kitchen to wash the dishes. This must be what Daed was talking about when he said Gott has another path for me. This might be part of it.
* * *
Katie had just put the finishing touches on the salad when she heard her father come in for lunch.
“Rose and Abigail are out with friends, Daed, so I made a salad and sandwiches for us,” Katie said, setting the table.
“Wonderful, you are a good dochtah. What did Rachel want?” John asked, sitting down at the table.
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