“Mom says he’s crazy about you, Ciara. My brother and I aren’t on good terms and quite frankly we’ve never been close. As the firstborn, I’ve seen it all and my brother has a reputation of being a…” He pauses looking for his words. “I believe you call them players in America.”
Thanks for reminding me, buddy. “It’s one way of putting it, Jakob,” I answer with as much detachment as humanly possible. “You know, we all have a past. I’m no angel myself, but when you meet the right one, everything changes. I’m sure you must understand. Marna seems quite taken by you and the two of you make for a lovely couple.” I deserve an Oscar for best actress because I manage to say it without vomiting all over this table.
“Marna. Sweet, adorable Marna,” he says, tapping his chin, looking pensive. “I’m not sure we share what you and my brother have—I mean, the two of you can barely keep your hands off each other,” he says, raising his eyebrows. “I’m only here as her pillar of strength in a time of need.” He leans in. “I think Marna might have alluded to the fact she’s a new mother.”
“Yes, I bumped into her in the bathroom last night and I was trying to help her with her dress when she shared the news with me and Martin’s girlfriend Eloise.”
“It’s so sad. Marna is alone trying to deal with her reality and she’s doing her best to raise her son, but…” He shakes his head instead of finishing his sentence and looks straight into my eyes. “It’s so complicated. You can’t imagine.”
No, I can’t, nor do I want to. “Jakob, I’m sure she’s dealing with a lot and I feel for her.”
“You have no idea. I’m glad to be able to help her since the father is an irresponsible fool who dumped her and ran away like a coward.”
So Jakob isn’t the father? Why would he take care of another man’s child? He has no feelings or sympathy. What’s in it for him? “This must all be so difficult for her to manage.”
“May Marna’s situation be a lesson to you, Ciara.”
What the hell is he talking about? “In what way? I don’t follow.”
“Well, I admire you for still wanting to be with my brother, but if he’s done it once he can do it again.”
He’s not making any sense. This conversation is so cryptic, it’s not even funny.
“You American women are so valiant and so determined to stand by your man no matter what.” He’s quoting a verse from an old country music song now? “Danish women would have kicked my brother to the curb without any remorse.”
“Jakob, I feel as though I’m missing parts of this conversation. Why would I kick Nikolaj to the curb? He’s done nothing wrong.”
“Oh, are you still in the dark?” Jakob’s evil smirk sends chills down my back. He’s caught me off guard and he’s loving every minute of it. “My brother didn’t have a little chat with you to update you on the latest developments in his personal life?”
“Evidently not since you seem to know something I don’t.” If I could erase the smug look on his face, I would.
“So you haven’t got a clue as to why your boyfriend is late for your lunch meeting?”
I thought Jakob didn’t know why I was here? So he was playing me.
“No, I don’t,” I say, regretting I’m allowing him to have the upper hand in this situation.
“I hope he didn’t lie and say he was stuck with his legal team?”
“Instead of tiptoeing around what you want to say to me, why not spit it out?” I answer defiantly. You don’t intimidate me, jackass.
“I was in the car with Marna last night and the poor girl was so distraught by her situation I pushed her to put an end to things and come clean.”
I’m fed up. I jump to my feet, frustrated by this dumbass conversation. “Jakob, I don’t have time for this. You’re going around in circles and it’s annoying the hell out of me,” I spit out, leaning against the heavy boardroom table. “I’m going to wait for Nikolaj in his car. I can’t handle you anymore.” I push my chair behind me and head for the glass door.
“I’m certain my brother must be quite distracted since last night. I was the one who pushed Marna to text him telling him they need to meet so she can reveal the real identity of her son’s father.”
His words stop me in my tracks with my hands clenching the handle of the door I’m about to walk out of.
“I’m sure my self-righteous brother must have mentioned he was involved with Marna, but did he tell you how when he ran away from Copenhagen he left her behind alone to deal with her pregnancy and the birth of their child?”
What the fuck did he say?
My blood runs cold. I slowly turn around to face the man who has just dropped a monumental bomb on me.
“Nikolaj is the baby’s father?”
I nearly choke on these words. My head is spinning so fast and I hold on to the handle a little tighter to avoid crumpling in front of Jakob.
“I’m not an obstetrician, but the numbers match. I bumped into Marna at an event after my brother had broken things off with her and one thing led to another and we became very close. In time she felt comfortable enough to confide this news to me, but she made me swear to never reveal anything to my brother because she didn’t want any charity from him.”
“You haven’t answered my question, Jakob.” I try to sound unaffected by his words.
“My brother hasn’t been as honest with you as you thought? Oh, dear, I’m very sorry you have to find out this way.” He looks so happy right now.
What an evil, soulless asshole. “You’re so full of bullshit. You’re not even able to answer my questions.”
“Marna got a DNA test done. I have the results here on my phone. In fact, your boyfriend must be looking at them right now as well, unless he’s already tried to worm out of his responsibilities as a father. To be honest, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if my baby brother denied it all.”
“I don’t believe you,” I say, raising my chin to show him he hasn’t broken me with his news.
“My God, you American women are so feisty. I admire your loyalty.” He laughs cruelly. “I can show you irrefutable proof if you’d like.” He’s waving his iPhone at me. I’m torn between my desire to see the proof with my own two eyes and the fear he has information that could destroy the most perfect relationship I’ve ever had in my life.
This could kill me.
“I’m sure it’s all a lie, Jakob. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to wait outside for Nikolaj to arrive.”
I surprise myself for being able to keep a steady voice considering my heart is pounding like a Chinese gong in my chest. I’m so afraid Jakob is right my knees are trembling like leaves at the thought Nikolaj could have kept something so monumental from me. Is this a sibling rivalry payback or does Nikolaj have feelings for Marna he’s been hiding from me?
Fuck, I’m so confused.
“I have a copy of the birth certificate of little Daniel von Henningsen.” Keep it together. Don’t let this creep see you sweat. “Marna texted me a copy because I’ve been footing her legal bill in preparation for her paternity lawsuit against your boyfriend. Poor thing, she can’t afford a good lawyer.” Please God, make him stop. “I have it on my phone if you’d like to see it. It says in black and white your boyfriend knocked up another woman and ran away to the other side of the planet to try to avoid his responsibilities.”
His words aren’t computing. None of this is making any sense whatsoever.
“Marna has tried to get in touch with my baby brother numerous times, but he’s been quite masterful at brushing her off. I decided to bring her as my date at my father’s party and the company function to force Nik to face reality.”
How can Nikolaj do this and hide it from me?
I bite my tongue, fighting back the tears, because I’d rather die than give Jakob the pleasure of seeing me cry. The look on this bastard’s face is so diabolical. “Jakob, I’m sure you have an ulterior motive for sharing this news with me, but I’m fairly certain you’re blowi
ng smoke up my ass, as we say in America,” I spit out.
I may be down, but I’m not out.
“Fine, I’ll call my brother and put him on speakerphone. He’s in a private room at the restaurant. Why don’t we ask him how his little early lunch with Marna is going? I’m sure he omitted to tell you he was meeting with the mother of his child.” Before I can protest, Jakob’s already speed-dialing a number.
Please God, Jakob cannot be right. He must have woven this web of lies to get back at Nikolaj in some way. Please don’t let Marna’s child be his, I pray silently, unable to move. My heart and feet are as heavy as lead and I desperately need to hear Nikolaj refute everything his idiot of a brother has said so far.
“Nik, how are you?”
I shudder when I hear my love’s voice.
“Fuck you, Jakob. I’m going to wring your neck for this. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I’m certain you’re behind this.”
“Brother, don’t be upset at me. I gather your little meeting with Marna has been quite an eye-opener. How does it feel to be a new parent? I believe congratulations are in order.” He lets out a demonic laugh. Dammit, he’s scaring me. “You can thank me later for taking care of the mother of your child and your newborn son.”
“Jakob, I’m warning you…”
“Oh, I’m sorry to cut you off, dear brother, but I forgot to mention your lovely Ciara is standing frozen like a statue in front of me. She doesn’t believe a word of what I’ve just shared with her so I thought I’d let her hear the panic in your voice. Bravo, you’re doing an excellent job,” Jakob adds with a sneer.
Nikolaj goes dead silent and my heart sinks.
“Ciara? Are you there? Honey, I can explain. Don’t listen to my brother.”
“It’s a pity you didn’t practice safe sex,” Jakob says.
“Fucking idiot. I always have.”
“Oh, dear, did the condom break? What a shame. I can’t start to imagine how devastated your lovely Ciara must feel right now.”
“You’re a piece of shit, Jakob.”
Oh my God, is this true? Is he the kid’s father? A torrent of tears builds up and I’m so choked up, I can’t answer. I’m still too much in shock to move.
“Ciara, I’m sure Marna and my brother have already started making plans for little Daniel’s future. As a liberated American woman, I’m sure you won’t have any issues with this new blended family situation.”
“Fuck you, Jakob. Leave her alone. Ciara, for the love of God, answer me if you’re there.”
I don’t even bother answering. I slam open the glass door and storm out of the boardroom, passing Lea who’s trying to catch my attention. I bypass the elevators and hurry down six flights of stairs to the lobby, trying to keep my panic under control. By the time I push open the doors to the first floor I’m crying so hard I can’t see in front of me.
How do I get out of here?
I look left and right, feeling trapped. I decide to run to the back of the building to avoid the chauffeur, who dropped me at the front not long ago. When I step outside, I’m greeted by an arctic cold that matches how I feel inside. I run to the middle of the street and hail a cab. Thank God getting a cab here isn’t as hellish as it is in New York.
I sink into the back seat and the driver turns around to ask me for my destination, but he stops jaw-dropped when he sees my face. I can imagine what I look like. “Are you okay, madam? Are you hurt?”
I shake my head, unable to answer, still in agony over Jakob’s revelation.
“Madam, where can I drop you? We can go to the hospital, if you need to.” The cab driver looks panicked and I finally speak to liberate myself from this misery.
“I need to get to the airport immediately,” I mumble between crying fits.
I can’t risk confronting Nikolaj by going back to his house to collect my stuff. I’ll figure out a way to get it later once I’ve recovered from this emotional blow.
Fuck, what am I talking about? Can I ever recover? Every time I love a man he breaks me.
BOOK 5—SINFUL DESIRES
Chapter Eleven
“Ciara, honey, you need to eat something. Please take a bite of food. You can’t do this to us. Please wake up, honey. We love you so much.”
Diego is sitting on the edge of the bed in his guest room and he’s looking at me with concerned eyes as my mother is shaking me to force me to wake up from my lethargic state.
“I can’t,” I say, turning my head to face the window overlooking the sea.
I feel so guilty for putting my mom and him through this, but since landing in the Cayman Islands four days ago, I’ve not been able to do much more than cry and sleep. I’m so heartbroken I can’t bring myself to even sit outside and enjoy the warm weather. I’ve isolated myself in this room and Diego and my mother have been taking care of me as if I were an invalid.
I guess Jakob has managed to cripple me emotionally—or should I blame Nikolaj’s lies and deceptions?
“Honey, your boyfriend has been texting me every hour on the hour to speak to you since you’ve landed.”
“He’s not my boyfriend, Diego. He’s the father of Marna’s son,” I answer, wiping tears from my eyes.
“Ciara, listen to your father,” my mother pleads.
“Mom, it’s over. Get used to it.” I have to stop crying over this guy. He’s not worth it. He’s moved on and I have to do the same.
“Oh, baby, you have to stop saying such terrible things.”
I turn my eyes away from the window and look up at my mother. Her eyes are clouded by worry. “How else should I refer to the man who’s played me for a fool?”
“I don’t think we have all the facts yet.” Diego is unusually phlegmatic about this. He’s been taking Nikolaj’s side since he picked me up at the airport.
“I came here for comfort, not for you to talk about someone I never want to see again for the rest of my life,” I lash out.
While my cab driver was rushing me to the airport, I knew I couldn’t go back to New York because Nikolaj would be at my door in a blink of an eye—not to mention he still has the keys to my place. I had to retreat to a place where he couldn’t find me.
Once I got to the airport in Copenhagen, I rushed to the British Airways counter and requested a ticket for the next flight to the Cayman Islands. The flight attendant hesitated because I had no baggage, but when she saw the pain on my face, she conceded and handed me my ticket with a pile of Kleenex tissues to wipe away my tears. Not even oversized sunglasses could hide my agony and sorrow.
Once I had paid a ridiculous amount of money for a last-minute ticket, I texted Diego and my mom to let them know I urgently needed to get out of this city. Seventeen hours and two stopovers later, I arrived in the Cayman Islands broken. When Diego opened the door to his tropical home, I ran into my mom’s arms and bawled my eyes out for hours before crawling into bed. I haven’t left this room ever since.
“You ran away without hearing him out.”
“Diego, I wasn’t going to stick around and allow him to lie to my face.”
“The man had a right to share his side of the story.”
“Are you defending him? Whose side are you on? I thought I was your flesh and blood?”
Diego exhales before speaking. “He loves you and he wants to be with you.”
My mother is nodding in agreement and the two of them look like they’ve been conspiring against me while I’ve been nursing my broken heart—plotting to push me back into the arms of the man who destroyed me.
Hell, no. “Am I supposed to forget he has a two-month-old child with another woman he hadn’t told me about?”
“You didn’t give him a chance to explain things, Ciara.”
“Mom, there’s nothing more to explain. I heard the guilt in his voice.”
“Ciara, it could have been the fact he was caught off guard by his brother and this other woman.”
I can’t believe Diego would say such a thing. He
wanted to kill Dylan for his actions, but he’s supporting Nikolaj? What the fuck?
“Jakob told me Marna sent a text to Nikolaj on the night of the gala. He had all night and the next morning to tell me about Marna’s text message,” I sob, regretting there isn’t an on and off switch for love. “Jakob wanted me to suffer and he succeeded. He delivered the worst blow possible for a woman. He’s no fool, he gambled on the fact I’d never accept this situation and he won.”
“Honey. I think there’s a lot of uncertainty around the paternity of this child,” Diego says carefully.
“Did Nikolaj feed you a convenient lie?”
“It’s my opinion as a physician.”
“Ciara, your father is trying to help. Don’t raise your voice at him.”
My mom is defending Diego and both of them are defending Nikolaj. Who the hell is on my side? “You’re not an obstetrician, you’re a sports doctor.”
“Indeed I am, but your Danish…” He stops as soon as he realizes what he was going to say. “Nikolaj has shared a lot of details with me about this scandal and a lot of it simply doesn’t add up.”
“Have you spoken to him?” I ask, shocked. “Mom, have you also been in touch with him?”
My mother doesn’t answer my question. She simply looks away, avoiding my stunned stare, letting Diego answer on her behalf.
“Remember, we exchanged numbers when he came to my apartment in Barcelona. Julia was so taken by him she also gave him her number. What can I say, your mother kept telling me she thought he was the perfect man for you and from what I know about you, I agreed with her. He’s been texting me non-stop, but certain things are easiest said over a phone conversation.”
“Ciara, your father is right. I believe this man loves you deeply. He’s been in touch with us because he was going out of his mind with worry. He called you and texted you and when you refused to respond, he flew to New York to try to find you.”
“I can’t believe you’d listen to him after everything he’s put me through.”
“At first I ignored his text messages and his phone calls, but after the second day of seeing you so numb with pain while I read his messages of love and desperation, I decided to call him and talk man to man.”
Sinful Desires Page 11