“You’re not denying it then?”
She looked back at him. “How do you know, Johnny?”
“Dave told me.”
“Dave? Jesus...”
“And don’t ask me how he knows because I haven’t a clue. He just does.”
“Christ, Johnny...”
“Top secret, is it?”
“Of course it’s a bloody secret! He’s in line to become the next British Prime Minister for Christ’s sake; he’s one of the most prominent businessmen in the country...”
“He’s married.”
She stared at him. “Since when did you suddenly start having morals? You’ve been sleeping with your best friend’s girl for years.”
“It’s not the same, Stevie, and you know that. We all knew the score, his wife has no idea.”
She lit up a cigarette of her own, taking a long drag, blowing smoke into the air. “That’s not my problem.”
He laughed and she looked at him again. “Ok, what’s the problem here, Johnny? Because it’s quite obvious you’ve got one.”
“Why, Stevie? Why get yourself into something dangerous with a guy like Daniel Madison? It’s crazy.”
“I like crazy.” She took another drag on her cigarette. “He’s different Johnny, and sometimes I need different.”
“Sometimes?”
She threw her half smoked cigarette onto the ground, grinding it into the concrete with her boot. “Sometimes I still need Mark. I can’t leave him alone, I can’t do that.”
“You might have to try.”
She looked at him. “Sorry?”
“Dave...” Johnny threw his head back, closing his eyes for a few seconds, pushing a hand through his hair. “...he could blow this whole thing apart for you, honey.”
“Why…why would he do that?” Stevie felt sick. No-one was supposed to know about her and Daniel. No-one. So what the hell was Dave Deacon doing running around with that information?
“He thinks you’re messing with Mark’s head.”
Stevie couldn’t help laughing at that. “It doesn’t exactly take much does it? So what’s new?”
“It’s affecting the band,” Johnny sighed, looking down at the ground. “In Dave’s opinion.” What was he supposed to say to her? But she spared him the trouble of saying anything as she jumped up, tightening the bandana round her head. “Where you going?”
“To speak to Dave.”
“Is that a good idea?”
“If he’s got anything to say to me he can say it to my face.”
Johnny stood up and walked over to her. “Stevie, hang on.”
She turned round. “What?”
“Is it serious? This thing with Daniel Madison – is he really worth it? Have you any idea of the shit this is going to throw up if it ever gets out?”
“It won’t get out.”
“How the hell do you know that? Dave’s found out, who’s to say there aren’t others out there who’ve already sussed what’s going on? Do you really know what you’re getting yourself into?”
“I can handle it, Johnny.”
“Can you?”
She leaned back against the wall, sighing heavily.
“Is he worth it, Stevie? Because if it really is just some affair, if that’s all it is you should end it, honey. You should end it now.”
“I can’t do that.” She looked down at the ground, kicking an empty can that had blown in front of her. “It isn’t just some affair, Johnny. And I can’t believe I’m saying this because this isn’t me, I don’t do this. I don’t.” Saying the words out loud was a little bit frightening because it had been a long time since Stevie had felt anything like what she was feeling for Daniel Madison. And she’d vowed she’d never let herself feel that way again, which is why she’d put up such resistance with Mark. But this was getting harder to deny. These feelings weren’t going away. “Maybe it was before, y’know. Maybe that’s all I ever really intended it to be, just an affair, but now...” She looked up at him. “...it isn’t just some affair. Not anymore.”
Johnny sighed, pushing a hand through his long dark hair. He felt almost powerless now. In the blink of an eye she’d changed and he’d never seen her like this before. “So, he’s worth it then? All the crap that could happen, all the shit you’re gonna get? He’s really worth it?”
She looked at him. “He’s worth every second, Johnny. Every fucking second.”
He leaned back against the wall next to her, staring straight ahead. “What you gonna do now then?”
“Tell Daniel what I’ve just told you. That’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna tell him exactly what I’ve just told you.”
***
Daniel couldn’t concentrate. He was beyond that now, and he’d had enough for one day. He’d been up since 5am and his head was spinning with the amount of meetings he’d been to and ‘phone calls he’d made. He wasn’t used to the distractions that had suddenly invaded his life, but he didn’t want them to go away either. Because they were all he could think about, she was all he could think about, this wild, loud, tattooed woman who’d crashed into his life and taken it over. That’s all he could think about. She was on his mind from the second he woke up to the second he fell asleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her, she was a constant fixture, a permanent reminder of how his world was changing. And of what he was going to have to do next. Because he couldn’t go on like this.
Amy’s voice shook him back to reality and he sat up straight in his chair, quickly pulling himself together. The working day wasn’t over yet, no matter how much he wanted it to be.
“Mr. Madison, Mr. Gordon’s here to see you.”
“Thank you, Amy. Send him straight through.”
Angus Gordon closed the door behind him and strode over to Daniel’s desk with more than a purposeful stride, leaning forward to look at him, his hands flat on the desk in front of him. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on, Daniel?”
Daniel looked at him. He could pretend he didn’t have a clue what he was talking about but what would be the point in that? He’d known for some time that he was failing to pull the wool over Angus’s eyes. It had only been a matter time before this happened.
Daniel got up and walked over to the window, ignoring Angus for a second, looking outside at a city getting on with life while his own was slowly being turned upside down.
“Daniel?”
He waited a few seconds, because when he turned round he knew he was going to tell Angus the truth and the idea of it all coming out in the open made him both nervous and excited. But it had to be done. So when he finally faced Angus he had a look of resignation about him, but there was also a weird feeling of the relief to come.
“Something’s been going on for a while, hasn’t it?” Angus asked, standing up straight and folding his arms as he looked at Daniel. “Is it you and Samantha? Has something happened?”
Daniel pushed a hand through his hair. “You could say that.”
“Everyone’s marriage goes through bad times, old chap. Especially with the stress you’ve been under, I’m sure Samantha understands that...”
“I’m having an affair.”
Angus looked at him. He didn’t know what he’d expected to hear but it hadn’t been that. Not from Daniel. “An…affair? Jesus…”
“I can’t stop thinking about her, Angus. I can’t get her out of my head. She’s just the most…the most incredible woman, and she is so far away from anything that Samantha is and…and I need to be with her.”
Angus still couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He’d never expected anything like this from Daniel, not Daniel. The man with the squeaky-clean morals and the perfect marriage, something which had made him the envy of many a close colleague.
“You can’t be serious, Daniel. Please, tell me you’re going to do the right thing and end this now. Have you any idea what could happen if this gets out? We’ve got a General Election just months away...”
“I’m well
aware of that, Angus.”
“Then pull yourself together and deal with it.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“End it, Daniel. Now. I don’t know what could have possessed you to get involved in something so foolish at a time like this…” Angus looked at him. “…who is she?”
“You don’t need to know that.”
“I need to know everything so I know what I’m dealing with here. What the hell has got into you? At a time like this you start a bloody affair?”
“She makes me feel different, Angus. She makes me feel alive. She makes me feel like I can do anything.”
“Who is she?”
Daniel looked down at the ground for a second. “She’s a roadie.”
“Jesus Christ, Daniel…”
“With Black Rock Diamond – they’re a band.”
“Yes, I’m all too aware who they are. What I don’t understand is...” Recognition suddenly dawned on Angus. “That time you wanted me to cover for you. When you wanted me to tell Samantha you were staying over in London for a meeting...you were going to see her, weren’t you?”
Daniel nodded. “I saw her for the first time at George Marshall’s daughter’s party. The band were playing a private concert for Audra and she was there, setting up the stage - I couldn’t take my eyes off her, Angus. She was the most striking woman I’d ever seen and I...I just had to see her again, I had to. I don’t know why, I can’t explain, I just…when I heard they were playing five nights at Wembley I had to take a chance and find her, talk to her. I don’t even know what made me feel that way, I don’t know what happened, I really don’t but, she just took over. From the second I laid eyes on her she took me over.”
Angus went over to the sideboard in the corner of the office and poured himself a whisky, sitting down on the edge of a large black leather sofa. “How long has it been going on?”
Daniel leaned back against the window-sill. “A few months. She’s been away with the band on tour and it…it started just before she left. There was nothing I could do about it, Angus.”
“Oh, don’t talk rubbish, Daniel; there was everything you could have done to prevent this from happening.” Angus sat forward. “Have you any idea the trouble this could cause? A female roadie? You’re the Leader of the Opposition for Christ’s sake, possibly our next Prime Minister, and you’re having an affair with a female roadie, of all things?”
“What bloody difference does it make what she does, Angus? That has nothing to do with anything.”
Angus stood up, finishing his drink and putting the empty glass down on the sideboard. “It has everything to do with it, Daniel. You are where you are because you have no baggage, no skeletons in the closet, nothing that anyone can dig up on you and that is why people trust you. This could blow up in your face and change everything, do you realise that?”
“Of course I do! I’m not stupid.”
“I’m beginning to wonder.” Angus poured himself another drink. “I trust you’re going to finish whatever it is you’re doing with this woman.” He turned round to look at Daniel. “Aren’t you?”
Daniel turned back to look out of the window, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Daniel? Look at me. You are going to finish this, aren’t you?”
“I can’t, Angus.” Daniel’s voice was quiet. Talking about it, saying things he’d never said out loud before to anyone was suddenly making it all clear in his head for the first time since this had all began. He turned round to face Angus again. “I can’t finish it because… I think I’m in love with her.”
“Daniel...”
“I’m in love with her, Angus. I didn’t set out for this to happen, I didn’t intentionally want my life turned upside down but it’s happened and I can’t pretend I’m not feeling these things. I can’t do that. Not anymore. She’s everything that is wrong for me, everything I should avoid but I can’t walk away. Not now. I’m too far down the road for that.”
Angus sat down again, sighing heavily. “Is she really worth everything that’s going to happen when this gets out? Because it will get out. If you’re seriously telling me you’re in love with another woman then this will get out.”
Daniel looked out of the window again. “Isn’t it your job to make sure it doesn’t?” Angus said nothing, just watched Daniel as he continued to stare out of the window. “But if you really want to know, yes. She’s worth everything, Angus. She’s worth it all.”
Angus sighed again, sitting back in the sofa. “Jesus, Daniel. What about Samantha? Are you willing to throw away all those years of marriage for some woman you’ve only known for five minutes?”
“I’ve got no choice.”
Angus sat forward, finishing his drink in one mouthful. “You have every choice, man. You walk away now, before it goes too far.”
Daniel turned round. “It’s already gone too far, don’t you see? I need her; I need to be with her...”
“You need to think about your career, your marriage, what it is you’re putting on the line here, that’s what you need to do. Come on, start acting like the Daniel Madison I know.”
Daniel gave a small laugh, looking out across the river. “He’s gone, Angus. That Daniel Madison is no more.”
Angus knew he was fighting a losing battle here. Daniel had quite obviously made up his mind. And now his job had just got a hell of a lot harder.
“So, what are you going to do? What are you going to tell Samantha?”
Samantha. His beautiful wife, but he couldn’t carry on living this lie. It wasn’t fair on her, or him. She didn’t deserve it, he knew that, but sometimes you couldn’t control what life threw at you. What she did deserve, however, was the truth. He owed her that much.
He turned round, facing Angus as he spoke. “I’m going to tell her it’s over. The marriage, it’s over.”
And as he turned to look back outside again he couldn’t help smiling. Somehow finally saying it out loud had made it all final, the decision had been made. Daniel Madison was moving forward into unchartered territory. And he was as excited – and scared - as hell.
***
Samantha had that uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Things were changing, her life was shifting in a direction she didn’t want it to go, and the speed with which it was happening was heartbreaking, but she had no control over it.
The signs were there, everything was staring her right in the face. Daniel was staying over in London more than he needed to, his excuses becoming weaker each time he called her to say he wouldn’t be home, and when he did decide to come back to Berkshire he’d spend most of the time shut away in his office. He didn’t talk to her unless he was asking her to do something and he always came to bed after she’d fallen asleep. Did he want to be alone so he could talk to her? Was he secretly calling this woman who was taking her husband farther and farther away from her?
She spent every night lying awake, wondering who this woman was, what she looked like, how she spoke. She wondered what they did together, how they spent their time because Daniel was being extremely clever at keeping it all a secret. Had he made love to this woman? Had they slept together? Samantha didn’t want to think those things because it hurt too much but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stop torturing herself. She couldn’t stop the fear that this perfect, idyllic life she loved so much was about to be pulled from under her feet. But she knew in her own heart what it was she had to do. She had to confront him, she had to, there was no other way. She couldn’t live with this hanging over her, not anymore. The days of pushing it to the back of her mind and pretending it wasn’t happening were over. She had to talk to Daniel. She had to ask the question she never thought she’d ever have to ask. And live with whatever answer he gave her.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Stevie looked around Daniel’s living room. His flat was so different to hers. It was full of expensive furniture, books and ornaments whereas hers was so much more lived-in, with guitars propped up aga
inst the fireplace and magazines and cushions strewn all over the tables and floors. His walls were painted in muted tones of brown and cream, hers were splashed with bright, vivid colours, pictures of her with various rock bands and crew filling the spaces, giving the whole place a warm and welcoming feel. She loved her flat. She didn’t altogether feel comfortable in his. They were so different in so many ways it was hard to believe they could ever have come together at all, but they had. And now everything had changed in Stevie’s world, and it was all down to Daniel Madison.
“Are you ok?”
She turned round and looked at him, standing there in the doorway, his tie loose around his neck, his hands in his pockets. He was home. He looked tired, but that probably came with the job.
“I’m fine, but you look done in. Long day was it?”
“They always are.”
She pulled off her t-shirt and stepped out of her denim shorts, leaning back against the wall in just black underwear and biker boots. Daniel was fast getting used to the way she did things now, but she still never failed to make him feel as though he was being thrown head-first into some kind of extreme fantasy. She took escapism to a whole different level.
“Come on then, Mr. Party Leader. Come and say hello properly.”
He walked over to her, his hands still in his pockets.
“You can touch y’know. You’re allowed now.”
He gently placed a hand on her hip as he leaned towards her, kissing her slowly.
“Yeah. That’s better,” she smiled, stroking his face as she looked into his beautiful green eyes. Quite when she’d fallen for this man she couldn’t remember, she didn’t know. But she knew she’d fallen for him now. Big time.
“Stevie, we need to talk.”
“Oh God, I’ve been talking all day, Daniel. Can’t we just have sex?”
“Seriously, sweetheart, we really need to talk. Even though you’re standing there, looking like some Swedish dream, we need to talk.”
See You at the Show Page 15