“What’s the matter with you?” she asked, still staring at him.
“Sorry?” He quickly tried to pull himself together. Did she have any idea what she did to him?
“You’ve gone all weird on me. You alright?”
He sat down beside her, taking the bowl of popcorn away from her and putting it down on the table, pulling her legs out and over his lap, stroking her ankle as he spoke. He just wanted to touch her. He didn’t want to have to spoil these moments with unwanted reality but this wasn’t some dream he was living here. This was real-life. And it was complicated.
“If I win on Thursday, Stevie, my life is going to change beyond belief and I need to know...I need to know if you really want yours to do the same.”
She looked at him. He looked tired, stressed. Did she really understand just what he was having to go through here? Did she honestly have any idea?
She pulled her legs away from him and hugged her knees. “Do you regret this, Daniel? How complicated it’s all become? Do you regret me?”
“You? No, Stevie, Jesus, no! I don’t regret you.”
She got up but he was right behind her, stopping her from walking away by grabbing onto her waist, pulling her against him. “I love you, Ms. Stone, have you got that? I love you. And if you want me to give all of this up then I’d do it in a heartbeat for you. I would do it in a bloody heartbeat.”
And he meant it. They were words that had just come out of nowhere but he realised that he meant it. He wanted this, this election win, of course he did. Had he not waited all his life to get what he was almost certain to receive on Thursday? But he wanted her more.
“I’d never ask you to give this up, Daniel.”
“But you wish it wasn’t quite like this, am I right?”
She held onto the collar of his shirt as he gently rubbed the small of her back. “I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to all this cloak and dagger crap, Daniel. Of course I wish it was different but, it isn’t. And I can’t walk away from you.”
“Then I’m glad.” He smiled at her and she stared up at him.
She loved this man, and she knew it was love because it was making her feel vulnerable and weak and that wasn’t her. It hadn’t been her for such a long time and it scared her. She did stupid things when she was in love. She lost control. But maybe now was the time to stop playing around and admit these feelings were real because this wasn’t some stupid on/off relationship she could just throw aside when she felt like it. That was Mark Cassidy territory. This was different and she knew that. It was different. “I can’t walk away from the man I’ve just fallen in love with,” she whispered, reaching up to stroke his cheek.
“You really love me?” he asked, his fingers wrapping tightly around hers.
“I really love you, Daniel Madison. You’ve got this rock ‘n’ roll biker chick well and truly snared so, yeah, I love you. And now I’ve said it I’m fucking terrified.”
He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. He wished it was different too, he wished the world he lived in was more tolerant of what was happening to him, of who he’d fallen in love with, but it wasn’t. And somehow this incredible woman he couldn’t live without was going to have to fit into this new life of his and how that played out nobody could predict. He just knew he was nothing without her now. And everyone else was just going to have to get used to that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Johnny stood at the back of the studio, his guitar slung over one shoulder, watching his friend as he went about everything on what could only be described as auto-pilot. He’d never seen Mark this affected, this messed up. He was turning up at the studio late, drinking more, sleeping less, he looked a state most of the time and there was nothing Johnny could do. There never really had been because the only person who’d ever been able to keep Mark Cassidy in check was Stevie. And she wasn’t always around anymore.
Her secret relationship with Daniel Madison meant she’d all but cut every tie she’d had with the band, although she did pop into the studio now and again, and that had been a little more frequently than usual of late due to her new boyfriend’s circumstances, which were leaving her at more than a loose end. But whether that had been a good thing or not for Mark Johnny still didn’t know. He could cope with seeing her, he’d never really stood a chance anyway, but Mark, well, he didn’t seem to be coping at all.
Johnny took off his guitar and stood it up against the wall, going over to Mark.
“What’s up with you, man? You can’t carry on like this; it isn’t doing you any good. Have you seen the state of you? You look like crap.”
“It’ll suit the way I feel then.”
“This isn’t you, Mark. You have to deal with it. She’s gone, ok? She’s with him now and you have to accept that.”
Mark looked at Johnny. “Do I? I have to accept that she’s with someone who won’t even admit to the outside world that he’s supposedly in love with her? He’s keeping her hidden away like some sordid secret, Jesus, what the fuck is she doing letting that happen, Johnny? That isn’t Stevie. What the fuck is he doing to her? I should blow it all wide open; tell the world what he’s playing at...”
“And that’d help would it? Ruining his career, hurting Stevie...that’d help?”
Mark pushed a hand through his dark hair, sitting back and sighing heavily. “Fuck off, Johnny. You don’t know how the hell I’m feeling so quit with the lectures.”
He was too full of self-pity for Johnny. Too full of his own selfish reasons for feeling like he was. He needed to snap out of it, get a grip.
“Do you think you were the only one who loved her, Mark? Huh? Do you think you were the only one who cared about her? Jesus, you treated her like shit half the time, you never once showed her how you really felt until it was too fucking late.”
“It was what she wanted.”
“Was it? Do you honestly believe that? Looking at where she is now, with this Madison guy?”
Mark stood up, kicking over the chair he was sitting on. “Shut up, Johnny, ok? Just shut the fuck up. I don’t want to talk about him; he doesn’t exist in my mind, and she’ll get tired of that whole set-up, eventually. I know she will. She doesn’t do being locked away, she doesn’t do that. She’ll get tired of him and she’ll come back to me, you’ll see.”
“You’re fucking kidding yourself, Mark. I’ve talked to her, I’ve spoken to her, I can see it in her eyes. She’s changed. She’s fucking crazy about him, haven’t you looked at her when she’s here?”
“I said, shut the fuck up, Johnny!”
Mark grabbed him, pushing him hard against the wall but Johnny just laughed, pushing him back twice as hard as Mark lunged for him again, hitting out at Johnny who gave back as good as he was getting, until Dave ran between the two of them, separating them.
“Jesus Christ, what the fuck is with you two?”
“He started it,” Mark said, wiping his cut mouth with the back of his hand.
Dave looked at him. “Are we suddenly back in playschool? You’re bloody grown-ups, so act like them.”
Mark lashed out at Johnny again, who retaliated just as quickly but Dave grabbed Mark’s wrist, pushing him backwards, away from Johnny.
“I’m not even going to ask what this was about because I can guess, but it stops, now, ok? Grow up, the pair of you.” He looked at Mark. “And you - learn to live with the decision she made. Move on, alright?”
He walked away from them, going outside to grab some fresh air as Stevie pulled up at the back door on her bike.
“I thought we had a deal,” he said, leaning back against the wall.
She took her helmet off and shook out her hair. “And what deal would that be, Dave?”
“You don’t hang around here anymore. You give him space to breathe; you don’t ignite any more tension than there already is in there. You’re with our soon-to-be-Prime Minister now. I’m keeping my mouth shut, I’m keeping your dirty little secret just that – a secr
et – but you’ve got to help me out here, sweetheart. You coming round here, it isn’t helping.”
“I don’t roadie with this band anymore, Dave, that was the deal. But I’m also a freelance sound engineer and this is a job. Not my fault I’ve been sent here.”
“And I thought you were a kept woman now. Is the new soon-to-be PM not giving you enough?”
“Oh, he’s giving me more than enough, Dave. He’s giving me everything I need. But none of it’s got anything to do with money. I fuck him, I don’t live off him.”
“Nice mouth.”
“And you should see what it can do to your future Prime Minister.”
Dave looked at her as she started walking away. Still as beautiful. Still as dangerous. Still hanging around when he didn’t need her to be. “You should know they’ve been at it again.”
She stopped and turned round. “And that’s my problem?”
Dave shrugged. “I never said that.” He lit his cigarette and took a drag. “I just thought you should know.”
She didn’t say anything, leaving him outside and walking into the studio.
Jack was tuning his guitar, looking up as she walked in. “Hey, here she is. The woman who can cause trouble without even being in the same postcode.”
“Piss off, Jack.”
“Nice to see you too.”
She gave him the finger and walked over to Mark. “What’s the matter with you, for Christ’s sake?”
“What? What the fuck have I done?”
“And you’re just as bad,” she said, turning to Johnny, who’d walked back into the room. “The pair of you need to grow up.” She looked at Mark again. “You look a bloody state. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“You really want to know?” He looked her right in the eyes and she stared right back.
“I really want to know.”
Johnny grabbed her hand, pulling her away. Another row wasn’t going to solve anything and starting Mark off again was only going to aggravate everyone.
“What the fuck are you doing? And why’s he look like crap? Is he getting any sleep?”
“You sound like you still care about him.”
“Of course I still care about him. What am I? Some heartless cow who stops giving a damn just because I’m not with him anymore?” She sat down, crossing her legs underneath her. “What’s going on, Johnny?”
“Forget it. Just Mark being a jerk.”
“Nothing new there then.”
“What you doing here anyway? I thought you’d have wanted to be with the boyfriend, seeing as this election’s happening tomorrow.”
She shrugged, examining her finger nails. “He’s kind of busy right now.” She sat back and looked at Johnny. “I’m scared, J.”
“Of what?”
“Of everything.”
“I thought Stevie Stone didn’t do scared.”
“I didn’t do falling in love either but that got me eventually.” She sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest. “Why did he have to be who he is?”
“You can’t change that, Stevie. You just have to know if it’s the right thing you’re doing. Are you happy?”
She looked at him again. “Am I happy being hidden away? Am I happy having to be escorted to and from his flat like some shameful secret? No. I’m not. Am I happy when he’s with me? Am I happy when he’s there, and we’re together, yeah, I’m ecstatic. But that’s not real, is it? If he becomes Prime Minister even I know I may not be required any more. He’ll have other things to think about, people telling him left, right and centre what he’s got to do and getting rid of me might be one of them.”
“Has he said that?”
She threw her head back, picking at the frayed leather of her wrist cuff. “No.”
“Then what you worrying for?”
“I didn’t say I was worried.” She got up, running a hand through her hair. “I’d better get to work.” She leaned over and kissed him quickly. “Look after Cassidy, ok?”
“Stevie?
“What?”
“Just make sure it’s what you really want, ok? It isn’t just Daniel you’re getting, you have to remember that. You’re gonna have to fit into his world and you need to be sure you can do that.”
“I can do it,” she said, with more conviction than she really felt. Because she really didn’t know if she could. But she was going to try. She was going to try hard. Because losing Daniel Madison wasn’t an option.
***
“Can I have a word, Daniel?” Angus asked. “In my office.”
“Yes. Of course you can.”
“Close the door.” Angus walked over to his desk, opening the top drawer.
“Is something wrong?” Daniel asked. “Something I should know about?”
“There’s nothing wrong as such, no. Certainly nothing wrong as far as tomorrow is concerned. All we have to do is make sure everything stays just as it is.”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
Angus threw the magazine down in front of Daniel, open at the pages of his naked new girlfriend. Daniel picked it up, looking at the photographs of Stevie. Tattooed and beautiful, and a few years younger than she was now, he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“Where did you get this?” he asked, still looking at the magazine.
“It’s not like it’s ever been a secret, Daniel. These have been around for years. It’s all out there; she posed for them quite openly. It was quite easy to get my hands on them.”
“I don’t see what this has got to do with anything.” Daniel put the magazine down on the desk.
Angus leaned forward, looking straight at him. “You still have time, Daniel. You still have time to forget this ridiculous fantasy and start thinking with your head, old chap, come on. She can’t be a Prime Minister’s partner, look at her!”
Daniel leaned forward too, looking Angus straight in the eyes. “I told you never to talk about her like that again. She isn’t some kind of freak, she’s…she’s the woman I love.”
“Come on, Daniel...”
“No!” He stepped back, picking up the magazine again. “She isn’t just some fantasy on a page of a magazine, Angus; she isn’t just some girl I’ve got the hots for because I’m in the middle of some mid-life crisis, like you seem to think. She’s real, and believe me, what you see is what you get.” He held the magazine up in front of Angus. “This – this is her, this is what I get, Angus, what I get to look at, what I get to touch, and if I’m going to be pulled apart because of this, because she’s this beautiful...”
“Samantha was beautiful. She is an incredible woman - elegant, perfect...”
“She isn’t Stevie.”
“She is still your wife.”
“Don’t push me, Angus. I’ve told you where I stand. Stevie is with me and we are both doing our best to keep everything secret but that won’t last forever. She is not going to stay hidden away, I won’t allow it, do you hear me?”
“How much do you want this job, Daniel?”
“You know how much.”
“More than her?”
Daniel laughed, folding up the magazine and putting it in his jacket pocket, walking away from Angus’s desk and over to the window.
“Do you really know her, Daniel?”
“Does she really know me?”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Daniel turned round. “Where’s this going, Angus? The polling stations open in less than fifteen hours, I’ve got enough to think about. I’m doing what we agreed, for the good of the party because I want us in Government just as much as you do, so just leave Stevie out of this, ok? And let me be with her in the only way I can be right now. Anything else I can deal with later.”
“I’m just looking out for you, Daniel. I care about you, as a friend.”
Daniel turned back to face the window, checking his watch. He wanted to see her tonight; he had to see her tonight, he wanted one last night with her before all the potential madness began. He had so
much going on in his head right now and all he wanted to do was escape that for a few hours and be with her, let her take him to that place she always took him to. A place where nobody else could touch them.
Feeling around in his jacket pocket for his ‘phone he ignored Angus and called Stevie. She answered on the second ring.
“Hey, baby.”
“Are you busy?” he asked, turning his back on Angus.
“Nope. All quiet this end.”
“I need you, Stevie.”
“You’re getting quite demanding, aren’t you, Mr. Madison?”
“It’s the night before crazy day, sweetheart, and I’m stressed to hell here.”
“Sounds like you need some down and dirty Stevie Stone magic. So, how do you fancy something that’ll get rid of every tiny bit of stress you’ve got? Something that’ll make you forget all about this election shit for a few hours. How does that sound?”
“That sounds perfect.”
“Do you want me naked when you get there?”
“I just want you, beautiful.” Daniel pushed a hand through his hair, sighing heavily. “I just want you.”
“Hey, are you alright? You sound tired.”
“I’m fine, really. But yeah, I’m tired.” He turned round, leaning back against the window, looking straight at Angus. “I just need to see you. I need to be with you.”
“Then you got me, baby. I take it the babysitters’ll be round soon then?”
He couldn’t help smiling at the way she described the security men who made sure she stayed Daniel Madison’s hidden secret. It was part of why he loved her, her ability to just get through any situation in her own inimitable way. He only hoped she had the ability to get through what could be happening next.
“I’ll give them a call, yes. And I’ll be home soon, ok? I’ll be home very soon.”
He ended the call and slipped the ‘phone back into his pocket.
“Was that for my benefit?” Angus asked, sitting down on the edge of his desk, folding his arms.
Daniel didn’t answer his question. “We see what happens tomorrow. We give everything enough time to settle down, but then I’m going public.”
See You at the Show Page 19