How had it been possible to feel so much in so few seconds?
She’d thought it would be fine, kissing Xavier for the camera with everyone looking on, but she’d been shocked by how her body had responded to him. Her skin had flushed all over as if the sun had concentrated all its power on her in those moments and her heart had done a triple flip before sinking to somewhere in the region of her stomach.
It had been wonderful and terrible all at the same time.
She wished she hadn’t liked it quite so much because she now had a year to think about how wonderful Xavier’s mouth felt on hers without being allowed to experience it again. He’d made it very clear this relationship wasn’t ever going to be anything more than as friends.
Friends. But were they really? Could they be?
‘I’ll go and get your bags from the cloakroom,’ Xavier said brusquely.
All she could do was nod in agreement, then watch him stride back into the building where she’d stashed the two cases she’d packed so carefully the day before. They represented the sum total of her worldly goods, apart from a few items of clothing she’d given to Domino and a small box of mementoes from her childhood which she’d left back at the flat because she’d not wanted to lug them over to his house.
Taking a moment to compose herself while Xavier wasn’t around, she took a breath and pushed back her shoulders, uncomfortably aware that her legs were still wobbling like mad after she’d put herself through the most nerve-racking half-hour of her life—first the actual marriage ceremony, during which she’d felt as though she were looking down on herself from above, then the whole surreal exchange when Xavier’s friend Hugo had appeared out of nowhere and she’d had to scrabble for the correct way to act in front of him.
In the heat of the moment she’d just gone for it and introduced herself as Solitaire McQueen without considering that this might not be something Xavier would approve of, but she’d realised from the way he’d stiffened, then scowled at her, that it had been a mistake. But then, how was she supposed to have known how he wanted her to act in front of his acquaintances? They’d been so busy sorting out the legal side of things they hadn’t got round to discussing the day-to-day business of being married yet. It had all been such a whirl.
She’d tried hard not to take offence at his obvious reluctance to introduce her to his friend, but it still rankled. Obviously Xavier wouldn’t want the marriage of convenience part to be public knowledge, she understood that—he was clearly a private and proud man and if people found out the amounts of money he’d promised to pay her to go through with it neither of them would come out looking particularly good—but surely he wasn’t planning on not telling his friends that he was married to her.
Judging by Hugo’s reaction it sounded as though Xavier had kept the marriage a secret from all of his friends too, apart from Russell, of course, who had written up the legal documents for them to sign and so was clearly a necessary confidant.
She turned to look at Russell now, who was standing quietly beside her, and wondered what he thought about the whole strange undertaking.
He must have felt her gaze on him because he turned to look at her and asked, ‘How well do you know Xavier?’ as if he’d been wondering the same things that she had. From his expression she suspected he was actually a bit concerned about what his friend had just done.
‘Uh, hardly at all,’ she said with a pained grimace. ‘We’ve not spent a lot of time together because we’ve been too busy sorting out our personal situations before the ceremony. It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind to be honest.’
Russell nodded thoughtfully, then gave her an encouraging smile. ‘Listen, I know he comes across as a bit distant sometimes, but he’s a good guy. He’s just been through a lot during his life, that’s all, and it’s made him a bit hard to reach. Emotionally, I mean.’
‘Really? What happened?’ Soli asked, intrigued by what Russell might have to tell her. If Xavier was going to keep her at a distance, talking to his friends would probably be the only way to really get to know more about him.
Russell looked uncomfortable. ‘I should probably let him tell you all that himself. It’s not really my place.’ He rocked back onto his heels and crossed his arms. ‘You’ve got a year to get him to lower his barriers, after all,’ he said, his smile a little strained now. ‘I’ll just say this—’ he paused, as if searching for the right words to use ‘—you should keep in mind that he’s unlikely to want to commit to the marriage fully. What I mean is, don’t get your hopes up that he’ll let it become a real relationship. I don’t think he’s really cut out for that sort of commitment. Not any more.’
Soli nodded, but couldn’t help but frown, feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all now. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not looking for it to turn into a real marriage either,’ she said assertively, though something in the back of her mind let out a small squeak of protest.
No. She’d be a fool to even consider that happening. She was only doing this for the year, then she’d be in a much better position to commit her heart for real. With someone who truly cared about her.
The momentousness of what she’d just done suddenly hit her full force, sucking her breath away.
She was married and about to move in with a man she barely knew.
Adrenaline surged through her body, making her hands shake.
‘A year suddenly feels like an awfully long time to live with a stranger,’ she blurted.
Russell gave her a reassuring smile. ‘Don’t worry, he’ll look after you. He’s nothing if not a gentleman.’
Xavier reappeared through the doors with her bags then and came over to thank Russell for his help, giving him a friendly slap on the back, before turning to face her.
‘Are you ready to go home?’
Home.
His home though, not hers.
‘Yes, I’m ready when you are,’ she said, summoning a smile, which she hoped wouldn’t give away how nervous she was.
Xavier nodded, not seeming to notice her jitters, and set off at a brisk pace with her bags to where he’d left his car. He loaded her cases into the boot while she slipped into the passenger seat.
The car smelt wonderful: of new leather and Xavier’s distinctive scent, a mixture of the aftershave he wore and a musky, masculine fragrance all of his own. She’d been hyper-aware of it in his office when she’d first met him and it had haunted her ever since, the olfactory memory appearing in the air at random moments, though she’d known she was only imagining it. Her mind was good at playing tricks on her like that. It had done the same thing after her father died, conjuring his scent at odd moments, bringing with it a surge of such painful grief she’d often been immobilised by it.
But this definitely wasn’t a time for immobility. She needed to make good on this opportunity and she was determined to do everything in her power to make this deal work out well—for both of them.
Sensing Xavier needed a few minutes to process what had just happened too, Soli stayed quiet as they pulled away from the kerb and stared out of the window, watching the busy London streets slip by.
When he still hadn’t said a word to her as they began to drive through Hampstead Village towards the road where he lived—where they lived—she found she couldn’t stand the silence any longer. Turning to look at him, she experienced a wave of concern when she caught sight of his rigid profile.
‘Is everything okay?’ she asked quietly. ‘I’m sorry if I did something wrong back there. I thought Hugo was a friend of yours so it’d be okay to introduce myself. Surely you weren’t hoping to keep me a secret for the next year.’ Pausing, she took a shaky breath. ‘Were you?’ She laughed nervously, concern creeping over her skin as she considered the possibility that she’d hit upon the correct answer.
‘No, no, of course not, it’s fine,’ he said, but his tone wasn’t exactly convincing. ‘I hadn’t
really thought about how I’d handle telling people about us, so it caught me off guard, that’s all. But I think he bought the whirlwind marriage thing.’ He turned to look at her now and his set expression softened a little. ‘No point dwelling on it though. It’s done.’
‘No. Okay.’ His answer hadn’t done much to calm her nerves but she decided to push her concern to the back of her mind. He was right—there was no point worrying about it. She’d figure him out eventually.
They’d need to spend some quality time together this week if they were going to look like a convincing couple at Hugo’s party next weekend though. The last thing she wanted was to put her foot in it again with his friends. She hated the idea of making a fool of herself in front of them. If she and Xavier weren’t careful something like that could potentially cause resentment and tension between them, which would make for a really uncomfortable home life. She really didn’t want that. Not if they were going to have to live with each other for the next year.
After driving along the long, wide road locally referred to as ‘Millionaire’s Row’ she’d expected Xavier’s house to be impressive, but as they swung in through the automatic gates at the end of the driveway, which magically opened for his car, the true magnificence of the place struck her like a blow to the stomach. Built in the arts and crafts style, it loomed above her like an enormous geometric citadel, its two wings standing like sentries either side of the grand entrance.
‘Home, sweet home,’ he said, turning momentarily to raise both eyebrows at her as he pulled the car up to the front of the house, then turned off the engine. ‘I’ll grab your cases, then I’ll show you around.’
Taking a moment to get another swell of nerves under control, she watched him get out of the car and take her bags out of the boot, then dragged in a deep, steadying breath and got out too, following him to the front door, which he was opening with a swipe card.
It was like walking into another world as Soli took her first step into the house and she let out a gasp of wonder.
‘You weren’t expecting me to carry you over the threshold, were you?’ Xavier asked gruffly, possibly mistaking her stunned awe for upset as she stood there, gazing around the cavernous, marble-floored entrance hall with wide eyes.
‘No, of course not,’ she said, giving him a reassuring smile before returning her gaze to the dark wooden-banister staircase, which drew the eye upwards towards an ornate mullioned window, its many panes of glass winking in the late-afternoon sunshine. Looking at it, she wouldn’t be surprised to find this one room had the same square footage as her entire café.
‘Wow. I can see why you wouldn’t want to lose this place. It’s spectacular!’ she said, turning to flash him an impressed expression.
He glanced around him as if checking out what she meant, then gave her a taut smile back.
‘It’s been in my family for nearly a hundred and fifty years, but I’ve only had the privilege of living here for the last four—since my great-aunt was taken into hospital after her first stroke.’
‘That must have been hard. Coming to live here on your own when she was so ill.’
He shrugged but didn’t say anything. There was a glimmer of sadness in his eyes though, she was sure of it.
‘Have you done much to it?’ she asked, sensing his intention to keep the subject on a non-emotional level.
‘Hardly a thing, which was great for me because I could just move straight in.’ He gesticulated around the large, elegant entrance hall with its neat marble-topped table and large vase of fresh flowers sitting invitingly in the middle of the space. The subtly coloured walls were hung with striking pieces of modern art, and there was a huge gilt-framed mirror on the far one which reflected their images back to them.
‘She had really good taste and a love of interior design, so kept up with all the trends. She was always poring over those house and garden magazines,’ he said with a faraway look in his eyes, as if remembering her fondly. ‘I’m sure she would have been an interior designer if she’d had the chance but my great-uncle didn’t want her to work. He was pretty traditional like that.’
‘Right. Wow.’ She couldn’t imagine a world in which she wouldn’t be allowed to work. She’d be bored to tears.
‘Let me give you the tour,’ he said, already moving towards one of the large mahogany doors that stood open to the right of them.
He guided her around the frankly massive ground floor: through the sitting room with its classy antique furniture, the library with its shelves stuffed with old books, the snug with a huge widescreen TV on the wall and a squashy-looking sofa facing it, and then on to what he called the morning room, which looked as though no one ever used it. She guessed the William Morris wallpaper in there was original, due to its slightly faded look.
She couldn’t help but watch Xavier closely as he walked through the rooms ahead of her, his broad back straight and his long-legged gait a little tense. He intrigued her. Why was such an attractive, successful man living here alone? Maybe it had something to do with the not-believing-in-love thing.
Best not to think about that, though. She didn’t want to get herself in any kind of emotional tangle. She had enough to deal with right now.
He then led her towards the back of the house, where there was a fully equipped gym, and on through another frosted glass door leading to an indoor swimming pool, which was surrounded by green-leafed plants in pots standing against the beautiful mosaic-tiled walls.
‘You can use this any time you like,’ he said, waving his hand at it as if everyone had one and it wasn’t anything special.
A little bubble of nervous excitement, that had begun to form in the pit of her stomach as soon as she’d entered the house, rose up to her throat and tickled her tongue.
This incredible place was going to be her home for the next year.
They ended the tour of the main house in a huge kitchen diner, which was the most well-worn looking place in the house. Even so, she guessed the oak kitchen cabinets and marble-topped work surfaces would have cost a pretty penny.
This room was clearly the heart of the home and Soli immediately felt much more relaxed in here. The rest of the house was beautiful, but it had been a bit like being shown around a stately home where you weren’t allowed to touch anything.
She could imagine spending lots of time in this room though, making meals for them both and perhaps baking her locally famous cakes and biscuits for Xavier to sample. She’d welcome the chance to impress him with her cooking skills. It would make her feel less insignificant in the face of his overwhelming prowess.
He’d leant back against a scrubbed oak table in the middle of the tiled floor as she looked around, and she glanced over at him, wondering how many times he’d sat there to eat in his lifetime. She could imagine him as a bright-eyed, but serious, little boy with a wicked grin, when he chose to deploy it. Not that she’d seen any evidence of it so far. Any smiles he’d given her had seemed perfunctory and lacking in any real emotion.
What must he have gone through to not have any warmth in his smile? The thought of it made her inordinately sad, especially when it occurred to her that he might well have lost his spirit when he was a little boy.
But perhaps that wasn’t the case. He seemed to have genuine love and affection for his great-aunt and clearly adored living here judging by the reverent tone he’d used when showing the rooms to her.
‘Did your great-aunt have any children?’ she asked, thinking what a wonderful house this would be for games of hide and seek. You could probably go for hours without being discovered with all the nooks and crannies available.
‘No. I think she wanted them but it never happened. My great-uncle died before I was born so I never met him, but I used to spend a lot of time with Aunt Faith and I think she considered me the child she never had. She always invited me here during my holidays from boarding school.’
> ‘And your parents were okay with that? Didn’t they want you at home with them?’
He let out a low snort. ‘They didn’t mind at all. They’re not exactly “kid people”.’
‘Oh.’ The sharp edge of tension in his voice disturbed her. Was he telling her that his parents didn’t want anything to do with him? How heartbreaking.
‘Anyway,’ Xavier said loudly, making her jump, ‘let me show you the room you’ll be staying in. Part of the ground floor was converted into a bedroom for my great-aunt to live in, but wasn’t used because she had the second stroke before she could move into it.’
She followed him out of the kitchen and back to the entrance hall, suspecting there would probably be a lot of Xavier suddenly changing the subject when things started to get too personal for his liking—which would be frustrating, considering she needed to get to know this enigmatic man a lot better in a very short space of time if they were going to come across as a convincing couple.
‘It’s down here,’ he said, guiding her along a hallway towards the back of the house, then through a door with its own mortice lock and into a large, airy bedroom.
So her bedroom was to be downstairs? As far away from Xavier’s as possible, perhaps. Not that she had any right to question this. It was his home after all and she was, to all intents and purposes, his guest.
Like the kitchen in the main house, the bedroom was decorated in a warm, homey style, which immediately made her feel comfortable. There was a queen-sized bed against the wall on the far side and the rest of the room was kitted out in tasteful modern furniture, which, she suspected from its pristine gleam, had never been used before. Her heart fluttered as she realised there was a walk-in wardrobe. She’d only ever had half a small wardrobe at home, where she’d shared a room with Domino.
‘You’ll need to put some of your things, like toiletries and clothes, in my room too, just in case one of the solicitor’s people drops round without giving us any notice and goes snooping. We don’t want to give ourselves away by overlooking details like that,’ Xavier said, crossing his arms, making him seem even more intimidating than usual.
A Contract, a Wedding, a Wife? Page 5