It’s no use.
“Are you looking for him?”
I snap my head up. “Who?” I ask, feigning innocence.
“Hastings.”
Hearing his last name causes me to lose my breath. I can feel the now all too familiar sting of tears beginning.
“No,” I say quietly. “I’m not looking for him.”
“He’s been coming in here with nothing but grunts and scowls. Hasn’t even been chatty about that little goat of his.”
The mention of Marshmallow is what sends me over the edge, and I’m a blubbering fool again.
“Oh shit. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
The panic of seeing lady tears is real. He begins rushing around, making my drink as I grab a few napkins and wipe at my face.
“Here.” He slides my drink toward me. “On the house.”
I shake my head. “No way. I’m paying.”
“Hastings would have my ass if he knew I made his lady cry and then didn’t do anything to remedy it. There’s no way you’re spending a penny on that drink.”
I want to correct him, tell him I don’t think I’m anyone’s lady anymore, but I don’t have it in my heart to say it out loud.
I stare him down, hoping he’ll budge. He doesn’t.
“Well, thank you then.”
“My pleasure.”
When he turns away from the counter and isn’t watching, I stuff a ten in his tip jar.
Take that.
I grab my drink and make my way over to an open pinball machine. I spend the next hour or so putting all my aggression—and about twenty bucks—into that and skee-ball.
It’s amazing to me how therapeutic it is.
As I’m walking out the door, the barista calls out to me. “Make sure to check on our guy, okay?”
God, that hurts.
I nod and swiftly make my way outside, where I have to bend over to catch my breath…again.
A few pedestrians pass by me, staring. I do my best to straighten myself up and climb into my car without any other incidents.
I make my way back over to campus to pick up Zoe. She’s waiting at the edge of the parking lot for me.
“How was your afternoon?” she asks timidly once she’s inside the car.
“It was…” I pause, debating if I should tell her where I ended up. I decide against it, not wanting to explain. “It was great to go out and about for a bit, get off the couch for a while.”
I feel terrible for not telling her where I went, but then again, I don’t. There are some things I need to keep private.
“I’m so happy to hear that.”
I nod and navigate us to our favorite pizza place. All I can think about is the fact that the last time I had pizza was with Zach when we sat in his car eating.
This time I don’t want to cry; I want to smile.
For a second, I think everything will be okay.
A pounding at the door wakes me from the first decent night’s sleep I’ve had in days.
“Coming!” I yell as I peel myself off the couch.
Zoe and I passed out while watching Penny Dreadful. Guess it wasn’t such a smart idea to eat half a pizza each after all.
Stumbling to the door, I swing it open without checking the peephole. To say I’m surprised by who I find on the other side would be an understatement.
I rub my eyes to make sure they aren’t deceiving me.
They aren’t.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I ask, “What are you guys doing here?”
“Go ahead, tell her, you ass.”
Shep grumbles something incoherent. Caleb gets right in his face.
“What was that, dick? Want to say it again?”
Shep shoves at him and he shoves back—harder.
“Don’t test me right now. I’m this fucking close to punching you again.”
For the first time, I notice that Shep’s right eye is starting to bruise. I can’t help but get a smidge of satisfaction from that.
“Tell her,” Caleb bites out.
“Fine. It was me, okay? I’m the one who sent the photo.” Shep turns to Caleb. “You fucking happy now?”
He scoffs. “Not even close. Tell her everything.”
“Why? She knows it was me, what else does she need?”
Caleb gives him a cold smile, and it’s enough to make even me shiver. “Because it’s the most pitiful thing I’ve ever heard and I want to hear you say it again.”
Another grumble out of Shep, a slap to the back of the head from Caleb.
“Quit hitting me!”
“Quit pussyfooting around and get on with it.”
“Fine. Fuck. I snooped around on Zach’s phone when he let me borrow it, found that pic you’d sent him, and sent it my way for, you know, later. I made sure to delete the sent text from Zach’s phone because he didn’t need to know what I was doing.”
My stomach turns at the thought of Shep masturbating to a naked photo of me—hell, any photo of me—but I think what repulses me the most is that he’s Zach’s brother and he violated not only me, but him too. What kind of person does that to their family?
“Disgusting,” Caleb mutters.
“Shut the fuck up.” Shep meets my eyes for the first time and I have to take a step back when I see the hatred pouring out of his. “Anyway, you wouldn’t shut your mouth about your little friend Zoe, implying that I screwed her over or some shit. Newsflash, darlin’, she gave it up real easy. I got my piece and I was done.”
My hands curl into fists at my sides. Now I’m the one who wants to hit him.
“So, yeah, I screenshotted the picture and forwarded it on to a few friends.”
“And those fuckers forwarded it on to a few of their friends,” Caleb says with a sneer.
My mouth is hanging open. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“You were mad because I called you out for screwing my friend over? Is that what I’m gathering from all this?”
“You did it in front of my family, on Thanksgiving. Great table manners there, Delia.”
He spits my name out like a curse.
“That has to be the pettiest shit I’ve ever heard of.”
Shep shrugs and I can feel my pulse kick up, my muscles tense at how nonchalant he is about all of this. What an asshole.
“You sent a naked picture of me to your buddies because you’re a man-whore and I called you out on that? Is your ego really that fragile? Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Any clue at all what it could do to my future if anyone found out it was me?”
“No one will. I kept it anonymous. No harm, no foul.”
This time it’s me who steps toward him. “No harm, no foul? Please tell me you’re joking. Numerous strangers saw a naked picture of me. I feel violated beyond belief. What’s to stop them from sending it all over campus? Or posting it on the internet? I cannot believe you don’t think this is a big deal.”
“It’s just a pair of tits. You didn’t even have the balls to put your pussy on camera.”
The sound of skin smacking against skin is deafening.
I slap him—hard, so hard that he stumbles backward.
I don’t feel an iota of regret for doing it.
“You hit me!”
My hand shakes as I grab the doorknob. “And I’m about to again if you don’t get out of this building…now!”
He glares at me before attempting to tuck tail and run.
Caleb grabs him before he can get far. “Not so fast. I’m not done with you.”
The two have a short-lived staring contest—with Shep giving up first—before Caleb turns my way.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Caleb.”
He practically drags Shep down the hall by his collar, shaking him a few times.
I can only imagine what he’ll do to him, and the thought brings a smile to my face.
Closing the door, I turn back to the couch. Zoe’s still passed out. Should I wake her an
d let her know what happened or wait until morning? I glance at the clock: it’s already midnight. If I wake her up now, we’ll be up for hours gabbing, and she doesn’t need that.
That said, I’m wide awake right now. Not even the couch appears inviting.
Ambling my way down the hall, I close myself into my bedroom and click on my Bluetooth speaker. I pull out my phone as I plop down onto my bed and put on something soothing.
I toss my phone aside and close my eyes, leaning against my headboard, trying to calm myself.
I’m still shaky from the slap.
What Shep did was childish. Is he really that hard up for attention that he believed sending someone’s private photo out to strangers would be a smart idea? Or is he just an ass?
I don’t understand how any of this made sense in his mind. That’s not an eye for an eye—that’s a severed head for an eye.
He was out for blood, and he’d found what he was looking for.
Only now he’s been caught, and I will be making him face consequences…after Caleb’s done with him, of course.
Now I have to decide what I’m going to do about Zach. How can I even begin to decide how to approach all of this? How do I tell him it was his brother who betrayed us both?
How do I tell him I’m sorry?
I pick up my phone and pull up our texts, scrolling through them like I have for the past several days now. At this point, I might even be able to recite them word for word; that’s how pathetic I am.
My fingers hover over the keyboard. I don’t know what to say.
I screwed up?
I’m the worst?
I should have trusted you?
I type and retype several different messages. None of them are enough.
Finally, I send the only thing I know I have to say.
Me: I’m sorry.
Those three dots pop up and then disappear, only to come back seconds later.
After several minutes of the same routine, they stop reappearing.
Me: I know it wasn’t you who sent the photo out. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to realize that in the beginning.
* * *
Zach: I’m sorry you didn’t too.
* * *
Zach: But, Delia?
God, even reading my name makes my heart pound. It’s been too many days since I’ve heard it drop from his lips.
I didn’t know I could miss someone this much before now.
Me: Yeah?
* * *
Zach: Go to bed. It’s after midnight.
Laughter flows out of me, and I feel giddy. His text is so simple, so…Zach.
For the first time in days, I have hope again.
Twenty-Three
“You want to do what?”
“Steal Marshmallow.”
“Are you insane? Because you sound certifiable right about now. We cannot steal a goat.”
“We can too. All it takes is getting a window open at Zach’s, crawling inside, and snatching the goat.”
“I can read the headlines now—WANTED: TWO ADORABLY SEXY COLLEGE GIRLS STEAL BABY GOAT.”
I raise a brow at her. “Adorably sexy?”
“What?” She shrugs. “It’s not a lie.”
“Anyway, I was thinking after Caleb stopped by—”
“Which I am still pissed about missing, by the way.”
I received an earful yesterday about not waking her up before, during, and after, but only because she was desperate to get in on the slapping Shep action too.
Luckily, she was already running late from class and I was passed out by the time she came home last night, so I didn’t have to hear about it again.
This morning though? She ripped into me again.
I wave her off. “Yeah, yeah. So I was thinking, we should steal Marshmallow. Then Zach would have to see me and we’d have to talk.”
“I want to repeat my earlier question, but I think you’d throw something at me if I did.”
“I am being dead serious right now, Zoe, and if you don’t want in on stealing the goat, I’ll get Caleb to help me.”
“Oh, hell no. There’s no way I’m missing out on you stealing a goat, you nut.”
“So you’re in?”
“I’m in,” she says. “But we need a plan first.”
“Already one step ahead of you. You’ll knock on the door and plead with Zach, pretending to be a helpless stranger with a broken-down car. I’ll sneak around back and climb through the window in Marshmallow’s room.”
“A few things. One, the goat has his own room?” I nod. “Why?”
“Because he’s really cute and deserves his own space.”
She looks at me like she’s waiting for the punch line, but I’m not joking. When this dawns on her, she continues. “Right. Two, Zach knows who I am, so I can’t pretend to be a helpless stranger.”
“You make an excellent point.” I steeple my hands together and rest my chin on them. “Ideas?”
“How about I go over there pretending to want to chat with him about what a sleaze you are?”
I glare at her. “We’ll work on your angle.”
“Fine. So, three, why are we stealing the goat again?”
“I told you: so then he’ll have to talk to me.”
“Why don’t you just knock on the door and talk to him?”
I screw my face up at her. “Because that isn’t as fun as stealing Marshmallow.”
She stares at me, not blinking.
“You don’t get it. Zach will. He’ll understand.”
“He’ll understand you stealing his goat?”
“Just wait, you’ll see.”
“When are we to execute this plan of yours?” she asks.
“Do you work tomorrow night?”
“No, but you really need to think about this, Delia.”
“Think about what?”
She sits on the couch next to me. “Your relationship with Zach and what Shep did. Will you be able to move past it? Can you forgive him? If you’re planning to become serious with Zach, which is where I believe you two were headed, you’ll be attending family functions. Shep will be there. How will you handle that?”
“I…”
Well, hell, I hadn’t thought of that. The only thing I’ve had on the brain as of late is Zach.
If Zach lets me explain, what am I going to do about Shep? I already plan to go to the dean’s office about him—there is no way in hell I’ll be able to watch him out on the baseball field representing our school and not think of the time he spread a naked picture of me around.
There should be no reward for doing something so degrading.
Baseball isn’t a necessity; it’s a privilege.
But what about outside of school, during the family functions Zoe mentioned? Will I avoid him? What happens when I tell his parents?
This is more complicated than I thought it would be.
“This might be one of those bridges I cross when I get to it. Besides, we aren’t even sure if Zach will want to talk to me.”
“I wouldn’t talk to you if you stole my goat.”
“Liar.”
She nods. “True. So, tomorrow is when you’ll try to win your man back?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Why did you insist on wearing a neon green shirt? We’re aiming for sneaky.”
I’m decked out in black from head to toe.
She isn’t.
“You didn’t tell me that!” she hisses.
“It’s common knowledge that when you try to burglarize a place, you wear black, like the night, so you blend in, not neon freakin’ green.”
She pulls at her bright shirt. “I’ll have you know this is pastel, not neon.”
“Same thing.”
“Two totally different things.”
“Shh! Lower your voice.”
“We are literally sitting inside your car down the road from his house. Why do we need to whisper right now?”
“Because we need to
stay in character!”
She mutters under her breath and I reach over and pinch her.
“Ow! You bitch!”
“Shh!”
“Oh my god. Can we get on with this already?”
“Fine. Now you remember the plan, yes?”
“I’ll knock on the door and seduce your sexy nerd of a boyfriend while you break into the goat’s bedroom,” she says.
“No, no seducing.”
“You sure? I thought you said seduce.”
“I will pinch you again.”
She scoots as far away as she can. “No seducing—noted. Let’s go.”
We exit the car and I tiptoe off toward the back side of the neighborhood.
“You don’t look even an ounce inconspicuous!” she shouts as she climbs into the driver’s seat.
“I hate you!” I flip her the bird as I continue making my way to a stranger’s back yard.
I sneak to the edge, right along the fence blocking the woods behind their houses. My heart is beating so loud I’m afraid it’s going to rouse people from sleep.
I can’t believe I’m about to steal a goat.
The things we do for love, right?
Creeping along, I make sure to check that Zoe and I are at the same points. She slinks along in the car, waiting for me to give her the signal that I’m in place.
I can see from here that she’s dancing along to something on the radio.
Only Zoe.
When I finally reach the edge of Zach’s back yard, I jump up and down and wave at Zoe. She shoots me a thumbs up and parks the car.
I make my way toward the house and peek inside the window into Marshmallow’s bedroom. It’s too dark to really see anything.
Shit! I didn’t even think of that possibility.
The window isn’t far from the ground and surprisingly, I can reach it just fine, so I push on it with all my might.
It takes a couple tries, but I finally get it open.
“Zach! Hey! How’s that ass of yours?” I hear Zoe say loudly. She must be on the porch with him.
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