All The King's Horses: A Tale Of Eternal Love
Page 21
Summer wasn’t too far away, she was pleased about that. She didn’t want to die on one of these dreary spring days. She wanted to go out with the kiss of the sun on her face, and the song of the birds in her ears.
She would talk Kent into taking her out to Mark’s farmlet when the warmer weather started. He could set her up a chair under the shade of the old oak tree and she could watch Talitha ride her pony around the little paddock. Afterwards they could all sit down and enjoy a leisurely picnic together. They would have ham sandwiches’ with the English mustard that Kent liked so much, and the rock cakes that were Jack’s favorite, and of course ice cream for Talitha. Then they would wash it all down with ice cold ginger beer.
Afterwards, as they relaxed beneath the ancient trees branches Jack could entertain them with tales from his youth, and Talitha would play in the low slung branches as Kent held his wife’s hand and whispered in her ear how much he loved her. That was living. That was what life was meant to be about, and she looked forward to it with an eagerness that defied her true condition.
She would like Kent to take her out in the Bonnie Lass one last time too. Just the two of them alone out there on the water, with the summer breeze brushing past her face and the taste of sea salt on her lips, and if God willed it a pod of dolphins for her to marvel at like she had on their first date over five years ago. If she had to die then she wished to go out with a bang and not a whimper. When her mother had died from meningitis she had succumbed to it so quickly that she had not had the chance to say her goodbyes. She had missed out on telling her dearest how much she loved them. But unlike her mother Christy had been given fair warning of her fate, and she was determined to use the time she had left wisely. Each of her three loved ones would experience what she held in her heart for them before her time on earth was through, and so when she was called to join her ancestors she would depart in the knowledge that she was leaving behind a legacy of love.
By the time early summer arrived Christy’s weight had plummeted to a shade over seven stone. Her body was weak, but her indomitable spirit kept her strong.
She had her picnic at the farm. In fact, she enjoyed it so much that she insisted upon several. She even got her day out on the water with Kent, and he had gently lowered her complete with life jacket into the water when eight dolphins turned up to play alongside the boat. She had laughed so much that day as they danced and frolicked around her that her ribs had ached for days afterwards. But what a summer she had given to her family. A summer they would all remember for the rest of their lives.
Kent and Jack had planned a party for her thirty-third birthday which was four weeks after Christmas, and Christy was looking forward to it, just themselves and a few close friends. Kent had decided he would organize a big screen to be set up in the lounge, and a few of Christy’s favorite gangster movies would be shown.
As Christmas drew near her condition deteriorated further, and she sensed she didn’t have long to go.
“Kent…” she said one evening as she lay in his arms listening to the crickets outside her bedroom window, “when I’m buried I want you to promise me you’ll visit my grave every year on my birthday.”
He didn’t answer just continued to stare at a spot on the ceiling.
“I know you don’t want to think about that yet,” she said softly, “but I would rest a lot easier if you would promise me that you will.”
He turned his head on the pillow to look at her. “I promise,” he said quietly.
“And will you promise me you will be there at exactly six o’clock on the evening of my birthday?”
“Yes,” he said, but his eyes betrayed his puzzlement at the specific request.
“And will you bring me one red rose and place it on my headstone?”
“Yes,” he promised again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
“Hello, Jocelyn, it’s Christy London here.”
There was a long silence at the other end. “Hello, Christy,” Jocelyn said eventually. “Has something happened to Kent?”
“No, Kent is fine,” Christy assured her.
“You had me worried for a moment the other woman said. “You’ve only ever texted me before and so when I heard your voice I feared the worst.”
“Kent is in good health, it is me who doesn’t have long to live.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jocelyn said, and Christy could detect the sincerity in her voice.
“Jocelyn, when I asked you for your phone number all those months ago it was with a purpose in mind,” Christy confessed.
“I guessed as much, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what that purpose might be.”
“I’ve kept you up to date with the happenings in Kent’s life because he is going to need you soon.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I have picked you out for him, Jocelyn. It was a no brainer really. He loved you all those years ago and I don’t think that love has ever really died.” She paused for a moment. “And you have never stopped loving him have you?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Then when you told us you wanted children but couldn’t have any I knew you were the person I was looking for. My daughter is going to need a mother, Jocelyn. She is still so little, and vulnerable, and I believe you would be a good mother to her.”
“This is all rather a lot for me to take in, Christy. I had no idea that this is what all these months of text messaging have been about.”
“I realize that, but if I was to make this work I had to plan the whole thing in advance. Once I am gone it will be all up to you to see it through to a successful conclusion.”
“Does Kent know about this?”
“No, Jocelyn, he doesn’t. You can’t leave matters of the heart to Kent. Nothing would ever come to pass.” She chuckled. “I practically had to throw myself at him to get him to be my man.”
“Yes, it was much the same way for me,” Jocelyn confided. “So, how do you propose we bring this reunion about?”
“Kent is the type of man who is going to take my passing very hard. He won’t entertain the idea of rekindling a relationship with you until he has mourned me for a year. So you will need to keep away from him for that long at least.”
“I have kept away from him for much longer than that although I have been in love with him. I don’t suppose another year would prove impossible.”
“Once Kent has had the chance to get his head around the fact that I am gone from his life he will slowly return to his old practical self again. He’ll realize that Talitha needs a mother, and he’ll also realize that he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life alone.” She paused just long enough to give Jocelyn a chance to take it all in. “I think a year should be enough for him to start seeing things from a practical perspective.”
“I can’t just walk back into his life unannounced after a year.” Jocelyn protested. “I’m not that calculating.”
“Do you want him or not?” Christy asked bluntly.
“Yes, of course I do. But Kent is about to go through the toughest time of his life, and I’m not prepared to behave like some predator ready to pounce at a moment’s notice. I love him too much to do that to him.”
Christy considered what Jocelyn had just told her. She was a refreshingly unselfish woman. Most females would have plotted and schemed along with the best of them to snare the man of their heart. But Jocelyn was genuinely concerned for Kent’s welfare even though she knew by ignoring Christy’s advice she could miss out on Kent forever. She would make a good wife for Kent.
“I understand your reluctance to push yourself forward,” Christy said carefully. “But what you have to understand is Kent isn’t going to able to cope on his own. He needs you much more than you need him, and he will realize that in time.”
“Kent coped well enough without me when I left him, Christy. I don’t think a man with Kent’s strength of character needs me to sort his life out for him.”
Chris
ty thought about her comment for a moment. She was right, Kent did have great strength of character, but then what he was about to go through was much more than he had ever been put through before. How could she tell Jocelyn that Kent had shared a love with his wife that only a very few ever did? A love so close and all encompassing that when she was laid in her grave he would feel he had been laid in there with her and no one who hadn’t experienced such a bond could comprehend what that could do to a person. Christy knew, because she and Kent were one.
“You underestimate what he is about to go through,” Christy argued. “Kent may be a strong man but even the strongest of men need someone to lean on through the difficult times.”
“And what makes you think Kent will want that person to be me?”
“I know my husband, Jocelyn.”
“That answer doesn’t fill me with much confidence, Christy. I can see Jocelyn Holwood making an incredible fool of herself if she follows your plan.”
“He told me he still loves you, Jocelyn. I think that should be enough incentive for you to at least try.”
“But I thought…”
“You thought that because he loved me so much that he no longer had any room in his heart for you?”
“Yes.”
“The human heart has a great capacity to love, Jocelyn, and Kent’s heart is no exception.” She could hear Jocelyn’s irregular breathing down the phone line and knew her revelation had affected her. “So are you ready to listen to my proposal?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Then this is what I want you to do…”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
“You will take very good care of Talitha when I’m gone won’t you, Daddy?” Christy was sitting on the front lawn in a comfortable chair Kent had bought especially for her. It was well padded to cushion her emaciated body which would have ached terribly in a conventional chair.
He fixed his vibrant blue eyes on her and smiled weakly. He hated her to mention her impending departure from his life. “You know that I will, Baby Doll. I will be extra gentle with her.”
“It will be hard for her without her mother here. She and I have become very close, and she has come to rely quite heavily on me.”
“It will be hard for her,” he agreed, “but little children seem to bounce back better than older people do when they lose a loved one.”
“I hope that will be the case for my baby,” Christy said, laying her head back and watching the fluffy white clouds ease their way across the blue summer sky. “But I do worry about her.”
“I know it is easy for me to say, Darling, but try not to worry, Kent and I will give her all the love and attention we can.”
“You will keep an eye on Kent for me too, won’t you?” she asked, still watching those clouds.
“I’ll do what I can. But I’m not going to start bossing him around if that’s what you’re hoping.”
“Make sure he laughs a lot, Daddy. You’re good at telling jokes and making people laugh. It will help him to carry on.”
“He’s a good feller is Kent. I’m proud to have him for my son-in-law, and I’ll do anything I can to support him.”
“Now I just need to find someone to look after you.”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve already had a word to Kent about doing that,” Jack said wryly.
“Yes, I have,” Christy confessed, and then giggled. “You’re both as bad as each other when it comes to looking after yourselves. So I figured if I could get you to watch out for each other then the pair of you may just get through alright.”
“We’ll be alright, Darling, so don’t you go worrying yourself about us.” His work roughened hand found its way to her slender one. “I will miss you terribly,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “I know I’ve never been much good at expressing my feelings, especially after your mum died, but I do love you very much, and I’m as proud of you as any father could possibly be of his daughter.”
“Thank you, Daddy. That means a lot to me.” He was right when he said he hadn’t been good at expressing his feelings since her mum had died. He had retreated into himself and had successfully suppressed his previously affectionate nature. She had never held it against him he just hadn’t coped well with his grief. She hoped this time he would get the support he needed to pull him through.
♥
Christmas day arrived and Christy couldn’t remember a Christmas she had enjoyed more. Kent had brought back a magnificent pine that he had chopped down on Mark’s farm and they had all decorated it together. Jack had put on a Christmas c.d. and they sang every song from White Christmas to Little Town Of Bethlehem.
When she got tired she had sat down and watched her family as they worked on the tree together. God had blessed her with a wonderful family, and she thought how blessed she had been to live out these past six years in happiness instead of dying on that cold winters morning so long ago.
Talitha had been very excited in the build up to Christmas this time round, being five years old now she understood what the day meant, and it wasn’t just the presents that appealed to her either. She could remember the fun and laughter from the previous year, even though she had only been four, and had picked up on the adults’ conversations on how this Christmas was going to be the best one ever.
A child’s excitement over Christmas can be infectious, and so it hadn’t been long before the older members of the family had been caught up in it and carried along in a wave of euphoria.
On Christmas morning as they opened their presents Jack filmed each one in turn. He had focused mostly on her though, and Christy knew he had done it so she would be with them for every Christmas day to come. They would play the recording back each year as they opened their presents so their wife and daughter and mother would be right there with them.
Christy had given Kent a framed photo of the four of them taken on their first day at Disneyland. They were all smiles and she knew he would treasure it for the rest of his life. She had also given him a ring inscribed with a declaration of her love for him which she knew he would treasure even more.
She had bought Talitha the most beautiful doll, complete with an entire wardrobe of clothes so she could dress and undress her until her little heart was content.
For Jack she had chosen a gold watch, something he had always wanted but for some reason had never acquired. ‘To Daddy with all my love, Christy,’ was what she had engraved on its underside.
They had all eaten until they were stuffed and then settled down to watch some Christmas movies.
Christy fell asleep that night snuggled under Kent’s arm and contented, aware that this was to be her last Christmas but satisfied with the fact that it had been her happiest ever.
♥
By the time Christy’s birthday had arrived four weeks later she was barely a shadow of her former self, and she could no longer walk unaided. Kent was for cancelling the birthday party he and Jack had organized but she was adamant she wanted it to go ahead. “I have been looking forward to this for so long,” she said to him, “please don’t take it away from me.”
He looked at her doubtfully. “Are you up to it? There will be quite a few of our friends here and I don’t want you to become exhausted.”
“I will be alright,” she assured him. “It is just what I need at the moment. I have been doing nothing but lying around these past few weeks and I am fed up with it.”
“You will tell me if it becomes too much for you won’t you?”
“Yes, Darling, I will.”
And so the party went ahead. And Christy did get exhausted. But she also had the time of her life. They had laughed, they had reminisced, and they had watched Christy’s beloved gangster movies.
That night as Christy lay in bed waiting for Kent to join her she listened to him singing to Talitha and smiled to herself. He had such a beautiful singing voice, and Talitha would join in with a passion that only little children possessed. Then of course, they would always end on
Humpty Dumpty and Kent would kiss his little girl goodnight and rejoin Christy.
Kent had finished and pulling the door shut on their bedroom turned to smile at Christy before he turned out their light.
The words of Humpty Dumpty were still fresh in her head.
“Christy London was having a ball…along came cancer and made her fall…all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Christy together again.”
With his hand still on the light switch his smile vanished, and tears immediately flooded his eyes.
When she saw his reaction to her ditty her heart went out to him. “Oh, Kent, I’m sorry. That was so insensitive of me.”
As he stayed riveted to the spot a strange groan coming from somewhere deep in his chest made it up to his throat, and then he was weeping, it was an outpouring of anguish from a man who knew he was about to lose the one thing he valued the most.
If she could have gone to him she would have. But she was too weak. “Come here, My Love,” she coaxed, her arms stretched out to him.
He staggered the short distance to the bed and she took him into her arms. “I am sorry, My Darling,” she said again. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just didn’t think.”
“I am so frightened,” he said with difficulty. “I am frightened to go on living without you.”
“And I fear leaving you. We’re joined together you and I like no two people ever were. But it’s beyond our power to remain together, and so we must accept that we’ll soon be parted.”
“I can’t bear the thought of it. You and I were meant to be together forever. I am nothing without you.”
“You are still the same man you were before you met me. You will be the same man when I am gone.”
“No, you’re wrong,” he said, almost angry at her suggestion. “You made me a much better man than I was before, and when you’re gone I have no idea what I’ll become.”
“Why would you change from who you are now?”