by Terri Reed
She squeezed her eyes tight against the onslaught of horrible scenarios that played through her mind. Awfulizing was destructive, as her therapist had advised on numerous occasions. She wasn’t even sure that was a real thing but she understood the sentiment behind his caution.
Letting herself spin awful outcomes that hadn’t happened as if they had happened only led her to a place of fear. She’d been doing so well here in Desert Valley. All that peace she’d been experiencing had been an illusion, shattered by her brother’s reemergence into her life.
“Please, Lord, this time, please don’t let anything bad happen to Shane and James.”
A soft tap on her door brought her to an abrupt halt. The puppies rushed toward the sound. She stared at the portal, half-afraid to answer the knock.
“Gina?”
Shane’s voice echoed inside her head and relief swept through her, making her knees weak. He was alive. That was something to celebrate. But was he hurt?
On shaky limbs she hurried to unlock the door. She scooped up one pup, scooted the other away with her foot and swung the door open. Shane stood there, tall and proud, with worry in his green eyes.
A profound gladness to see him in one piece with no sign of harm washed over her and she nearly launched herself into his arms. To keep from making a fool of herself, she nuzzled the puppy closer to her chest as if doing so would temper her exploding heart. “Did you... Was it Tim?”
Shane shrugged his broad shoulders. “Not sure. But whoever it was—they’re gone now.”
Letting her chin rest on Lucy’s tiny head, she took a deep, calming breath. “Good.” She shook her head. “But he won’t stop until I’m dead.”
Shane stepped into the room and gently took the puppy and set it on the floor. Then his big hands settled on her shoulders. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
Warmth from his palms seeped through her lightweight sweater and heated her skin. She gave him a tremulous smile. His concern was so sweet and his determination admirable. But she couldn’t put him or anyone else in harm’s way, Tim’s way, again.
Veronica had paid the ultimate price with her life at Tim’s hand. Gina couldn’t bear it if another person died because her brother couldn’t get to her, especially someone she cared for. “I know you would, but the best thing for me, for everyone, is for me to leave. To disappear again. To start over somewhere else, hopefully somewhere Tim can never find me.”
Shane’s brows drew together. “You can’t run. If you do, you’ll be running your whole life. That’s no way to live.”
“What choice do I have?” she implored, needing to make him understand. “I don’t want anyone else to die because of me.”
“No one else will,” Shane argued. “Now that we know there’s a threat out there, we’ll all take precautions. Tomorrow we’ll put out your brother’s photo. Someone in town will have seen him. Desert Valley is a tight-knit community. Any stranger will draw attention.”
She moved out of his grasp to where she’d set her suitcase. She held it in front of her like a shield. “I have to leave Desert Valley. There’s no other way to keep everyone safe.” She glanced at the puppies rolling around on the floor in a cute wrestling match. Her heart hitched. “Will you make sure the puppies are cared for?”
For a long moment, he stayed silent. A muscle in his jaw jumped as he paused, clearly digesting her words. She had no doubt he’d come to the same conclusion that her leaving was the best idea.
Then he shook his head, dispelling her of that notion. “No, leaving is not an option. If you don’t trust me to protect you, I’ll talk to the chief and have him assign someone else.”
“No!” The objection shot from her before she could formulate any coherent thought. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I don’t want you to get hurt. It’s too dangerous.”
He smile was tender. He took the suitcase from her and set it on the floor. “I appreciate your concern, but I signed up for danger the minute I applied to the police academy. I’m more troubled by the thought of you fleeing and giving your brother the power to chase you away from the life you’ve made for yourself here in Desert Valley.”
His words rattled through her, stirring up the resentment and anger she’d spent so many years stifling. “I don’t want to give Tim any more power over my life. He’s taken too much away from me as it is.”
“I can’t imagine the losses you’ve suffered.”
Empathy dripped from Shane’s words, prompting her to say, “For as long as I can remember, he garnered most of the attention from our parents with his bad behavior. There were times when I felt invisible.”
“Because they were busy dealing with Tim.” His words weren’t a question but a statement that pegged the situation exactly.
“The majority of their energy went into helping Tim, keeping him from the destructive behavior he was prone to.”
“Which left little time for you.”
“Right.” He seemed to understand so well. Why was that? “I learned to be self-sufficient. Mom would always say I was more responsible and wiser than most kids my age.”
“I’m sure she appreciated that she could rely on you.”
Guilt clawed through Gina. Tears pricked her eyes. “And I failed her. The night of her death she’d asked me to keep an eye on Tim while she attended a church function. She’d thought he’d taken his meds that kept him calm, but he hadn’t.”
Shane enclosed her hand within his. “What happened?”
She curled her fingers around his. “Tim had an episode. He went totally ballistic. I was so afraid of him. Dad was on duty and couldn’t be reached. So I hid in the closet and called Mom, begging her to come home. She never did.”
Shane squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“If I hadn’t called her...if I’d been able to handle Tim on my own, then Mom wouldn’t have been driving so fast and wouldn’t have lost control on the black ice, slamming into the concrete divider.”
“Her accident wasn’t your fault.”
She retracted her hand from his grip. Guilt and sorrow settled around her like a veil, dulling her view of the world. “Yes, it was. And now Veronica’s dead, too, because of me. I have to leave before Tim kills someone else.”
“Gina, listen to me.” Shane gripped her shoulders. “Stop being a martyr. You are not responsible for your brother’s actions.”
Defensiveness reared through her. “That’s what you think I’m doing? Being a martyr?”
His expression softened and his voice gentled. “Yes. You’re smarter and stronger than you let yourself believe.”
The compliment bounced off her as indignation took hold. How dare he say she was being a martyr? He didn’t know her well enough to make that kind of assessment.
Yet something inside of her stilled. Was she being a martyr? Maybe that was how her mental illness would surface. She shuddered.
“Leaving isn’t the answer,” he insisted with grim determination tingeing his tone. “You have the whole Desert Valley Police Department behind you. Let us do our jobs. We’ll protect you. And arrest Tim and put him away where he can’t hurt anyone ever again.”
“But you’re leaving come Monday morning. You won’t be here to protect me.”
A frown pinched his eyebrows together. “Ryder will be here and the chief. They are good and dedicated police officers. They will protect you. But hopefully, we’ll catch Tim by Monday morning.”
Against her will fat tears welled in her eyes. She desperately wanted to believe in Shane. Believe he could triumph over Tim. “But what if he hurts you or someone else?” She laid her hands on his broad chest. His heart beat strong beneath her palms. “I couldn’t take it.”
“We have to trust God.”
Staring into Shane’s green eyes, she dug deep
for faith and trust and hope. From the far reaches of her soul she found the courage to nod. She blinked to clear her tears.
She’d stay and stand her ground. She’d let the men and women of the Desert Valley Police Department protect her. She’d trust Shane.
And she’d pray every single moment for their safety.
Because if another person died because of her, she would shrivel up and die herself.
* * *
By Monday morning, Tim hadn’t surfaced. He was still on the loose and Gina’s nerves were stretched taut. Shane and Bella escorted Gina and the puppies to the training center to begin the puppies’ training. As they entered, Gina noticed the caution signs indicating the linoleum floors had recently been mopped and were slick. She scooped up Lucy, holding her in a cuddling position against her chest. She said to Shane, “Can you carry Ricky? Their nails will slip on the wet floor.”
“Of course.” He picked up Ricky and held him like a football. She suppressed a smile. Dressed in jeans that hugged his muscular legs and a short-sleeved, colorful checked button-down shirt, he and the puppy made a handsome pair. One would never know he was an officer of the law, except for the service weapon holstered at his hip on the belt encircling his trim waist and the gold shield butted up next to the holster.
Though she’d dressed in her normal work attire of lightweight stain-resistant pants and a pink T-shirt, she sort of wished she were dressed a little more attractively. She nearly groaned at her silliness. She wasn’t trying to attract the handsome rookie.
They moved farther into the center, past the bathing stations and the room they used to chip the canines. The place where Veronica had faced her attacker.
Thankfully all traces of the devastating violence that had occurred here were gone. Mopped up and wiped away. No doubt the chief had a crew of crime and trauma scene decontamination come in from Flagstaff and take care of the aftermath of Veronica’s death once the Flagstaff crime scene unit had finished collecting evidence.
Gina’s stomach lurched as the horrible scenario of Veronica being shot by Tim played inside her head, like a movie clip. Her mouth went dry. Tears burned the backs of her eyes. Lucy licked her face, breaking the hold her imagination had on her mind.
“You okay?”
Shane’s gently asked question forced her feet to move. “I will be when Tim is caught.”
In the common space, Gina was grateful to see the other trainer, Sophie, was already at the center.
“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here today.” Sophie leaned on the mop in her hand and dressed in blue coveralls. Her blond hair was twisted up in back.
Heart beating in her throat, Gina managed to say, “You didn’t clean up...?”
Sophie’s eyes widened. “Oh, no. That’s not in my job description.” She visibly shuddered. “I was keeping busy by cleaning the indoor yard and mopping out the bath station.”
A job they rotated doing. Gina blew out a relieved breath. She’d hate to think her fellow trainer had had to be responsible for the cleanup of the crime scene.
“Did you get any rest?”
Sophie’s question didn’t surprise Gina. She’d seen the dark circles under her eyes in the mirror. There wasn’t much she could do to hide them. “I managed to get a little sleep. You don’t mind that we’re here, do you?”
“Not at all.” Sophie scratched Lucy behind the ear. “You can let them in the training yard. It’s clean and ready for use. I’m just surprised you’re ready to be here.”
They moved into the indoor training yard. The large space was filled with agility equipment placed strategically throughout. Against one wall was a set of cabinets that housed treats and toys; lining another was a row of benches with cubbyhole storage for the trainers and the handlers to use for their personal effects. She set the puppies down. Bella ran roughshod over the two rambunctious pups.
“We had a bit of trouble,” Shane told Sophie, who’d followed them into the yard. “Someone, presumably her brother, broke through the fence to spy on the condo late last night.”
Concern darkened Sophie’s gold-tinted eyes. “But you’re all okay?”
Gina nodded. “Yes. Shane and James and Bella and Hawk chased him off.” She couldn’t keep a shudder from rippling down her spine.
“The chief has called a meeting over at the station,” Shane said, his reluctance to leave obvious.
“It’s customary on the Monday after a training session ends for the chief to hand out the rookies’ new assigned police station,” Gina told him. The thought of Shane leaving bit into her, making her admit to herself she didn’t want him to go. Because he was protecting her. Not because she liked him.
Okay, she did like him, but her feelings didn’t go any deeper than that.
Shane’s green eyes grew troubled. “Right, but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you here.”
“Sophie’s armed,” Gina pointed out. “I’ll be fine. You go. Find out if anyone has found Marco.”
“Don’t worry, Shane,” Sophie added. “I’ll make sure the door is locked behind you.”
“You have your cell phone?” Shane asked Gina.
She tugged the device from the training pouch at her waist. “Right here. And you’re on speed dial. So is the station.”
“Maybe I should leave Bella with you,” Shane said.
As sweet as that offer was, she couldn’t let him. “She’s your partner, you can’t leave her behind,” Gina said. “I’ll be busy training Ricky and Lucy. We’ll be fine.”
She let out a soft whistle to draw the two puppies’ attention. They raced over. Ricky chewed on the laces of Shane’s black boots while Lucy sniffed the floor, following a scent toward the treat cabinet. Lucy obviously already had the instinct to track. Good.
Gina looked forward to working with her. It would take more effort, however, to figure out the correct specialty for Ricky. He seemed more inclined to chew and play than work. But she had high hopes for him.
Just as she did for Marco. Her heart ached with worry.
However, it’d be one to two years before any of the dogs were ready to begin the rigorous K-9 training demanded of the canine officer and his handler. First the pups needed to learn basic commands as well as potty training. As demonstrated when Ricky lifted his leg.
“Hey!” Shane exclaimed and jumped out of the way.
“I’ll mop up the mess,” Sophie said through suppressed laughter.
Shane shook his head and moved away from the puddle. “I’m glad Bella came with manners already in place.”
Gina scooped Ricky up. “He’ll learn. He’s still very young, you know. I hope someone finds Marco soon.”
“I talked to the chief this morning,” Shane told her. “He gave the vet a heads-up in case anyone brings Marco to her and sent Officer Donaldson out to search again.”
She was sure the veterinarian, Tanya Fowler, would be quick to act if anyone brought the lost little puppy to the veterinary clinic. “I’d like to help search for Marco.”
Shane shook his head. “We can’t risk you being out in the open. You’re safer here.”
Though he was right, it chafed that she had to be basically a prisoner in the training center until her brother was caught. She sighed. “You better get to your meeting.”
He nodded. “Lock the door behind me.”
She followed him to the training center exit.
He paused halfway out the door. Bella stopped next to him as she’d been taught to do. “I won’t be long.”
“We’ll be fine.” She waved him and Bella out. When she slid the lock in place, the noise echoed inside her head. For a second she had the strangest urge to run after Shane. His presence made her feel safe and cared for. Without him close, she felt exposed, vulnerable.
She was being ridiculous. She c
ouldn’t allow herself to become too reliant on him. He would be leaving for a new town, a life that didn’t include her.
Squaring her shoulders, she reminded herself there was no way Tim could get inside the training center. She was safe. And had a job to do.
Holding Ricky up at eye level, she stared into his dark eyes. “Okay, you, time to get busy. I have lots to teach you and your sister.”
* * *
Shane entered the Desert Valley police station to find the department’s secretary balancing a tray with a coffee carafe and a stack of hot cups in one hand and a laptop in the other.
“Here, let me,” he said, taking the tray. This wasn’t the first time he’d offered to help the woman who seemed to have a propensity to juggle many things at one time.
The quiet, plain woman smiled at him. “Thank you, Shane.”
He nodded and racked his brain for her name. “Is this for the rookies’ meeting?”
“Yes.” She gestured down the hall. “This way.”
He followed her to a conference room. Bella’s nails clicked on the tile floor beside him.
The secretary moved to a corner where there was a shelf. She opened her laptop and appeared ready to take notes.
After setting the tray on the conference table, Shane took the empty seat next to fellow rookie Tristan McKeller. His dog, a yellow Labrador named Jesse, who specialized in arson and accelerant detection, lay behind his chair. Bella mirrored the other five dogs already in the room by lying down behind Shane’s chair.
“Hey,” Shane said to Tristan.
“Morning,” the former soldier greeted him and then reached for a cup and the carafe. Tristan’s tall, muscular frame dwarfed the chair. He wore his brown hair military short. There was no mistaking the worry in his blue eyes. Shane didn’t know the full extent of Tristan’s story but did know he was raising his teen sister, which was why he’d rented a small house for the duration of their training.
The chief walked in. On his heels was a diminutive woman in a tailored charcoal-colored pantsuit. She wore horn-rimmed glasses over intense dark brown eyes and her auburn hair was cut short at her strong jaw.