by Rana Demiriz
“Of course the Zathef council punished her. They cursed her, but I can’t speak of the details. Because if I said it out loud, it would change the natural balance of the words.”
That was another rule she taught us. She would always pick her words carefully, and she would never talk about the profound subjects of the Zathef laws. She kept on explaining. “Alejandro’s mother foresaw something before she died, and the moment she said it out loud, she made a prophecy. Or, in other words, she made a curse. However, it was also forbidden by the Zathef council to talk about the curse.”
“Why the Zathef council didn’t break the curse?” Carmela said with an annoyingly calm and reasonable voice.
“Zathefs knew everything, and they tried hard to keep everything in order. In fact, they are still trying. Zathefs are the protectors of the balance. That’s why they were acting as if nothing happened when you look from outside.”
The image of my angelic mother that I remembered was shattered. The woman I’ve always looked up to, admired, and remembered; the woman who loved my father to death was suddenly gone. After everything I had heard, I was disgusted by her. How could anyone be disgusted by their mother? I was so ashamed. I didn’t think I could call her my mother anymore. Not after she destroyed two families.
“What about Alejandro?” asked Aida.
“Actually, I don’t know what they did to him. Zathefs were supposed to keep him away from us. I don’t have much information. I’m just an ordinary Azurite. I heard most of these afterward.”
“Then, why did you deceive us with a fake story for all these years?” asked Carmela.
Yes. I was also wondering that.
“Your mother would have wanted that. It’s just that she was so ashamed by everything she did to your family that she didn’t want you to know the truth. Yet, she wasn’t aware of the…” she paused. She slipped too much information from her mouth.
“She wasn’t aware of what?” I asked. She took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling. She tried to organize her thoughts for a few seconds. She looked at us once again.
“The curse…” she said. “She wasn’t aware of what was going to happen.”
“What does this curse have anything to do with us?” asked Carmela.
“You are missing the point here, girls. That night you were also in the house, but she didn’t kill you. Don’t you think that’s odd?”
“You just said that she had something else in her mind for us.”
“Yes. The only thing that you are supposed to know about the curse is that it concerns you too. That night, after killing everyone, she came to your rooms. I was there too, trying to keep you all together. She looked at you and said, ‘I’ll spare you tonight because I still have some conscience left. However, you will all pay for the curse that hangs over my family. Your mother destroyed my baby’s life, and I will return the favor. When that day comes, my revenge will be taken, and I will be responsible for what’s going to happen. ” After thinking a while, she said, “Yes, that’s exactly what she said.”
Carmen told us a lot of things. Usually, she wouldn’t talk this much, and she would prefer to avoid our questions about our past. I thought everything became clear, but I was wrong.
“Why don’t I remember this?” asked Lana.
“The Zathef council,” said Carmen, “you were not supposed to remember this, so they did what needs to be done.”
“But what about that day, which she was talking about Carmen? I mean… What are we going to do? What was Rio talking about? He said we were supposed to choose a side.” I said.
Carmen was acting mysterious again. “I can’t explain the prophecy. If it is real, then you are all going to have to learn it in a hard way. However, if it’s not real, then, by that time, you will have been left with the truth of your past, and I will have betrayed my best friend for nothing, and finally, that woman will have been wrong for the first time about her prophecy. Prey girls, prey for the prophecy to be wrong.
She looked at me when she said the last part. I, on the other hand, was gazing at her in astonishment. We were all sitting there with the same puzzled expression on our faces.
“You should at least tell which day it is. You owe us that much,” said Carmela. She raised her voice rebelliously.
Because Carmen was trying to say something she actually shouldn’t, her eye color started changing. They were probably trying to stop her from saying what has been forbidden, but she was determined to speak. No one else seemed to suspect anything, but I felt that she was more than just an ordinary Azurite. She was a messenger whose duty was to inform us when the time came. And now she was doing her last task: She was telling what she knew.
When her eyes stopped changing, she gulped and opened her mouth. “The War of Light and Darkness…” she said with difficulty.
CHAPTER 4
I thought she was going to say something like ‘plague’ or ‘famine’. I was wrong. I didn’t expect to hear ‘war’. And even if I did, this ’war’ would interest other people, not us.
Lana, Carmela, and I were giving each other frightened looks. Sophia was still confused, and Carmen’s eyes were just turning back to normal. Aida was so afraid that her breathing was irregular. For someone her age, the word ’war’ must have been very intimidating. It was pretty scary, even for us. What was next? How should we interpret Carmen’s words? Between the silence which took over the house and our wandering thoughts, the phone’s ringing caused us to jump in our seats. Our minds were filled with the worst possible scenarios. With that panicked look in our faces, we turned to Carmen. She was also thinking of the worst. Sophia cleared her throat.
“Richard is calling. He says he is worried about you. He wants to know if everyone is okay.”
I was relieved. I wasn’t exactly expecting Alejandro or Zathefs to phone me. Bad guys don’t call before they come. Lana rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen. She answered the insistently ringing phone while she headed upstairs.
“Richard, darling… Yes, thanks to Sophia. We’re all fine. You don’t need to worry about me… I missed you too…” As she climbed the stairs, her voice became more distant. We didn’t want to hear them anyway. Lana and Richard had a pretty much ordinary relationship. Even though they respect and love each other, they were not madly in love. They were engaged and planning to get married this summer. Richard knew we were Azurites, and he was also one of us. We were not allowed to marry anyone but our own clan.
In order not to upset or frighten us any further, Carmen took advantage of the silence and went to prepare us breakfast. She was occupying herself with something to escape facing reality. Of course, we all had our own responsibilities. Could we also avoid reality by running errands? Would it be more comfortable for us to get over our family’s dark past or the fact that our own mother didn’t choose us? For example, as it was the end of the term, my finals bothered me a lot. When I didn’t see nightmares during the rare hours, I was trying to build up my strength. I wonder what grade I would get for writing our mother’s story in an exam instead of interpreting a complex Renaissance painting.
Sophia and Carmela got up from their seats simultaneously, which broke my line of thoughts. They went upstairs to get ready for the new day. Aida must have been exhausted because of everything she heard. I leaned over her side and caressed her hair.
“Our questions will not be answered anytime soon, so go and get some sleep.” I touched the purple circles under her eyes.
“I’m so sorry you had to hear all the things.” She raised her head and looked into my eyes.
“You know what? Until today, I’ve always thought you were able to remember my mother. I’ve never known her, but I don’t feel sad about that anymore. Maybe I was the lucky one all along.”
She got up and went to her room to sleep. What could I say? She had a point. I sighed. It was not a good idea for me to be alone with myself. I could neither control my thoughts nor my emotions. I would not let my fear take contro
l of me. I needed to think. Another time, I promised myself. I was going to think about what happened, weigh Carmen’s words, and only then I was going to decide how I feel about this. It was a defense mechanism for me to stay sane.
I decided to go to the kitchen. Carmen was waiting beside the toaster. After I passed by her, I opened the fridge and took whatever touched my hand first. It was milk. Maybe it was the best thing for me right now. I poured it into a pot and put it on the stove. While I was waiting for the milk to warm up, I spread some of those ‘magnificently high calorie’ chocolate creams on the toasted slices of bread that Carmen prepared for us. Even without the milk, I surely needed the chocolate. I felt better when the chocolate reached my stomach. I almost felt that my senses and my perception got sharper. Before all the problems I’d been avoiding flooded back to bother me, I decided to focus on a different matter. I peeked over my shoulder. Carmela was cutting the bread into thick slices with her back turned to me. While I poured the milk into my mug, I decided to get straight to the point.
“Carmen I… I don’t know how to say this but… I know you are not one of us.”
The cutting sound has stopped for a moment. It was such a short pause that I couldn’t even count to three in my head. Then Carmela kept on cutting the bread at the same pace. She didn’t even lift her head from the counter. Maybe she was worried for others to hear, but I had already kept my voice so low. Besides, everybody was in their rooms upstairs.
Just when I thought she wasn’t going to talk, she sighed. “I know Mia,” She said.
This made me hesitate for a moment.
“What do you mean?” I asked, surprised.
She peeked at me over her shoulder. And then, as if it was the most important thing in the world, she turned her back to me to put the toasted bread on a plate. I took a sip from my warm milk.
“I’m aware that you know I’m a… Messenger...”
Hearing the truth from her reminded me of the severity of the situation. As long as she didn’t say the words, I could pretend that it wasn’t real, but m Azurite talents would never deceive me. Being a messenger meant that once she fulfilled her purpose, she was going to leave, vanish entirely from the world. We had to pretend like she never existed. It meant that we, including her daughter Rosa, would eventually have to accept that fact. Nobody knew she came to this world with such a difficult task, and once that task was done, she would be gone. It was going to be like losing my mother all over again. I couldn’t handle that. After my mom was gone, Carmen became my world. She trained us and loved us as if we were her own. Perhaps she was even more nurturing than our birth mother. The word ‘mother’ no longer had the same meaning to me. From now on, the person who I remembered as my mother was nothing more than my biological parent. She gave birth to me, maybe she even loved me, but what she did…
“Mia, I wouldn’t want you to find out like that. I know you’ve been through a lot this morning, but I need you to prepare yourself for even worse…”
She couldn’t finish her sentence. Her eyes started changing again. Apparently, what she was about to say was forbidden by Zathefs because she was being blocked. I was never going to find out the truth.
“No, I have to say this… I will… Don’t stop me… She needs to know…” She was talking to herself. I had never witnessed anything like that before.
Once again, I was afraid. My body involuntarily tensed. In case of any danger, I was ready to take action.
Carmen fell on her knees, and she gripped the knife’s handle so tight that her knuckles went white. Her eyes suddenly went black. They were incredibly black and familiar… She hurled the bread knife at me.
“You’re too curious, Mia… But curiosity killed the cat, and you already know too much. Beware!” he said through Carmen’s lips. I was afraid to say his name. I couldn’t believe what he did to Carmen just in a few seconds! If he could do this to a messenger, who knew what he would do to me, to us?
“Carmen, please get a hold of yourself. Please put that knife down.”
She was still waving the knife around.
“Carmen? Please, you’re scaring me!” I yelled, but she wasn’t listening to me. She seemed to be fighting herself. I winced with a sudden noise behind my back. The sweet scent of milk started to spread through the kitchen. I must have broken the mug. Only then I realized that I was leaning too hard against the counter.
I didn’t know what to do. I was thinking of different ways to snap Carmen out of this situation, and I did what I had to do. I took a deep breath and attacked her when she least expected it. I punched her right eye. I figured it would stun her a little bit, but when she hurled the knife at me once again, I realized it didn’t work.
“Leave her alone, Alejandro!” I screamed at Carmen’s face. The knife found its target, and it made a thin, long wound on my arm. I flinched back with a sharp pain. The coppery smell of blood blended in with the sweet scent of milk. Even though the wound didn’t hurt that bad, blood was dripping on the beige carpet.
Even so, I grabbed her left arm. I grabbed one of the fruit knives from the counter, and I wounded her. It wasn’t a comeback; I was planning to do this all along. I thought that the smell of the blood and the pain would clear her mind.
Suddenly, she threw the bread knife out of her hand. She stared at me with those pitch-black eyes. Then she dropped her eyes to the floor again and held her head between her hands. I think she was regaining consciousness. I involuntarily took a few steps back. I turned my back at the kitchen door because if plan A wouldn’t work, plan B was to run like hell.
She suddenly got up as nothing happened. Her eyes were turning back to blue. Thank God! It was a good sign. She turned to me.
“Mia, I don’t know what happened to me. Oh, God! What happened to your arm? Did I do that? I’m so sorry, Mia. I wasn’t in my right mind.” I breathed a sigh of relief and went to her.
“What about you? I hurt you too. I think you were in some kind of trance.”
I was freaked out by what just happened. After the effect of adrenaline had passed and my muscles began aching, I remembered that we needed to talk. Death was only a matter of time now.
With a sudden rush of rage, I went to close the kitchen door.
“What the hell is going on, Carmen? You were almost going to kill me. Come on. Tell me. I’m waiting.”
Meanwhile, the blood was still dripping on the floor from our wounds.
“First, we need to tend to our wounds. Sit here,” Carmen said, pointing towards the chairs around the tables. She reached for the first aid kit, which was on the top of the fridge, and then she put it on the table. I sat on a chair. I was still waiting for her to start talking. I was patient. Much too patient…
She bandaged my arm in silence, and then I returned the favor. She stood up and started to collect the broken pieces of glass and began wiping up the milk, which poured all over the counter. Her back was turned to me. Just when I was going to say how much more we had to wait, she unexpectedly started speaking. “The Zathefs tried to stop me before I could tell you what I wanted to tell.”
Just when I opened my mouth to talk, she shushed me with her hand. “Because of my role as a messenger, I know too much. That’s why they’re trying to control my mind. They’re constantly telling me that it’s not the right time. They’re interfering because I’ve already said too much today.”
“So, is it always like this? Do you turn into some kind of a monster whenever you say too much?”
“Not exactly. That’s not what happened a little while ago. “Carmen paused for a moment, then kept talking.
“I guess I can explain this; when I am in contact with the Zathefs, my brain is vulnerable and open to everyone. This means that if a person has enough power, he or she can break into my mind. That’s what happened just now. While Zathefs were trying to control me… He came.”
She didn’t say his name. I already knew, and I didn’t want to hear it out loud. However, I was still confused a
bout the whole mind control thing. After she threw out the broken glass pieces, she turned to me. “It’s almost like crosstalk, hearing part of a voice conversation from another circuit on your phone,” she said, and I giggled involuntarily at this weird example.
“Well, it’s not exactly like that, but still, it feels a bit like a mind rape.”
We both laughed bitterly. She poured me another glass of milk. The milk was warm because I completely forgot to put it back in the fridge after I drank it the last time. I took another sip of my milk.
“Don’t you have school today?” she asked. That was the Carmen I knew. She started to play “the responsible mother” again as if nothing had happened.
“It’s Saturday. Besides, this is the last week of the term.”
She put the dishcloth aside. “Look, Mia, I’m really sorry.” It took me a while to figure out what she was talking about because of the sudden subject change. She was looking at my wounded arm with a painful look in her eyes.
“This wasn’t your fault. Besides, I’m sorry too.” I said, remorsefully.
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t answer all your questions.”
“It’s not a big deal,” I said, lying to her. In fact, it was a huge deal, but I didn’t want to upset her more than she already was. There was no need for that yet.
“For now, let’s just keep this between us, Mia. You already know too much.”
She was talking about that messenger issue. If that’s what she wanted, I could respect that. “However you wish. I don’t know how much time you got left. But, the sooner you tell this to others, the easier it will be for them to get used to it.”
After a long pause, I sighed. She looked at me. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I said, and as soon as I opened my mouth, I yawned.
“Mia, honey, you look so tired. Why don’t you go and try to have some sleep.”
“I’m afraid to have the same nightmare again,” I said with such honesty that it even surprised me.
“He cannot enter your dreams in the day time. He takes his power from the darkness.” She couldn’t finish her sentence and bit her lip. “I think it’s time for me to stop talking,” she said.