by Rana Demiriz
“You’re not going to scream when I let you go!” he said. I frantically nodded. I was going to die. Damn it!
He slowly took his hands off of me and got up. My cough echoed in the room. I was rubbing my neck and coughing vigorously at the same time. I straightened up in a sudden motion. He was standing in front of the room with his back turned to me.
“I want you at breakfast!”
His cold voice filled the room, and then he shut the door. I was still rubbing my neck. I realized I was shaking. My sobs got stuck in my throat. Tears were streaming down my eyes. I got up and held on to one of the bedposts, but I couldn’t stand still and slid down to the floor as I was still shaking. I pressed my hand against my mouth to stifle my sobs, but it was getting harder every second. He was the reason why I was in such a miserable state: The Master of Darkness. Yes, I admit that I was afraid of him more than anything because I knew he could kill me if he wanted to. He just proved me right. It was the closest moment I got to death. I nearly reunited with my parents. But what about my sisters? What would happen to them once I died? How could Aida go to school? Who would Sophia tease, and who would be there for Carmela when she needed a friend the most? Who would Lana scold? Who would be their bridesmaid on their wedding days? Who would fill the place of Auntie Mia when they had children? How would they find out if I died? Would they visit my grave every Sunday, or would I be a memory for them to smile upon? Whoever kills me must bring my body back to my family. At least, I deserved a grave.
Speaking of death… I felt the cold breath of death on my back once again, and I was going to die at Alejandro’s hands the way thing stood…
The day had just begun, and who knew what was going to happen next?
CHAPTER 19
For a long time, I thought about going to breakfast and how it would be. How was I supposed to behave? Was I going to do what he said or follow his orders to be more precise? Was I supposed to ignore him and yet keep calm? In any case, I had to hold my tongue because he was so angry. He was keeping an eye on me. A tiny little mistake could trigger him. I wonder what he would do if I attempted to run? It was impossible here in the underground, but I wasn’t going to give up that easily. He couldn’t kill me no matter what I did. He needed me, at least until the war is over.
And there was Rio. The same goes for him. He could always turn out to be as horrible as Alejandro, but he seemed good for now, and it was against the rules. He had to be good. I couldn’t even imagine he could do such horrible deeds as his brother.
I kept struggling with my own thoughts for a while. No matter how hard I tried to put the pieces together, it just didn’t feel right. It was all like a big part of a puzzle with one major difference: None of the pieces fit. They were all unaligned. I couldn’t make head or tail of it no matter how hard I tried.
I pulled myself together. I checked myself in the mirror. I rubbed my aching head for a while. I fixed my hair, and I was ready. Well, at least physically. Was I mentally ready to face him? Even if I wasn’t, it didn’t change the situation I was in or that I had to go down for breakfast. So, I decided on my behavior. I couldn’t swallow my pride. I just wouldn’t. I squared my shoulders and opened the door. The first thing I saw was Simon’s face. He looked at me confusedly and gathered himself to make way for me.
“I want to go to breakfast,” I said with a prideful voice. He nodded.
“Of course. I’m ready to escort you.”
I exhaled loudly. “I can go to breakfast by myself, Simon, just show me the way.”
He turned his eyes away. “I’m sorry, but my master doesn’t want you to go to wander alone.”
I took a step towards him and raised my voice. “Are you trying to call me a sheep? Do I look like one?”
He took a step back. “No… No, I would never…”
It was time to take control. “Can’t I go to breakfast alone? Do I need a shepherd?”
He tried to calm me down by raising his hands. “No, ma’am. You don’t.”
I crossed my hands. “Well, then show me the way.”
“Maybe I could still come along?” he said with a last hope.
I smiled at him charmingly. His eyes got bigger. I think he seemed enchanted. Interesting. “Where is breakfast?” I asked for the last time. My voice came out higher. He gulped.
“T-t-t-that way,” he said, pointing towards a direction. I smiled again.
“Thanks, Simon. You’re a good kid.” He smiled pleasantly. He seemed happy to help me. I didn’t know my smile had that kind of effect. So, I guess it was going to be a much powerful weapon for me.
I walked towards the door, all prideful with my head held high. I must have looked like Anne Boleyn, walking confidently towards the scaffold. I opened the door while I still had my courage, fearing that I might change my mind. An enormously large table came into view. It was one of those tables fit for palaces with carved lions on its foot. I could probably serve up to twenty-four people but only had two high back chairs on each side. The golden sequin tablecloth was glistening softly under the dim light. The entire table wasn’t filled with breakfast food; there were only two servings on both ends. I examined the room. There were nineteenth-century oil paintings with big, golden elaborate frames hanging on the walls. The wallpapers were wine red, which darkened the room, which already had no windows. The room was only illuminated by a few crystal appliqués mounted on the walls and three candlesticks on the table. When all was considered, it was hard to say that this was a breakfast table. The dining room was on the border of being gothic.
I realized I have been standing on the threshold as Alejandro coughed a few times. He was waiting for me patiently. I couldn’t tell anything by his perfectly handsome face. Half of his face was covered in darkness. I tried to gather myself up. I straightened my shoulders again. I tried to wriggle myself out of the faint-heartedness and become the prideful woman I have always been, and I think I did pretty well. I walked towards the opposite end of the table without saying a word. My high-heeled boots made rhythmical sounds on the marble floor. I sat right across him. All the breakfast food that was prepared for me was still fresh and warm. There were many of my favorite foods like honey, tea, and freshly baked bread. When I looked carefully, I noticed that he only had a cup and nothing else. He was sitting on his chair, following me with his eyes.
“Your coffee is getting cold.”
His voice was emotionless enough that I couldn’t understand if he was being sarcastic or angry or anything at all. Instead of answering, I took a sip from my coffee. It was really cold.
“I think it’s just fine,” I said. I held my fork and knife to cut my cheese, but my hands were trembling like a leaf on a morning breeze. Damn it! I couldn’t help it. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and reached for my cheese again, but it was no use. I was still shaking and just too nervous.
“Mia?” Alejandro called my name, and at the same time, I dropped my knife on the table.
He carefully examined the knife. He didn’t even sound angry. I was sinking down further every second, and it was not okay. He was supposed to be afraid of me because I was furious with him, but he wasn’t that calm either—an angry Master of Darkness versus an angry Divine Being. I wondered who would win. I got a feeling that he would.
“Yes?” I said. I was trying to hide how I dropped my knife and how scared and nervous I was even though the sound echoed through the room.
“I guess I made my point earlier then. For a moment, I thought you didn’t get how serious I was when you were late.” He was talking about how he nearly choked me in the bedroom. I interrupted him.
“Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?” My voice came out resentful, distant, serious, and prideful, just like I wanted.
“Surprising, but yes,” he said thoughtfully. I got back to my breakfast. My hands were less shaky now because my voice didn’t betray me for the last twenty seconds. “I know you fight well. After all, I experienced it first hand,” he said. I tried to
kick him in the face in one of my dreams, and it was a flying one. But what did it have to do with anything right now?
I nodded and then looked into his eyes for a while. I tried to figure out why he mentioned that. He went on speaking just as I lifted the fork to my lips. “Today, I’m going to teach you how to fight with a sword,” he said, and this time, I dropped my fork to the floor.
“Why?” I asked when I finally pulled myself together. I didn’t bend down to get the fork because, for some reason, I wanted to keep an eye on him.
“Because you need to learn how to protect yourself. The people you’re going to face in the war are old school warriors, and it means that they use swords.”
I sat so straight on my chair that a sharp pain shoot through my back. “That’s not necessary. I can protect myself.”
“Yes, I just saw that.” He was being sarcastic and didn’t intend to stop. “I guess my job will be hard,” he said.
I squinted. Did he imply that I would fail? If he wanted me to become a swords master, even Beatrix Kiddo from Kill Bill was going to be jealous of me once my training is over.
“Okay then,” I said, but then I remembered what I was wearing. I couldn’t fight with a skirt. “I’d like to request thirty minutes of privacy to change my clothes.”
The overly politeness in my voice was getting into his nerves. The tension on the corners of his lips gave him away. Actually, I think he should have been glad that my words were irritating him. If even my words disturbed him this much, what would my sword do? I was sure he knew that.
“Of course.”
I patted my lips with my napkin as if I ate too much. I pushed my chair back and left the room. I could feel Alejandro’s eyes on my whole body, starting from the back of my neck. All his attention was on me. If I attempted to run right now, he could find me by the rattle of my shoes. Did I amuse him?
After the rattling of my shoes, I closed the door of Alejandro’s room; actually, it is not closing but slamming because I intended him to hear it.
While it was the last moments of my thirty minutes, I was still turning the insides out of the room-sized closet. I just wanted a damn pair of pants! But everything I found was leather. The fabric clothes were either shirts or skirts. I had never seen Alejandro in leather pants. Why all of the women’s clothes were leather?
I grabbed the most ‘decent’ pair of pants. It was completely black leather. Would you rather fight in leather pants or in a fabric skirt? I didn’t have much time, so I chose the leather pants. I don’t even remember how I managed to get into those pants. My damn boots and pants were squeaking. Even though I couldn’t find any flat shoes, the boots fit me like a glove. I quickly checked myself in the mirror. I was definitely looking like Eva and even the Darkness… I turned my eyes right away. When I left the room, Simon’s eyes widened. Did I look that horrible?
“Where is Alejandro, Simon?” I asked. He was gaping at me. He didn’t seem to hear my question. I smiled. His pupils grew big. Now, he was looking at me like he was about to faint. He pointed towards a door because he seemed to forget how to talk. A door I’ve never opened before. “Thanks, Simon.”
He just nodded. I could feel his eyes on my back as I walked down the corridor noisily. Of course, his look didn’t give me creeps, unlike Alejandro.
I knocked even though it wasn’t probably necessary. He must have heard the rattling of my shoes long before I arrived. No one answered. I pushed open the door and stepped inside. It was a study room. The same concept as the dining room was applied here: Dark colors, dark wood furniture, and leather seats.
Eva was standing right across the table with her usual assassin chick look. Alejandro was probably sitting at the table, but I couldn’t see him because Eva was blocking the view.
Eva looked over her shoulders to see who it was. When she saw me, she stepped aside, looking all surprised. And then I saw Alejandro. His wide eyes were watching me with a mixture of pride and appreciation. There was a crooked smile on his face. I didn’t smile. He must have known that I didn’t wear these voluntarily.
“I’m ready, let’s fight,” I said.
I was glad my voice showed my reluctance. He ignored me. He was just focused on how pleased he was. “Very well, follow me.”
He got up from the table. He was walking on the corridor gracefully. I kept watching him for a while. His body was definitely so beautiful. His shirt was tight enough that his muscles were visible under the dim light. His beautiful hair was a dark chestnut halo around his head, touching his shoulders in soft waves and it was turning black from time to time like it was caressed by darkness. I gave my attention to what was happening rather than him.
He stood before a double-wing door. He opened the door to a huge empty room. There wasn’t any furniture or windows inside. The walls were wine red, and the floor was black marble. The natural white patterns on the black marble were lost in the dark. When Eva switched a button behind us, a small chandelier in the middle of the room flared. Only then could I realize that the white veins on the black marble floor turned silver, glistening from place to place and reflecting light.
Alejandro got back with two swords; I could not understand where he found them. They were real. One of them had rubies and emeralds on its hilt, and the other one had gold carvings. They both looked so beautiful. He offered me the golden carved one with its hilt turned towards me.
“Do you have enough trust to give me a sword?” I asked.
“No,” he said without hesitating in a monotone, authoritarian manner. He didn’t regret saying it or got angry. He simply expressed that he didn’t trust me. I smiled, trying to hide I was hurt.
“The feeling is mutual,” I said. He didn’t care. I guess he felt compelled to explain his harsh answer earlier.
“I’ll teach you how to protect yourself. I hope you won’t abuse it,”
I didn’t answer. Instead, I said, “Come on, let’s start. This is getting boring,” I said.
I took the sword he offered, and it was very heavy. It was so hard to hold it in one hand. I tightened my grip and lifted up the sword to avoid being humiliated by dropping the sword the moment I hold it. I could see my own reflection on the steel part. The sword seemed magnificent.
When I took my eyes off the sword, our eyes met with Eva. She was alert because I had a sword. Even if Alejandro was skeptical, he didn’t give away anything. But I knew I was an angel of death with a sword in their eyes; an angel of death in leather pants. They knew I could charge at them if I wanted to. Even though I didn’t know anything about swords, I had solid training in martial arts. I could do that, but I was also still scared of Alejandro since he tried to strangle me this morning. There was no escape from here. If we would get in a fight with Alejandro, he would definitely win. I wouldn’t even offer to fight Eva. So, I lowered my sword. Eve seemed relaxed, and Alejandro raised his eyebrows. I guess he was sure I was going to attack. They were both on guard against me. God… I wanted to burst into laughter.
“Thank you, Eva. You may leave now. Go upstairs and find out what’s been going on in the grand hall,” said Alejandro. Eva hesitated. She didn’t want to leave us alone. Especially when I was this silent with a sword in my hand… Alejandro saw her hesitant eyes.“Go upstairs, Eva,” said Alejandro once more. This time Eva nodded slightly and got out of the room. She intentionally left the door open. Alejandro noticed that. He closed the door hard enough for her to hear. And now we were standing against each other in the gloomy, morgue like room with swords in our hands.
He walked across the room, and I stood right across him. “Do you know how to hold a sword?” he asked. I guess at this point, it was not a shame not to know; what was bad is not asking.
“I guess, no.”
He didn’t do anything condescending. He walked up to me and stood right in front of me. He grasped the hilt with both hands, and he lifted the sword to his right side with its tip pointing towards the back. His knees were slightly bent. “This is the
defense position or the starting position.”
“I think…” Before I could finish, he grabbed my arm. He helped me position my arm.
“Yes, bend your knees slightly and lean forward… No, not that much. Okay, that’s it,” he said. He stood right across me and examined my posture. I saw his shoulders were slightly shaking. He was laughing.
“Do I really look that ridiculous? I asked hopelessly. I tried to adjust my position so I could be more comfortable. I got the hang of the defense position.
“No, you seem…” He stopped laughing and got more serious.“You seem pretty wild,” he said.
I smiled at this description unintentionally. “What’s next?”
He shifted his sword from one hand to the other. God, he was like Zorro. “The rest is up to your instincts. What do you want to do?”
I thought about it for a while. He was standing before me all dangerous with his sword decorated with rubies and emeralds. “To rip out your heart and set it on fire and to carve out your lungs and feed them to dogs,” I said all this in such an ordinary voice that you would think it was my routine.
Alejandro smiled provokingly. “What’s holding you back? Come, and do it!”
I charged at him with a scream. I must have looked like a primitive woman, going after prey with an axe. I thought I caught him off guard, but he was prepared for everything as usual. I was waving my sword in the air without a clue, but every time I thrust at him, our sword clashed. The sound of steel on steel echoed through the room. I felt the tip of his sword on my throat just in seconds. I lowered my sword and looked at him. I was panting, and so was he. The sound of steel could no longer be heard, only the gasping noises. The tip of his sword was still on my throat.
“Are you thinking about reopening the wound you made?” I said breathlessly. He laughed and put his sword down.