“Most of it,” Julianna agreed.
“Then what do you want?”
“Do you mind if I come in?”
The older woman looked at her with a sharp eye. For a moment Julianna could see a type of fear in her eyes. Did she believe Julianna had come to harm her?
“I’d like to return your key.”
Leona stepped back and Julianna preceded her into the living room. The place was the same, except there were dirty dishes and glasses on the coffee table. Keeping the place clean had been Julianna’s duty.
She sat down on the sofa. Leona took the chair facing her. Julianna opened her purse and laid the door key on the table.
“I’m sorry about the way I left,” Julianna began. “I should have come to you and told you. I appreciate that you took me in when I needed help, but you made me pay for it over and over again.”
“I did not make you pay.”
“I don’t want to argue about it,” Julianna said. “I appreciate what you did for me that day.” She paused, looking directly at Leona.
“You looked like a wet kitten that day.”
Julianna smiled. She still felt like a wet kitten, but she was drying. Julianna stood up.
“That’s all I wanted to say.” She went to the door.
Leona got up and followed her. Julianna,” she called as Julianna reached the door.
“Don’t let ‘um beat you down,” she said. There was a slight lifting at the corners of her mouth.
“I won’t,” she said. And Julianna meant it. For the first time she thought she could handle her own.
Out on the street, she looked up at the high-rise buildings. Her mother would be proud of her. She’d grown up a lot in the last couple of years and going back to Leona and doing what she did, made her feel less like a coward and more like an adult.
More like her mother. She smiled and headed for the bus stop. For the first time in her life, Julianna didn’t think that was a bad thing.
Chapter 7
Chicago’s bright lights and distinctive skyline reflected off the windows as Rhys drove to the restaurant at the Pier. Lisa felt like Cinderella on her way to a ball, breathless with anticipation, her eyes and smile wide, as if she were seeing the world for the first time. She’d scattered her bedroom with clothes try to decide what to wear. Although she’d met him several times, this was still a first date.
First dates implied a want to impress someone. She’d asked herself if she wanted to impress Rhys or if she wanted to try and remove her previous impression. Finally deciding on a burnt orange dress and complementing it with a long green and gold floral scarf, she was ready when Rhys pulled into the driveway.
They were on their way to the much refused dinner that Rhys had constantly asked her to attend. After he’d rescued her from herself in the bar and given her a place to sleep it off, Lisa couldn’t refuse his invitation to have dinner with him. She thought they’d go to a local restaurant, but Rhys had given her the name of a wonderful restaurant right on the Lake Michigan.
The lights were low and designed to set the right mood. However, unease settled on Lisa the moment Rhys took her arm and escorted her into the crowded room. Eyes from everywhere ruffled on her. Rhys leaned close and spoke in her ear. “You’re the most beautiful woman here.”
Lisa didn’t feel beautiful. She felt as if every eye in the restaurant was staring at her, assessing her worthiness to be here, wondering what it was about her that gave her access to this privileged place. The waiter sat them at a table near the center of the room. Lisa looked at a more secluded table, but said nothing and accepted the chair the waiter held for her. She smiled quickly at him and tried to forget the stares.
“You are the most beautiful woman here,” Rhys assured her.
“I don’t think that’s why people are staring at us.”
“If I were out with you, I’d stare. You look like a queen.”
Lisa laughed despite herself. She accepted the large menu from the waiter and buried her face in deciding what to order. She’d known from the beginning that dating Rhys would cause people to stare at them. Interracial couples were so prevalently visible these days. They weren’t a novelty. Television, books, art. Everywhere you looked there were mixed races. So why did she feel people were looking at them for reasons other than the one Rhys had proposed? They weren’t fictional characters. This wasn’t a book or a television program. They were the real live evidence of a changing perspective. And in all areas of human life people resisted change.
Shrugging off thoughts of other couples and their silent opinions or her and Rhys, she ordered dinner and gave her attention to the man at her table.
“So now that we’ve talked about all the things we were going to talk about at dinner, what are we going to talk about?”
Rhys smiled. Lisa’s heart did something she could only describe as trilled. Rhys wore a dark blue suit, powder blue shirt and a striped tie. But more than clothes his eyes twinkled and he looked genuinely pleased.
“How’s the job hunt going?” he asked.
She frowned. “Not good. I’d rather not talk about that.” In the week since she’d become unemployed, she’d gone to an outplacement service and began relearning how to do a resume and how to begin looking for a new position. Lisa hadn’t thought she’d have to ever do this again. Having worked for Braddock so long, her contacts with colleagues outside of the close environment was small. Outplacement was helping her realize she could expand that network, but her prospects weren’t good right now.
The waiter brought their drinks and she took a sip of her mimosa. “Tell me, do you like being a judge?”
“It has its moments.” He smiled. Lisa noticed the crinkle around his eyes. In her own face, she’d applied creams to rid herself of unwanted wrinkles. On Rhys, the tiny lines were distinguished, giving his face a trusting character. He looked like someone who would be fair, weighing the evidence before making a decision. She liked that about him.
“Do you have aspirations of being on the Supreme Court?”
He chuckled. “I’m a long way and many levels below the positions I’d have to go through before being considered for the court, if a seat opened.”
“But you have thought of it?”
He nodded. “I don’t know any judge who doesn’t wonder what it would be like to be chosen for such a glorified position. Didn’t you think of being president of Braddock Pharmaceuticals?”
She smiled suspiciously. “Not president. Senior Vice President of one of the divisions. I felt I could do the job better than some of the guys in those positions.”
But now, she thought. Now she had no chance of that happening. Going to a new position meant starting all over again, learning the politics, becoming familiar with the major players and how they fit into the mix. All of that took time and energy. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to do it.
But what choice did she have?
“I’m sure you could. Give yourself some time. The perfect job is out there. I’m sure you’ll find it.”
Upper management positions didn’t come that often, Lisa thought. And sometimes the person needed to be willing to relocate. How would Julianna ever find them if they moved?
Lisa lifted her glass, pushing that thought aside. She didn’t want to mar her evening with the tailspin of thoughts that Julianna’s absence brought to her. And Rhys was unaware of her missing daughter. He knew about her twins in college, but not about her runaway. Lisa didn’t know why she’d kept it a secret. Only that she wasn’t ready to trust him with that aspect of her life.
“Rhys, is that you?” Both of their heads turned at the question. Coming toward them was a man and a woman. Rhys stood up. The woman went into his arms and he kissed her on the cheek. She was dressed elegantly. Lisa recognized quality fabrics when she saw them. And the dress had all the earmarks of a designer label.
The man shook hands with Rhys. The two were about the same age and height. Only the man wore a super expensive Arm
ani suit. He had the well tailored look of wealth. Together they made the perfect Vogue/GQ couple.
“Piper, Grant,” Rhys said, with a welcoming smile. “It’s been a long time.”
“To long,” the woman said.
Rhys turned to her. “Lisa, this is Grant and Piper Saxton. Piper is my sister-in-law. She and Grant own a real estate company.”
Lisa recognized Saxton Realty. They had their logo on signs in some of the best neighborhoods. And by the way they were dressed, they had to be doing well.
“It’s good to meet you,” Piper said. Her husband nodded.
Lisa lifted her hand to take Piper’s and Grant’s in succession. Both hands were warm and firm.
“I didn’t know you two were back from Greece,” Rhys continued.
“We got in a couple of days ago,” Grant said. “Digging through the work in the office hasn’t let any time for socializing.”
“Even tonight we’re meeting clients,” Piper said. “They’re from Texas and are moving up here in a few months.” She looked toward the maître ‘d who was waiting to finishing escorting them to their table. “Otherwise, we’d join you.”
“Honey, I think Rhys wants to be alone.” Grant looked at her and a wave of embarrassment fissured up her spine. Lisa’s cheeks grew warm and he heart pounded.
“Well, anyway, it’s good to see you. We’ll have to get together soon.”
Rhys nodded. They moved away, but Piper looked back. Rhys resumed his seat.
Lisa had begun to relax after thoughts about the stares abated. Now she was back to feeling self-conscious. Suddenly she wondered why Rhys had come all the way into Chicago to go to dinner. They’d passed a variety of good restaurants on their way here. And the Pier was a tourist area. Locals rarely came here unless they had guests from out of town. Did he think this was a safe place? Somewhere that no one would know them or realize he was dating a black woman?
Their meal arrived, but Lisa had lost her tenuous hold on having a safe and uneventful evening. She was more nervous and more conscious of her surroundings than she was before. Their short exchange with Rhys’s in-laws had destroyed her ability to enjoy herself.
When they finally left, she was relieved. The drive back to Woodbine Heights was done in silence. When Rhys pulled into her driveway, he cut the engine and turned to face her.
“You didn’t enjoy the evening,” he stated.
“Of course, I did,” she said without thinking. “The food was great.” She couldn’t remember what she ate. “And the conversation was interesting.”
“What did we talk about?”
He’d called her bluff. She didn’t remember. After his in-laws came by, the germ of doubt as to his choice of location had sent her thoughts spiraling. “About me finding a job. About you being on the Supreme Court. About your in-laws and their business.”
“And that’s when things changed.”
He had picked up on the change in her after they came by.
Lisa looked him in the eye and decided to be direct. “Why did you choose that restaurant?”
“No reason other than good food and spending a longer amount of time with you.”
Good answer, she thought. “Is that the whole truth?”
“Would you like me to get my clerk to swear me in?”
He probably meant that as a joke, but Lisa didn’t laugh or even smile. “Did you take me there because you thought no one who knew you would see us?”
“Is that what you think? Lisa, there was no negative motive, Lisa. I thought you’d enjoy it. But it seems Piper and Grant’s appearance had a negative affect on you. They’re very nice people. I promise they weren’t judging you.”
“You can’t know that.” The atmosphere in the car grew heavy and hot. “Look,” she said. “I don’t know what’s happening here, but it’s not working.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying,” Lisa stopped. She spread her hands. “I don’t think we should pursue any further dates.”
“I want to see you again. I like you. In the years since my wife died, I haven’t been attracted to anyone. Then I saw you.”
“Rhys, you can’t possibly know what’s behind the doors you would open.”
“No on does,” he countered. “I only know how I feel about you. How do you feel about me?”
She wasn’t prepared for that question. Looking down, she hid her expression from him. He waited, not forcing her to answer. Her silence was an answer. “I’m attracted to you too,” she admitted.
“Then we don’t have a problem.”
“Of course, we do. Or we will. Rhys, we don’t live in a perfect world. We live in a fish bowl. Tonight we talked about you being on the Supreme Court and me being a Senior Vice President. Do you think that will happen if the bigots of the world learn of your attraction to me?”
“Interracial couples are seen everywhere,” he said. “We’ll be no more observed than the passing of night into day.”
“Interesting analogy.”
“I meant nothing by it.”
“You didn’t think we were being observed tonight. The couples you see are mainly young, college age kids, people who haven’t begun their careers or marriages yet. Society will excuse them as their actions being part of a misspent youth. It doesn’t forgive, but in time both forget. But we’re long past that. Both of us have families, friends and colleagues who may not be as liberal as we think they are.”
“Do we care?”
“Do we know we don’t care?” she asked. “Have we examined how this can affect your career? Have you discussed it with your children?”
It was his turn to be silent. And that answered her question too.
“You haven’t.”
“Lisa, how do you feel about me? Do you want to see me again?”
She hesitated a long time, weighing the many different answers she could give him.
“It’s obvious you’ve already given this a lot of thought. With your clearer vision and greater understanding of the circumstance, do you want to stop now?”
She shook her head.
“Then we go on. We’ll take it slowly. One day at a time. If either of us decides it’s to confining or we don’t want to handle the consequences, we’ll go our separate ways. No questions or explanations necessary.”
She nodded again. After a moment she got out of the car and Rhys walked her to the door.
“Think about what we just discussed,” she said. “Make sure you understand what could happen.”
“Only good things,” he assured her. Then he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. Lisa leaned into him for a moment before pushing back and opening her door.
“I’ll call you,” he said.
She nodded and closed the door. Leaning against the wall next to the entrance, all the fight went out of her. She wanted to slide down the painted surface and give in.
She had given in. And now, what?
***
Rhys considered his family an echo of the normal American family. They loved each other, were always there when a crisis was near, willing to help out wherever needed, and happy to share the joy of each others accomplishments. They were also a faction of the normal growing process. They’d grown up and begun busy lives, on the verge of carving out their own place in the world.
He didn’t see them all every day. They weren’t constantly on the phone with the teenage drama’s that had been their existence for that period of their lives. But today they were all present for the baby shower. His daughters crowded into the kitchen preparing food and talking, while his sons to orders to straighten up the already immaculate rooms and to put away unnecessary articles or to run out and pick up the last remaining item that had been forgotten on the list of must-haves.
Rhys had little to do, although he had made the lasagna and the petit cakes they’d loved as children and continued to love as adults. While all the activity was going on, his thoughts went to Lisa and their date the previous Saturda
y night. More so to the conversation they’d had sitting in his driveway. He hadn’t given any thought to the consequences of dating a black woman. It seemed a little naive now, but it hadn’t crossed his mind. He’d thought of her as an attractive woman.
Rhys leaned against the kitchen door. It was the only place in the room that wasn’t being constantly traversed by a myriad of footsteps. Looking at his children, he wondered if they would understand. He hadn’t ever dated to their knowledge. They’d never known him to be with a woman other than their mother. They were grown, almost grown. Eric was the youngest and he was off to college next fall.
He’d never taught them to be prejudiced against any race. They’d had friends of various cultural backgrounds. They parties and gatherings always had a mixed group. Yet when they discovered the opposite sex, they had only shown romantic interest in someone of their own heritage. Rhys wasn’t knocking that. He wondered if any of them had had an interest and discarded it because the other person didn’t meet their standards. That would be perfectly logical, he told himself.
The door behind him banged into his back. He stepped away to let Eric, who’d run to the store for more napkins, to enter.
“Dad, what are you doing?” Rita asked.
Her voice startled him. “Trying to stay out of the way. Is there anything you need me to do?”
She shook her head. “You were so lost in thought, concentrating hard. Are you working on a difficult case?”
He shook his head. “Only the usual routine stuff.”
“Then is it the woman?” Eric threw the comment out as if it was one of the napkins he’d just dropped on the table. Colby came in the room on the hills of the statement. All activity stopped. The knife Rita’s was using to chop lettuce hit the chopping board and ceased moving. Kathryn’s hands dripped with water, but she stopped drying them, letting the towel hang from them like a forgotten appendage.
“What woman?” Rita asked. Her eyes darted from her father to her brother.
“I talked to Aunt Piper last week. They’re back from Greece. She said she saw dad having dinner with a woman in Chicago.”
Holding Up the World Page 10