by RR Haywood
What the hell was all that about? She stays still, watching and scanning for anyone else. That man looked like a soldier and the truck is obviously an army one. Are the army functioning? He had machine guns and things like the army have. Wow. If the army are going then it might mean they have safe places. Having said that he was also throwing benches through windows and smashing cars up. That doesn’t sound safe. Not with people like that. But then it is hot and breaking down can set anyone off. Maybe he’s just having a bad day. Or a bad lots of days. How many days is it now since it happened? It’s two weeks today. Crumbs, only fourteen days since it started? Feels like months.
Her mind whirls with thoughts of armies and people in control. She doesn’t trust anyone. Apart from Paco and he’s a mutated zombie. Being with people now just feels wrong but then if they do have the army working then it could be a good place to be. Wherever they are.
Okay. Wait and see if they come back for their army truck and make a decision then. She nods to herself and eases back from the window.
‘Toothbrush…got to get a toothbrush.’
Nineteen
‘It’s a bit messy,’ she remarks quietly, standing at the back of the army truck and peering inside to the discarded chocolate bar wrappers and empty drinks bottles lying everywhere. T shirts that look like they were folded neatly now lie on the floor and her awesome detective skills deduce they were knocked down when the big man was rushing to unload it. She spots a pair of boxers left on the floor and tilts her neck to read the words written across the backside in black marker pen Cookey’s big boy pants. She blinks and huffs figuring it must be squaddie humour. Either that or they are indeed Cookey’s big boy pants.
‘Well it carries people,’ she tells Paco, pointing to the bench seats down the sides and then up ahead to the front seats. ‘Must be a personnel carrier,’ she decides, nodding at the vehicle then at Paco as if that solves the whole of the riddle.
It’s been an hour since the big bald soldier left in the van and it’s taken that long to monitor the street before finally deciding it was safe enough to venture out. Now the street looks empty and devoid of life. The trail of destruction the man left is impressive as she views the spots where the benches and bins used to be. At least he opened some of the shops for them by graciously removing the windows.
The supermarket is the first choice and she leads Paco over then drops behind him with her hands on his hips to guide him through the smashed in door first. It’s already been looted but then she was expecting as much. The metal shutter hiding the cigarettes lie hang down from being prised open and she spots produce and things strewn all over the floor. It smells bad too but the smell of rotten food rather than dead bodies. She stays behind Paco but edges in closer to his body to put her hands on his elbows as though to feel if he tenses up. He stays relaxed and for a second she holds still, listening to him breathing and feeling the warmth coming from his body.
‘Clear?’ she whispers? He doesn’t reply but she swears there’s a slight motion in his body, like the preparation of taking a forward step. ‘Okay,’ she adds and applies the gentlest of pressure to his elbows with her hands. He goes forward immediately, almost as though he was waiting for the instruction.
The booze is all gone, which is no surprise. What is surprising is all the junk food has been looted but half the healthy tinned stuff is left behind. Same with the bottled water and cartons of juice and long life milk. People are idiots.
‘I think people are idiots,’ she whispers, giving voice to the thought. They go along the inside of the checkouts to see up each aisle before she decides the shop is clear and seemingly safe. She was hoping it would be cooler in here but if anything it’s even more stifling and the sweet rancid stench of fouled food soon makes her want to rush.
She leads him to the toiletries section first and grabs several new toothbrushes, paste, tampons, wipes and foot powders. Bandages, plasters, antiseptic creams and sprays, sun lotions and creams, moisturisers, Nurofen, lip balm, mascara, hair bands, more hair bands, a new hair brush and some more hair bands. Scrunchies and clips and she goes back for more tampons and even picks up a box of condoms before realising what they are then blushing as she drops them on the floor to be kicked away while she checks to see if he saw.
The bag fills quickly, too quickly. It’s not greed but opportunity and she’s making the most of it. She rushes back down to the checkouts and grabs a few of the big bags for life before going back in to load up with bottles of water, cartons of juice, cans of energy drinks, tinned fruit, rice pudding, muesli bars and more hair bands.
Paco becomes a mule. The loaded rucksack on his back and his hands clutching several bulging bags as she leads him out the shop, across the road, down the alley, into the yard and into the staff room where everything gets deposited on the floor. Well she deposits it on the floor while he watches.
‘Ready?’ she asks him. They go back out the staff room, through the yard, down the alley and across the road but this time to a clothing shop before she stops and remembers she just came from a clothes shop. She huffs and lifts an eyebrow at him before shrugging and walking him back out into the main road. ‘Perfect,’ she grins and sets off striding with him dutifully following after her. An outdoor retail shop with a big bin smashed through the window and the door already kindly opened by someone else. It’s been looted by the same standards as the supermarket with odd stuff taken instead of the serious things. She grabs a new bigger rucksack and loads it anything she thinks might be useful.
Back in the staff room she stands sweating profusely. The air is so close now, like it’s become thick. They’re both sweating tons and she feels a dull headache coming up. She locks the back door and starts carrying everything up the stairs to the store room that has now become their base of operations. Paco follows her up empty handed then back down as she huffs and tuts at him. He doesn’t go up empty handed the next time but carries everything she can hook on his arms, hands and over his shoulders before sending the poor sod up ahead of her.
Finally she sinks down on the bare wooden floors panting for breath and melting into a puddle of sweat.
‘Sugar…need sugar,’ she heaves up onto her backside and reaches up to grab Paco’s wrists. ‘Come down,’ she urges, tugging him to lower down. He bends first that her makes her giggle. ‘No your bum…sit down on your bum…’ the concept is difficult but by tugging on his arms and knees she finally conveys what she wants and he lowers to sit down cross legged next to her, which just makes her giggle again. ‘Come here,’ she crawls over him to stretch his legs out so he doesn’t look like a naughty schoolboy. ‘See? Like this…sitting,’ she tells him, pronouncing the word slowly. ‘Sitting…this is sitting…got it? Oh my god I’m so hot. Are you hot? You look hot.’
She can’t physically get up and walk anywhere ever again so instead she crawls about mooching through bags to come back with two can of Red Bull. She opens both before finding her marigolds that get pulled on so she can lift one of the cans to his mouth with her fingers gently holding his chin.
He gulps noisily. Swallowing it down in one long action until the can is empty. She smiles and wipes a dribble from his lip as he belches noisily.
‘Greedy pig,’ she crinkles her nose at him and grabs her own can that gets glugged down with equal gusto and adds her own belch to match his.
The sugar, caffeine and synthetically produced taurine get into her system quickly, raising her heart rate.
The sugar, caffeine and synthetically produced taurine get into his system quickly, raising his heart rate.
Energy thrums through her body that makes her eyes go slightly larger from the pleasurable feeling.
Energy thrums though his body that makes his eyes go like dishpan lids from his already near perfectly primed cells going bananas from the fresh intake of new ingredients that get processed, broken down and sent round body from a heart going like the clappers.
She sinks down feeling hot, sweaty and grimy
but strangely energised and looks round in wonder at the bags of new things. These are strange days. Strange days indeed and to question it would drive you mad, so she doesn’t. Instead she looks at Paco and blinks in surprise. ‘Are you okay?’
Paco doesn’t say whether he is okay or not. Instead his head nods really quickly. Up and down with small movements while his eyelids stretch wide open.
‘What the hell?’
He grins manically. His mouth turning up to show teeth in what can only be a smile. She bursts out laughing at the sight of him nodding like crazy while grinning from ear to ear.
‘Paco?’
His hands lift to fall that thump on the floorboards, like a spasm or a twitch that makes Heather cover her mouth with the back of her forearm to stifle the laugh.
His shoulders join in with a single shrug then another and another until he’s shrugging, grinning, nodding and lifting his hands an inch off the floor to drop them down again.
She can’t help laughing. The way he’s sat there with his legs stretching out and his hands resting on the floor either side of his body, like he’s dancing on the spot and the sight of him grinning like that is too much. Really too much. The laugh grows, tears come into her eyes and she gasps for air while trying to turn away to stop looking at him. When she looks back he’s still going and it sets her off again so hard she bends double while kneeling and clutching her stomach. When she looks again she sees his arms lifting out from the sides and going back down like he’s trying to fly. It’s too much. The tears roll quickly down her cheeks as the poor chap tries to process the strong energy drink coursing through his body. She crawls closer, laughing hard and tries to grab his arms to stop him flying. He doesn’t resist or force against her and she can feel the tremble running through his body but the expression on his face is what keeps her laughing. His eyes tracking her while nodding and grinning like he’s desperately agreeing to whatever she just said. There’s no pain in his eyes, no sadness or worry but an expression of gleeful abandon from a grown man doing something so silly.
‘Oh you poor baby,’ she chuckles and laughs at him, gently clasping his cheeks in her gloved hands. ‘It’s just the sugar…’
He nods harder with an action that brings the giggles back into her body. He likes the sound of her laughing. He likes her hands touching him and the tone of her voice. He doesn’t know he likes it but he grins wider. Stretching his mouth more that sets her off again with her hands still cupping his cheeks.
‘Stop,’ she gasps the words out between laughs, leaning closer towards him while holding his head. ‘Stop…Paco…oh god,’ the giggles come again from the deep slow blink he gives. His eyes squeezing together then popping wide. Her head drops from laughing so much, her forehead almost touching his. He can see the tears on her cheeks and feels the shake in her body from the laughs that sound so nice. His eyes watch her face all the time. Learning the nuances and subtle changes that accompany her voice and body language. She slowly gets her breathing under control and tries to draw a deep steadying lungful while risking another look at him. As soon as she does so he squeezes his eyes and pops them open while grinning wider. She’s gone again. Fresh tears course down her cheeks and her body trembles while leaning harder into him. Her legs over his thighs. She gets lost in the moment, caught up in the giggles that grip and don’t let go. While laughing, while giggling and feeling the pain in her sides and gasping for air she wraps her arms round his head and pulls him close to her chest while she sags forward over him. There is no danger here, of that there is no doubt. She pays no heed to his saliva going on her top or the sweat from his body touching her bare skin. She pays no heed to his mouth being so close he could nip gently and draw blood. She feels only his form and the purity of joy that laughing brings and the closeness to another body that she knows won’t ever try and hurt her. Not ever. Never ever. She hugs him close, laughing and giggling while he becomes engulfed in the feeling of a warm body pressing into his head. It’s hot and hard to get a full breath but he shows no reaction and somewhere deep inside that equilibrium is pushed yet further away.
The sound of the diesel engine comes fast and it takes seconds for the new noise to register in her brain. She lifts up, still smiling and turns to face the window. The engine noise gets closer then the sound of brakes and the vehicle slows to a stop. Doors open and a deep voice calls out.
‘You two move out and keep watch.’
She instantly matches it to the big man she saw earlier. It’s exactly how she imagined he would sound.
Another voice speaks, younger and sounding worried. ‘Wow man…that’s like, you know, a proper big army thing yeah?’
‘It is, now fix it,’ the deep voice growls.
‘Man, you don’t understand that like, you know, I gotta see what’s wrong with it before I fix it. What happened, did it like you know, make noise or what man?’
‘The power went…no noises or bangs, just went,’ the deep voice says.
‘Slow or fast?’
‘Quick. Just died.’
‘Man that sounds like a fuel problem, maybe a fuel line or something like, you know?’
‘Know what?’
‘Was there like, you know, diesel on the road or…?’
‘No,’ the deep voice snaps. ‘Nothing.’
‘Well okay man, that’s helpful you know? I’ll go take a look then.’
‘You do that. If you get it working then I might not shoot you.’
She flinches at the words, still hugging Paco’s head then drops down to whisper into his ear, telling him to shush and stay quiet. She pulls away to turn fully towards the window, one hand now resting on his shoulder.
‘Lads,’ the deep voice calls out but the tone is ever so slightly different, with a natural authority underlined with a hint of humour. ‘If he doesn't anything you don’t like, runs off, shouts out, whatever… shoot him.’
‘You got it, hench man,’ a young prematurely deep voice of a teenage man replies. Something in the way the words are said tell Heather the big man didn’t mean it but he wanted to make the other man work fast.
She stays silent, glancing at Paco who also stays silent as they listen to bangs and clunks of someone doing things to the vehicle. Low voices come drifting up on the hot air. Two teenage males speaking quietly and the mechanic man trying to convince them he is working as fast as he can.
She wants to look down but can’t risk being seen and any thoughts of going out to meet them are gone instantly. Paco is infected. If they’re army they’ll shoot him for sure. If she weighed it up and had time to think it through she’d see the sheer folly of her reasoning but she reacts on instinct, and her instinct, as ever, tells her to be quiet and hide. People are dangerous. Stay away from people.
The two teenage sounding males sound like they’re from a council estate. Like the inner city accents she hears on television and films. They berate the mechanic constantly, keeping the pressure on him to work.
‘Done man, like you know I fixed it and like, it ain't gonna break again man, like a proper fix that is for sure.’ Finally the mechanic calls out with a voice of relief.
‘Well done that man,’ the deep voice booms so loud it makes her flinch which makes Paco sit up straight with a hard glare. She soothes him quickly, rubbing his arm and pulling soft faces until he relaxes and his eyes lose the look that everyone else is about to get killed.
The noises carry on outside. Doors being opened and people moving about. The sky darkens with a noticeable suddenness. It’s too early for night. The pressure of the close air becomes thicker, like it’s harder to breathe. Static everywhere that makes her stretch her mouth as though her ears are blocked. A bigger deeper engine starts, throaty and roaring to life. Must be the army vehicle. A few seconds later and after more doors have been slammed shut the engine pulls away to power fast down the road plunging the room into a gloomy, heavy hot silence.
Only then does she risk crawling over to the window to look down on a de
serted street. The hairs on her neck prickle. Dark broiling clouds roll low overhead but the people and the army truck are gone. She exhales slow and steady with a release of tension but stays waiting and watching for long minutes. She needs air. It’s so stifling in here. She cracks the sash window open an inch then pushes it wider. It has no effect whatsoever so she waits, watching and staring intently in case they come back.
The heat gets worse in the finality of atmospheric pressure building in the last minutes of calm before the storm. The air gets so heavy it becomes flat and robs the volume from her voice.
‘Hungry?’ she asks Paco, the word sounding weirdly hollow and lifeless. Eating in this heat is the last thing she wants to do but they’ve walked miles today again and she’s learning to eat when you can.
Twenty
Winter coats left in the store room for the seasonal change in products to be sold in the shop make comfy seats. Stacked and laid at the base of a wall with Paco leaning back after being fussed over, moved, made to sit then get back up so she could put more woollen coats down and then back up again in case he wanted some lower back support.
‘Right, we’re going to try something,’ she says breathlessly. Just moving in this pressured air is hard work. Holding a tin of low fat rice pudding she drops at his side with her marigolds still firmly on her hands. ‘Are you right handed or left?’
Paco doesn’t know if he is right or left handed and therefore does not reply to impart this information. That and he has no clue what she just said.
‘We’ll go for the right…but then I heard artistic people are mostly left handed. Hmmm, saying that you’re not exactly artistic are you. I mean, you know, like action films aren’t art like oh I don’t know, you know what I mean. We’ll go for the right hand okay? Hold this, that’s it, put your hand here and hold the tin. No don’t squeeze too hard. That’s it. Just hold it there. Now use your left hand to take the spoon. Oh hold on…no you need to hold the tin in your left hand and use your right to hold the spoon. Swap over. Left hand here and hold the tin, got it? Now the right hand holds the spoon like this. I’ll put it here and push your fingers together. So, we go down, load the spoon and then lift it up…no it goes towards your mouth. God your arms are huge, Paco…they weigh a ton. Shift your elbow a bit, I can’t see. No that way…no don’t move the spoon. Right hang on, I’ll sit over your legs. Is that okay? I’m not too heavy am I? Right put the spoon back in and get it loaded, not too much now. Yeah that’s fine now up…up to the mouth…open up…and in it goes! Hey well done.’