She paused, her face becoming red with embarrassment. “Gosh, I’m talking a lot right now. I’m sorry I just totally am unloading on you like a chatter box.”
“Don’t apologize at all! No, I enjoy hearing you sound normal. I mean, not that I didn’t think you were normal. I, uh.” I bit my lip. Shit.
“I understand what you’re saying, I promise. We are a lot to take in. All of this.” She held out her hand dramatically and we both looked at the estate. The morning sun sprinkled its light along the rolling heals and brilliant spring flowers and dog trees. “I can see how it may appear, I mean how we may appear to the outside looking in.”
I wanted to ask her more questions, but I decided to wait until maybe another time. I really hoped I hadn’t offended her. I thought it best not to say anything else along those lines. Positive vibes only.
Returning to the subject at hand, I chimed in. “Well, life is short, I say. And you only have the metabolism of your age, well, at your age. Not saying you have to watch what you eat or anything, but you know, modeling is all about hitting it hot in your twenties. I think you should go for it. Don’t let anything hold you back.”
“Thanks, Kate. I can’t believe I told you that.”
“Well, if you ever need any help with all that, I’m here.”
“Like a trip into the city?” Her face lit up like a school kid knowing summer was coming.
“Of course!”
“Oh, would you really? I mean, I’d so love that! It could be our secret? I could finally get my portfolio done. Gosh, just thinking about this gives me butterflies! But good ones! From excitement! Seriously, thank you Kate! We can go shopping for little junior. My treat, of course.” She clapped her hands together with joy. “Well, um, I’m going to go riding for a few hours before the snow comes in. Would you…maybe want to make some of your delicious cupcakes later I hear that you make?”
“How’d you hear that?” I asked curiously and honestly.
“I saw your Kate’s Kitchen Instagram. It looks soooo good.”
Of course I figured people would see it, but I just wasn’t prepared that fast. It made me feel excited, eager, and a bit anxious.
“Absolutely! How do I find out if there are the proper ingredients for these paleo babies?”
“Don’t you worry. Just write down the ingredients and we’ll have everything ready for you by noon. Today’s a down day traditionally on Easter weekend over here. So this would be perfect.”
Hours later in the most gorgeous kitchen ever, I had all ingredients sprawled out on the counter.
“So, I hear these cupcakes taste as good as regular ole horrible for your health cupcakes! But I want you to make me a believer.” She looked down and reached for an avocado.
“Avocados? Really?” She looked surprised.
“Absolutely. So we will make the chocolate batch, using the avocados, and then we will make vanilla using coconut milk, vanilla beans, all dairy free.”
“You mean to tell me that this here avocado can taste sweet?” She held it up while pressing into the skin feeling its texture. She was so cute when she looked perplexed like that.
“Wait, don’t move. Can I snap you? I mean just to my private small group friends. I just think it would be just the thing people would say before they taste these.”
“Okay,” she smiled shyly. “But only for you, and for my future nephew.” She winked. “You really push me out of my shell, Kate!”
I swiped open Snapchat and started recording her response.
“It’s the texture, the creaminess we are going for. And that is what avocados achieve here. See, look how good you are on film! Now the next step is an Instagram video.” I flipped the clip around to see her pleased face. We had a good laugh watching the footage over and over with different filters when an engine zoomed into eyesight and I caught view of the woman from last night that caused Atticus to stiffen up and act so differently.
That car, wow. I had no idea how much it cost but it was a safe bet to assume in the couple hundreds, of thousands, that is. And what was she thinking, it was already lightly snowing, yet she had the convertible top down like it was a sunny day at the beach.
She shut the door with her butt, and pranced like the best of them onto the walkway. She clicked her keys and the top manually covered the convertible. Dressed practically in white fur head to toe, she wore a snow white fur cap, fur boots, tan leggings, and a gorgeous down jacket fit for skiing.
She looked stunning with her long blonde hair perfectly styled and enhanced with rich extensions. I could see her pink lip gloss sparkling all the way from the kitchen.
Not even a minute later, her voice was heard before her presence coming towards us.
“Snow day! School’s out! Time to play! Just like old times! Now where is Atticus?”
Her articulate voice became even crisper around the pronunciation of Atticus, as if claiming her hold on him.
Where’s Atticus? Time to play?
She waltzed into the kitchen like she owned the place with so much pretension it made my stomach feel sick and just plain annoyed as hell. She didn’t even make eye contact me as if I were “the help” or something.
“Lacey, where’s your brother, dear?”
“Clarissa, this is Atticus’ girlfriend, Kate.” Lacey attempted to introduce us.
I held out my hand to make her acquaintance but she just bounced the other way, nodding and uttering, “Uh huh. Well, do tell him I’m looking for him. I shall go get your lazy sister out of bed. Let’s plaaaaaay!”
“Yeah, and uh, nice to meet you too. Are you from here? No, I’m not. Well, me neither.” I held a fake conversation with myself, causing Lacey to laugh.
“Don’t take it personal. She’s like, always been that way since I could ever remember. That, and between you and me, heavily medicated.” She brought her voice down to a whisper. “Like she’s a bit of a pill popper so her moods are rather eccentric. She’s spoiled rotten. Her mom was best friends with my mom. I mean, so close, they were sisters. They were sorority sisters. Personally, I blame her for my sister’s rotten antics, because mother would never allow such behavior. But don’t tell anyone I said so.”
Mother. I wanted to ask more about their mother, but perhaps another time. After all, I had at least three months with this family.
“You’re secret’s safe with me. So, are you close to Brittany?”
Lacey shrugged her petite shoulders. “I wish we were closer, I’ll just put it at that. But now that you’re in the picturreeeee, I have a new sister I can get to know.” She winked at me, giggling while cracking open eggs and beating them.
Great.
Just fucking great.
Here was this little miss Mother Theresa with a heart of gold who I really, genuinely liked, and she thinks I’m going to be a part of her family’s life forever.
Gosh. I hated these lies.
When I agreed to this, I didn’t even think or anticipate feeling connected like this to his family.
Fuck me.
“Do you have siblings?”
“I don’t. But my cousin is like a sister to me.” I was about to tell her how I lived with my aunt and uncle for most of my life, but I didn’t feel like accidently spilling any beans about my family.
You know, don’t take this personally or the wrong way, but how did you become so nice when your sister’s like….Cruella DeVille?”
“Well…I didn’t go to boarding school like my older siblings and cousins. I was privately tutored here and then devoted the rest of my free time to riding. My parents picked up that I was shy and I think they learned a thing or two from my older siblings. Compliments of being the youngest. Here, let’s play some music and lighten the mood a bit. Nat King Cole?”
I felt a small smile dance on my lips. It was the same artist Atticus played for me when he picked me up two nights ago. I shook my head lightly in shock that we had really only been at this for two days. Yet so much had happened that it f
elt much longer than two days, for sure.
After getting the batter ready, we began making the icing when I saw him.
Atticus.
Outside facing the rolling hills and majestic mountains, in his peaceful happy place.
Dressed in his outdoor gear, he held a coffee in his hand. I could see the steam rising from the coldness in the air. Just the sight of him was mesmerizing. He really loved the outdoors and even though we were still getting to know each other, I could tell this life really made him happy.
Truly, really happy.
Just as happy as his tongue made my pussy feel last night, which was pretty damn happy.
Looks like I wasn’t the only one who caught sight of him.
The door swung open to the outside from another wing of the estate and Clarissa’s words filled his silence.
“Atticus, will you spot me please? Be a good doll, now. I’m just anxiously awaiting your sister to get herself out here and join me.”
I watched him curiously to see how he would respond to her. She was really working up the flirtation with him. It was hard to make out his reaction though as he fed the clay machine so she could shoot. She rested her hand on his shoulder. I immediately felt the cat claws inside of me.
“Oh Atticus! You just-” and the door shut. I could no longer hear their conversation.
“Trust me, don’t worry about her. She’s a total flirt. They have a history together. You’re his girlfriend and he loves you. Not her. And with this winter wonderland found in spring, I’m going to make it my ambition to have you two enjoy this day in style—romance style.”
He loves you.
Him? Loving me?
The girl from Brooklyn with a dead mother and father in jail? Who was on food stamps and left alone most of my childhood. Yeah, let’s see how much he would love me then if he ever heard about my disgusting past without much pedigree. I shook my head, shaking away the nasty remnants of memory lane. I didn’t tread there much. It wasn’t pretty.
Oh gosh. This was torture. I didn’t need these false statements floating about me, luring me and teasing me, taunting me that this all was real. I was afraid I would really start believing them. And what was I in—an adult version of Cinderella on the Hallmark channel? (Uh, make that Hallmark channel Spice?!)
I still couldn’t believe our sexual connection. I still hadn’t gotten over the fact where I was two nights ago. I only thought those places existed in movies. And speaking of movies, for all I was concerned, this was just like a movie set and I’d been hired on for the main role as leading lady. It was just a role, a paid role, and nothing more.
My nipples hardened, my breath quickened, and my cheeks flushed. Chills covered my skin as I snapped to my senses.
I call bullshit.
I was bullshitting myself and I needed to snap out of it.
Oh my God, I’d need some fresh air fast. Yes. Let’s think about that, now shall we? Fresh air. Nature. Away from all of this nonsensical love talk.
“What do you mean?”
“Have you ever ridden in a horse-drawn carriage?”
“No!”
“Well, that’s one thing. And we have a few. But being pulled in the snow is tre romantic. Just watch. Besides, Clarissa needs to get the picture pretty clear: off limits. When will she learn?”
Chapter Twenty
Kate
And just like that, what Lacey promised, Lacey delivered. She said she would ice the cupcakes while I got fresh air, and that she “insisted” as the aunt of my unborn child, that she wanted her nephew to “get used to the mountain air.”
And just like that, there we were, Atticus and I, getting into a horse-drawn carriage, straight out of a movie scene. I really needed to stop comparing this situation to Hollywood movies, but movies were all I could compare this to.
The snow was still falling lightly. We packed blankets and a basket of snacks, including hot chocolate in a canister, and champagne for Atticus.
If looks could kill, I was already dead a thousand times over as Clarissa shot the dirtiest glances my way. Brittany had joined them by now, so I decided to have a little fun and tick them off. I slid my sunglasses on and totally played up that giddy in love-struck girl just to spite them. I wrapped my arm around Atticus shoulder and looked at him with doe-eyed adoration. “Oh, Addy, you shouldn’t have! You really know how to whisk a girl off her feet!”
I kissed him lightly, only to feel surprise when he didn’t pull away from me, but returned his kiss as passionate, intense and direct as the night of the sexy party when our tongues danced with each other.
The sound of horse hooves trotting against the ground and the gently wooden crackle of the carriage with the peaceful brave bird out in freezing temperature decorated our backdrop as he pulled away from me with a smile on his face.
“You’re doing excellent.” His face held a very pleased look.
“Can’t he hear?” I nodded my chin up towards the horse driver. I didn’t want our ploy unearthed by eavesdroppers, and after last night, well, I didn’t want to risk losing this gig. Especially since we were so close to sleeping together!
“Strict orders and protocol forbid him to eavesdrop. He’s been with the family for ages. Don’t worry, he has music on his headset.”
I let out a relieved sigh and finally felt a few pounds lift off my shoulders.
His hand caressed my knee. Every part of me froze, wanting more. Begging for more. My soul was so hot and ready, you could have sworn I was teenager just discovering sexuality. But he did that to me. He made me all hot, bothered, eager, and ready to throw caution to a wind and just scream, “Fuck me hard, right now - behind this barn over here.”
“I dreamt about you last night, you know?” He admitted huskily, sexily, as if he himself were trying to layer on the flirtatious banter. Wh…what did he just say?
“Did you?”
“I did. But I’m not going to tell you what naughty things you were doing. And oh, you were so naughty.” He teased with the growl in his voice.
His dirty talk made me blush.
“Seriously, you’re doing excellent. As soon as we are a few feet away, I’ll pop some bubbly for you in cheers.” He winked. “That way they won’t see.”
“So scandalous. Speaking of scandal and naughty ways, Atticus, I’m a bit, well, shy about what happened last night.” I felt open enough to share that with him.
“Why? I made you feel good? Nothing to be shy about there.” He replied matter-of-factly, as if he were saying, “I gave you a backrub, no big deal!”
It suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea of his sexual ethics and beliefs. I wondered what his view on sexuality was; after all, we fucked in a place that seemed like some sort of sex party. Maybe it was better not to know and just look at it like he said: a gift?
Minutes later when we were out of sight of any spies or eavesdroppers, he popped open some champagne and filled our glasses just as he had promised.
I gladly took the drink. Fresh champagne bubbles tickled my cold nose, but I liked it.
Atticus used this moment to open up some conversation. “So, tell me something about that I don’t know. How’d you get into baking and stuff?”
“Well…”
“Well, what?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“I do. I asked right.”
“Well, it’s not exactly the prettiest of stories.”
“I doubt there’s any other kind coming out of your lips.”
He really had a way with flattery! Ignoring his charm, I inhaled a breath of confidence. “Cooking and baking was the one thing I could control in life. At least while my dad was passed out drunk, and well, my mother…” I paused, briefly, willing the rest of my courage out. “She was gone. She’s been dead for quite some time.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” His tone was genuine, which I appreciated. I would have cringed if this brought about awkward silence, or a tone of piteous empathy.
“Thank you,” I swallowed another sip and continued. “I would have the small kitchen to myself for a moment of quiet, a moment where I could control the environment, even if it was just for a moment. I started experimenting in 3rd grade and learned on my own since my father was always drunk by the time I got home.”
“That's young. And quite irresponsible. I’m sorry you had to be subjected to that.” I sucked in a deep breath of confidence. For some reason, I felt like I could trust him, that I could tell him… maybe everything.
“Yeah, I know. I was like eight. Ever watch Kid Iron Chef on the Food Network? Kids are pretty talented in the kitchen! Anyway, when I was playing with my cousin, my aunt saw my burn on my arm.” I turned my arm over to show the raised burn scar on my forearm.
“Wow. That’s a scar.”
“I usually have it covered with makeup like last night and then of course the other night. But I didn’t today. Anyway, that's when she realized my home wasn't a safe environment and they took custody of me and...” I took a deep breath again, tempering myself to avoid shedding a tear or making this an emotional experience.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Kate. That really is something you’ve been through. But, I’m glad to hear you had other family you could count on.” He wrapped his arm around, pulling me in.
I couldn’t help spilling my guts. “But the truth is, I always felt like the stepchild. Blood is blood, sure. But children you carry in your own womb, I guess it can be different. And well, we lived in Brooklyn. My aunt and uncle both worked to support my three cousins and then included me, an extra mouth to feed. That’s how I saw myself for quite some time: an extra mouth to feed. Since the moment when I could even begin to work, I started cleaning houses. I got a scholarship, a few grants, and took out loans to go to college. Went to business school, started a business, then Claire hired me as her tour manager because I get shit done.”
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