“This is bold,” he breathed, running his hands up and down her back.
It was bold! And it was exciting! And it was nothing like Sydney!
Sydney kissed his reluctant lips. He wanted to talk. How out of the ordinary. But her persuading lips soon had his lips converted, kissing her back and once he had a taste he lifted Sydney and laid her on the bench settling between her legs.
Sydney moaned against him.
She felt his hands move from the back of her knee slowly under her skirt and up her thigh. She was jealous he got to touch her skin so she slipped her hands under his t-shirt. His stomach felt just as strong and solid as it looked and when she moved her fingers down to his pants he moaned against her. “Syd?”
Her hand moved down the front of his shorts and rubbed the hardness there. Her bold touch seemed to make him envious because his hands dipped under her dress and slipped under her underwear and...
“Take it into cabin Gees.” Joan's heels tapped across the floor beside them.
Sydney froze.
Jake froze.
There was no way climbing off each other would be better than just staying put.
“Your daughter is just on shore children,” she said as she past. “I'm calling it a night but there's not a ripple in this lake so if this thing is a rocking all night I will know it's not the weather.”
The door to below deck slammed behind Joan.
Sydney’s eyes found Jake’s and she could not help but laugh. The hard look on his face broke and he laughed with her. His hands were on both sides of her face and he rubbed her hair with his thumbs.
“That wasn't exactly the response I imagined with Joan,” he said.
She smiled. “I don't think you ever really gave her a chance.”
“I don't think I want to talk about that while I'm lying between your legs.”
She bit her lower lip. “You should get off me before Haylee gets a glimpse of this show.”
He kissed her. “I want to rock this boat with you.”
She laughed. “With Joan's cabin next to mine it's not going to happen.”
He frowned. “You started this.”
She reached up and gave him a peck. “You started this with that kiss on the beach.”
“I don't regret it.”
Chapter Sixteen
JAKE WATCHED HAYLEE slurp another one of those raw oysters into her mouth and his stomach turned.
He pushed his plate of food away. He was done.
Haylee grinned at him. “It's delicious.”
Joan and Sydney agreed with her, each happily eating their seafood plates while Jake had been enjoying his burger and fries. But he couldn't stomach watching them suck little slippery, raw fish out of shells.
After supper on their last night, Jake walked hand in hand with Sydney to the beach. The wind picked up and took her skirt with it a few times.
“It's going to be a rocky night on that boat,” he teased.
Sydney playfully hit his arm that hers looped around.
“I was just saying. I had to have another freezing cold shower this morning.”
He felt her giggle against him.
They walked to the beach and sat on the sand watching the sun set.
“Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“I don't need to know what happened when you left. Not the details you don't want to share. I will always be here to listen if you want to share. It's just...” She paused with a sigh and he waited. “It was so hard when you left. You didn't call, you didn't even tell me you were leaving. I just woke up and I was alone.”
He wanted to tell her how sorry he was but he didn't want to interrupt her when she was finally talking, asking him for whatever she needed so they could move forward. He’d waited all weekend to have this talk and was excited she would be on his arm when they returned to Willow Valley just like he’d planned.
“If I ask you not to leave me like that again I know you won't.”
He would never leave her like that again.
“You've already said that’s the one thing you would change and that's the one thing I've been afraid of happening again. That's all I need.” Why did he sense a “but” to follow? “I thought if you told me why you left, what you did and what was more important...” She paused and very slowly said, “than me.”
He squeezed her hand but didn't say anything. His leaving had nothing to do with who more important.
“I thought if I understood why you left and could relate to you back then...I don't know...then maybe you wouldn't do it again or maybe I could prepare my heart for the next time you did.” He was never doing it again. “It doesn't make sense I know. I just don't know how I would deal with you leaving again.”
Jake wanted to tell her that he would never leave her again but he had listened to what she said and that wasn't what she needed to hear right now. She needed to understand why he left even if she was claiming she didn't. He was relieved that was all she wanted and not every single detail he couldn't share.
“You know my childhood story that Joan was our nanny and my Dad’s mistress and my mom left us when she found out.”
That was the underlying friction between the two of them all these years. It hadn't always been like that. When Jake and Adalyn were young and Joan was the live-in nanny there had been a time when the child in Jake would even say he loved Joan. She'd been around as long as Jake could remember, raising them when their mother would leave on her fancy trips. She was gone for weeks, sometimes months, at a time and his dad travelled for business. It was quite often just the three of them and Kyle until the shit hit the ceiling and his mother left.
“We moved to Willow Valley while my dad was having some midlife crisis and Adalyn found where our mom was. One day, months before I left, we got on my bike and rode out to see her. She wasn't the same woman that left us. She was a drunk, an addict...she didn't even recognize us. We came home confused and blaming Joan and Dad for what my mom had become. Adalyn thought her love could change my mom.”
Sydney’s head rested against his shoulder and her hand other hand stroked his arm, giving him the strength to continue.
“Adalyn left, but I wasn't going back.” Only Adalyn knew that truth after she’d tried to convince him to help her save her mother. “That place was disgusting and I didn’t see any good there. But Adalyn called me begging me to come help her.” She only had to ask once. “She was in a panic, so I agreed. That was when I picked you up. I thought I would be back before you even noticed. I was young Sydney. I know you don't think that counts for anything but it counts for my carelessness. My thinking I knew everything while knowing nothing. I left. It was the hardest decision of his life. I was drawn into their world while trying to get them out and finally the day came that I realized neither of them were ever leaving. I walked away and I came home.”
Jake stood up, unable to sit any longer. He held his hand out and helped her to her feet, pulling her close to him.
“I came home for you. I thought about you every single day more than once and every day I would have preferred to be home with you then there.”
Softly she stroked his neck with her thumb. “I thought about you every single day you were away. I worried about you every single day.”
He touched her cheek. “I'm sorry that I made you worry. I will never make you worry again. I will never leave you. I know it's only my word but I'm giving it to you. I am promising you.”
***
SYDNEY HAD DECIDED she didn't need to know Jake’s past as they walked hand-in-hand toward the beach on the beautiful warm evening, their last evening before they went back to Willow Valley and back to reality. She wished she’d taken Kate’s offer to stay longer so they could spend more time together. Once Jake shared the past with her, she was happy he had. She felt closer to him after knowing what he'd gone through. Even though she hadn’t thought she needed to hear the grounds for his departure after his first conviction to never leave her again, safe
ness settled around her now and a faith that he would never hurt her again. His every word loosened her heart. The love for his family was strong as was his love for her.
He was waiting for her to reply. She smiled at him and kissed him. The tension in his body dissipated in her embrace. Their kiss turned into a long hug accepting their future together.
“You’re a wonderful man, Jake Stow,” she told him. “You're kind, strong, and you give your heart like no one I've ever met.”
“I give you my heart Syd. The whole thing.”
“I give you mine,” she replied. “The whole thing.” She’d given him her heart a long time ago.
Jake kissed her again, then smirked down at her like he had a secret.
“What's that look for?” she asked.
“Since my presumptions this weekend have been a bull’s-eye basically every time...Coming onto this boat to win you over, not having sex before we were ready, choosing a fedora instead of a cowboy hat...”
What was he going on about? “Is this going somewhere?”
“I hope so.” He kissed her nose then walked her away from the beach and back along the path toward the boat. When the “y” in the path came along Sydney continued right toward the water where Joan's boat was docked while Jake pulled her left to a road of small rental cottages.
Excitement created a little more bounce into her step and she couldn't help wonder if he had rented one of these quaint little cottages, even though that would be ridiculous. Her stomach fluttered with anticipation, her grip around his hand tightened.
Stop being silly. Rented a cabin? Who does that?
Jake stopped in front of one of the cabins and pulled a key out of his pocket. Sydney stared at the key as more flutters occurred in her stomach. When she looked up at him, she didn't have to ask. He'd rented it.
“Was it too presumptuous?” he asked. “We don't have to do anything I just wanted to be alone with you without having to worry about Joan or Haylee.”
He was so sweet. She answered by squeezing his hand then reaching up and grazing his cheek with her lips.
They went inside the small two bedroom cottage decorated plainly with a couch set, wooden kitchen table, chairs and boat scene paintings on the wall.
Sydney liked it.
“It's not the luxury of Joan's boat,” he said, grabbing a bottle of wine that was chilling in the ice bucket and two wine glasses sitting on the table beside it.
“I don't need luxury.” Besides she knew this man could afford luxury if he wanted and this was a last minute attempt to spend time alone with her. Which meant more than money ever could.
Her heartbeat pounded faster with each step to the couch. They settled down and snuggled together, leaving the wine on the coffee table.
“Like I said, we don't have to do anything. I could just hold you all night like this.”
She snuggled closer. “Alright.” She could let him hold her like this all night too, but her head knew they were alone. No Haylee in the next room or Joan walking past. No hiding. Most importantly, there was no fear between them. They had worked out everything that was holding them back and now everything was perfect. It was also the perfect opportunity to do more than just snuggle.
Sydney worked up the courage and touched his leg. She felt every muscle underneath her fingers tense and she wanted the same.
She remembered how he lifted her on the sun bed and landed on top of her so gently. How he'd picked her up in the shower a little rougher. Either way she liked. She remembered how she'd bravely climbed on top of him first. The memories delighted her insides. But she knew they didn't have to rush things because they had all night...alone. She also knew Jake was restraining himself, being the perfect gentleman.
Sydney stretched back on the couch, her head resting on the arm, and extended her legs across his lap wiggling her bare feet at him.
“My feet are aching from all that walking today,” she said.
The look he leveled at her sent hotness through her body. He wanted her. She loved the idea of that.
She wiggled her feet, continuing the teasing torture. When Jake’s hands found her feet and his thick fingers dug into her skin, she hadn't expected it to feel so good. Her eyes closed as he massaged his thumb into the arch of her foot, soothing it in a way she hadn't known she needed.
Wow.
He moved to her ankle causing jealousy from her feet. Share, she thought, smiling as her calf tingled beneath his touch. He took his time on each calf and Sydney felt herself sinking deeper into a trance with each rub. When his hands touched her knees, her breathing became more shallow still.
She felt him lift her legs and peeked to find him turning toward her. Her chest was rising and falling faster. With him kneeling between her legs the urge to pull him against her was too much and she reached for him.
“Slow down,” he said, keeping out of her grasp.
Slow down. Was he nuts!
His hand pressed against her chest, seemingly unfazed that his hands were against her breast. as he gently pushed her back down. All she wanted to do was pull him down with her. Slowly he slid his hand away down her stomach that dipped as he ran his fingers across the material and over the warm area longing for him. He stopped back at her knees, one hand on each gently rubbing.
“I have stared, watched and longed to touch these legs for years,” he said as his the attention of both hands moved to one thigh.
She grinned. “My legs?”
He nodded, gently digging his fingertips into her skin. It felt wonderful. She wanted those fingers higher, under her dress.
“The summer is brutal with you wearing dresses and flaunting your legs.”
“Flaunting?” She laughed.
“You think it's funny but...” He pushed her dress up over her right leg and touched her scar.
Ugh. Sydney grabbed his hand to move it away. Of all the places he could touch why did he touch there, a rippled piece of unattractive skin scarred from the accident.
“Hey,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it. “Don't be like that. I like every part of you.”
He let her hand go and went back to her scar.
She stiffened.
“Sydney.”
“What?”
“It's beautiful.”
She scoffed. “It's not beautiful.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
The accident? Not at this current moment while you’re rubbing me whole body down. “No.”
“You've never told me about the accident.”
Why was he talking about the accident now when his fingers were playing havoc with her body. Here she thought she was teasing him by making him massage her feet. The tables had turned on her, because she felt like his touch was driving her wild.
“You never asked.”
“I'm asking now.”
Now? Now! Why are you asking now?
“Why were you all in that vehicle?”
“I thought you didn't want to talk about Kyle and me.” She didn't want to talk about it at all. She wanted him to move his hand from that area and continue right up her legs.
His face went serious. “That was the night my dad died.” The sadness in his voice pulled at her heart and her legs could wait for his touch another time. Maybe later in the evening or maybe another day, they had their whole lives. Each puzzle piece of their lives was fitting perfectly together.
She sat up with her legs on either side of him and took his hands in hers. It wasn’t like Jake to ask about the past. She hoped this would make him feel closer to her as she had with their time at the beach. She wanted to share this part of her life with him.
“We were going to get you,” she told him. “Kyle showed up at my house and he was determined he knew where to find you. A part of me lit up that night at the thought of bringing you home.” A part of Kyle had lit up too. “Your dad was at the car waiting on the driver’s side. We climbed in anyway. Kyle was determined to leave. I just wanted to find
you. I don't remember everything they said but there was arguing and fighting. They knew something I didn't and weren't about to share it. They were talking in code. But your dad promised Kyle that you were safe and that someone was watching over you and would bring you home when they could. I don't know what he was talking about, but he was driving us in circles. That infuriated Kyle and then it all happened so quickly and I woke up in the hospital.”
She’d watched his face while she spoke. He turned away from her, and he went rigid, his eyes drifting off into the distance. She knew what he was thinking as guilt played with his features. She liked this side of Jake−not hiding behind the mask he wore daily. For the first time since he left all those years ago, she also knew she could talk to him about it maybe even help him move past it.
She touched his cheek, noting he'd let his five o’ clock shadow fill in again. Like her legs, she'd been tortured to touch the side of his face for the last few years.
“Jake, stop blaming yourself for their death.” Sydney knew he carried that blame from the day he’d first met Haylee, and also learned of his father’s death. The look on his face for both moments were one in the same.
He sent her a look that said not blaming himself wasn't possible.
“You wouldn't blame your mother or Adalyn for their deaths and they were the reason you left. So why do you blame yourself? Your father would never want you to blame yourself.”
“If I had stayed home they would have lived. What did I accomplish when I left? Nothing. Mom and Adalyn stayed. If I had listened to my dad...”
“If I had listened to my mom I wouldn't have ended up pregnant at sixteen or broke my arm when I was five years old. We can't foresee what our actions will do. Maybe sometimes we should have listened better and other times not at all.” She wouldn’t trade the difficult upbringing of Haylee through her teenage years for anything. “But you didn't leave to hurt them. That wasn't your intention. You didn't know if you left they would chase after you and end up in a crash and die. You couldn't have known and you can't blame yourself.”
Lakeshore Love: The McAdams Sisters (By The Lake Book 3) Page 11