Break their hearts? He didn't even know them. What in the hell was she talking about?
“What am I supposed to do with them? Take them home with me?”
She smirked. He was glad this was amusing to her, because he was ready to blow a gasket. “No Jake. You live above a bar. You can’t take children to live above a bar.” Did she just stifle a laugh?
See, that's how good at this I am going to be. I need to find my mother or my sister and give these children back. They don’t have a chance with me.
Deep in the back of his brain he wondered what kind of chance they had with either of those women too. He pushed those thoughts away. He couldn’t contemplate them at the present moment when time was an issue. He’d already wasted the first moments when Beth left, which would have been the easiest to locate her.
“You can go look for Beth. But, when you are finished you must come back. Don’t leave these children here in a strange house to wake up with three stranger’s.”
“I‘m a stranger.”
“You are their family.”
He glared at her.
She arched her eyebrows. “You can flash me any little angry look you want, but you are coming back tonight.” He wanted to come back to her tonight, but that wasn’t what she was offering. “Go look for your mom and when you are finished, check the bar, pack a change of clothes and come back here. For the night.” Was that an invitation?
Sydney’s hands wrapped around his, damp and cold from being caught in the rain earlier. How he could have warmed her if all this hadn’t interrupted them.
“Jake you're not alone. I'm here, but if you leave tonight the children will be alone and scared.” Her eyes fell into the living room, where all three sets of eyes had closed. “They need you,” she whispered.
***
JAKE OBEYED SYDNEY’S orders. He drove around town checking other local bars, hotels and restaurants hoping to find his mother. Just his luck, Beth was nowhere to be found. He checked in at the Cliff House, relieved to find everything running smoothly. He was grateful to not be dragged every which direction for situations when he didn’t have the energy to deal with any of them. It was mid-week and busy but it wasn’t the weekend crowd so there were fewer problems.
Jake grabbed a change of clothes from his place and found himself parked out front of Sydney's house, thankful the storm had stopped and he was partially dry.
The only light from Sydney’s house was streaking from a break in the living room curtains.
He thought if he sat there long enough Sydney would peek out the window. She never did. Disappointment gripped him. What if being dragged into this part of his life changed her mind about him? That thought terrified him and a shudder ran through his body.
He didn't know how long he sat there not wanting to go inside. That was a first. Sydney’s house was always warm and welcoming, it was as close to a real home he’d felt since his dad died. He’d hardly been able to stay away all day, and had practically run through the doors that evening wanting to see, touch, and be with Sydney.
Now there were three kids expecting him to keep them and the fear that Sydney had given up on him already, like she had the first time he left, caused him to pause. Don’t go there.
When Jake finally climbed from his bike he found the front door unlocked. He didn’t like that when Beth was being so discreet about the situation. Who knew what kind of danger she’d gotten into now?
Sydney, Haylee and Joan’s voice came from the kitchen. Jake would have preferred to walk in to only Sydney, so they could continue where they left off...if she still wanted that.
“This is exactly what Henry always feared would happen,” Joan was saying. It irritated him that Joan was dipping her nose in something that had absolutely nothing to with her, but he wasn’t surprised. She had always dipped her nose into everything, that was how she latched onto his father...by dipping her nose into his parent’s personal affairs. “Jake or Adalyn falling into that awful woman’s world of drugs. Now Adalyn has dragged her children into it. What is Jake going to do with two girls and a boy?” That was a very good question.
“Joan.” Sydney's voice was full of compassion that relaxed Jake’s nerves...a bit. “Jake will take care of them.” That wasn’t the reassuring answer Jake was hoping for.
“How is he going to take care of them?” That was also a plausible question. “They are being forced on him.” That was true. “He doesn't want them.” That wasn’t even up for discussion; he would do what he needed to do for these children it wasn’t a matter of wanting them or not because they were Adalyn’s children. “He's not father material.” Whoa, whoa, whoa...that was jumping to conclusions. “And that older one. Hmm, no respect there.” He couldn’t defend the older child’s saucy tongue, however he didn’t like Joan’s implications about her, about any of them.
“Maybe he will find their mom,” Haylee suggested, giving a little hope. Unfortunately tonight that hadn’t been the case. “Or their grandma.”
“That wouldn't be much better,” Joan snickered. “Did you see the children? They look starved and sick.”
“Honestly.” Sydney was sounding a bit exasperated and Jake was beginning to feel guilty for his eavesdropped, but he would call it square after the three of them eavesdropping on him earlier. He didn’t blame them, just the sight of his mother would grab anyone’s curiosity. She was in the worse shape he’d ever seen her. Finally all her addictions had caught up to her body. It was a sad sight that broke his heart after all the time he had spent to coax her away from that lifestyle.
“Stop all these assumptions and worries. Everything will be fine. We are Jake’s family. The three of us and we will be there for him, so he will be fine. They can stay here...”
“What do you mean stay here?” Joan’s shocked voice cried, causing a half smile across Jake’s face.
“I mean Jake and the kids can stay here. He can't very well take them to stay above the bar.”
“That's if he even comes back.” Did everyone think he was a ticking time-bomb ready to explode at any given moment?
“He will come back.” Why did Sydney's tone not match her words? He told her he wouldn’t leave, he promised and he was standing by his promise. He would never make that mistake with Sydney again, the consequences of his departure thirteen years ago hadn’t been acknowledged until it was too late.
Joan made a sound indicating that she didn't believe Sydney. Jake had the urge to turn around and walk right out the door. He didn’t need this shit right now. Where was the step-mother he’d spent the weekend with? No doubt Beth’s appearance was causing havoc in her too.
“It’s temporary until he sorts this out,” Sydney said. Temporary? Temporary! What had been transpiring in her room? Was that temporary to her? No, it wouldn’t be. She wasn’t the type of woman to allow a man into her bed temporarily. Why was she using that word?
“Hopefully he finds Beth and Adalyn. If not, maybe he will have to adopt the children and buy a new house.” Why couldn’t they all live together here? He was rushing. He was feeling frustrated listening to this whole damn conversation when all he wanted was to walk into Sydney’s arms. “We don't know what’s going to happen, so let’s stop creating what if’s.”
“This is ridiculous!” Joan snapped, obviously not liking where this situation was headed.
“Haylee, can you give us a second?” Sydney said.
Jake was about to step back, but where would he go?
Haylee walked into the hallway, looked directly at him and smiled, understanding and supportive. Anyone could see this young woman was Sydney’s daughter with her soft eyes and kind heart. Haylee climbed the stairs without giving him away and her bedroom door shut behind her.
“Joan, I love you.” Sydney was saying. “But I expect you to be supportive of Jake. I would never turn my back on Jake. Ever.” That was a relief. Maybe there was hope for them after all this.
Being busted anyway Jake slipped his boots off and
dropped them with loud thump to warn the women he'd returned.
Sydney's warm smile popped out of the kitchen. “Hi,” she said, filled with relief at his return. “Any luck?”
He shook his head.
Joan appeared shortly after. “I'm going to bed.” She didn’t even look at Jake and went straight up the path Haylee had just climbed.
Sydney looked down at the bag in his hand and more relief danced in those eyes.
“Did you think I wasn't coming back?”
She flushed, looking embarrassed. “You've been gone for hours. It's almost one.” It hadn't felt like that long.
“Let me take that.” She reached for his bag. Their hands brushed and she gasped. “Jake, you're freezing. Come into the kitchen and I will get you something warm to drink.”
“It's late.”
If she heard him she didn’t let it show, dropping his bag at the bottom of the stairs then heading into the kitchen.
Jake turned the opposite direction. He stood hovering above the pull out sofa and stared. The girls looked just like his sister. They had her dirty blonde hair as a child, the color, not the greasy strands these kids had. They needed a good hose down. They needed a good mother...their mother. Was their mother good? Adalyn hadn’t listened to him all those years ago, what made him think even if he did find her that she would listen now? It would seem she hadn’t been taking care of these kids, and then giving them to the Queen of Destruction herself, his mother, was not the wisest choice for the children. But still, what was he going to do with them?
Jake felt Sydney's hands graze across his forearm and felt the blaze scorch through his body.
“It will be alright Jake.”
He turned and the affection he saw guided his hands to the sides of her face and his lips came crashing down on hers. An expected gasp escaped her mouth and he swallowed it up hard and needy. He didn't take his time like he had been hours ago. It was hard and needy and he just needed to forget everything and this woman could make him do that.
Chapter Twenty-Two
SYDNEY HADN'T BEEN ready for his kiss. She hadn't expected it. When he crashed down on her lips so hard, in comparison to the soft sweet way he'd kissed her earlier, she knew he wasn't kissing her for her. He was venting.
He was strong and quick and before she knew it they were back in her bedroom and her back was being slammed against the closet door. He'd lifted her into his arms with a grace that she hadn’t even noticed. Until her legs, having a mind of their own, wrapped around his middle like she never wanted to let go. She didn’t ever want to let go.
Her lips were kissing him back, taking in his tongue and she was pulling him against her. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, but not like this. Not when he was using her as a distraction to avoid his current situation.
Sydney moved away from his mouth, panting heavily and sucking in deep breaths. If she wasn’t convinced he was only venting, she would have thoroughly enjoyed this sexual, dark side of him. But her brain knew better. Her lips objected, her hands objected, the area pressed against his hardness was straight out yelling at her. “Jake,” she breathed.
He was so busy kissing her neck...and it felt wonderful...that he didn’t answer. But it wasn’t because he wanted her, it was because he needed a distraction. He was using her as a distraction. Couldn’t he see that?
“Jake.” She grabbed the side of his face and pulled him to look her. She saw clouds of desire for her, confusion as to why they stopped, and, as she’d suspected, the real reasons he’d carried her into her room: avoidance.
“We can't do this.” The words tasted awful in her mouth.
He stared at her as though he couldn’t comprehend the words.
“I'm sorry. I can't do this.” Not like this! Not when you have a plate full of your family drama and dragged me in here to vent. I will not be your venting tool! Your punching bag from the gym.
He let her go. Disappointment surged through her as his strong arms retracted and she slid to her feet, using the door to prop her into a standing position. She felt so small with him towering above her and casting confusing looks in her direction.
“You're blocking the door.” A cold-stone tone sliced into her already aching body.
“Please, don't be mad.” Tell him to spend the night with you. She couldn’t bring the words up with him starting at her so angry.
“I'm not mad.” He was furious, she could see it in his straightened posture and dark lowered eyes, the way his throat was pulsing.
“Jake...”
“Do you want me in here or not?”
Yes. No.
“I don't want you to leave angry.”
“I don't want to leave at all.” Those words were beautiful to her ears. Let him stay and simply hold him on your bed.
Sydney stepped aside and he went storming out.
Sydney! Go get him back. Go talk to him. Go lie with him.
She held the door open, expecting to hear him slam the front door on his way out of her house.
He didn't.
She stood there for a long time, standing in the doorway, staring down the hall where he’d disappeared into the living room with his family. She had left blankets on the chair for him in case he wanted to watch over them for the night. Jake was protective and she’d figured that was where he would want to be.
Once they both got sleep, he would realize what he had been doing...wouldn’t he? Or would he be too enthralled in his family to care.
When the lights shut off and the door still hadn't slammed shut, she walked to her bed and stared down at it thinking maybe she had made a mistake. No matter what he was feeling at the present time, it didn’t take away from what he promised. A promise he made before his family showed up and she watched the old Jake surface. Was that what she was truly afraid of? That he was going to backtrack down a road where she would lose him?
Ugh! It was all too confusing to contemplate at this hour. She wanted to walk down the hall and bring him back, but instead she wrapped the blankets with his light scent on them around herself and went to sleep.
***
JAKE COLLAPSED IN the arm chair and pulled the blanket he knew Sydney set out for him across his exhausted body. So he was never sleeping in her bedroom. He’d been right. His life’s darkness was too much for her. No matter what her supporting words had been to Joan, they were only intended on a level of friendship, even possibly a level of family, but not the family way he wanted.
The long hours he had been scoping the town for his mother had given her time to speculate a life with him. His mother’s arrival, no doubt, just reminded her of who exactly he was: a messed up nobody.
It will be alright, Sydney had whispered in his ear. With her by his side everything would always be right, but now he realized that was never going to happen. To make matters worse, he was stuck here, in her house, on her damn uncomfortable chair, because he lived above a bar.
Dammit. Why didn’t he suggest he could take them to the cabin? You know why. Yeah, because he wanted to come back to her, back to Sydney.
He had to find Adalyn and Beth as quickly as possible to get these kids out of Sydney’s house. First thing in the morning, he was leaving.
Chapter Twenty-Three
SYDNEY WAS RIPPED from her dreams in a panic and her feet took her down the hall, finding the corner chair in the living room empty, just as she’d worried.
Her stomach dropped.
She pushed the curtain hanging over the large bay window aside and found Jake’s Harley gone. Before six in the morning? She hadn't even heard him go.
Sprawled out on her sofa were three little babes fast asleep and unaware they would be waking up without the uncle they were expecting and needing.
She needed Jake too. She needed him to reassure her and take away this feeling overtaking her body as she remembered all those years ago waking up just like this and finding him gone. It was her fault. She shouldn’t have pushed him away last night. He had nee
ded her, but her fear of this whole confusing situation scared her.
Sydney grabbed the stinky, dirty bag off the floor in the hallway. At least it was summer and the children weren't missing school...if they were even enrolled in school. Who knew what these poor helpless children had endured.
After brewing a pot of coffee, she was usually a tea morning drinker but she needed strong black coffee, she carried her mug in one hand and the bag with the fingertips of her other hand to the laundry room.
The bag consisted of hardly anything: a few dresses, a boys outfit and underwear. It was enough to get them changed when they awoke. She dropped everything in the washer and cleansed her hands before retrieving her coffee the only thing that was going to keep her going for the day.
All night she’d awakened wondering if Jake had snuck out. Embarrassed to admit, she had even crept down the hall a few times to check that the chair had still been occupied. Then, when her body couldn’t handle the exhaustion, she’d fallen into such a deep sleep that she awoke in a panic, ripping her from her dreams. Her fears had come true: Jake was gone.
Hopefully he was out looking for his mother and sister. What time had he left? Where had he gone? Would he be safe?
Sydney was glad she wasn't opening the shop today. She’d arranged it that way, presuming Jake was spending the night...in her bed...with her. What another disappointment.
It was Saturday and Haylee would be going to the shop at lunch to work for a couple hours. If Jake wasn't back by then, Sydney was going to walk up with her daughter and take the kids to the beach for the day. They needed a distraction. She needed a distraction.
Sydney took her tea and leaned against the archway in the kitchen, staring down at the children Jake had pawned off on her to go find his family. She didn’t mind, she hoped he found them and resolved this matter quickly and easily. Jake deserved happiness and peace. It seemed whenever Beth was involved he ended up with neither but a bag of guilt he carried around instead.
Lakeshore Love: The McAdams Sisters (By The Lake Book 3) Page 15