“Well, something happened or else you wouldn’t be changing your mind about us?”
“What us? There was never an us.”
She didn’t like that way he said that and sent him a glare. “There was an us in my bedroom.”
“Your bedroom was a mistake.”
“It wasn’t a mistake. Jake, stop it. Where is this coming from? You followed me onto a boat for crying out loud to win me over and bared your soul before taking care of me and now you’re calling it all a mistake? Talk to me now. Don’t shut me out.”
This was her fighting for him just like she said she would. He’d come prepared with the big guns to ward her off.
Sydney continued her fight for him and he knew he was going to push her away, but he savored her strong feelings that she felt were worth fighting...for him. “I don’t believe you. Not after everything that we have gone through to get here. Tell me what’s going on. Tell me what happened while you were gone that has scared you.”
Your safety. Your future. I’m not scared...I’m terrified!
“I’m tired of always having to explain myself to you,” he practically yelled at her and she jumped startled, but not afraid of him like others would be if he raised his voice in that tone.
“I thought I felt something for you all these years and finally this morning we were connected,” he paused because the words were so harsh but needed, so he pulled out the courage. “There was nothing there. I didn’t feel it like I thought I would. I mean the sex was good, but I didn’t feel that connection between us that I was convinced I would.” I felt it, I’m so sorry, Syd. I didn’t need to make love to you to feel that connection. “I think maybe ten years of waiting for the real thing just didn’t live up to the expectations. We are better as friends, you and me. You know what I’m saying?”
He watched every word cut the confusion away from her face and dig deep hurt throughout.
This is better for you baby I promise. I’m sorry it has to be like this.
“Loud and clear.” She pushed her hands against his chest away from him. Thank goodness. He didn't know how long he could hold up this gig.
Before she stood, her hand sliced through the air and made contact with his cheek and surprisingly, for the tiny little thing she was, his face stung like a son of a bitch.
“Screw you Jake.”
He deserved it, but he had hoped they wouldn't fight like this. She was usually rational and sweet. He really made her angry as she stomped with her bare feet away from him.
He caught up to her in front of the house where the dim porch light cast a glow across them. He touched her arm. He didn’t know why or what he would say, he was just having a hard time seeing her so mad.
She yanked out of his grasp and spun. “No!”
She turned and stormed up the wooden stairs. They creaked below each foot. At the top, she turned to face his frozen body. He wasn't exactly sure what to do.
“The kids will be fine with me for the night and tomorrow, but you're not welcome to stay the night Jake.”
He could see her better with the porch light casting a glow across her face. She was ready to cry. He'd made her cry.
“You know Jake, I know what you’re doing. You think you’re outsmarting me, trying to convince me all that garbage you said yesterday is true when the truth is you’re hiding from something.” So close Sydney. “And I want to fight for you, but I don’t think I can win this one. I love you Jake. I want the future together that I know would be great, but if you need me to let you go, I will.”
As she said the words, he had to build a shield around his heart to deflect them or he would march up those stairs and kiss her. She was right on, but it still didn’t change the fact that a life with him wouldn’t be easy and could be even dangerous.
“Let me go.”
“Just walk away,” she said sounding hopeless. “It's what you do best.”
Chapter Thirty
SYDNEY TEXTED HER sisters and arranged a girl’s night out. It was last minute but she needed it after all the ups and downs Jake had been playing. Unfortunately, only Abby could make it.
Peyton complained about being too fat to go to a bar and Kate used the Rosemary card...Sydney definitely didn’t hold that against her since Rosemary had just come back into her life this year.
Let him go. Let him go! Fine, she would let him go, but first she was going to shove exactly what he was walking away from in his face. Walking away, that should be Jake Stow’s middle name: Jake Walk Away Stow. Idiot.
Abby was thrilled to join her and she showed up at the front doors of the Cliff House with Isabelle Caliendo on her arm.
“Sydney!” she called waving and picking up her pace in the black stilettos she was wearing. In her skin-tight black mini dress with a hollow collar, Abby looked sexy. Super-hot sexy, making the dress Sydney chose to wear look Plain Jane. Sydney had tried so hard too, picking out the shortest dress with a plunging neckline.
Then her eyes fell to Isabelle who was also sporting a super sexy black dress and Sydney just felt old.
Abby greeted her with a hug and looked her over. “You look...cute.”
That was not what she was going for.
“Hey Izzy we will meet you in there,” she called. Isabelle nodded and was already having a conversation with some random guy on her way in the door.
“Are we here to give a Jake a little show?”
Sydney blushed. Was it that obvious? Abby didn’t have details and Sydney did not fill her in.
Abby grinned. “That's what I thought. Did something happen?” Everything happened. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Sydney shook her head.
“Alright well this isn't gonna work.” She waved a hand over Sydney’s outfit. “Come on, I have some spare clothes in my car.” Spare clothes in the car? Who did that?
Sydney didn't argue and followed her sister. Abby popped the trunk and pulled out a pair of skinny black pants, which she pulled on under her dress.
“Abby!”
“What?” She shrugged and looked around. “I'm not naked.”
Abby grabbed a large black knitted off the shoulder studded top and put it over the dress and with amazing talent she slipped the dress off from under the top and handed it to Sydney with a smile. “Put this on.”
“Where?”
“Right here. In the back seat. I don't care.”
Sydney wasn’t about to strip in the parking lot so she climbed into the back seat of the car and, feeling even more like a foolish teenager, she awkwardly changed into the skin tight dress that pulled and tugged her every curve.
She climbed out and Abby dangled an extra pair of black stilettos in front of her.
“Who has an extra wardrobe in their vehicle?” Sydney asked, leaving her cowboy boots in the back seat and slipping into the three inch heels that boosted her high into the air.
“You never know when you might need extras.” Abby stepped back and examined Sydney with a nod of approval. “Now you're hot.”
“I feel underdressed.”
“You look amazing. Jake will be regretting every dumbass word he said.”
Sydney was beginning to wonder if this was a good idea.
“Just wait.” Abby pulled Sydney’s side low ponytail out and ran her fingers through her hair, tousling it all over. She whistled. “Damn sister, you're looking better than me.”
Sydney swatted her sister playfully. “Yeah right.”
“You do.”
Sydney didn’t believe her. “Well we better get a drink in me before I change my mind.”
“Let's get two.” Abby grabbed her hand.
***
“SYDNEY IS IN the house,” Chuck called, nudging his head toward the door.
Jake didn't see Sydney at first. He saw her sister Abby and two blonde friends but it wasn’t until the one blonde turned that his jaw hit the floor.
Sydney? Sydney! He even had to do a double take because he'd never seen her wear anything so...provocat
ively sexy hot. Then he noticed he wasn’t the only guy in the house ogling the blonde beauty. Her longer than long legs carried her through his bar in such a skin tight dress it was almost as if she wasn't wearing anything at all.
Her drinking buddies were Isabelle and Abby. That was a bad combination, but at least they were in his bar.
Two hours later, he regretted that thought. He didn't want to watch Sydney dance, laugh and touch other guys. He certainly didn't want to watch other guys touch her. Even if he'd sent her away for that sole purpose to go find a guy. He hadn't meant for it to be one of these drunken fools and he hadn't meant for her to go out and get drunk!
Did she not remember what happened the last time she had too much to drink? She'd ended up naked in his bed. This time maybe she wouldn't get so lucky. This time? There was not going to be a this time.
“No more for Sydney,” he barked at the staff behind the counter.
“Jake she's only had one cooler and a shot,” Devon challenged.
Jake shot him a look. It wasn't up for debate and Devon took a step back nodding his understanding.
Jake tossed the towel on the counter and pressed his hands against the surface. He felt frustrated. Was he doing the right thing? Of course he was. Then why did if feel so damn wrong?
“That one’s got eyes for you buddy,” Devon said and for a second Jake looked up hoping to find Sydney staring at him, but she was laughing and having a blast without him. Instead, a set of green eyes and a head of long red hair was sending him a look.
He wasn't interested. In fact, he didn't need this shit right now at all. All he wanted was Sydney. If it wasn't Sydney it wasn’t going to be any other woman. Ever.
Jake pushed his way from behind the bar.
“I need a break,” he growled at Devon.
“Sure man I got this covered.”
He glanced at Sydney. “Keep your eye on Sydney and Abby, would ya? Call me if anything is off.”
“Sure thing boss.”
Jake didn't care what Sydney drank, but he wasn't letting her get out of control. If she didn't like it then she could leave. He didn't want her getting into trouble on his watch.
Chapter Thirty-One
“DEVON, ANOTHER ROUND for me and my sister.” Sydney ordered, sliding onto the stool and tapping her hands on the counter in beat with the music.
The music was good, the company was good...it would be better if Jake were there. Sydney shook her head. No more Jake.
“Sorry, Sydney you've been cut off,” Devon told her.
She laughed.
Devon didn't.
“What do you mean cut off? Who cut me off?”
He looked reluctant and before he even said the name, she knew. “Jake.”
Jake? Jake! Why that controlling ass.
“Where is he?”
Devon shrugged as she was sliding off the stool. “Maybe in his office,” he called after her as she stomped her way in that direction.
Cut off! Was he kidding?
If she wanted to drink and get sloshed then she would very well do so and he couldn’t stop her! Even though that was not her plan after what happened last time. However, the comfortable buzz she had was helping to keep her from searching Jake out, which was exactly what she was doing. How confusing.
Sydney didn't bother knocking and shoved his office door open, ready to put up a fight. He wasn't in there.
She almost laughed at how foolish she felt except she was still so damn angry.
Sydney heard Jake’s low murmur down the hall and her body moved to the end that led to his apartment. How dare he just decide they weren't going to be together and then think he could cut her off alcohol. He was sure fooling himself!
Sydney rounded the corner, ready to tell him exactly where to shove it but, at the sight of a red heads lips all over his neck, she lost her voice.
She lost everything. Her broken heart shattered into a hundred pieces and she wondered what this woman had that she didn't besides heels that were six inches too long.
Was this why he didn't want her? Was this what he'd be doing into the late hours at the bar? Bedding other women? He wasn’t lying. She was wrong about him. So terribly wrong.
Sydney couldn’t think. One day after he announced he wasn’t physically attracted to her he was with someone else? One day!
She felt sick. Her stomach lurched and the tears sprang. Coming to the Cliff House had been the worst idea of her life!
***
JAKE GRABBED THE red head’s wrists to stop her from touching him. Just the thought of her fingers where he wanted Sydney’s made his skin crawl. The red head was forceful, drunk and way more aggressive then he'd expected.
Couldn’t he catch a break? All he'd wanted to do was go have a cold shower. Alone. He certainly didn't want to deal with a drunken tourist looking to get laid when his mind couldn't move past Sydney. That's how she ended up all over him so quickly because his thoughts had been on Sydney.
That's when he heard a gasp. And not just any gasp, the tiny inhale of Sydney.
He yanked around the mane of hair, and sure as shit, found Sydney witnessing what he knew by the look of horror on her face was taking it all the wrong way.
When their eyes met even more pain then he'd caused her earlier stared at him as her eyes filled up with water.
Oh, shit.
She turned and took off.
“Sydney wait!” he yelled, which startled the red head away from his neck and he pushed her off, chasing Sydney through the bar.
Her tiny little legs moved so quickly, he didn't catch up to her until she was outside.
***
THE BURST OF fresh air was not freshening and the little alcohol she’d consumed burned up her throat. She leaned over the bush, bringing up all her evening’s food.
Why did I have to come here tonight?
Why was she punishing herself because Jake didn't want her? And now it was worse. Now she was the fool who was watching his family, helping him while he was banging some red-head.
He doesn't want you. He's not yours. And now she knew why.
She needed to get out of here.
“Syd?” She felt Jake’s hands pull her hair up.
She retracted out of his grasp immediately. “Do not touch me!” she yelled, turning and losing her footing on the heels Abby had insisted she wear. She stumbled backwards and landed her rear on the gravel.
He stepped toward her to help and she could see red lipstick across his neck that made her stomach sick.
She held her hand up. “No!” she yelled.
“Syd, you know that's not me. I wouldn't do that.”
“I don't know you at all.”
“She followed me. I was not taking her to my apartment.”
“Clearly you were taking her right there.”
Sydney heard a car rumble into the lot and she scrambled to her feet.
What difference did it make if he was planning on sleeping with her or not? The fact was he didn't want her.
Why was he chasing her into the parking lot? Why was he sending her all these mixed signals? Why had she had any drinks at all tonight!
Tears streamed down her face.
“Sydney I promise I was not going to have sex with that lady there or anywhere. I promise.”
“What does it matter?”
“It matters to me.”
“Are you never going to sleep with another woman?”
“Not tonight.”
She took a deep breath. This was pointless. This whole night had turned out to be a disaster. So much for making him jealous. She had gone and made herself jealous instead. Not only jealous, but completely and utterly heartbroken. She’d thought he was protecting her Jake-style, but now discovering the truth was like a kick in the stomach, a slap across the face, a hard reality that was crushing her heart the longer she stood and stared at him.
In a hopeless tone she said, “And not with me.” The reality stung like a wasp sting and she
wondered if the pain would ever go away. “Night Jake.”
She turned and started toward the beach to go home...alone...and to forget about Jake Stow.
Chapter Thirty-Two
JAKE STORMED INTO the club-house left with no other options. Robbie hadn’t called him with Julian’s phone number and his sister was still missing. He considered calling Jason again, but that would lead to days...months of paperwork and doing everything right. Jake didn’t have that kind of time. He needed to find Adalyn even if this route was likely going to get him killed. His sister wasn’t the only one he was thinking about either.
After last night, and the torture he was putting Sydney through, he knew he had to get all this over with and let her move on without him. The faster, the better.
Nothing had really changed inside the clubhouse, just like nothing had changed outside. It was still dark and grungy with naked women's posters on the wall. There was a bar along the far wall and tables, couches and a pool table filled the room.
Jake knew exactly who he was looking for and exactly where to find him. If his mother had in fact been talking to a man that rhymed with snake, then that was Drake. What was he doing out? What did he want? Who did he want? Jake needed answers.
A couple of guys tried to get in his way as he approached the door, but he was hardly in the mood and drilled each one down with an unexpected punch, then threw the door open.
Jake found the head man of the club-house at the end of the table just as he'd thought. Although he hadn't expected to find a woman sprawled backwards over the table as well, he wasn’t surprised.
Drake looked up, unalarmed, at being barged in on and interrupted in the middle of banging some black-haired tramp. His stare told Jake he was surprised to find Jake Stow interrupting.
Not in any hurry to get rid of the woman in front of him, he casually said. “Well, well, well. Haven't seen this face around in over a decade.”
Just because Drake was in the middle of satisfying his manly needs didn't cause Jake to falter or shy away. He'd come for answers and he was damn well going to get them.
“Where are they?”
Drake slapped the naked behind and sent her on her way while he sat down on the chair and lit a smoke.
Lakeshore Love: The McAdams Sisters (By The Lake Book 3) Page 20