by Emma Nichols
‘I’ll have a water too please,’ Rosa added.
Anna handed them both a tumbler and a bottle of spring water. ‘Come through. Emilie will be so excited to see you.’
*
The delicate sound of chanting filtered into the living room, causing the voices inside the room to quiet. Valerie’s eyes widened, and she reached for Henri’s firm hand for some sense of normality.
‘I think that’s the call for us to move into the room for the ceremony,’ Lauren said, addressing everyone. She led the way.
Aside from Emilie’s mumbled sounds, they entered the tented space in silence and took their seats, which formed a semi-circle around a large bowl of smoking herbs, facing a table upon which lay a range of instruments: bells of different sizes, and two drums. Martine continued to chant oblivious to the guests who had just entered the room. Anna and Lauren sat in the centre of the group, with Emilie taking a position on Anna’s knee.
The chanting stopped suddenly. Emilie continued to chatter, in her own language, drawing a smile from the older people in the room. ‘Welcome,’ Martine greeted the small gathering, in her soft French accent. ‘We are blessed to be here today to celebrate the birth of Emilie. I invite you to think of a personal quality that you would wish for Emilie to help her in her life. Then at the end of the ceremony, you will stand and tell the group the quality you have chosen for her. This is a special gift that only you can give to her.’ Lisa rubbed her hands with glee at the idea. Valerie’s eyes widened, and she paled. Henri put a calming hand on her knee and she grabbed at it like a lifeline. Anna stared into Lauren’s watering eyes and brushed a thumb tenderly over her cheek.
Martine continued. ‘Firstly, I will conduct the cleansing. Please stay seated and I will come around with the herbs and clean you.’ Valerie’s mouth dropped open and Chico stifled a giggle, receiving a nudge in the ribs from Antoine. Martine began to chant again and moved from person to person wafting the fine mist of smoke over them, from head to toe. Lisa entered into a trance, savouring every moment and Vivian sat with her hands clasped in her lap.
Once the cleansing had taken place, Martine reached for the large drum and began to bang in a rhythmical pattern as she walked around the room. ‘I am calling the ancestors to join us,’ she explained. Chico started to snigger again, but the boom of the drum next to his right ear silenced him instantly. Emilie’s eyes widened and followed the banging sound around the room. The drumming ritual continued until the energy in the room had shifted. Valerie had relaxed into the rhythmical sound and was even beginning to enjoy herself.
‘I am going to undertake a blessing now, using the bells and chanting. Please think of the quality you would like for Emilie to grow up with, that will be with her in her lifetime.’ With that, Martine stood behind the table and started to bellow, raising her hands as she spoke. Lauren glanced around the room. Everyone’s eyes were shut, except Emilie’s. She smiled to herself, and keeping one eye on her daughter she pondered the quality she would wish for her to take through her life.
As the bells ceased, each guest was invited to stand and share their quality with the group. Anna’s eyes watered and she couldn’t prevent the tears from falling. Lauren took her hand, also allowing the tears to roll down her cheeks. Chico wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and Valerie cleared her throat before stating her gift.
‘Love,’ she stated emphatically.
Emilie started to wriggle and complain.
‘I love you,’ Lauren whispered into Anna’s ear.
‘Thank you everyone,’ Martine said once they had all given their gift to Emilie. ‘The ceremony is concluded.’ The guests sat in stunned silence for a few moments before Lisa bounded to her feet.
’Magnificent,’ she declared, breaking the trance.
*
‘That was amazing,’ Rosa exclaimed.
‘Awesome,’ Eva said, rising from her seat and nodding her approval of the shamanistic ceremony that had captivated the small group. They were the last to stand, the other guests having already vacated to the living room. ‘I’m still tingling from the bells,’ she added, wrapping an arm around Rosa’s waist and pulling her close. She looked longingly into the dark irises staring back at her. The kiss she planted took Rosa’s breath away.
‘Hey you two,’ Lauren interrupted. ‘Time to cut the cake.’ She ushered them into the living room, just as Anna popped the cork on another bottle of champagne.
Anna shouted, ‘Cheers!’ Her eyes sparkled as she focused on Lauren. She looked stunning, and hot. Her tanned skin and shoulder length curls contrasting perfectly with the white tuxedo. Anna licked her lips. Handing Lauren a flute, her fingers lingered on Lauren’s before she released the glass to her. ‘Mmm,’ she whispered, her hot breath causing the hairs on Lauren’s neck to rise.
Lauren’s face was flushed when Anna moved away, and she took a long sip of the fizzy drink, which did nothing to quench the thirst pinching in the back of her throat. The bubbles tickled her, resulting in a light cough.
Rosa smiled knowingly at the display, squeezing the hand that rested in her own. She knew how Lauren felt. She turned her eyes to find Eva staring straight at her. The message was clear. Heat rose to her face and she too struggled to breathe. She took the offered flute of champagne. Eva declined, and Rosa put her untouched drink on the mantelpiece. She smiled coyly at Eva. Then, suddenly she was thrust out of the trance by the rhythmical, banging of a drum.
The room went silent and all eyes were on Martine as she underwent a ritual of blessing for the cake. Chico raised his brows and tried not to laugh, squirming when Antoine poked him in the ribs with his elbow for a second time. Valerie started humming along to the sound, much to Lauren’s amusement. Emilie’s eyes widened at the now familiar sound and she mumbled her own words, clinging on to Lisa as she watched, until the point at which Martine started dancing around the room waving feathers, which resulted in her chuckling merrily and pointing a finger at the strange movements. As the ritual came to an end, Lauren picked up the sharp blade and sliced through the cake.
‘I want you,’ Eva breathed into Rosa’s ear, as they waited for a plate to come their way.
Rosa swallowed hard. ‘Let’s go home,’ she whispered, with a tilt of her head.
‘Soon,’ Eva responded.
‘Thanks,’ Rosa said, in a slightly broken voice, taking the offered cake from a tutting, but grinning Anna.
29.
Rosa stared at the screen of medical data, finding it hard to concentrate and unable to wipe the beaming smile from her face. Her thoughts drifted to Eva, the christening ceremony, and the time they had spent together since she had turned up at the hotel in London. She clicked on a couple of keys before stopping, standing, and gazing out the window. Lost in a dream of the future, the pinging of her phone thrust her out of her reverie. Warmth invaded her body at the message.
I love you xx
She smiled, responding to the text with her own declaration of love. Admonishing herself for her mental absence, she sat back in her seat and began the process of going through her mail. Her interest was piqued at the manila envelope. Her name was hand-written, the hospital address wasn’t written out in full and it hadn’t been franked by the postal services. She ripped open the seal with vigour and reached inside, pulling out the contents. Four photographs dropped from her hand, and she stopped breathing. No, no, no. She gulped for air, but the feeling of strangulation increased with every second that passed. The word repeated itself like a mantra playing out in her mind. Surely there was a mistake. She couldn’t bring herself to touch the images that seemed to ram the facts into her face. Even the obscured photos were too painful to reveal. She stood as if to remove herself from the scene staring up at her. Who was being kissed she couldn’t make out. But the one doing the kissing was very clear. Eva!
Rosa’s hands shook as she picked up the top image, revealing a second that was equally as disturbing. Spreading out the four pictures, she studied them
, working hard not to allow her legs to buckle beneath her. She slumped into the chair, fighting the tears that vied with the rising anger in her chest. They collided in the lump in her throat, making it hard for her to swallow. The door to her office opened at the same time as the knock that jolted her eyes towards Dee, but her mind was engaged in an entirely different awareness.
Dee stopped in her tracks. Their relationship had suffered, for sure, as a result of her actions against Eva, but right now, if looks could kill she would have been struck down dead. ‘Are you okay?’ she asked, tentatively moving inside the room, and shutting the door. Rosa’s mouth opened, but no words came out. The shaking in her hands had reached the rest of her body. She was shuddering violently. ‘Rosa, what’s happened?’ Feeling more reassured that her life wasn’t under imminent threat Dee rushed towards Rosa, and knelt facing her. Her eyes were drawn to the images adorning the table and she swallowed down hard, unsure of what to say. She took Rosa’s hands in her own, and rubbed her thumbs across their backs. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she offered, even though she could have predicted the turn of events.
‘I…’ Rosa started to speak, but the choking sensation in the back of her throat stopped her. Dee pulled Rosa into her arms and Rosa let her, albeit she rested stiffly. Rosa tried to process the new reality and pulled back sharply. ‘Did you do this?’ she asked. The anger in her voice caused Dee to stand abruptly and back off.
‘No.’ Dee said, her tone quieter, her face flushing with the idea that it was something she might be accused of, given her history with Eva. ‘No, I didn’t,’ she said, more firmly. ‘I really am sorry Rosa.’ Dee’s eyes lowered to the floor as she grappled with how to handle the situation. She wanted to exit the room, but she couldn’t leave Rosa in a state of distress. ‘How can I help?’ she offered.
Tears had already started to fall down Rosa’s cheeks as her eyes re-focused on the images in front of her. Disbelief warred with the possibility that the pictures of Eva in a clearly impassioned kiss actually reflected the reality of the situation. Surely not? The words pursued Rosa. After their recent time together, how could this be true? Yet, the images were dated, and were taken on the day Eva returned from London. Rosa studied the photographs further. It looked like early morning. Eva had said she would be arriving on the early flight and going into work. It hadn’t mattered that she wasn’t able to see Rosa first, since Rosa had needed to be in work for 6am. But who was this woman? As Rosa played out the scene over and over, her heart sank deeper and deeper, until the feeling of disgust rose within her. She threw the pictures back into the envelope and held her head in her hands. ‘Give me a moment,’ she said. Dee nodded, standing perfectly still. Rosa breathed deeply and allowed the long breath out slowly. She repeated the process several times and then stood. ‘I need to get to work,’ she said, and marched out of the room.
*
Eva sat at the kitchen table sipping at her morning coffee, checking her emails. She had risen not long after Rosa left for the hospital, having kept her in bed for as long as she could get away with. That thought brought a smile to her face and as she sipped the heat caught her lip. Ouch. With nothing urgent that needed dealing with, she shut the laptop and stood. She finished the last of the espresso and packed her rucksack with the files she needed to drop off with Carine. The business had been going well in her short absence. For all her faults, Carine certainly knew her stuff. Eva smiled as she shut the front door, immediately missing the scent of the town house that was now home, and ambled into the wet Paris morning. Hoping onto the Metro, she made her way the short distance to the stop that served both the office and Carine’s flat. Knocking on the door, she became aware of the sound of raised voices coming from inside, one of which was getting louder.
The door swung open. Eva recognised the face from one of the pictures she had seen lying around the flat. The jet-black haired woman assessed her through almond shaped eyes. She wasn’t smiling. Eva could see Carine approaching behind the shorter woman and smiled weakly. ‘Hi,’ she said with as much warmth as she could muster, trying to placate the clearly fractious situation she had intruded upon.
‘And you are?’ The woman asked in a soft American accent. She was clearly aware that Carine and this woman knocking on their door knew each other.
‘Sorry, I’m Eva,’ Eva responded, holding out a hand. The woman took it. Her grip was soft, and in contrast with the atmosphere she had been party to creating with Carine.
‘Eva, hello.’ Carine’s eyes were on Eva’s, delivering a message she didn’t understand, even though her tone seemed pleasing enough. She never used the word hello with her, Eva noted.
‘Tori,’ the dark-haired woman said, by way of introduction. Her tone had softened, and the fact that Carine had what appeared to be a hand tenderly caressing the small of the woman’s back didn’t go unnoticed to Eva.
Eva took a half-pace backwards. ‘Look, I’m sorry to have disturbed you,’ she started. ‘I bought the files over. I didn’t expect…’
‘It’s okay, I’ll take them,’ Carine interrupted her, stepping in front of Tori, staring intensely at Eva to get the message and go. Carine offered her hand and Eva placed the files from the rucksack in it. ‘I’ll catch you later then?’ she asked, turning to leave.
Carine took a pace back into the flat. ‘I’ll be in around 10,’ she said.
‘Nice meeting you,’ Tori said, but Carine was already closing the door. The sound of raised voices followed Eva out of the building.
Eva wandered out onto the street feeling confused. Carine had said that Tori and she had split up some time ago. If it wasn’t for the raised voices she might have assumed that they were back together again. Shaking her head, trying to find an explanation for Carine’s strange behaviour, she made her way down the street.
Eva clicked at the keys on her phone with a smile that lit up her face. She watched her screen for a while waiting, hoping, for a response before reaching the conclusion that Rosa must be in theatre. The thought of not being able to see or touch Rosa for at least another eight-hours caused a wave of disappointment to pass through her. Maybe she would make a surprise visit about lunchtime, after her meeting with Charlie? She pondered the idea, enjoying the feeling of excitement that it brought. She would have to accept that Rosa might be in theatre though. Having agreed with herself she could handle it if Rosa couldn’t see her, she skipped her way through the park.
*
‘So, she’s the latest,’ Tori accused, thrusting out of Carine’s grip and storming her way into the living room.
‘No, she’s not,’ Carine screamed after her, her arms flailing above her head as if doing so might make her defence more believable.
Tori stopped and stared incredulously at her girlfriend. ‘When will you stop yourself from lying, Carine?’ she asked, the calmness in her voice reaching deeper than any screaming rant could ever hope to penetrate.
Carine’s arms lowered, and she turned away sharply. ‘You bitch,’ she said, feeling the pain of the knife that had been firmly implanted by the words. ‘You…’
‘I what?’ Tori asked, not waiting for an answer. ‘I drove you to it. Oh for fuck sake Carine, grow up. I didn’t drive you to anything.’
Carine turned to face the dark eyes and thinning lips, with her own thunderous glare. ‘You had an affair,’ she spat, her skin darkened by the rage fuelling her.
Tori’s head was shaking gently back and forth as she watched Carine’s display of anger. She crossed her arms and breathed in deeply. ‘Is that the story you keep telling any poor bastard who will listen to you?’ Again, the calm delivery struck Carine and she started to shake.
‘It’s fucking true and you know it,’ Carine bellowed. Picking up the nearest thing to hand, she threw it in Tori’s direction.
Tori ducked effortlessly and turned to see her mobile phone connect with the open brick-styled wall, missing the window by inches. The phone fell to the floor, the screen smashed. Tori turned and made a move towar
ds Carine, but then stopped. ‘You will pay for that,’ she said, pointing to the device before going and picking it up from the floor. ‘You need some serious help,’ she said, walking past Carine and out into the hallway.
‘Fuck off,’ Carine shouted.
Tori stopped and looked back towards Carine. It still touched her deeply to see the woman she loved in such pain. But there was only so much she could take, and Carine seemed to be getting worse the older she got. In the beginning, her self-deception had been part of the game they had played together, but the closer she had become to Carine, the more she had realised there was more to it than the role-playing that had drawn them together. Carine didn’t seem to know where to stop and the lies had started to impact their life together. Taking the job in New York had provided the space that they both needed. But Tori had never strayed, even though she had had the opportunity to do so on many occasions. The latest trip had taken its toll though. They hadn’t been apart for this length of time before now, and this homecoming had been far from pleasurable.
‘We’re done,’ Tori said. Turning, she walked into the bedroom and started to pack.
*
Eva’s plan to surprise Rosa hadn’t materialised, having needed to spend longer with Charlie than she had originally thought. She stopped by the local store on the way back to Rosa’s and picked up a range of ingredients. She would make them something fun to eat.
Turning the key in the lock, something irked her. She stepped into the hallway and placed the bags on the floor. The light was on in the kitchen and she wandered through the door. Her heart hit the back of her throat at the sight of Rosa sitting on the floor, leaning against the fridge. She was swigging from a newly opened bottle of wine. ‘Jesus Rosa, what’s happened?’ The voice full of concern met with a stern glare.
Rosa threw the envelope at Eva, who stumbled backwards, grabbing the work surface for support. ‘Don’t deny it. I don’t think I could stand that.’ Rosa said.