by Shouji Gatou
“The radicals had holed up inside with hostages... my squad was sent to neutralize the situation, fumo. It was a tough operation, but we managed to rescue the civilians and beat up all the terrorists, fumo.”
“Hmm...” Seiya was curious about the “beat up” part, but inquiring would probably derail the story, so he decided against it.
“The operation was a success,” Moffle went on. “But then the Maple Land State Department stuck its nose in, fumo. ‘Say it was a joint operation with the Digimans,’ they said. But what they meant was, give them all the credit, fumo.”
“Credit, huh?”
“That meant Mackey got declared a big damn hero, fumo.” He explained how Mackey had had a long career in the military as a first reservist, serving as a bomber pilot in hostile territory long ago... The long and short of it was that, for political reasons, Moffle and the others were swept under the rug, and the official story pushed that it was Mackey who had saved the day. Maple Land was also blamed for failing to stop the radicals in the first place, and was forced to concede to several of the USD’s demands. “He didn’t even do much of anything, but the king even gave him a knighthood, fumo. ...And ever since, he’s acted like we’re ‘best friends.’ It’s not as if I wanted credit, so I don’t exactly hold a grudge, fumo. I just don’t like the man, fumo.”
“I see,” Seiya commented. “But it didn’t look to me like there was any real animus there.” Moffle had clearly been annoyed earlier, but not quite to the point of hate— It looked more like Mackey got under his skin than anything.
“Moffu. Well, you know...” Moffle sighed. “He’s shallow and annoying, but there’s one thing I can say about Mackey, fumo.”
“What is it?”
“He’s a first-class entertainer, fumo.”
After touring the park for about an hour, Mackey Brown arrived in the rooftop garden of Maple Castle. It was rare to host visitors in the rooftop garden, but taking him to the dreary meeting room in the general affairs building didn’t seem right. Besides, their manager, Latifah, had said she wanted to offer her regards. While helping Latifah rush through the preparation of tea cakes, Seiya checked the work SNS and found that the park’s cast was beside itself:
《It’s Mackey! It’s really Mackey!》
《Mackey talked to me! He said “keep up the good work”!》
《I thought he’d be a real jerk... but he was actually really nice.》
《Mackey shook my hand! I’ll never wash it again!》
《This is a great sign, pii! I bet he’s here for secret talks with Moffle!》
《I got a picture with him, but I guess I’d get in trouble if I shared it on Twitter, huh?》
Pathetic! Look at them, losing their heads over a business rival! Seiya thought. (Though actually, their park was so insignificant the term “rival” didn’t quite seem fitting.) To Salama’s final message, he replied, “No, don’t tweet about this. Don’t tell anyone, either.” While he did that, Mackey knelt reverently in front of Latifah and kissed her hand lightly. The gesture seemed smooth and practiced.
“I cannot thank you enough for coming, Lord Mackey. Though I can offer little in the way of hospitality, I invite you to make yourself at home,” Latifah said amicably. Of course, as the first princess of a magical realm, she showed no signs of nervousness or intimidation. Even in the presence of the world’s biggest star, her comportment was immaculate.
“Gosh, Your Highness! I’m honored! Haha!”
“Is your wife well? I am told that she sends me a Christmas card every year. I am grateful for the consideration.”
“Haha! She sure does! Munnie’d love to come see you, Your Highness! Plus... wowee, you’re pretty! We got a lot of cast members who play princesses in our park, but they sure can’t stack up to you!”
“Oh, you flatter me,” Latifah giggled.
“‘Why, she is a pearl, whose price hath launch’d above a thousand ships, and turned crown’d kings to merchants...’ That’s from Shakespeare! Haha!”
“I had never heard that before, Lord Mackey. How knowledgeable you are.”
“Aw, it’s nothin’! Haha! Haha!”
Moffle, standing on the sidelines, clicked his tongue. “Oh, please. Shakespeare my eye...” he grumbled, among other things.
Tea with Latifah commenced. Mackey never seemed to stop talking— He complimented the flowers, and spoke eloquently about the tea. Most importantly, he never forgot to inject bits of humor here and there. Even Seiya was astonished by Mackey’s conversational skills.
As the ones who had shown Mackey around, Isuzu and Tricen had joined them. Tricen seemed dazzled by the superstar, and even Isuzu seemed much less defensive than she’d been at the start. She didn’t seem to like him, exactly, but her words and gestures now indicated respect.
“Now, if I may...” Once the ice had been thoroughly broken, Latifah picked herself up. “I really must be going. There are many things to which I must attend.”
“Oh, gosh! You probably should!” Mackey agreed. “Sorry to drop by all unannounced!”
“Not at all. You are always welcome here... Next time you come, you really must bring your wife.”
“Haha! You bet I will!”
Latifah smiled radiantly. Just before she turned to leave, she said, “Kanie-sama, do handle the rest.”
“R-Right...” he agreed nervously.
“And Tricen-san. Might I ask you to join me?”
“Ah? Yes, of course! I shall hunch over in providing you aid!” Tricen rushed to his feet and left the rooftop garden with Latifah.
“Haha. Aw...” Once the first princess of Maple Land was out of their sight, Mackey put a hand to his chest with an enraptured sigh. “She sure is the best! I think so every time I meet her! That elegance, that grace! She’s like a flower bloomin’ on the lakeside, I tell ya!”
Seiya’s brow furrowed at the mention of multiple meetings. “You’ve met her before?”
“Haha! Sure I have! A buncha times!”
“Moffu. He drops by unannounced every so often, fumo. He knows about Latifah’s curse too, fumo.”
Does he, now? Seiya wondered.
While Seiya sat there in shock, Mackey gave him a sidelong glance and let out a gloomy sigh. “It’s one sad story, huh? If not for that curse, she’d be a beautiful lady by now! Haha!”
“So what, fumo? She’d still be out of your league, fumo.”
“Haha! Just kidding, just kidding! After all... ya can’t go through life without humor!”
“Moffu...” Moffle slumped over.
But Mackey didn’t seem inclined to joke about the subject anymore (the restraint was another sign of a keen mind), and said, “She’s not just beautiful, but considerate, too! The way she took the dinosaur guy and left at just the right time... perfect! Bravo! Digimaland ladies don’t have that kind of grace! Haha!”
“Yeah...” Seiya had noticed that, too. Mackey hadn’t come to AmaBri to shoot the breeze; he had something he wanted to talk to Seiya or Moffle about. Latifah must have sensed that, too, which was why she had bowed out and taken Tricen with her. She had probably sensed that it was something he was hesitant to say in front of them, even. “That consideration of hers has been a great asset.”
“I’ll bet, haha!”
Just then, Moffle started tapping his paw on the marble table, wearing his annoyance openly. “Moffu. Then let’s drop the formalities and get to brass tacks, fumo. You wouldn’t have come to AmaBri if you didn’t want something.”
“Aw, don’t be like that! Like I told Kanie-kun earlier, I care about how this park turns out! Haha!”
“That’s not true and you know it, fumo. Parks like ours are a dime a dozen to you.”
“Haha! But lookin’ at this dime-a-dozen park sure cheers me up a lot! It makes me feel better, remembering there’s a bottom to our barrel, ya know?”
“......”
“I mean, c’mon! I’m the best in the world! You know how much pressure there is,
staying at the top all the time? It gets pretty lonely, ya know? It’d crush most fairies! Sometimes I start to lose faith in our attractions, and I tell myself, ‘C’mon, Mackey! Look at AmaBri! Compared to that lousy amusement park, you’re doin’ just fine!’ That lets me build up my courage again! I can work hard and endure my wife’s splurging, too!”
“I... I see, fumo...”
“I’ve tried thousand-dollar-an-hour psychotherapists, medicines from neurologists, and all kinds of things! But none of it works quite as well as that! AmaBri is my panacea! Haha!”
For some reason, Seiya couldn’t muster up any rage about this; the thought of the pressures of being the world’s best sent a strange chill through him. “...Also, Mackey sees a psychotherapist?” he whispered to Isuzu.
“Everyone in the business knows about it,” she whispered back. “And about his wife’s splurging, too.”
“It does sound pretty bad...”
Ignoring their whispered conversation, Mackey continued on with exaggerated gestures. “...But right now, I’ve gotta say, I’m real disappointed in AmaBri! Haha!”
“...?” they waited for him to explain.
“You’ve gotten way too good!” Mackey exclaimed. “Especially that renovated entrance! Things’re on an upward curve, and that’s not the AmaBri I know!”
“I’m not sure what to say to that...”
“I just sure did love the old park’s seediness! And now you’ve got all this thought put into the guests’ sight lines and walking lines and sounds and smells! Just who’d you hire to come up with all that?”
“Funds were limited, so I did it myself,” Seiya told him.
Mackey’s eyes went wide and he blinked. “Yourself, huh?! Haha! What a shock! Kanie Seiya-kun, I’m ready to hire you at Digimaland, for my sake and yours! You can start at three million dollars a year!”
“Three...?! Er... well...” Three million dollars! Close to 400 million yen! Of course, he couldn’t possibly accept, but his mind was so blown that it took him a moment before he could respond. “I’m sorry, I appreciate the offer... But I’m not doing this for money...”
“Haha! I thought ya’d say that! How about five million? You’re worth at least that much! Haha!”
“Seriously, it’s not about the money...”
“Moffu! That’s enough, fumo!” Moffle released his pent-up anger. “Trying to buy Seiya out while we’re sitting right here? It’s that arrogance, that depravity that I—“
“Haha! Haha! Haha! Now, now, Moffle, it’s just a little capitalism! Hooray for capitalism!” Mackey did a spin and then posed. Confetti and ticker tape went flying, and applause seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. “Hey, let’s have a song! What’s a good one for a moment like this? I know, my favorite song! Let’s Have Fun at Digimaland! Hit it, guys!”
A funky brass melody began to play. Dancers appeared, moving in time with the rhythm.
Great attractions from wall to wall!
You can get there from everywhere!
Fly across the land with all your luggage in tow!
Get on a cart and you can go anywhere!
How’s that feel?
Even without a destination, no matter how far...
You can come here and you can find your real self!
(*)Let’s have fun at Digimaland!
Whether far away or right around the corner!
Let’s have fun at Digimaland!
We can hold hands all across the world!
Let’s have fun at Digimaland!
Come here and find blessings from heaven!
Are you looking for the promised land?
Because this is where you’ll find it!
In this place that feels like home!
New Tomorrow! (New Tomorrow!)
Toon City! (Toon City!)
Coo-ritter! (Coo-ritter!)
Western PA! (Western PA!)
Fantasy City! (Fantasy City!)
Aschenputtel! Adventure! Bazaar! And CA!
Wow!
Let’s have fun at Digimaland!
Hit me! (HIT ME!)
(*Repeat)
Let’s have fun at Digimaland!
Wow!
Feels so good!
There was another round of applause and cheers. Mackey flashed a thumbs up and a saucy wink.
While this was all going on, Seiya and Moffle tried to make comments like, “No, you don’t have to sing. Let’s keep talking,” but something was stopping them. No matter how hard they thought the words, they couldn’t manage to speak them aloud.
“Is that part of Mackey’s magic, too?” Seiya whispered.
“Yeah, fumo. It’s a spell called ‘Unstoppable Musical’... Once he starts singing, no one can stop him, fumo...”
“Sounds like a massive pain in the ass...”
Ignoring their whispered conversation once again, Mackey spun his microphone around and stuck it in his pocket, still on a post-performance high. “Whew! Haha! Well, how’d you like that?”
“Not a bit, fumo. ...Anyway, er... what were we talking about again?”
“Oh, I remember! Capitalism! If I offer enough money, Kanie-kun’s as good as mine! Haha! That’s what I was tryin’ to say, you know?”
“I turned you down, though...”
“And that’s a foolish decision! Haha!” Mackey folded his arms and peered into Seiya’s face. “I mean, I know there’s no way you guys’ll hit three million guests! I can see the future! Haha!” The moment he said that, Seiya and Isuzu went pale.
“Three million people? ...What are you talking about, fumo?” Moffle looked at him dubiously.
Three million was the number of people AmaBri had to bring in this year. Last year, the quota had been 600,000, and they’d just barely managed to clear that. But starting this year, three million was their goal— It was a number they’d had to agree to so that they could sell the second park grounds earlier in the year. The threat was the same as the year before: If they didn’t reach three million, AmaBri would be shut down.
Three million was a lot. AmaBri was doing its best; if they kept up this pace, they might just reach two million. But three was a pipe dream— an unthinkable number. That’s why Seiya had been keeping it a secret from most of the cast; He knew that hearing it would just demotivate them, and he couldn’t afford to have morale tanking now.
The only ones who knew about the situation were Seiya and Isuzu, Tricen (who had been present for the negotiations), and their head of accounting, Ashe. He hadn’t told Moffle; he’d planned to do it at some point, but simply hadn’t gotten around to it yet.
Moffle’s shock was understandable. “Seiya. What’s he talking about, fumo? Three million people?”
“I’ll explain later.”
“...Moffu.” He must have grasped the seriousness of the situation, because rather than pressing further, Moffle fell silent and watched the conversation unfold.
Seiya stared straight into his face of Mackey, who had been guffawing through the entire exchange. “Mackey-san. Could I ask how you knew about that?” There was no point in denying it; knowing Mackey, he had his ways of finding these things out.
“Haha! C’mon now, it’s everywhere! Ya sold the second park, remember? And ya sold it to Malmart! Everyone was gonna be wondering about it!”
Malmart was the world-renowned superstore that had bought AmaBri’s second park, so that they could erect a large shopping mall on the land. He’d told the AmaBri cast about that part— that several years down the line, they’d have a shopping mall opening up in their backyard. This would likely lead to a major increase in AmaBri’s attendance due to a symbiotic effect, and the thought gave the cast hope for a bright future ahead.
“I can see how you would know about Malmart...” Seiya concluded. “But how did you know about the three million quota?”
“Oh, plenty of ways! You know the saying, use a thief to catch a thief! Haha!”
“......”
“Don’t get me wrong,
Kanie-kun! Haha! I didn’t come here to tease you or nothin’!”
“I don’t know, I have my doubts about that...” Seiya decided to drop the formality; fawning politeness wasn’t going to change the man’s attitude. Besides, he wasn’t quite sure if Mackey was on his side or not.
“Okay! Then I’ll put it all on the table!” Mackey clapped his hands together. “Who forced the outrageous three million attendance goal on you during the Malmart negotiations?”
“Amagi Development,” Seiya answered shortly.
Amagi Development was a third sector company, built on investment from Amagi City and several other companies. One would expect them to be on the park’s side, but they were hostile to AmaBri at the moment, and causing trouble for Seiya at every turn.
“Sure! But hold on a minute! Wouldn’t they profit off of AmaBri selling the second park, too?” Mackey asked. “Having that big shopping mall open up would be great for the city and their partners! It’s a sweet deal! There’s no way Amagi Development’d be against it!”
“True.”
“So why would they tack that unreachable goal on the sale? Haha! It’s pretty weird, don’t ya think?”
“That’s true. It is strange.” Of course, that had occurred to Seiya as well. It made no sense for them to go to such lengths just to shoot themselves in the foot over a simple grudge.
“The answer is... because there’s a conspiracy! It’s another big company at the heart of this, not Amagi Development!”
“A request by Malmart?” Seiya guessed.
“Haha! Close, but no cigar! Malmart’s neutral in the whole thing! They just want as popular an amusement park next to their new shopping mall as they can get! It’s not Malmart that would encourage Amagi Development on to ask for that unreasonable three million demand. It’s...”
“Moffu. I think I get you, fumo. Cosmic Group, right?”
“Haha! You said it, Lord Moffle!” Mackey pointed at Moffle and whispered “Bingo!” softly.
Cosmic Group was a massive entertainment conglomerate. They were involved in movies, video games, streaming video, and music. With a finger in every pie in the entertainment industry, they were the only entity that could truly be called a rival to Digimaland. The Kansai theme park Cosmic Studios was world famous, and they’d also been duking it out with rival theme parks in Florida, originally Digimaland’s home turf.