“Grace!” came a call down at the end of the long hallway.
She turned and was shocked to see Callum out and about, doing so much better than he had been in the time since his wound.
“Good heavens, Callum, look at ye! A real portrait of health ye are,” she encouraged.
Callum beamed and Grace was glad to have given him such pride through her words.
“Thank ye. But I was right terribly worried about ye. Where did ye get off to?” he asked.
“Oh, it was nothing,” Grace replied.
Callum was quick and in her way before Grace could take a step toward her room just a little farther down the hallway. He grasped her hand in his own and gave a warm smile while he watched the way their two hands compared and contrasted.
“But ye were gone so long. I was worried. And I’ve heard a commotion since ye came back. What was it? What happened? They’re saying ye left the guard for dead. Well…he’s saying that anyway. I somehow doubt that version of the story contains all the facts,” Callum chuckled.
Grace tried to laugh with him, but it wouldn’t come out strongly enough. She had to let him amuse himself, for she could not be so easily amused these days.
“Forgive me for not telling ye,” Grace said, apologizing for her earlier outing that did not involve him at all.
Why hadn’t it? Grace wondered at herself. She truly was fond of Callum. It didn’t require the burden that Douglas did, this whole flirting and getting to know one another. It was simple, easy, and she was often glad for it.
“Dinnae worry about it,” he replied, still smiling at her.
Grace smiled once more, but remained silent as she shuffled past him and into her room where she changed and prepared for a meeting of another sort altogether.
Grace had felt that ever since taking this new role in the house, her former relationships with the housemaids and cooks had all but vanished. Now she was ‘one of them’ in a way she had never imagined herself.
“Dinnae be silly,” she scolded herself, knowing she was still just a human as they were. Yet, why was it that every time she passed them, it felt as though they were frightened of her, when they had not previously been?
Grace found Meredith in the cellar, right where she knew she would be.
“Meredith, how are ye?” she greeted. The red headed woman in her mid-sixties was round and harsh. Life had not been kind to her, as visibly seen in the lines crossing her forehead. However, at Dunmore she’d had it better than most and it would have done her well to remember that.
“Me lady, Grace. How are ye? Good to see ye down here. I havnae seen ye much at all since yer fancy change in the house after Miss Colla left,” Meredith said, letting Grace figure out whether or not the hostility in her tone was real or imagined.
“Aye, I have missed ye. But I’ve been right busy. Now I’m back to listen to some of yer stories. To be honest, I care about ye a great deal, and I dinnae wish to upset ye, but I need yer help,” Grace confessed, knowing that honesty was a better option than flattery and Meredith would have seen through the latter easily.
“Right then, out with it,” she said. There was no nonsense with this woman and she clearly appreciated the truth.
“I ken that ye have spoken a lot of Dunwray Manse. Does yer aunt still work there?” Grace asked.
“It was me cousin. And no, she doesnae. The manse has been all but abandoned. If ye’re wondering whether she works for the family that once lived there, then aye. But only the old lady and a few of her offspring. The majority of the family is gone,” Meredith said.
Grace lit up with hope. “Really? So there is still hope of finding the family? Where have they gone if the manse was abandoned? And why would they have done such a thing as to leave their home behind?” Grace asked.
“There was some great scandal,” Meredith said with a wave of her hand. “I dinnae ken all the details, but some lass was less than responsible and as a result, the family had to flee. I think they’re still fairly close by though, maybe even in Edinburgh. Ye ken how anyone in trouble always heads to the city thinking they’ll find work…” Meredith said, trailing off.
“Usually they only find more trouble,” Grace said, completing the thought that was generally held among the people of the highlands.
It was a sad truth, but there it was.
“Do ye think ye can get in touch with yer cousin at all?” Grace inquired.
Meredith nodded her head. “Aye, I’m sure of it. I’ll send for her. Ye’ll have yer answers in no time at all,” Meredith promised.
Grace breathed a sigh of relief. She had been successful. It felt funny to think that after all, it was Meredith who determined the success of this, but nevertheless she was grateful to have successfully learned who could answer questions for Douglas. Truly he would soon be able to move forward and know more about this family.
“Meredith, ye are a gem of a woman and I am eternally grateful to ye,” Grace said.
“Aye, I’m glad that ye can recognize that and ye should be grateful. Me cousin and I had a falling out not too long ago and it’s only out of me curiosity that ye came to me that I’m choosing to help ye,” she said.
“Not to mention,” Meredith continued. “If there’s any sign that she’s doing as bad a job as I suspect, it means that there’ll be an opening and ye ken that I’d love to work for that family.”
* * *
It was not two days later that Grace was called to the kitchens because Meredith had received word for her.
“Me lady. How are ye?” Meredith greeted as Grace entered the room to a plume of smoke coming from the stove.
“Well good afternoon to ye!” Grace replied. “I am very well, thank ye.”
“Good. I am about to make ye feel even better. I’ve heard from me cousin. She told me they are now in Edinburgh. Actually, they are not too far and it willnae be difficult to find them,” she said.
“Truly?” Grace asked, her heart leaping in joy that this might all be over soon for Douglas’ search
“Aye. I’ve got all the details about it written here so that ye can go. But, me lady, I would highly recommend that ye go with a guard and dinnae do as ye did last time. It isnae safe to be traveling alone these days,” Meredith warned.
“Ye dinnae need to worry about it,” Grace replied. “I’m not the one who will be traveling and I think the man whose quest this is will be on his own. And honestly, I believe he will be safer in and around Edinburgh than the destinations of his previous searches.”
Grace had seen Douglas just that morning. He was staying in a small makeshift shelter just outside of Dunmore so that he could be in contact with Grace during this attempt to search for information.
After getting what she needed from Meredith, she made her way back to Douglas to feed him the information and see whether or not he might want her to accompany him.
“I have what ye desire,” she announced with a smile as he revealed his face from behind a flap of tan fabric.
“Oh?” he asked.
“Indeed. I have all the information for the cook’s cousin. Ye can find the family ye’re looking for right easy enough now. But I dinnae think ye ought to go alone. Have ye a travel companion?” Grace asked the last part as a hint that she would make an excellent one, but it seemed that Douglas did not wish to consider it and he appeared significantly more distant.
“No, I have no need of one. I would only be slowed down,” he replied.
Grace scoffed at him. “What on earth are ye thinking? Ye’re already slowed down enough. Dinnae get me wrong, ye’ve made marked improvements in terms of yer healing, but ye are far from able-bodied just now and I dinnae recommend that ye go it alone,” she warned.
“I must do things the way that I choose to do them. Trust me; this is the right way for me to do it. I will be more successful if I go on my own. You may laugh at me, but I know what is best for me,” he said.
Grace narrowed her eyes. “Well then, I suppose ye had bes
t be on yer way. It’s cold, ye’re near death, and there’s no telling whether or not that old lady’s cousin will be around much longer to be of any use to ye. So off with ye,” she said bitterly.
Grace stood and turned, marching back toward Dunmore. She could feel Douglas’s stare on her back, but it didn’t matter anymore. He was being senseless and seemed not to care about her even a smattering.
The deep realization of it sunk to the pits of her stomach. Now she really wouldn’t see him again. Now he had what he needed form her and that meant he was done with her. She was no longer of enough use to him for Douglas to waste his time on her. She wouldn’t be able to help him further.
It ached in her spirit to recognize this and admit it. Nevertheless, it was the truth and she had to accept it and move on with her life. She had other things ahead and knew she was not alone.
There was still Callum. A good, strong, hardworking man with integrity. Certainly, they were not in love, but it made sense to be with him and the deep-seated respect she felt for him confirmed that. Indeed, he was deserving of her loyalty and had been more ready to offer his own.
He was significantly different from Douglas, but dependable. That was a difference that Grace appreciated more than most others. Callum was trustworthy and would be there at any point she needed him.
Were he to be sent to England on orders and an emergency befall her, Grace had no doubt that Callum would rush to return and be with her.
Not to mention, Callum was fond of her as well. Perhaps not as love, but he had made his feelings clear. He respected her as she respected him. They would be a good match and that was all there was to it.
Grace sighed in relief. She had made her decision. Should he ask, she would marry Callum Grennock.
A Telling Of Truths
“Ye look different somehow,” Adeline said, sitting across from Grace in the cushioned chair.
“I suppose it is because I have finally come to some important conclusions,” Grace replied.
Joanna laughed from her seat opposite the two. “Important conclusions? That is terribly ominous-sounding. It is as if ye have discovered a secret of the universe and are only now ready to inform the rest of us that life as we ken it is about to end and some great calamity will come over the earth.”
Grace rolled her eyes. She was growing used to Joanna’s mocking tone. She sensed it was a wall used to keep out others. Nevertheless, she would not allow it to bother her any longer. At least not tonight.
“No offense, Grace, but it does sound quite dramatic. What have ye drawn important conclusions about?” Adeline asked, trying to push aside her own smirk.
Grace sighed. She wasn’t really ready to tell them, but she also knew that if she held it all in for too long, she would eventually give up and relent to the questioning again. She had to be held accountable and telling them her decision was the best way to do that.
“Well…I have decided to be promised to a man,” she said, feigning excitement and trying to make it genuine.
Adeline’s face lit up with joy and she threw her arms around Grace. She was immediately overjoyed. Joanna seemed glad as well for her friend. Despite her cool demeanor, Grace sensed how happy she was to see her friends finding a companion for the rest of their lives.
“Oh me goodness, Grace. I couldnae be anymore happy for ye. Maybe now we can dispense with all the secrecy about yer impossible love affair. Who is he? How soon will ye be married?” Adeline questioned in a rush.
Grace gave her a sad smile. “Well, actually, I have made a different choice, Adeline. The better choice…”
Adeline looked confused and Joanna, uncertain about these dynamics, glanced between the two friends with curiosity. “What do ye mean by that?” Adeline asked.
“Well, I have chosen to marry Callum Grennock,” Grace finally said in a rush. Her explanations were always staccato and hesitant, but this one was by far the most challenging to confess to her friend, who had so encouraged her in her pursuit of the man whose identity she had been unable to disclose.
“Wait. Hold on. What do ye mean ye are going to be promised to Callum Grennock?” Adeline asked, pausing and taking time for each carefully chosen word.
“Well…” Grace began.
“If ye begin one more stupid sentence with the word ‘well’ then I am going to throw ye in one,” Adeline threatened.
Grace felt insecure at that. She had been so hesitant with her explanations that she hadn’t realized how clearly it showed in her words. “Forgive me. What I mean to say was that I have made this decision for a number of reasons. I do believe that it is the right one. I mean, Callum is a good man. He has integrity. He is a man of faith and, honestly, I should like for some of that to rub off on me,” Grace said, as if that settled the matter.
“Go on? Ye had better have more to it than that, Grace MacGowan,” Adeline said harshly.
“Why?” Grace asked, uneasy and not knowing what other excuses might appease her friend.
“If ye want to become more devout in yer faith, ye dinnae do so by marrying someone who is, ye go to church. And it’s not so hard, so ye ought to tell me a better reason. Why are ye marrying Callum Grennock?” she challenged.
“He is strong. He is brave and fights on our behalf. I wish to be with a Jacobite who truly loves the cause and believes in it with all that he is worth. Callum epitomizes that,” Grace said.
This excuse only gave Adeline pause to think and realize that this must not apply to the other man Grace had mentioned. “I see…” she began. “So ye want to marry a Jacobite. That is good; ye ken that we will all support that. But it still doesnae mean that ye have to marry a Jacobite ye dinnae love and, while this may not be a popular opinion, even love is more important than what side a man fights for.”
Adeline’s words were vague, but Grace read through them and hoped that Joanna did not. Adeline had figured out that the man she loved was a Hanoverian.
“It is a match that would suit everyone. It would be supported and good for meself and for Callum alike. I cannae think of a better reason than that for ye, Adeline,” Grace said finally.
“No better reason?” Adeline asked.
“No better,” Grace replied.
“Then I dinnae accept it. And I dinnae accept ye. Because this is the most ridiculous, childish decision ye have ever made, Grace. I will not pretend to support ye when ye are being such a fool. This is the worst idea ye’ve ever had,” Adeline scolded.
Grace stared at her friend in utter shock and confusion. She had never seen or heard Adeline speak so harshly, so cruelly, as this. It was totally unlike her friend to be harsh and forthright. “I dinnae understand, Adeline,” Grace admitted.
“Now, if ye will both excuse me, I’m thinking it’s for the best that I take me leave and get out of yer way. Plus ye are scaring me and I’ve never seen Adeline like this. I dinnae think I want to see any more of it,” Joanna said bluntly.
She stood to leave, and Grace and Adeline both allowed their eyes to follow her, waiting until they had the privacy they wanted and needed to continue their conversation…or argument…in peace.
When the door closed behind Joanna, Adeline’s narrowed eyes found Grace again. “How could ye do this? How could ye so foolishly give up on everything?” she accused, using absolutes in a way that Grace couldn’t stand.
“Adeline, I dinnae understand why ye are being so harsh. Why cannae ye be happy for me that I’ve decided to marry a wonderful man? Shouldn’t this be a cause for celebration? Dinnae friends support one another during times like this when we have good news?” Grace asked.
“But this isn’t good news, Grace,” Adeline shot back. “This is the news that ye have given up hope for love. That ye have decided to abandon yer own heart…”
Grace looked down, feeling small and knowing that Adeline was right. She didn’t want to hear it, but it was true nonetheless.
“Listen, Grace,” she began, speaking more softly and with greater sensitivity,
as she had always been trained. “I have always looked up to ye. Ye’ve been like a sister to me. Ye ken that I adore ye and Colla, but I’ve always felt closer to ye.
“So when I see that ye have decided to let go of everything that ye want, it makes it hard for me to trust ye. If ye cannae even trust yerself, how do ye expect me to? How do ye expect me to believe that ye are doing the right thing?” Adeline challenged again.
“Ye are being completely unfair,” Grace said steadily. She was clearly trying to control her emotions, but the attack had been so unexpected that she was unsure of what to say or do in reply.
“Am I, though? Is it not ye who is being unfair? I mean really, Grace. I never expected this from ye. I ken ye arnae Colla, ye arnae the one who is going to do everything she can to prove that she is more than a lady of the house of Dunmore. But still…” Adeline said, trailing off.
Grace sighed. “Ye have no idea what it’s like…”
“Perhaps I ken better than ye think. Ye see, unlike ye, I never have a home to go to. I dinnae have a family to share me own feelings with. I am stuck here, Grace. If ye were truly overwhelmed at any point, ye could run home and enjoy the comfort of yer mother’s arms. I cannae do that,” Adeline replied.
Grace admired that her friend managed to be honest, yet without a hint of self-pity. It was an art form and one that Grace could never manage. “Adeline, ye might be right on that, but on this topic of me decision, ye’re wrong,” she said flatly.
“Because ye love a Hanoverian? Because it might take a bit of extra effort?” Adeline asked, her emotions recharging.
“Aye! Because the man I love is frustrating and hard and has every challenge that no woman would ever want in love. Because Callum Grennock is a perfectly respectable man. A man who may not feel passionately about me, but he at least feels something.
“Adeline, if I wait for the man I love, or if I try to push him for something like a commitment to marriage, I will lose him. He will run. And that’s if I happen to be fortunate enough even to find him again because he runs often enough as it is already.
Loving A Highland Enemy: Ladies of Dunmore Series (A Medieval Scottish Romance Story) Page 12