‘Moreover, there have already sprung up about this subject all sorts of comical legends which clearly show the all-round idiocy of their inventors, and which are ever more and more embellished with new fantastic details as they circulate everywhere among parasites and idlers —no less idiotic—of both sexes. It is claimed, for example: that I receive money from some occult centre in India; or that the Institute is maintained by a black magic organization; or supported by the legendary Georgian Prince Mukransky; or that, among other things, I possess the secret of the philosophers’ stone, and can make as much money as I wish by alchemical processes; or even, as many have recently said, that my funds are supplied by the Bolsheviks; and much else of the same sort.
‘And, in fact, even the people closest to me do not know to this day exactly from where the money came for the colossal expenses I have borne for many years.
‘I did not find it necessary to speak seriously about this question, that is, the material aspect of the existence of the Institute, because I had no illusions about the possibility of outside help and considered conversation on the subject simply a waste of time, or, as is said, a pouring from the empty into the void.
‘But today, to this question which has been asked me so often and has already wearied me more than enough, I wish to reply, for some reason or other, not entirely jokingly, but somewhat more sincerely.
‘My wish to reply more seriously today, is, it seems to me—and I am almost certain—due to the fact that, after having become by the will of fate (or rather through the stupidity of the power-possessors in Russia) poor as a church mouse, I have ventured to come to this “dollar-growing country”, and here, breathing this air saturated with the vibrations of people who sow and reap dollars in a masterly fashion, I, like a thorough-bred hunting-dog, am on the scent of certain and good game. And I will not let the opportunity escape me.
‘As I am now sitting here among you people who are fattened on what is called dollar-fat, and feel myself stimulated by the automatic absorption of these beneficent emanations, I intend by means of my reply, so to say, to “shear” some of you a little.
‘Therefore, in the pleasant surroundings provided by a hostess of a hospitality so rare for the present day, I will take advantage of these fortunate circumstances to mobilize all the possibilities for the activity of my brain, as well as the capacities of my “talking-machine”, and will reply to this question asked again today in such a way that each of you should begin to suspect that my pocket is, itself, a fertile soil for the sowing of dollar-seed, and that in sprouting there these dollars acquire the property of bringing the sowers what could be, in the objective sense, their real happiness in life.
‘And so, my dear, for the time being, unconditionally respected dollar-holders ! ...
‘Even long before I began putting my ideas into practice by means of my Institute, that is, when I was first thinking out the programme from every angle, I had carefully considered the material aspect, which, although secondary, was nevertheless very important.
‘As I then expected to meet many obstacles in my effort to introduce into life the psychological ideas upon which this establishment, extraordinary for the present day, would be based, I felt it necessary to be independent, at least in the material sense; the more so, since experience had already shown me that wealthy people never become seriously enough interested in these questions to support a work of this kind, and that others, even with great interest and desire, cannot do much in this respect, as for such an enterprise a great deal of money is needed.
‘That is why, if I wished to actualize in full what I had planned, it was necessary, before thinking of carrying out the psychological tasks, first of all to resolve this aspect of the problem. Therefore, with the aim of creating sufficient capital for this purpose within a set period, I began to devote much more time than before to earning money.
‘What I have just said must in all probability arouse complete perplexity in most of you Americans, who at the present time everywhere on earth are considered excellent business men. You must be wondering how it was possible with such ease to earn these presumably large sums, and hence you must surely have received the impression of a certain sort of bragging on my part.
‘Yes, indeed—this must even sound very strange to you!
‘In order that you may understand, if only approximately, why and how I was able to do this and where I acquired such self-assurance, it is first of all necessary for me to explain that before this period of my life I had often been engaged in all sorts of commercial and financial undertakings, and was already considered by all who came in contact with me in this sphere a very astute business man.
‘And further, I must tell you something of my early upbringing, which, from my experienced point of view, corresponds most nearly to the ideal formed in me on the subject of education. Owing to this upbringing I could then, and perhaps if required can still today, go one better than any business man whatever, and perhaps even than you American business men.
‘It is particularly appropriate to tell you certain details of my education, since we are gathered today to celebrate the opening of an institution which has as its fundamental aim the correct, harmonious education of man. The more so, since this institution is based on experimental data accumulated over the course of many years and thoroughly verified by me—that very man who has sacrificed almost his whole personal life to the study of this vital question of education, so painful for the present day, and who, having been brought up by people with normally developed consciences, has been able to acquire the capacity, no matter what the circumstances, always to be impartial.
‘The strongest intentional influence exerted upon me was that of my father, who understood education quite in his own way.
‘I even intend at some time to write a whole book about all the direct and indirect methods of my father which ensued from his original views on education.
‘As soon as there appeared in me the signs of a more or less correct comprehension, he began, among other things, to tell me all kinds of extraordinary tales, which always led up to a series of stories about a certain lame carpenter, named Mustapha, who knew how to do everything and one day even made a flying armchair.
‘By this means and by other “persistent procedures” my father fostered in me, along with the desire to be like this expert carpenter, the irresistible urge always to be making something new. All my childhood games, even the most ordinary ones, were enriched by my imagining that I was someone who did everything not as it is usually done, but in quite a special way.
‘This tendency, as yet ill defined, which my father inculcated in my nature from my earliest childhood in an indirect way, was later, in the first years of my youth, given a more definite form because the ideas of my first teacher about education turned out to be, in certain respects, in keeping with it; and so, in addition to the fulfilment of my scholastic duties, I practised various manual crafts and skills under his special instruction.
‘The most characteristic educational procedure of my first teacher was that, as soon as he noticed that I was becoming familiar with any particular craft and was beginning to like it, he immediately made me give it up and pass on to another.
‘As I understood much later, his aim was not that I should learn all sorts of crafts but should develop in myself the ability to surmount the difficulties presented by any kind of new work. And indeed, from that time on, work of every kind had sense and interest for me, not in itself, but only in so far as I did not know it and did not know how to do it.
‘In short, owing to their original views on education, these two men, who consciously or even unconsciously—in the present case it does not matter—had taken upon themselves my preparation for responsible age, engendered in my nature a certain subjective property which developed gradually as the years passed and finally became fixed in the form of an urge frequently to change my occupation. As a result I acquired, even if only automatically, abilities of both a
theoretical and practical nature for carrying on various manual and commercial occupations. My comprehension also was gradually increased as my horizon widened in various fields of knowledge.
‘I will even add that, if I am recognized today in different countries as a representative of true knowledge in many fields of learning, I owe it in part to this early education of mine.
‘Thanks to the resourcefulness, breadth of view and, above all, common sense, developed in me by correct education, I was able to grasp, from all the information I collected intentionally or accidentally in the subsequent course of my life, the very essence of each branch of learning, instead of being left with merely an accumulation of empty rubbish, which is the inevitable result among contemporary people of the general use of their famous educational method called learning by heart.
‘And so, at an early age, I was already well equipped and able to earn sufficient money to provide for my immediate needs. However, as I had come to be interested, when still quite young, in those abstract questions which lead to an understanding of the sense and aim of life, and gave all my time and attention to this, I did not direct my capacities for earning money towards that self-sufficing aim of existence on which, owing to abnormal education, all the “conscious” and instinctive strivings of contemporary people, and particularly of you Americans, are concentrated. I turned to earning money only from time to time, and only in so far as it was needed for my ordinary existence, and to enable me to accomplish whatever was necessary for attaining the aim I had set myself.
‘Coming from a poor family and not being materially secure, I had to resort rather often to earning this indeed despicable and maleficent money for unavoidable needs. However, the process itself of earning money never took much of my time, because, owing to the resourcefulness and common sense developed in me by correct education, I was already in all these life matters what might be called an expert, cunning old blade.
‘As a very characteristic illustration of my capabilities in this direction I will relate an episode in my life when one day just offhand, for a small wager, I opened a very original workshop.
‘The details of this episode will perhaps somewhat lengthen my present recital; nevertheless I think that, thanks to this marvellous liqueur—marvellous, by the way, because it was not made in the usual conditions established on earth, but at sea on an old barge off the coast of America—it will not seem too long or boring to you.
‘Well then, it was not long before the last big expedition through the Pamir region and India organized by the society we had formed called the “Community of Truth Seekers”, of which I had been a member from the very beginning.
‘About two years before the departure of this expedition, the members of the community decided to make their rallying-point the town of Chardzhou in the Transcaspian region. All those intending to participate in the expedition were to meet there on the second of January of the year 1900, and from there first of all to move up along the course of the river Amu Darya.
‘As quite a lot of time remained before this date, but not enough for a long journey, I, being then in Alexandropol on one of my customary short visits with my family, did not go far away as I usually did after spending the time I had reserved for them, but stayed on in the Caucasus, dividing my time between Alexandropol and Baku.
‘I often went to Baku because there was a society there, composed mostly of Persians who were studying ancient magic, of which I had been an associate member for a long time.
“The events which led to the episode which I intend to relate to you took place just in this town of Baku.
‘One Sunday I went to the bazaar.
‘I must confess that I have always had a weakness for walking round in Eastern bazaars, and whenever I stayed in a place where there was a bazaar I would invariably go there. I very much liked to rummage about in the odds and ends, where I always hoped to come across something unusual.
‘That day I bought some old embroidery, and was on my way out of the rag-fair when I saw a well-dressed but very sorrowful-looking young woman who had something to sell.
‘I could see by everything about her that she was not a regular hawker, and was doubtless selling her wares from necessity. I went towards her and saw that she had an Edison phonograph for sale.
‘The sad expression of the woman’s eyes aroused pity in me, and, although I had very little money, without taking time to think about it, I bought this useless machine with all its appurtenances. I carried this burden back to the caravanserai where I was living, opened the box and found that it contained numerous rolls, most of which were damaged. Among those still intact only some were recorded, the others were blank.
‘I stayed in Baku several days longer.
‘My resources were coming to an end and I had to think about replenishing them. One overcast morning, I was sitting in bed, not yet dressed, pondering on how this was to be done, when I happened to glance at the phonograph. The idea of making use of it came into my head and I at once drew up a plan of action.
‘I liquidated all my affairs there and that very day took the first boat leaving for the Transcaspian region. Five days later, in the town of Krasnovodsk, I set my phonograph going to make money for me.
‘It must be said that the phonograph was still unknown in this region and it was the first time the local inhabitants had seen this marvel.
‘As I have said, there were also some blank rolls with the phonograph. I quickly found a Tekin street musician, and got him to sing and play several of the favourite melodies of the local population, and on the remaining rolls I myself recorded a series of piquant anecdotes in Turkoman.
‘Then I attached two additional ear-tubes to the four that were already on the machine—you may remember that the first Edison phonographs had ear-tubes—and set off with it to the bazaar, where I opened my original booth.
‘I charged a price of five kopeks an ear-tube, and you will be able to imagine the result if I tell you that, during the whole time I was there, all day long, and particularly on market days, there was scarcely a moment when an ear-tube was free. At the end of each day the amount collected in five kopek pieces was probably not less than the profits of the biggest business in the town.
‘After Krasnovodsk I went to Kizil-Arvat, and while there, I was invited several times to go with my machine to the houses of wealthy Turkomans in the neighbouring villages. For these “request performances” I received a considerable quantity of tiangi and once even two very good Tekin carpets.
‘When I had made a good pile again here, I took the train with the intention of continuing this business in the town of Ashkhabad, but on the train I met one of the members of our community, with whom I made a wager thanks to which this phonographical career of mine came to an end.
‘The comrade I met was the inimitable and fearless Mme Vitvitskaia, who always wore men’s clothes. She had participated in all our perilous expeditions into the depths of Asia, Africa and even Australia and its neighbouring islands.
‘She also was to participate in the coming expedition and, having still a good many months free, had decided to go from Warsaw to Andijan to visit her sister—who was married to a representative of the textile firm of Poznansky—and to take a rest there before the date of our assembling at Chardzhou.
‘On the way we talked a great deal, and, among other things, I told her about my recent enterprises.
‘I do not remember how or for what reason a dispute arose between us, but the result was that it ended with a wager according to which, under very precise conditions and by a definite date, I was to make a certain sum of money.
‘This wager interested Vitvitskaia so seriously that she not only decided to stay with me to see how I would fulfil it, but even undertook to help me. So, instead of going on to Andijan, she got off the train with me at Ashkhabad.
‘I must admit that the fulfilment of this accidentally arisen and complicated task which I had taken upon myself, interested me so much
that I was fired with a passionate obstinacy to carry it out whatever the consequences, and even to surpass the set conditions.
‘While still in the train I thought out a general plan of action, and as a first step I then and there drew up the following advertisement:
“’THE UNIVERSAL TRAVELLING WORKSHOP
IN ITS PASSAGE WILL STOP HERE FOR A VERY SHORT TIME
‘ “Hurry, and give your orders and bring everything you have to be repaired or remodelled.
‘“We repair sewing-machines, typewriters, bicycles, gramophones, music-boxes, electric, photographic, medical and other apparatus; gas and oil lamps; clocks; all kinds of musical instruments—accordions, guitars, violins, taris and so on.
‘ “We repair locks and weapons of all sorts.
‘“We repair, remodel, upholster and refinish any piece of furniture whatever, either in our workshop or at your own house.
‘ “We repair, varnish and tune upright and grand pianos and harmoniums.
‘“We install and repair electric lighting, bells and telephones.
‘ “We mend and re-cover umbrellas.
‘ “We repair children’s toys and dolls, and rubber articles of all kinds.
“‘We wash, clean and mend rugs, shawls, tapestries, furs, etc.
“We remove all kinds of stains.
‘ “We restore pictures, porcelain and all kinds of antiques.
‘ “The workshop has a well-equipped galvano-plastic cabinet for gold-plating, silver-plating, nickel-plating, bronzing and oxidizing.
‘ “Any article relined with white metal; samovars relined and nickel-plated in twenty-four hours.
‘ “Orders taken for all kinds of embroidery—cross-stitch, satin-stitch, chenille, with beads, feathers, plush and so on.
Meetings With Remarkable Men Page 28