by Elise Faber
Feeling uncomfortable under her scrutiny, I looked down at the dark coffee in the paper cup in my hands. I had never felt so ashamed in my entire existence.
Without waiting for me to reply, Amanda continued, occasionally sipping her own cup. “She called me as soon as you left. I came as soon as I could and was just in time. She told me about you and made me promise to stay with her until you came back.”
Looking up, I stared at her helplessly, “I…”
When I didn’t continue, she reached into the pocket of her dress and withdrew a small envelop, which she laid down on the table in front of me. I eyed it like it was a curled snake waiting to strike at me.
“She wrote a letter for you, or tried to anyway. I took over in the end.” Amanda told me. “Before you read it just bear in mind that she’s quite sick.” At my questioning glance, Michele’s friend explained, “Some of her words didn’t make sense so…”
Nodding as if I understood what she meant, I kept my eyes on the sealed envelope, afraid to touch it. After a minute of silence, Amanda stood up with her empty coffee cup. “I’ll meet you back in her room.”
I was barely aware of her leaving, my attention so focused on the object on the table. Finally, taking a deep breath I sat down my untouched coffee cup and opened the envelope.
There were several pieces of paper inside. The one on top was a glossy paper addressed to Michele stating that she had been chosen as the lucky winner of several days of free accommodation in a luxury room at Noveau Hotel here in New Orleans.
So that was the real reason why she came here in the first place. Not like the cheap shot Floriza told me.
The second page was a copy of her to-do list. I knew it was a copy since none of the numbers had a check beside it. The original was in her bag back in the hotel.
Then the rest of the pages were her letter addressed to me.
Scanning it, my heart ached to see that Michele only managed to write a few sentences before the handwriting changed to what I presumed was Amanda’s. Even her handwriting shouted out to me how weak she had been.
Taking several deep breaths, I started reading it.
Dear Ambroise,
Thank you for coming back. I knew you would, even though I don’t deserve your forgiveness. You’re just too good a person to turn away from me even after what I have done to you.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I berated myself for my self-centeredness and marveled that I had met a woman like Michele who wouldn’t even let me take the blame in the end.
Now that you’re reading this letter, I know that I’ve now succumbed to my nemesis. I’m thinking that the doctor told you I have leukemia. If you haven’t googled it yet, leukemia is a type of cancer. I’ve had it since I was a child. I’ve beaten it several times, but it keeps coming back despite the numerous chemo treatments I’ve had throughout the years.
I’m sorry I lied to you about my hair. I have alopecia because of the chemo. It stopped growing after my third therapy. A few of my foster parents tried giving me hair treatments to make it grow back, but they gave up in the end. I didn’t really mind being bald. I hated imposing on the kind people who tried to take in a sickly child that needed hospitalization almost all of her life. Thankfully, I didn’t have to impose on even more people when I was taken out of the fostering system due to my health.
I’m assuming you’ve met Amanda. She’s my very special friend. Well, she was actually my therapist a few years ago, but we’ve been friends since then. I wish you two would have met under different circumstances. I’m positive she would love you as much as I do… well, maybe not as much as I love you and definitely not in the same way
I love you so much, Ambroise.
Hopefully, you believe that even after the way I had deceived you. I couldn’t risk telling you about my illness in fear of losing you. Especially after you told me about Polly. I knew how losing her had broken your heart, and even though I was going to do the same thing, I didn’t want you to leave me.
I am such a selfish person, I know. God forgive me for doing such a selfish act, but nobody had ever shown me love the way that you did. And still do, I hope. I wanted to feel that someone in this world loved me before I left. You gave me all your heart, I knew that. I felt it and by God, I wanted all of it.
Please forgive me.
A drop of water blurred the last word and I had to stop reading in order to wipe away my tears. Hurriedly, I blew on the paper to dry it fearing that I would lose her in more ways than one if the paper was damaged.
I never expected to fall in love when I decided to come to New Orleans. I just wanted to experience life… just once. Because of the leukemia, my entire life had been restricted to fighting off the disease and keeping it at bay. I had promised myself that I would go on adventures and explore the world when I was completely free from my nemesis. If I only knew that day wouldn’t come, I would have been braver and just threw caution to the wind a long time ago.
Yet, somehow, I never did. It almost felt like I waited for this moment. I seriously think I was meant to do it now, so I get to meet you. No, I didn’t get to see Lady Liberty or even glimpse the Eiffel Tower from afar. But with you, I flew high up in the sky and touched the clouds. You showed me all the colors of the rainbow. You made me believe in magic.
But most importantly, you showed me love. So much love that I have more than enough to take with me to the next chapter of my life. This isn’t the end, I know that. I believe that, especially since meeting you. This is just but another page in the story of our lives. And one day, I know we will meet again and hopefully we will be together in the end.
Until then, I’ll be waiting breathlessly for you.
With all my heart and soul,
Michele with one ‘L’
Through the endless tears I found myself chuckling in the end imagining her cheeky smile with both of her dimples showing. That would be the image she would want me to remember her by.
One of many memories of my Michele.
Hundreds of different images of the two weeks I spent with her flashed in my mind, each one forever ingrained and cherished. With infinite care, I folded the pieces of paper and slid them back into the envelope. With each movement my resolve solidified until it was almost as hard as steel.
Why have memories if I could have the reality in my arms?
There was a reason I was given this much power. This was my mission. If it cost my life in return, Michele will live.
The room was quite dim when I entered it, but there was a lamp not far from the bed that gave enough light to guide me in.
Deliberately, I avoided looking at the bed and focused on Amanda who was sitting next to it as she murmured something softly to its occupant. When she saw me approach, she leaned away sharing a sad smile with me before motioning for me to sit on her chair. Not sure if I was stable enough, I gave her a small shake of my head and chose to sit a little further away on another chair. The older woman nodded to me in understanding then proceeded to talk to Michele.
“See, honey, Ambroise is here.” She informed the inert form on the bed. “You were right all along. He wouldn’t stay away for long. I suppose you know your man best, don’t you honey?”
Guilt ate at me once more for leaving in the first place. Amanda had turned in her chair and was looking at me expectantly. I cleared my throat and spoke the only words I could think of:
“I’m sorry,” I said as sincerely as I could, hoping both women would hear it in my voice.
A satisfied smile crossed Amanda’s lips like she had been waiting for me to say those words.
“Michele’s been in coma for three days now,” she informed me quietly. “The doctors told me it should be just any moment now.”
Coma was a foreign word to me but what came next was loud and clear. Suddenly feeling restless, I stood up and moved towards the window. Michele’s room was small, but at least it had a window over-looking the busy street down below. She would like that, I decided.
Hearing movement behind me, I turned and saw Amanda slipping a bag over her shoulder. At my panicked expression, she smiled once more and walked over to me to give me a hug.
“I’ll be back,” she assured me. “I just need some fresh air. Just keep talking to her. I know she’s still with us… just sleeping.”
With that, she left leaving me alone with Michele.
After taking several deep breaths, I walked over to the bed and looked down. Nothing in this world would have prepared me to the changes in Michele’s appearance.
There was not a single thread of the beautiful hair I gave her left on her head. Her beautiful eyes were hidden behind their lids, looking foreign in their sunken sockets. Her sweet cheeks seemed angular, and her soft lips were now just dry, thin lines on the lower half of her face. If I thought she had been thin before, Michele now appeared skeletal.
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” I broke down collapsing on my knees beside her. “I’m so sorry.”
Amanda said she was just sleeping… she was just sleeping.
“I’m here now. I came back.” I gushed out grasping her tiny fingers. The nails looked chewed up and cracked once more. “I will never, ever leave you again. I promise!”
I couldn’t even hear her breath. Panicking, I pressed my ear to her chest and sobbed in relief when I heard her heart slowly beating inside. Leaning back I gazed at her face and stroked her pale cheek.
“I’ll fix this, Michele.” I assured her desperately. “I’ll do everything in my power to make you better.”
Drawing all the power I had inside of me, I covered her with it from head to toe making sure I had covered every inch of her. The air grew thick, the light coming from the lamp alternated between dimming and shining brightly as the electricity hummed in response to the immense power I was pouring into the room.
Outside the window, thick clouds moved in blown by a sudden gush of wind threatening to dump torrential rain in the hospital’s vicinity.
Blinded to everything else around me, I watched Michele’s skin start to return to its usual pinkish blush. Her lips plumped back to health along with the flesh around her eyes and her cheeks. Lovingly, I combed my hand over her scalp and teased out her hair until the short bob framed her face once more.
Her breathing evened out, her chest rising and falling gently. I had to wipe my eyes as tears blurred my vision. My work wasn’t finished. This was just the surface. I needed to find the source of her illness. Drawing more power, I siphoned everything I could and sent all of it spiraling inside Michele’s body.
All of a sudden, her eyelids fluttered open, and she turned her head to look at me. Concern marred her beautiful face. “Ambroise, what are you doing?”
Sweat was beading on my forehead and threatened to drip on my eyes. Hastily, I shrugged my shoulder and wiped the moisture on my shirt. “Shh… it’s ok. I’ll be finished soon.” I assured her with a smile.
“Ambroise?” she tried again. “Ambroise, stop!”
The perspiration dripping out of me was getting ridiculous. Annoyed, I swiped my nose with my sleeves. “What?”
“Stop it! You’re bleeding!” she nearly shouted at me, pushing my hands away from her body.
Only then did I notice the red marks all over the sleeves of my shirt and the drops of blood on her bedsheet. Suddenly, I felt light-headed and had to sit down on the chair behind me before my legs gave away.
Michele was now sitting up and looking at me worriedly. “What did you do? Oh, Ambroise, what have you done?”
“I can’t – can’t,” I had to clear my throat as I felt fluid drip at the back of my mouth. “I can’t let you die.”
My sight was blurring, but I could see her clearly. My beautiful, lovely Michele back to life. I tried to smile at her in reassurance. The speed of her jumping out of bed to kneel in front of me was testament of her health.
“Oh my God! Ambroise! No!” she cried out cupping my face in her hands.
She was crying… why was she crying? “Shh… angels shouldn’t cry.” I told her or I think that’s what I said. I tried again, “I love you so much.” Somehow the words didn’t sound right.
She was looking hysterical now as she tried to wipe my face off. I tried to tell her it was ok, I wasn’t hurt, but I was getting weaker and weaker by the minute. I couldn’t seem to focus on anything anymore.
Was she looking at the window? Attempting to follow her gaze was like lifting the weight of the world with my bare hands. Was there a flash of lightning in the room? I couldn’t really decide if it was or if I had gone suddenly blind?
Then I realized what was happening. I was dying.
Funny, I didn’t think it would end this way. But I’d always thought I’d go out with a bang. Huh. Then I remembered why, I brought my love back to life. She’s alive and finally healthy. I could die a happy man.
Only wished I could have kissed her one last time.
Then I discovered something true: hearing was the last sense to go.
“Girl, what is your final wish?”
“I wish…”
NO!!!
CHAPTER TWELVE
I opened my eyes to a bright room.
I was sitting on a chair.
There was a bed in front of me.
Someone important was lying in it… I think.
MICHELE!
Bolting up to my feet, I rushed to the bed and shouted, “NO! Michele, NO!”
Lying peacefully in the middle of the bed was the owner of my heart. The love of my life. She was still alive and was smiling weakly up to me.
“Ambroise,” she whispered, attempting to lift her frail hand to my face.
I gasped it and brought it to my lips. “Why?”
Gone was her hair once more. Her painfully thin face broke out in one of her sweetest smiles. “Because I love you.”
Oh my dear heart. Leaning down, I kissed her softly on her lips. It was bitter-sweet and brimming with our love for one another. Pressing my forehead against hers, our tears mixed together.
“I love you. God, I love you!”
“I know,” she whispered. “Now let me go.”
Can one’s heart survive so much pain? “I can’t… I don’t know how to say goodbye.”
“Not goodbye… until we meet again,” she replied weakly.
With tears flooding down my cheeks, I gathered her in my arms for another kiss. “I love you so much. Wait for me, my love. I won’t be long.”
“No, live for me… promise me.”
Squeezing my eyes painfully, I started rocking her in my arms. Oh God!
“Ambroise…”
No. No. No. No!
Tenderly, I gazed into her beautiful brown eyes. “I promise. Now, go get some rest, my love. Until we meet again,” I crooned to her bravely.
“Love you,” she breathed out closing her eyes… for the last time.
“I love you too. Do you hear me? I love you! Don’t forget me. Wait for me…” unable to stop myself I crushed her in my arms and wept.
Outside, the rain had stopped and the sun shone brightly behind the clouds, creating brilliant colors of the rainbow across the floor of Michele’s room.
A year had passed.
Standing on the pavement of Bourbon Street, I looked up to the familiar sign in front of me: Hotel Toujours.
Laughing silently to myself, I swept the street with my gaze wondering if anybody else could see the sign. Since the day Michele and I said our goodbyes, I’ve never been able to see the hotel. No matter how many times I ran up and down the street, I couldn’t find it.
For whatever reason, known only to Floriza, I could see it now.
“You’ve cut your hair,” someone called out to me.
Standing not a few feet away from me was the resident witch looking as beautiful and regal as always. Rubbing the back of my neck, I smiled ruefully at her. “Yeah, I did. It’s too hot… for a human.”
Calmly, she leaned against the doorframe and crosse
d her arms over her ample chest. “You look good… for a human.”
Laughing in spite of myself, I gave her a nod. “Thanks.”
A few minutes passed between us in silence before she spoke again. “Well, the hotel’s been quiet without you. Since you and that girl broke the spell… huh, imagine that, broken by true love.”
“Michele.” I interrupted her ramblings.
“What?”
“Her name was Michele.” I reminded her.
Floriza’s smile was sweet. “Yes, Michele with one ‘L’.”
It felt funny that after all these years; I was sharing a smile with the person I loved to hate. Michele did that for me. She taught me how to forgive. Then I remembered something.
“By the way, thanks for saving Betty and Polly from the flood.”
“I knew they were going to be important to you. Somebody had to adopt you once you left my nest!” she huffed trying to look indignant.
Chuckling, I nodded at her. “Yup, adopt me they did. I gained a sister and a niece.” Then with all seriousness, I looked her in eyes, “I have you to thank for that.”
Floriza’s eyes glistened suspiciously for a second before she quickly blinked them away. “Don’t mention it.”
Silence stretched between us again until I decided I’d over-stayed my welcome. “Well, see you around.” I said finally moving away. Betty and Polly were waiting for me at Café Du Monde.
“Ambroise!”
“Yes?” I asked turning back.
“Was it worth it?”
Somehow I understood what Floriza meant. “I would go through everything all over again to kiss her once more.”
With a satisfied nod, the witch smiled at me one last time then winked out of existence.
EPILOGUE
“Great-da! Do you remember this?”
With a smile, I turned my face towards the insistent shaking of the tiny hand on my arm. Little Michele beamed at me holding up an old picture of me in front of the Eiffel Tower. Nodding fondly, I gazed at the pretty face of the little one who resembled her grandmother, Polly, even more with each passing day.