Her shoulders shook. “Oh, Levi, it isn’t that.” She wiped at her cheeks, but the tears continued their steady flow downward. “You wouldn’t feel that way if you knew what I’ve done.”
Levi scooted closer to her. All he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and assure her there was nothing that would stop him from loving her. Following his instincts, he reached for her.
Millie leaped off the swing. Her sandwich made a soft plopping noise as it hit the porch. “No.” She held her hands out in front of her as if to ward him off. “Don’t touch me. This is too hard as it is.”
A tumble of confused thoughts and feelings assailed him. How could he help her? What could she have done that was so horrible she felt it made her unworthy of his love? Levi had no intention of relenting or taking back his declaration of love. He already knew he’d stand by her no matter what. He tried to maintain an even tone.
“Tell me.”
She stepped backward and stopped only when she touched the porch railing. Millie took a deep breath and sighed. She acted as if the whole world rested on her slim shoulders. “I ran away from home, Levi.”
He hated seeing her look so frail, as if she would shatter if the wind blew. “Yes, you told me that. Your mother is overbearing and you wanted to get away from her, pursue your dream of becoming an artist.”
“That was only part of why I left Cottonwood Springs.” She sobbed and covered her face. “You won’t understand. I can’t bear to see the loathing in your eyes when I tell you.”
Levi stared at her, completely tongue-tied. Didn’t she understand that he could never hate her? He would never judge her that harshly. All he wanted was to take her in his arms and comfort her, to reassure her. He opened his mouth to explain, but she cut him off.
“I’m an arsonist.” Though she lowered her hands and lifted her chin, he could tell she wasn’t looking at him but over his head at the roof. “I burned down Eliza Kelly’s home and dress shop and then I ran away.” Her body trembled. “I know it was wrong and I plan to return to Cottonwood Springs and make things right. I plan to pay Eliza back.”
Levi stood. He took a step toward Millie, but she shimmied to the side and hurried to the door. If only Millie would look at him, Levi felt sure he could convince her to let him help her.
The tears had stopped, but in their place he saw defeat, and a woman facing the harsh realities of loneliness and life. “Please understand, Levi. I can’t love you. I can’t love anyone. I have no idea what the U.S. marshal will do to me when I turn myself in to him. What I do know is that I can’t expose someone I love to that kind of existence. I just won’t do it. That would kill me.” Millie grabbed the door, wrenched it open and hurried inside.
If he hadn’t been so emotionally wrung out, Levi would have smiled. So that was her big secret. Burning down Eliza Kelly’s house and business had to have been an accident. He couldn’t bring himself to believe otherwise.
If Millie Hamilton thought that would stop him from loving her, she had another think coming. His determination settled like a hard rock in his chest. He would be the winner in this game of love.
Millie wasn’t aware of what she had let slip, but he had heard it loud and clear. He clapped his hands together and headed to the stable. There was no way he could sleep tonight, and the sooner he straightened things out, the sooner he could claim Millie as his own.
He barely refrained from whistling as he saddled Snow and headed to the ranch. Millie’s words wrapped themselves around his bruised heart in a silken cocoon of joy. I can’t expose someone I love to that kind of existence. She loved him.
* * *
The door slammed back against its hinges and Millie almost fell off the swing. Mark ran down the porch steps, shooting his pretend gun at his imaginary mountain lions.
Ever since he’d heard of the cat in the woods, the little boy had been playing hunter. “Careful, Mark,” she exclaimed in irritation as she jumped to her feet.
Her annoyance increased when she found that her hands were shaking. She’d like to blame her skittishness on her run-in with the mountain lion, but her new resolutions for her life demanded that she face realities.
The truth was she was hurting and confused.
Her mind could not comprehend how a man could proclaim his love for her with such intensity one day, and then simply disappear from her life without any warning the next.
Three days. Three long, lonesome days Levi had been gone and no one knew his whereabouts. Just that his horse, Snow, was missing from the stable.
She entered the house and wandered restlessly through the downstairs rooms. Millie tried to force her emotions into order. Strange and disquieting thoughts had been her constant companions since waking up and not finding Levi anywhere in town.
Had he gone for the marshal himself? Was he so disgusted with the secret she’d revealed that he couldn’t face her? She was an arsonist. What did she expect? No one would ever love her. She didn’t even love herself. Her misery was so acute that it was a physical pain. She ran up the stairs and flung herself down onto the bed.
One thing had been constant in her life and that was prayer. Millie started at the beginning and poured her heart out to the One who’d always loved her no matter what. She admitted her weaknesses, begged God to help her; and when she finished the tears were gone as if swept away by an onrushing wind. A sense of strength had come to her and the despair in her life had lessened. She felt reassured and comforted.
No matter the outcome, she would do what was right, because she was a child of the King and children of the King were subject to a higher power and their lives needed to reflect the beliefs and rules of that Kingdom. She would have the backing of her Father, and if she had to spend time in jail, He would be with her like He had been with Paul and Silas in the Bible.
And if He granted her desire for love, then that would be an even greater blessing and one she would receive with a thankful and humble heart, for she loved Levi with every fiber of her being.
Millie started down the stairs and the door slammed against the hinges again. She opened her mouth to scold Mark, but the person standing in the doorway was a good bit taller and made Millie’s heart lurch up into her throat. When he spotted her at the top of the stairs, he sprinted up them two at a time till he stood beside her.
Levi grabbed her hands, then rushed into speech so fast she couldn’t understand a word he said.
“Levi, slow down. I don’t know what you’re saying.” He had the audacity to laugh, and she straightened herself with dignity.
“My precious Millie, don’t you dare stiffen up on me. I have good news.”
She interrupted impatiently. “Where on earth have you been, Levi? I searched everywhere for you.”
His eyes studied her with curious intensity. “You did? You missed me?”
“Of course I missed you. You tell me you love me and I tell you why you can’t ever love me, then you disappear. I felt...” She foundered before the brilliance of his look.
“You felt what, Millie? Don’t stop now.” His voice simmered with barely checked excitement. His whole being seemed to be filled with waiting and his steady gaze bore into her with silent expectation. His invitation to share her heart with him was hard to resist. Her resolve began to melt, and she tentatively tested the waters with her true feelings.
“I felt totally alone.”
Before she finished speaking she was in his arms, wrapped so tightly she could barely take a breath. Her senses leaped to life. Dare she have hope?
With obvious reluctance, he moved her away from him and motioned for her to sit with him on the top stair. Still, he took her hand and entwined their fingers, his eyes on her face.
“I went to the ranch. I’ve had three days of talking things out with Daniel and Hannah. Hannah needs to go home for a visit to Cottonwood Springs, and Daniel has agreed to take her. They want you to go with them. Of course, I’ll be going, too, and we will face the marshal together.” When
she started to protest, he placed a gentle finger across her lips. “It’s all worked out, Millie. I will not let you go alone. Hannah and Daniel will be our chaperones until we arrive and then I plan to ask your father for your hand in marriage. Whatever happens, we will, with God’s help, conquer it and our love will keep us strong.” He tipped up her chin and his head descended slowly. “Because I do love you, Millie, with all my heart and soul.”
His lips claimed hers. Millie’s happiness knew no bounds. Levi said he loved her. He’d promised to travel with her and be beside her come what may. She lifted her arms and put them around his shoulders.
Chapter Twenty-One
Millie’s hands shook. She was almost home. She twisted them in the folds of her dress. Levi reached out and captured them under his own. The gentle squeeze he gave them was meant to assure her all would be well. It amazed her that he was so attuned to her feelings. He continued to focus his attention on Daniel and their conversation but had instinctively known that she was fretting.
They’d grown closer on this journey back to Cottonwood Springs without feeling the pressure of others always watching them. Hannah and Daniel were with them most of the time, but something about getting away from the mail-order brides and Levi’s mother made them both feel more at ease.
In Denver, Colorado, they’d stepped off the train expecting to have to rent a buggy for the rest of the journey, but were pleasantly surprised to learn that the stage now ran all the way to Cottonwood Springs.
Only one other passenger traveled with them. Millie had listened to his talk of bringing the railroad through to Farmington until the man had become bored with his own voice and leaned his head back for a nap.
Her gaze moved out the window. A beautiful river ran alongside the road. Cottonwood trees lined its edges and she knew they were almost to the only home she’d ever known, until the day she’d answered Levi’s letter. Normally the sight of the river and trees would have calmed her, but not today.
Today she’d face her parents, but in all honesty, Millie expected that for the most part it would be a joyful occasion. What she dreaded was facing Eliza Kelly and Seth Billings, the U.S. marshal. Just thinking about it caused her heart to pound in her chest and her stomach to roll. Nauseated, she pulled her gaze back inside the stage.
Hannah rested with her head against her husband’s shoulder. She looked peaceful as she slept. Color filled her cheeks, but the trip had taken its toll on her. Unaware at how close they were to Cottonwood Springs, Levi and Daniel were discussing the next cattle run. None of her companions realized just how stressed she felt.
The possibility of going to jail frightened Millie more than she’d let on to any of them. Levi glanced in her direction and winked. The dimple in his cheek flashed when he smiled.
He took her hand and pulled it into the crook of his arm, covering it with his own. He answered Daniel but gazed only at her. His look spoke to her, saying, It will be all right. I’m with you.
If it hadn’t been for him, Millie felt sure she would have gone running back to Granite, Texas, after the first night on the trip. He’d teased and laughed with her, all the while pulling information about her childhood from her. Millie had learned more about him, too, and what she’d learned, she loved. Now, a week later, they were pulling into town.
As the stage slowed, Hannah sat up. “Are we here?” She smoothed down her hair and pressed at the wrinkles in her dress with her palms.
Millie nodded. Her ponytail brushed her back. Unlike Hannah, she’d chosen to wear a simple brown dress and pull her hair up in her normal style. She and Hannah had become even closer on this trip home, but Millie was still her own woman and refused to gussy up since she didn’t want to draw attention to herself.
Levi leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Almost there. We can do this together.”
When the stage came to a complete stop, the railroad man was the first to disembark. Loud cheers greeted his arrival. Millie wondered what the hoopla was about but couldn’t find out until everyone had exited the stage before her.
Daniel followed the railroad man and then helped Hannah. Levi followed Hannah, and then he turned to take Millie’s hand in his. The cool air felt good on her flushed cheeks. Her gaze scanned the faces of the excited people who circled the railroad man, but she didn’t see her parents. Relief and disappointment hit her hard. It was foolish to feel this way since they didn’t know she would be arriving.
A squeal to her right had Millie turning. She watched as Eliza Kelly and Rebecca Billings hurried to Hannah. The three women hugged and laughed.
Levi and Daniel were helping the driver unload their bags. Millie felt alone in a sea of people. She looked about for her old friend Elizabeth Miller and her best friend, Charlotte Walker. They stood on the sidelines watching the railroad man.
As if she sensed Millie looking at her, Charlotte turned in her direction. Her eyes grew wide and she spun away. Elizabeth watched her friend leave and then looked at Millie. A frown marred her pretty face.
“Millie Hamilton! I am so glad to see you.” Eliza Kelly grabbed Millie by her arm and pulled her away from the crowd.
Once they were out of earshot, Millie blurted, “I burned your house down and I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to do it.” Tears filled her eyes and she wept.
Eliza pulled her into a hug. “I know, Millie. Charlotte told me shortly after you left. Honey, I’m not angry at you. If anything, I am indebted to you and need to thank you.”
Millie pulled back and felt a warm, strong chest against her shoulders. Just to be sure, she glanced back and up. Levi grinned down at her. She turned her attention back to Eliza. “Thank me, Mrs. Kelly?”
A warm chuckle slipped past Eliza’s lips. “Yes, thank you.” She held up her left hand displaying a beautiful ring that caught the sunlight, casting rainbows of color about. “I’m Mrs. Hart now.” She turned and grinned at a big man who stood a few feet behind Eliza. “Jackson, come meet Millie Hamilton. Millie, this is my husband, Jackson Hart.”
Jackson stepped forward and offered her his hand. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
Confusion filled Millie at the twist of events. Eliza wasn’t upset with her for burning down her house and business, and she had married the large blacksmith in Millie’s absence.
Levi gently gripped her shoulders. She felt him squeeze as if reminding her that she wasn’t alone.
Millie reached out and shook Jackson’s hand. “I’m glad to meet you, too.” She wasn’t sure that those were the right words, but at the moment it was all she could think of to say.
Jackson nodded and returned the handshake. His gaze moved behind her as he released Millie’s hand. Again, Levi gently squeezed her shoulders.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Mrs. Hart, Mr. Hart, this is Levi Westland.” Millie felt Levi’s warmth as he reached around her and shook Jackson’s hand and nodded to Eliza.
“Now that the formalities are out of the way, why don’t we all become friends and simply use our given names?” Eliza looped her arm into Millie’s and pulled her away from Levi’s grasp. “I’m dying to know about your adventures while you’ve been gone.” She looked pointedly at Levi.
Millie saw that they were following Daniel, Hannah, Rebecca and Seth. Her heart skipped a beat knowing that the marshal was going to want to know what had happened at Eliza’s store. She looked over her shoulder, searching out Levi. He and Jackson were talking quietly but staying close enough that she could reach back and touch him.
“I can’t tell you how happy Rebecca and I were to see you and Hannah step off that stage,” Eliza exclaimed.
Millie wanted to stop them from walking but knew she’d only draw more attention to herself. So instead she leaned close to Eliza and said, “I don’t understand why you aren’t angry with me for burning down your house and store.” She searched Eliza’s face.
Eliza rested her head against Millie’s. “Believe it or not, your burning down my house was the best thing that’s ever happ
ened to me.”
“But why?”
“Because if you hadn’t, I probably would never have married Jackson. You did me a great service by burning the place down. I can’t thank you enough.”
Millie’s head hurt. It spun with the knowledge that Eliza wasn’t angry with her but genuinely happy. Her gaze moved to the wide-shouldered marshal. “What about the marshal? Is he going to arrest me?” Her voice caught in her throat.
Eliza raised her head. “Of course not.”
Relief hit Millie head-on. She wanted to weep with happiness, but because that was all she’d done since setting foot on New Mexico soil, Millie chose to smile instead. “Oh, thank you. I feel so foolish.”
“Don’t. We all make mistakes and it looks like the young man behind us is pretty happy that you found him. Are you married?”
Millie gasped. “No, and I’m not sure I want to get married.”
Eliza stopped and looked at her. Questions shot from her eyes, but before she could ask them, Millie heard her father’s voice.
“Millie! You’re home!” He rushed forward and grabbed her.
Compared to Levi, Millie’s father was a small man. She held him close and inhaled the fatherly scent she’d missed so much. She was home. “Papa.”
He held her out at arm’s length and examined her. A proud smile touched his lips. “Your mother insists you come home right this moment. She has been worried sick about you.”
Millie nodded, aware the rest of their party had stopped and returned to stand about them. “Papa, I want you to meet Levi and Daniel Westland. I believe you know Miss Young. She’s now Mrs. Daniel Westland.”
While he shook hands with Levi and Daniel, Millie wondered why her mother hadn’t come to meet her. Was she angry that Millie had run away? Or was this just her first step at trying to regain control over her again?
She’d been so deep in thought that she almost missed her father’s words to Levi. “Charlotte Walker said Millie had come home with a man. Why don’t you join us, Mr. Westland? I believe you and I should have a talk.” He raised his eyebrows at Levi, much like he’d done to her when she was a small child and had been naughty.
His Chosen Bride (Love Inspired Historical) Page 21