by J. L. Beck
“It wasn’t for nothing. At least you know that your sister is alive. And Xander doesn’t hate you. No way in hell would my brother pay five million dollars for something he doesn't care about.” Damon enters the bedroom. “And there is no one he has ever killed for except me… and now you. So, if you think hate is the emotion my brother feels for you, you’re sorely mistaken.”
I shake my head, refusing to believe him. “Trust means everything to him. I went down that hallway instead of coming to get him.” I'm a blubbering mess, spilling all my secrets to some man I don't even know. “I chose to save my sister over going back to him.”
Damon's face remains impassive. “Yeah, and family does that for family. You love your sister, and it shows. Look at all you've sacrificed to find her.”
“Well, it means nothing now. I don't even know where she is or who took her.” I swipe at some tears sliding down my cheeks. My face hurts. In fact, my entire body hurts.
“We’ll find her again. Don’t worry about that now.” As silence blankets us for a moment, I realize I've just had a whole conversation with Xander’s brother, a man who is his complete opposite in every way. And I know in the big scheme of things there are more important things to worry about, but I have to ask the question burning at the tip of my tongue. “Why are you and Xander so different?”
Damon gives me a little sideways smile. He looks so much like his brother, they could be twins if there wasn't an obvious age gap between them.
“I’m starting to think we are not all that different after all.”
“What do you mean? You're married, happy, and have a baby coming soon. Your brother… he doesn't seem to want happiness.”
“Everybody wants happiness, Ella. But Xander doesn’t think he can have it. He doesn't think he's worthy.” Damon pauses, and he seems lost in thought for a moment before continuing, “He has this irrational fear that anyone who loves him is in great danger… which is not that far off. He does have some enemies who could come after you. Being with my brother puts a target on your back. But loving the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, waking up every day next to them, it makes it worth it.”
There's so much honesty to his words it seems like he's speaking from experience. I tug Xander’s jacket around my midsection, wanting to feel warm.
I don’t know why I ask Damon the next question I do, maybe I'm curious, or hopeless? Or maybe I'm a gunning for punishment. “Do you think your brother loves me?”
“Whatever he is feeling for you… it’s pretty damn close to it.” I want to ask him more, sensing that this is a rare opportunity to have Damon on the spot like this but before I can get my next question out, we are interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.
“Stay on the bed,” Damon orders and walks out the door. I hear him saying something off in the distance, but I can’t make out what.
Then I hear Xander’s voice and damn near sigh in relief. He is here. I want to jump up and run to him but decide it’s probably better to wait here for him.
A moment later, I hear the front door open and close again. Did he leave? I can hear my pulse in my ears. My eyes never waver from the bedroom door and when Xander’s tall frame shadows the threshold, my heart stops beating for a few seconds.
My eyes rake over his body. He is wearing everything he was when we went to dinner, though his clothing is ruffled up like he slept in it, but that’s not what really catches my eye. No, it’s the blood stains splattered across his shirt that get my attention. Then I see his hands, which are almost completely red. As if he dipped them in red paint and pulled them out.
“Are you hurt?” My lips tremble as I ask. I’m not sure what I’d do if he was hurt because of my stupid actions.
“It’s not my blood, Mouse.” He simply answers, no real emotion to his voice. He starts unbuttoning his shirt and walks into the bathroom. I hear him turn on the shower, but I remain on the bed. He didn’t ask me to come with him, and I’m not sure what kind of mood he is in right now. Plus, I’ve done enough disobeying tonight.
38
Xander
I watch the blood swirl down the drain. I killed again for her. I killed Benny, and I didn’t care one fucking bit. Hell, I wish I could bring him back to life and kill him again just for doing what he did to her.
I want to be mad at her… I want to fucking hurt her, but she didn’t do anything wrong. She didn’t ask to be put up on that stage or drugged. My sweet, innocent mouse didn’t ask for any of this. She just wanted to find her sister, and she ended up getting me instead.
I try and push the memory of her standing on that stage all alone from my mind, but I can’t shake it. I can’t shake how close to losing her I was. That bastard would’ve never outbid me, but that’s not what fucking matters.
There was a chance I could’ve lost her, and that’s like a fucking kick to the nut sack. I run my fingers through my hair, letting water cascade down my face. The plan was not to draw attention, and we all but took the spotlight and put it on us. There was no way that we were leaving with my father in our grasp now, no way in fucking hell. I want to punch my fist through the fucking wall. I’m so angry… mainly at myself. For putting Mouse in the situation I did.
I rinse once more before I step out and dry myself off. My eyes catch on the two bathrobes hanging next to the shower. A thought enters my mind. I might not be able to hurt Mouse, but I can regain control over her and that will calm the storm inside me, which is almost as good.
I slide the belts out of the bathrobes one by one and walk back into the bedroom. I know I’m a sick bastard, but I don’t fucking care. My cock hardens at the sight of her. Her pouty lips are frowning. She is sitting on the bed still wrapped up in my suit jacket. She looks up at me with her big blues, full of fear and guilt.
“Xander, I…” I can see the guilt wash over her. She blames herself but she has no fucking clue how wrong she is. Tonight changed something inside me. It gave me a taste of what it would be like to lose her, and that’s something I never want to go through again.
I hold up my now-clean hand to stop her from talking. “Not now, Mouse. No talking, we can do that later. What I need you to do right now is take off everything you are wearing. Toss it to the floor. Then crawl back up onto the bed.”
Her eyes go wide, and she hesitates for a moment before shrugging off my jacket and undoing her bra. I watch her undo the clasps with shaking hands. By the time she gets her thong off, my cock is so fucking hard it hurts.
God, how did I get the most beautiful fucking woman to grace the earth?
I stand at the edge of the bed with the soft belts heavy in my hands. “Come here.”
She timidly scoots over to me, barely meeting my eyes. Grabbing her chin gently, I tilt her face up, so she has no choice but to look at me.
“I’m not going to hurt you, but I need something from you. I need you to give up all control. I’m so close to the edge, Mouse, that I need this from you.”
She blinks up at me as if she is trying to understand what I’m saying.
“Turn around,” I order, when she doesn’t respond.
She follows my command with less hesitation, now that I told her I wasn’t going to hurt her. I take her arms and pull them backward so they meet in the middle of her back, her forearms kissing each other. I start looping one of the belts around her forearms then wrapping the ends around the middle. Once done, I tighten them together.
I hold onto her arms and lower her face first onto the mattress. She turns her face, her cheek resting against the sheets.
“You have no idea how much it killed me to see you on that stage tonight.” I speak more to myself then her, watching as her tiny body shakes with unknown anticipation.
“I’m… I’m…” she starts to say, but I land a hard slap against her smooth ass cheek, cutting off her words. I massage the pink spot with my hand and lean over her body, my mouth finding her ear.
“Shhh, Mouse. You don’t apologize
tonight. Tonight, you take the pleasure I give you. You let me show you how crazy you fucking make me. You let me own you, the way you already own me.”
I pull away and straighten back up. I drag my eyes down her body and trail a finger down her leg all the way to her ankles. I want her at my complete mercy, her body open to every inch of my swollen cock.
Taking the other belt, I loop it around her ankles.
“I’m scared, Xander.” Her voice is shaky, her body trembling softly. I realize then that this is how my father tied her up. But the difference is that I want to give her pleasure, not pain.
“Don’t be scared, Mouse. I’m not my father. I won’t hurt you, never. Just trust me. Give yourself to me.”
“Okay.” Her small voice enters my ears and shoots right down into my soul. I promise myself that I won’t lose control. I won’t hurt my little mouse, never again, and neither will anyone else.
When I finish tightening the restraints on her ankles, I pull her body down to the edge of the bed and roll her onto her side. I push her knees up to her chest, so her ass and pussy are exposed to me.
I lick my lips when I see her pink slit all but begging for my cock. Using two fingers, I run them down the inside of her silky smooth thigh slowly, savoring every inch of her flesh. She’s so soft, so perfect, so mine.
When I reach her center, I use those fingers to circle her already heated clit before I run them up and down her moistened slit. I can feel her growing wetter with each gentle stroke. Her breaths turn into heated pants, soft whimpers filling the room every time I move over her clit.
“Your body’s reaction to my touch is unlike anything I’ve experienced before. Your body wants me without thought. It senses me; it knows the pleasure that only I can give you. Doesn’t it, Mouse?”
I dip one finger inside of her when her wetness starts to coat it, and I know she is ready. I move my finger inside her very slowly, very gently stopping once I’m knuckle deep. She is still so fucking tight, her pussy squeezing my fingers just like she squeezed my cock nearly twenty-four hours ago.
I give her a moment to adjust and then I start moving in and out of her. I set a small rhythm and when my strokes become faster and her breathing turns into hard pants, I add a second finger.
“Come for me, Mouse.” I plunge deeper inside her, bending my fingers slightly, to rub at that perfect spot at the very top of her pussy.
“Xander…” she gasps. “It feels… soooo…”
“I know, baby. I know. Come on my fingers. Show me how much you want this. How much your perfect pussy wants my cock.”
Maybe it’s my dirty words or just my deep precise strokes. I don’t know but I feel the distinct flutter of her pussy muscles before she starts squeezing me so tightly it feels like she’s trying to push me out. I pull my fingers out of her and roll her over onto her belly, pushing her knees upward.
She whimpers softly into the bed sheets as I move her, and I dip down between her legs, licking her slick pussy. Her sweet cream coats my tongue, the flavor exploding inside my mouth. My cock throbs, hanging heavily between us.
“Xander,” Mouse calls out for me. Like a lighthouse against the shore, she beckons me forward, guiding me out of the darkness.
Fisting my cock in my hands, I move so that I’m directly behind her, the velvety smooth head of my cock probing her tight entrance.
“I’m going to fuck you hard, Mouse, so hard the air will still deep inside your lungs. So hard you’ll feel me deep inside you every time you move.”
“Please,” she begs, and that one single word snaps something deep inside of me. I smirk, flexing my hips forward, plunging deep inside her. I listen as her breath hitches as I fill her to the hilt. I grip onto her hips with bruising force and slide all the way out of her, watching as her perfect pussy swallows my cock whole, taking every greedy inch I give it.
Gritting my teeth, I keep up the movements, in, out, in, out. Each stroke sends a shiver of pleasure up my spine. She’s so soft, so fucking responsive, and so mine. Fuck, she’s mine. All fucking mine.
“You belong to me, Mouse,” I snarl, feeling all the blood in my body pump to my cock. I slam into her, again and again, feeling her pussy tighten around me.
“Yes.” She pants into the sheets, her fingers reaching for me, but I don’t want her touch. I want more, something deeper.
Without thought, I sink my fingers into her hair and force her head backward to look into my eyes while continuing to enter her hard. The sounds of our harsh breathing, and slaps of our bodies meeting each other echoes throughout the room.
“Fuck, Mouse, fuck…” I can’t stop the words from escaping my mouth. Pleasure fills her eyes, and her body shakes slightly, her pussy squeezing around my cock as she falls apart.
An incoherent moan fills her throat, and I release my hold on her hair, shoving her face back down into the mattress.
She cries out, in pleasure or pain, I’m not really sure, but I’m too far gone to stop. I hold her in place, fucking her straight through her orgasm, forcing her to take more of me, deeper.
A tightening in my balls tells me I’m close, and I can feel Mouse’s release dripping down over my cock.
“Mine. All fucking mine,” I roar, slamming into her, my pace relentless, as an earth-shattering orgasm tightens deep inside me. The knot of pleasure unravels, and I explode, my sticky cum filling her tight womb. I hold myself in place, letting her tightness milk every last fucking drop of my release. My chest heaves, and my heart races. I’ve never come so hard before.
Her pussy quivers around my cock, pushing out our combined juices. My gaze drops down to where we were connected. I made her perfect pussy all messy.
I untie her arms, and then her ankles, watching as she sags to the mattress in exhaustion. I brush a few sweat-slicked strands from her face, lying down beside her. Her big blue eyes peer into mine, her cheeks are pink, and her body is thoroughly worked over. She looks like she might fall asleep, and I couldn’t blame her if she did.
“I’m sorry for everything that happened tonight.”
“No. You have no reason to be sorry. None at all. You did everything I asked you to do. But like I told you, there are worse fucking men than me in this world and you met them tonight.”
“I found her,” she announces, placing a hand beneath her cheek, like a small child would, as she continues to gaze at me. “I walked down that hall instead of coming back for you.” Tears glisten in her eyes, and I know she feels guilty for doing what she did. But wouldn’t I have done the same? Hadn’t I? I’d killed or thought I killed our father for Damon.
“I betrayed you… I put myself in a situation and got caught. I made you spend all that money on me. Money that I’m not worth.” Guilt coats every word she says, and her bottom lip trembles. Her voice cracks me straight down the middle. She’s beating herself up over something that has already happened.
“I already know, Mouse. I know everything. I killed Benny, but not without getting all the information I could out of him first.” I felt no remorse over killing him either. He deserved to die.”
“You… you aren’t mad? You don’t want to punish me? Or kill me?” I blink, realizing I need to let her know how important she is to me. Maybe paying five million dollars to save her and have her as my own wasn’t enough. Maybe I need to tell her... with my voice
“No, Mouse. I don’t want to hurt you, and I won’t, nor will anyone else. You belong to me, and I…” My voice trembles. “I belong to you.” I whisper into her hair, pulling her into my chest.
“You… you love me?” She sounds shocked, as if she can’t believe what she is hearing.
I chuckle. “I don’t know if I can ever love anyone, but I care about you, and I think that’s the same thing. I’ve killed for you. I’ve protected you. I’ve showed you kindness that I don’t even show my brother… so if that’s what love is, then yes… Yes, I love you.”
“Xander.” My name falls from her lips on a sigh and I know I�
��ll never get tired of hearing her say it. I’ll never get tired of having her as mine, because for once in my life, it feels like I’ve found a home.
“Mine,” I growl, holding her tighter.
Always mine. Always.
39
Ella
When we return home from Vegas, Xander and I get into a normal routine, or as normal as being with a criminal can be. I start to feel less like a prisoner and more like a member of his family. He treats me with the same respect he gives his brother and even leaves me with his son here and there.
I start to get comfortable with the idea of being his and maybe us being together but there are so many unknowns to our situation.
Xander comes with a heavy price tag… one that could cost me my life, and after Vegas, I'm not certain I'm prepared to go against any of his future enemies. I eye the adorable little boy sitting on the floor in front of me.
He just hit the six-month mark the nanny told me when I came in to feed him this morning. He was trying to bend upward like he wanted to sit up, so I put him on the floor and surrounded him by five pillows in case he falls over. Now he’s giving me a slobbery toothless grin, and I can't help but smile back at him. He’s adorable, looking like a complete miniature version of his father. He would be worth staying and being with Xander for, but the fear of never finding my sister again or dying at the hands of Xander’s enemies is real and I can’t shake the thoughts from entering my mind.
“You're just as handsome as your father,” I coo at Q. His dark eyes sparkle with happiness, as he flings his chubby hands around. I think about all that Xander has done to protect his son, what he will continue to do.
“You think I’m handsome?” Xander’s deep honeyed voice startles me and I jump, turning and craning my neck toward the door. I take in his devilishly handsome features. His black hair is slicked back, and his eyes look more brown then black today.