by Anne Mather
‘That night—that night I walked out of the hotel, I knew then I’d made a terrible mistake—–’
‘Yet you never came back.’ Rafaello’s mouth tightened.
‘No.’ Jaime shook her head. ‘No, I didn’t do that. But only because I was sure you would come after me.’ She sighed. ‘I was so conceited—so stubborn!’ She broke off unsteadily. ‘Then I read in the papers that you were going to marry Nicola, and—and there was nothing—–’
‘You could have stopped me!’
‘What?’ Jaime quivered. ‘When I thought you were marrying Nicola because you wanted her?’
Rafaello was tugging the pins out of her hair, but at her words he stopped to stare into her eyes. ‘I told you how it was.’
‘Now you have.’ Jaime nodded. ‘But then—’
‘Dio mio, Jaime, if you only knew how I hated myself that night—the night you left!’ He paused. ‘Tell me, if I had not—touched you, would you have forgiven me sooner?’
‘Oh, Raf, there was nothing to forgive. Nothing. I didn’t blame you. At least, not until you married Nicola. Then I thought—–’
‘—–that I had not loved you at all?’
‘My mother would have said so.’
‘You did not tell her?’
‘No.’ With her hair loose about her shoulders, Jaime looked absurdly young and vulnerable. ‘My mother and I—we don’t talk about things like that. We see one another perhaps twice a year, that’s all.’ She sighed, touching Rafaello’s cheek with endearing tenderness. ‘Lately,’ she added, ‘lately, I’ve been wondering whether my father was entirely to blame for what happened to their marriage. Perhaps my mother should never have got married. Maybe she never had any real feelings for either of us. In any event, I know now that I’m not like her. Living—living without you is no substitute for what we had.’
‘Oh, Jaime—–’ Rafaello threaded the silken strands of her hair through his fingers, gathering handfuls of softness against his lips, tasting its newly-washed sweetness. ‘What a lot of time we’ve wasted!’
‘I’ve wasted,’ Jaime corrected him huskily. ‘Blame me, no one else.’
For a while there was silence in the study, but eventually Rafaello compelled her back from him. ‘We—we have to talk,’ he declared unevenly, ‘and holding you like this—–’ He drew a deep breath.
‘Well, we have to talk.’
‘Can I stay?’
Jaime looked up at him anxiously, and Rafaello moved his shoulders in a helpless gesture. ‘I have said so.’
‘I mean—with you,’ breathed Jaime, chafing at his restraining hands. ‘Oh, Raf, we can talk for ever. Only now I want you to hold me.’
‘Jaime, if I go on holding you—–’
‘I know,’ she nodded. ‘But why is that so wrong? It’s what we both want, isn’t it?’
‘Jaime, I have to tell you about Nicola.’
‘There’s no need. I know.’
‘I have to tell you that I did not know you were in ignorance about—about the child.’
‘I know that, too.’
‘That was why I spoke to you as I did,’ he added. ‘That was why I tried to hate you for taking her part.’
‘Raf, it’s over now.’
‘Is it?’ Rafaello sighed. ‘I should never have married her.’
Jaime shook her head. ‘Darling, she married you.’
Rafaello’s hands tightened on her shoulders. ‘I blamed myself at first, you know. That first child was mine. If she had not had the miscarriage—–’
‘Raf, you didn’t cause it.’ She paused. ‘She told me that she—wasn’t happy here. She got bored.’
Rafaello bent his head. ‘I think she expected a different kind of life.’
Jaime’s eyes were warm with compassion. ‘Darling, didn’t we all?’
Rafaello looked down at her with troubled eyes. ‘I would never have left her, you know.’
‘I know.’ Jaime’s voice broke. ‘I would never have asked you to.’
‘Oh, Jaime—–’
With a helpless groan, Rafaello gathered her into his arms, his lips against her ear warm with the healing breath of relief. ‘I love you so much,’ he muttered, ‘so very much. There are no words to tell you how I feel…’
Some hours later, Jaime awakened to find Rafaello had turned on the lamp beside his bed and was watching her as she slept. With her hair a tumbled skein of pale silk about her shoulders, and the afterglow of his lovemaking in her cheeks, she looked flushed and adorable, and Rafaello was not immune to the parted invitation of her mouth.
‘Can’t you sleep?’ she asked drowsily, lifting her hand to stroke his cheek as he released her lips, and Rafaello smiled.
‘I have all my life to sleep,’ he told her, his eyes dark with emotion. ‘I just wanted to assure myself that it had not all been a dream.’
‘It’s no dream,’ Jaime whispered, linking her bare arms about his neck. ‘Hmm, you look better already. I was so worried about you when I arrived.’
Rafaello’s smile was wry. ‘I guess I am supposed to take that as a compliment,’ he remarked humorously. ‘Or perhaps it is to convince me that I cannot live without you.’ His eyes grew tender. ‘Believe me, I need no further proof of that.’
Jaime moistened her lips. ‘Will you come back to London with me? To help me clear out my apartment,’ she added quickly, as his expression grew wary. ‘Darling, Martin—that’s my boss—Martin already knows he needs a new assistant. But I owe it to my housekeeper to explain what’s going on.’ She sighed. ‘Poor Mrs Purdom, I don’t know what she’ll do.’
‘You do not think she would like to live in Italy, too?’ suggested Rafaello gently, his lips stroking the curve of one creamy breast. ‘You will need someone to look after you, will you not? And you may be glad of an Englishwoman to take care of our children, when we have them.’
Jaime’s eyes sparkled. ‘Oh, Raf, what a marvellous idea!’
‘I am glad you approve.’ Rafaello smiled at her possessively. ‘And yes, I will come with you to London. I have no intention of allowing you to leave me again, even for one night.’ His lips sought hers. ‘But we will come back to Vaggio for Christmas, if you can bear it.’
‘It’s our home,’ said Jaime simply, and Rafaello bent his head in acknowledgement.
‘And Nicola?’
‘Perhaps she will be glad that we are happy,’ said Jaime softly. ‘But I’m glad you didn’t share her rooms. We’ll have them redecorated for visitors, for your mother.’
‘My mother!’ Rafaello grimaced. ‘Oh, yes, I think my mother will be well pleased.’
‘So do I,’ murmured Jaime comfortably.
‘She never wanted me to marry an English girl, you know,’ he confessed, moving to imprison her beneath him. ‘Until she met you. Then she changed her mind.’
‘Did she?’
Jaime yielded to his demands with urgent abandonment, and as Rafaello’s aroused body took possession of hers, she decided that that lady would be delighted that her plans had succeeded.
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IMPRINT: Sexy
ISBN: 9781488742910
TITLE: AN ELUSIVE DESIRE
First Australian Publication 2014
Copyright © 2014 Anne Mather
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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