Deanna Tompkins

by Blue Mountain Passion

  She arrived at the depot and approached the one man ticket booth where a short, balding man with a moustache looked up. “Yes?”

  Meagan handed him a bunched piece of paper. "I bought this ticket to California, but I've changed my mind. I want to go to Meeker."

  The man took the ticket between two fingers and glanced down at it. "You just came from Meeker," he pointed out.

  "I know that,” Meagan exclaimed impatiently, “I want to go back.”

  The man leaned back in his chair. "Sorry, lady, but the next stage to Meeker won't be until Wednesday. We only run through there twice a week.”

  Meagan felt the beginnings of despair. "Is there any way you can get me there sooner?" Two days would seem like an impossible wait.

  "No way I know of,” he answered with a shrug. “Sorry."

  Defeated, Meagan turned away.

  “Hey, wait a minute,” the man in the ticket booth called out.

  Meagan spun around, "Yes?"

  "I just remembered that Beth Summers is planning a trip out that direction. You might be able to hitch a ride with her."

  Hope ignited in her, "where can I find her?"

  He pointed, "down the road, third building on your left.”

  "Thanks," Meagan smiled, “thank you very much,” she turned and practically ran down the dusty street. It was the most energy she’d felt all day. She entered the red brick building and spotted a woman sitting behind a printing press. “Excuse me.”

  Large blue eyes fringed with dark lashes looked up at her. Yes?"

  Meagan moved in closer. "Are you Beth Summers?"

  "I am."

  "Hi, I’m Meagan,” she stepped closer, “could I talk to you for a moment?"

  "I'm in a big hurry. I'm leaving town in less than an hour, and I have more to do than I can accomplish in so short a time."

  Meagan knelt to meet the woman's gaze. "I need to get to Meeker today and the ticket man said you might be going that direction."

  Beth sat back and stared keenly at her. "What business do you have in Meeker that can’t wait for the stage on Wednesday?"

  Meagan hedged, "there’s someone there I need to see. He might be gone by Wednesday."

  “I see,” Beth scrutinized her. “What did you say your name was again?”

  “Meagan,” she repeated, “Meagan Daniel’s”

  Just then a man walked into the building. "Beth, good news." Both women turned to look at him.

  "Cole's going to be fine. Fever broke a few hours back. Anne just sent word."

  A huge smile spread across Beth's face. "Thanks, Mike."

  Meagan felt weak with relief. She shut her eyes and thanked God for saving him. When she opened them again, Beth was staring at her. “You look as happy about that news as I am,” she observed.

  Heat rose to Meagan’s cheeks. “I don’t know what you mean.” She saw the doubt in Beth’s gaze and sputtered, “I’ve got to go.” She turned to leave.

  “I thought you wanted to go to Meeker?”

  “Not anymore.”

  Meagan was out the door and on her way down the street when the woman called out, "You know Cole, don’t you?"

  Meagan stopped and turned reluctantly back. She nodded. “I guess you do, too.”

  “Doesn’t everybody?” Beth questioned casually.

  "I don't know." Inquiring green eyes met intense blue ones. "Do they?"

  "Around here, they do. The McAllister's are well known throughout these parts."

  "They are?"

  "Of course. That's why I was doing a story on them."

  "A story?"

  She nodded. “I run the local paper, and when word arrived that Cole McAllister had been shot, I knew it was my story. It's news, Meagan, and news sells papers." Beth stood. "However, my trip has just been canceled."

  "Why?"

  "Because Cole is fine. No story anymore."

  "You wanted him to die?"

  "Of course not, I was as happy as you to learn he wouldn’t die, but it would have been better press if he had stayed sick a little longer. A story’s always better when people don’t know the ending. “

  Meagan couldn't believe her ears. "I really don't understand."

  "Of course you don't. You're not a reporter." Beth stood, "what are you going to do now?"

  Meagan turned back to the woman, all the pain and frustration of the past days bringing her to her breaking point. "What?"

  "I just wondered, since I'm not going to Meeker and apparently, neither are you, what you intend to do now?"

  “Go to California, I guess,” Meagan muttered, unable to work up any enthusiasm for the long trip.

  “California? Why?"

  “I don’t know.” Meagan was in no mood to make up stories anymore. “To find work, I guess.”

  “You’re looking for work?“

  Meagan chose rudeness over answering any more questions and said abruptly, “I’ve got to go.”

  “I need someone to watch my children.”

  This woman was incredibly odd, Meagan thought, and intended to say just that. When she opened her mouth, though, that wasn’t what left her lips. "You want to hire me to watch your children?"

  Beth nodded. "I do."

  "You don't even know me," Meagan pointed out.

  "I want to get to know you better. Besides, in a town this size you won't be able to get away with a thing without me knowing about it." Beth grinned. "How about it?"

  Meagan was broke. Cole was going to be fine.

  "It pays thirty dollars a month."

  "I'll take it."

  Beth nodded. "Follow me. I'll show you where I live and introduce you to the children."

  Meagan hastened to catch up to Beth, realizing she had no idea how many children she'd be caring for.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Meagan walked woodenly down the street, her body numb with shock.

  "Good morning Meagan, you're out early this morning."

  She passed Mrs. Perkins in a daze. She managed, somehow, to turn where necessary, stop for approaching wagons and step over the piles of dung that always littered the streets.

  She collided with Jason Patterson, the first and only banker Jensen had ever boasted.

  "Pardon me, Miss. Daniels. Clumsy of me, I'm sure." He tipped his hat apologetically.

  She barely managed a nod as she continued her quest toward home. She entered the house to the normal chaos, but Meagan knew life was anything but normal.

  "Meagan," Beth smiled, "there you are. I wondered where you'd gone."

  "I went for a walk," Meagan replied, half truthfully.

  Beth moved from one side of the room to the other, encouraging the children to eat while buttoning her blouse and running a comb through her short black hair. She grabbed a slice of bread but didn't bother to butter it before she turned and headed out the door.

  Meagan had been in Jensen for a little more than two months, and had come to love Beth, her three children, Peter, Charlene, and Tommy, and even her husband Bryan, who was a never ending frustration to both women with his demanding schedule and high expectations. Meagan worried how he'd respond to her news.

  Beth popped her head back inside, “Meagan, don't forget to make Tommy finish all of his breakfast. We both know what a softy you are, but he really needs to eat every bite. Oh, and Peter was planning on helping me out this afternoon at the paper, so you can walk him down after lunch. Bryan said he was sorry he missed dinner last night, but promised he'd make it tonight. Oh, and Meagan..."

  Through all the farewell advice, Meagan simply nodded, knowing that Tommy always finished his breakfast, that Peter went to the paper every Monday and Wednesday afternoon, and that Bryan usually didn't make it to dinner.

  "Yes, Beth?"

  "Try to find time to relax. You do too much."

  Meagan smiled in spite of herself as she watched Beth hurry away. She hadn't had a moment of peace since taking the job and she loved every minute of it. It made the days speed b
y and helped to keep her mind off her loneliness. Meagan forced that thought away. With all these wonderful people around her, how could she possible be lonely?

  Her stomach roiled disagreeably. She wiped Tommy's face then lifted him from his chair and carried him into the parlor with her. He was almost two, and a handful. She sat down and placed him near her feet . Charlene bounced into her lap, grabbing a strand of her hair. She twisted it between her thumb and finger in a habit she'd acquired the first day Meagan held her. She was five, and absolutely adorable with big blue eyes just like her mama.

  Peter, at the whopping age of nine was a lot like his father, Bryan. His sandy brown hair and bright green eyes were irresistible, as was his wide, crooked grin. He had a sprinkling of freckles across the bridge of his nose, which was usually red and peeling since he continuously forgot to protect his sensitive skin from the sun.

  Meagan felt a second wave of nauseous hit her. "Peter, would you do me a favor and take Charlene outside to play for a few minutes."

  "Sure." Peter picked his sister up and carried her away without a single protest. He was a great kid. Meagan sat in the relative quiet, with only Tommy to contend with. She shut her eyes and rested her head against the back of her chair. Minutes later, her stomach settled, and after several deep breaths, she relaxed.

  What was she going to do now? She placed her hands gently against her stomach, feeling for any hint of swelling. There was none. She was going to have Cole's baby. Part of her was thrilled at the news. To have a part of him with her, forever, was a dream come true. Another part of her worried, because she knew if her baby wasn’t welcomed with open arms, she couldn’t stay, and if she didn’t stay, then what would she do?

  "tside"

  Meagan glanced down at Tommy. He was standing beside her, pointing to his sister and brother. "tside, go tside."

  Meagan held her arms out to him, and he walked into them. She hugged him tightly to her. She so wanted her child to have a family, like Tommy did, a family with a mother and father to love, maybe a sister or brother to play with. Meagan realized with a sinking heart that her child would never have any of that.

  "I knew something was wrong."

  Meagan jumped and startled Tommy, who began to whimper.

  "Tommy, sweetheart, come here."

  Tommy ran to his mother, who scooped him into her arms. Her eyes never left Meagan's. "We need to talk."

  Meagan wiped at her tears. "You're busy now. We'll talk later."

  "We'll talk in ten minutes." Beth headed out the door, and, true to her word she returned ten minutes later, alone. "Bryan is watching the children."

  Meagan could imagine his horror as three children were dumped on him in the middle of the morning, his busiest time. "I'm sure he was thrilled about that."

  Beth sat down beside Meagan. "It'll do him good. Now, tell me what's wrong."

  Meagan watched her hands twist in her lap. She stared at them, mesmerized by their motion. She finally met Beth's inquisitive stare. "I'm pregnant," she blurted, then turned away, afraid of Beth's response.

  "I thought so."

  Intense astonishment washed through Meagan. "How could you possibly think that? I didn't find out until this morning."

  "I've had three children, Meagan. I recognize a pregnant woman's symptoms when I see them."

  "But, how could you even assume I'd..." Meagan paused, unsure of how to continue.

  Beth stared at her for several uncomfortable seconds before responding. "I think it's time you told me about your life before you came here, Meagan."

  Meagan stood. "My past is my past. I want to keep it there."

  "Your past is now your future, as well."

  Beth's words filled Meagan with sadness. She could never forget her past, not when she would raise Cole's child. Licking her lips nervously, Meagan attempted humor. "I'm afraid my past might make Bryan's front page story tomorrow."

  Beth smiled easily. "I don't think you have to worry about that, Meagan. Now," she patted the empty place beside her, "sit down and tell me."

  Meagan sat, stiffly erect beside Beth. She hadn't realized how tense she was until Beth pried her fingers loose from the tight fist she'd formed and wrapped her hands around it.

  Meagan took a deep breath. "I used to live in Blue Mountain, on a ranch, with my pa." Meagan stared directly at Beth, "The McAllister ranch."

  Meagan expected shock, or at the least surprise, but Beth held silent, waiting for more information.

  "My pa died about nine months ago, and my cabin burned down several months later," she chose not to complicate the story with the fact that her father had been murdered and her cabin torched. "I went to live with the McAllister's, in their home."

  Still no reaction from Beth. Meagan felt a bit braver as she continued. "I fell in love." She forgot all about Beth's presence as she remembered. "Actually, I suppose I'd done that when I was thirteen, but now I was absolutely certain. I tried to hate him, but instead I loved him just a bit more each day. Soon, I hoped for nothing more than to spend my life with him."

  Meagan didn't consider the intimacy of the details she shared as she remembered her time with Cole. "When we came together as man and woman, there was no shame. It felt right. I never regretted it, not for a moment. Not then, not now."

  She slipped her hand from Beth's and stood. "I lied to him. I felt pushed into a corner, forced to make a choice between blood ties, and him." Anguish tore through her. "He doesn't know my choice was him. It was always him."

  Her pain intensified with each word. "He'd lived his life blaming himself for something he couldn't have stopped.” She took a deep gulp of air in an effort to force back her tears. "All he wanted was a woman he could believe in, a woman he could trust. He picked me, the most deceiving, wicked person he could ever have chosen."

  "That's enough, Meagan." Beth stood, grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her around to face her. "You are not wicked."

  Meagan bowed her head. "I lied to the only man I'll ever love. Because of that, he almost died."

  "Look at me, Meagan."

  Meagan couldn't, her shame was too great.

  "Meagan, I want you to look at me."

  She did. "Who is this man you love?"

  Meagan pictured Cole in her mind. She hadn't allowed herself to miss him until now.

  "Meagan, who is he?" Beth insisted.

  "Cole McAllister." The feel of his name spoken from her lips brought the reality home. She crumpled into a heap of misery on the floor, her trembling hands held tight to her face as she sobbed for all she'd lost.

  "Meagan, stand up."

  She didn’t, couldn’t.

  "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stand up,” Beth ordered in such a stern tone that Meagan complied.

  "You have a child to consider, Meagan. You're a lucky woman, to raise the child of the man you love."

  Meagan nodded. "I know, but,"

  "No," Beth interjected, "you only remember that. Many women live their entire lives searching for a love like you've experienced. They never find it." Beth arched one fine brow her way. "Have you even considered trying to win him back?"

  "I did try," Meagan explained. "I wrote him a letter."

  "And?"

  "He never responded."

  A worried frown marred Beth's features as she puzzled over that. "Are you sure he got it?"

  "I assume so. I've written several letters to a good friend who lives there, and she's responded."

  With a small shrug Beth stated, "it doesn't matter, anyway." She chucked her under the chin. "Cheer up, Meagan, you're going to have a baby!"

  Meagan managed a weak smile.

  "A bit shaky, but it's a start," Beth teased.

  Meagan grinned then. Beth was right. She'd loved Cole with all her heart, and now she was being blessed with his child. It was a time for celebration.

  Beth placed her arm around her shoulders and led her towards the door. "Why don't you go save my husband from his three children
before he goes completely insane."

  Meagan sniffed. "What about you? Aren't you coming?"

  "I'll follow soon. I have to mail a letter first."

  Beth watched Meagan leave. She'd found out everything she needed to know. Now, finally, she was going to put her plan into action. Sitting down, she quickly scrawled a letter. With a smug smile, she folded it and headed toward the post office. If she couldn't get Meagan and her brother back together, then nobody could.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Cole tossed restlessly from side to side. He reached out, caressing the spot beside him. He came in contact with empty space. With a reluctance born of experience he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Meagan wouldn't be there. She never was. He stretched, ignoring his stiff muscles as he tossed his feet over the side of the bed.

  With slow, methodical movements, he took care of his morning rituals, not bothering to shave for the third day in a row. There was no one to pay any mind to what he looked like, anyway.

  "Hey, Cole, want some company?"

  Cole waved to Pete, who stood in the opening that would soon be a door. "Come on in. Have some coffee."

  "Don't mind if I do."

  Cole watched as Pete picked up the empty pot. "You aint got none made."

  Cole shrugged. "I figured you could do that."

  Pete frowned as he began the process. "Sleep in late again?"

  Cole scratched his head. "Guess I did."

  "What's happenin' Cole? You're finishin' up here . You should be excited."

  Cole paced restlessly. He spotted a shirt he'd only worn a couple times and slipped it over his head. "Excited about what?"

  "About fetching your young lady and bringin' 'er 'ere to live,” Pete reminded him. “Hell, Cole, isn't that what this has been about?"

  Cole had no idea, anymore. He'd come here determined to replace Meagan's home. He'd worked beside Pete every day for nearly two months completing it. "I don't even know where Meagan's at, Pete."

  "That's the next part of your plan," Pete reminded him again as he gestured in a sweeping motion with one arm. "Build this here place, then find Meagan and convince 'er to live 'ere, with you. Remember?"