187 What Barrett and her collaborators (including one of my newest Carolina colleagues, Kristen Lindquist) have asked is simply, what is an emotion?: Lisa Feldman Barrett (2012). “Emotions are real.” Emotion. See also Kristen A. Lindquist and Lisa Feldman Barrett (2008). “Constructing emotion: The experience of fear as a conceptual act.” Psychological Science 19(9): 898–903.
187 William James himself devoted considerable attention to this very question back in 1884: William James (1884). “What is an emotion?” Mind 9: 188–205.
188 Research coming out of Barrett’s lab and other labs, including my own: Barrett (2012); Lindquist and Barrett (2008). See also forthcoming publications by Lindsay Kennedy, Bethany Kok, and me.
188 Those who took anger to be an emotion showed the typical jumps in heart rate and blood pressure, whereas those for whom the idea that anger is an emotion was debunked had an appreciably more muted cardiovascular response: Kennedy, Kok, and Fredrickson. Manuscript in preparation.
189 A global poll, released on Valentine’s Day, 2012, revealed that most married people, or those similarly coupled, identify their significant other as their most important source of happiness: http://af.reuters.com/article/commoditiesNews/idAFL2E8DDGDX20120214?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0.
190 By the flip of a coin, they tried either LKM or a different style of mediation, one that does not aim to cultivate loving feelings: In this latest research, we compare learning loving-kindness meditation to learning mindfulness meditation, a similar practice albeit with less emphasis on cultivating positive emotions. This is work I am conducting with Steve Cole, Karen Grewen, Sara Algoe, Sy-Miin Chow, Kimberly Coffey, Ann Firestine, and others, which is funded by the National Institute of Nursing Research at NIH (R01NR012899).
191 Feeling good is that indicator: See classic work by Michel Cabanac (1971). “Physiological role of pleasure.” Science 173(4002): 1103–7.
191 That’s because good feelings trigger a cascade of neurochemicals that makes you like whatever caused it: Berridge (2007).
192 Evidence suggests that it isn’t until midlife or beyond that people develop true wisdom about positivity’s quiet cues: Catalino, Coffey, and Fredrickson. Manuscript in preparation.
Index
Acceptance, 106, 133–136
Adaptation, 27–28
Adversity, 142–144, 149
Alcohol consumption, 86
Algoe, Sara, 76
Alzheimer’s disease, 83, 86
Amusement, 7, 10, 12
Amygdala, 50, 53, 58
Anger, 16, 28, 187, 188
Animal ancestors, 27–29
Appreciation, 76
Armstrong, Karen, 180–183
Armstrong, Louis, 17
Arthritis, 59, 85
Attachment, 48
Attraction, 139
Atwood, Margaret, 3
Awareness, broadened, 82, 83
Barrett, Lisa Feldman, 187–188
“Be open” motto, 104, 146
“Be positive” motto, 104
Bedtime rituals, 25–26
Beecher, Henry Ward, 185
Benefit/benefactor, 76
Biobehavioral synchrony, 17, 18, 22, 23, 25, 30–31, 52, 70–71, 74, 169
“Biography” (Masefield), 84
Blake, William, 64, 181
Blessings, counting, 155
Blood pressure, 51, 86, 128, 188
Body mass index, 190
Body’s definition of love, 4–6, 10, 13, 15–38, 29, 190–191
Bonds, 5–6, 9, 28–30, 35–36, 52
Boston University, Danielsen Institute, 179
Brach, Tara, 132
Brain, 40–47, 58, 61
Brain coupling, 43–46, 58
Brain imaging, 41–47, 65, 66
Breathing, 54, 124
Broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions, 8, 9, 11, 22, 53, 60
Buddhism, 11, 102, 116, 117, 181, 182
Calm-and-connect response, 51, 54
Cancer, 85
Cardiac arrhythmia, 55, 57
Cardiovascular disease, 59
Carr, Lloyd, 70
Case for God, The (Armstrong), 180
Catalino, Lahnna, 13, 154
Celebratory love, 153–160
Cells, 4, 27, 29, 59–60, 85, 190–192
Center for Investigating Healthy Minds, University of Wisconsin–Madison, 133
Child development, 33–34
Childbirth, 48
Cicero, 95, 96
Cognitive behavioral therapy, 131
Cognitive functioning, 34, 83
Colds, 86
Cole, Steve, 85, 190
Commitment, 6, 9, 35–36, 75
Communication, brain coupling and, 44–45
Compassion, 10, 67, 142, 143–153, 160
Connection, 9, 10, 12, 17–29, 37, 47, 51, 54, 58, 68, 72, 75, 77, 86, 96, 97, 109, 137, 141, 142, 169, 179, 194
Conversation, 16, 22, 23, 41–44, 71, 82–83
Coping mechanisms, 79
Core effect, 187–188
Cortisol, 50, 59
Couples, studies of, 73–75
Criticism, 69
self-, 115, 129, 131, 137
Crowd euphoria, 70
Cultural heritage, 7
Dalai Lama, 56, 58, 116–117, 122, 133
Danielsen Institute, Boston University, 179
Darwin, Charles, 93
Darwinian natural selection, 19, 28, 187, 191
Davidson, Richard, 133
Day Reconstruction Method (DRM), 166–170
Depression, 19, 33–34, 116
Diabetes, 85, 86
Dickinson, Emily, 39
Dissatisfaction, 116
Distancing, 155
Divorce, 79
DNA, 4, 27, 29, 59, 60, 78, 85, 191
Doors of Perception, The (Huxley), 64
Dreisbach, Scott, 70
Eastern philosophies, 39
Ekman, Paul, 21, 93
Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 139
Emotional neglect, 33
Emotions science, 7–8, 11, 105, 186–188
End-of-the-day reflection, 96–98, 100
Enduring resources, 57–58
Environmental Protection Agency, 134
Envy, 140, 154
Exclusivity of love, 6, 7, 16
Eye contact, 20–23, 32, 51, 52, 54, 94, 123, 148
Eyes-closed positivity, 130
Eyes-open positivity, 129–130
Facial expressions, 21, 24, 69
Faith (Salzberg), 182
Fear, 27–29, 187
FFA (extrastriate fusiform face area), 65
Fight-or-flight response, 51, 54
Finger-wagging, 69
First dates, 72
Forecasting, 45
Francis, Saint, 119, 120
Freud, Sigmund, 179
Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), 42, 46, 65
Gestures, 20, 23, 69, 71
Good fortune, 153–156, 158–160
Gottman, John, 80
Gratitude, 7, 10, 76, 155
Greed, 27, 29, 51, 140
Grewen, Karen, 190
Gross, Melissa, 68
Group solidarity, 69
Guided imagery, 103
Guided meditation, 109, 123, 127, 190
Hand gestures, 20, 23, 69, 71
Hasson, Uri, 41–47
Hayes, Mercury, 70
Health, 8, 29, 55, 59–60, 84–86, 183
Heart disease, 85, 86
Heart rate, 8, 51, 53–55, 85, 128, 188
Holding hands, 23
Hope, 7, 10
Humor, 79
Hunter-gatherer ancestors, 7
Huxley, Aldous, 64–66, 181
“If... then” plans, 92
Illness, 29, 59–60, 78
Immune system, 59, 85
Impermanence, 39
Imposter syndrome, 135
Impulse control, 192
Indifference, 155, 156
I
ndividualism, 161
Infant-caregiver synchrony, 25–26, 32–35, 51–52, 58–59, 79
Infatuation, 7
Inflammation, 59, 85, 190
Inner self-talk, 128–131
Inner voice, 83–84, 132
Insight Meditation Society, Barre, Massachusetts, 116
Insincere smiles, 94
Insula, 45, 47
Intersubjectivity, 24
Intimacy, 30–32, 35, 47, 75, 76
Intuition, 21
James, William, 180, 187
Journal writing, 126–127
Joy, 7, 10, 12, 16, 187
Kahneman, Daniel, 167
Kennedy, Lindsay, 188
Kindness, 76, 115
Kinnell, Galway, 119
Kok, Bethany, 56, 97–99, 188
La Rochefoucauld, François de, 15
Lactation, 48
Le Guin, Ursula K., 91
Leans, 69, 75, 86
Life expectancy, 27
Life history, 7
Lindquist, Kristen, 187
Living Buddha, Living Christ (Nhat Hanh), 181
Loneliness, 19, 37, 59, 85
Longevity, 85–86
Longing, as physical state, 3–4
Love
biology of, 12, 19, 39–62
body’s definition of, 4–6, 10, 13, 15–38, 29, 190–191
celebratory, 153–160
compassion and, 143–153, 160
connection and, 9, 10, 12, 17–29, 37, 47, 51, 54, 58, 68, 72, 75, 77, 86, 96, 97, 109, 137, 141, 142, 169, 179, 194
definition of, 9, 15–38
exclusivity of, 6, 7, 16
health and, 84–86
infant-caregiver synchrony, 25–26, 32–35, 51–52, 58–59, 79
longing for, 3–4
Love (cont.)
loving all, 161–184
loving others, 139–160
micro-moments and, 16, 18, 29–33, 37, 45, 52, 55, 60, 67, 68, 75, 76, 79, 84, 86, 91, 93, 98–99, 101, 162–163, 166, 194
nonverbal cues and, 68–69, 72
as nourishment for body, 4
as physical feeling, 93
preexisting beliefs about, 6–7
products of, 6
relationships and commitment view of, 5–6
resilience and, 77–81
ripple effects of, 63–87
science of, 4–7, 10, 12–13, 185–187
similarity and, 139–141
spirituality and, 178–183
as supreme emotion, 10, 14, 24, 194
unconditional, 6, 20
use of word, 9–10
Loveliness, 119
Loving-kindness meditation (LKM), 11–12, 25, 56, 57, 96–97, 102–110, 116–118, 120–127, 162, 190
Lovingkindness (Salzberg), 119
Loyalty, 9, 28, 31, 35
Magical thinking, 105, 162
Maître, 11
Marriage
ceremonies, 7
positive emotions and, 80
successful, 35, 74
Marriage of Heaven and Hell, The (Blake), 64
Masefield, John, 84
Mass positivity resonance, 70
Mathematics, 174–176, 183
Maupin, Armistead, 152
Meditation, 11–12, 25, 56, 57, 91, 94, 102–110, 186
guided, 109, 123, 127, 190
practices (see Meditation practices)
Meditation practices
celebratory love, 156–158
compassionate love, 149–151
list of, 205
loving all, 163–165
loving-kindness, 107–110
seeing yourself as target of others’ love, 120–122
self-love, 123–127
Merton, Thomas, 63, 86
Method acting, 95
Metta, 11
Micro-moment practices, 186
celebratory love, 158–159
creating compassion in daily life, 151–153
creating three loving connections, 101
Day Reconstruction Method (DRM), 166–170
list of, 205
narrating your day with acceptance and kindness, 132–137
redesigning job around love, 177–178
reflecting on social connections, 98–101
using own suffering as cue to connect, 143–145
Micro-moments, 16, 18, 29–33, 37, 45, 52, 55, 60, 67, 68, 75, 76, 79, 84, 86, 91, 93, 98–99, 101, 162–163, 166, 194
Mind and Life Institute, 186
Mind-training, 56–57
Mirror neurons, 43–44
Mirrored reflection, 17–18, 20
Motherese, 52
Mutual care, 10–11, 17, 25, 29, 45, 75, 169
Mutual responsiveness, 31
Mutual understanding, 45
Narcissism, 114, 131, 138, 155
Natural disasters, 79, 142
Natural selection, 19, 28, 187, 191
Nature, 49
Neff, Kristin, 115–116
Negative emotions, 28, 65–66, 77–80, 82, 128, 154, 173
Neuropeptides, 47
Neuroplasticity, 58
Nhat Hanh, Thich, 181, 182
Nods, 23, 69
Nonverbal cues, 68–69, 72, 105, 152
Obesity, 27, 86
Objectification, 166
“On Friendship” (Cicero), 95
Oneness, 16, 20, 46, 179
Openness, 32, 78, 104–105
Oxytocin, 40–41, 47–53, 54, 58, 60, 61
Pali, 11
Parallel play, 22
Parasympathetic nervous system, 85
Passion, 75
Peace Corps, 171
PEP Lab (Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Laboratory), 56, 84, 85, 188
Perception, 64–67, 181
Plasticity, 58–60
Poetry, 183
Pointing, 69
Porges, Stephen, 40
Positive emotions (see Positivity resonance)
Positive psychology, 129, 130, 155, 176
Positivity
defined, 8–9
prioritizing, 13, 154
Positivity (Fredrickson), 8, 78
Positivity resonance (see also Love; Meditation)
accessing wisdom and, 82–83
biobehavioral synchrony, 17, 18, 22, 23, 25, 30–31, 52, 70–71, 74, 169
brain and, 40–47, 58, 61
broaden-and-build theory, 8, 9, 11, 22, 53, 60
cross-generational, 26
defined, 17
marriage and, 80
mutual care, 10–11, 17, 25, 29, 45, 75, 169
oxytocin and, 40–41, 47–53, 54, 58, 61
perception and, 65–67
relationships and, 72–75
resilience and, 78–81
self-love and (see Self-love)
shared positive emotions, 17, 25, 169
spirituality and, 182–183
tendency toward, 92
vagus nerve and, 40–41, 53–58, 61
visual metaphor for, 17–18
PositivityResonance.com, 92, 98, 109, 127, 167
Postpartum depression, 33–34
Posture, 20, 68, 105
PPA (parahippocampal place area), 65–66
Prairie vole experiments, 48
Preparatory practices, 93–96
Princeton University, 42, 47
Radical acceptance, 132, 135
Rapport, 24, 71, 72
Relationship science, 10–11
Religion, 178–182
Resentment, 154–155, 156
Resilience, 8, 60, 77–81, 106, 142–143, 145
RNA, 190
Rodent research, 53
Romanian orphans, 33
Saddha, 182
Sadness, 16
Safety, sense of, 19–20, 31, 32, 36, 68, 113, 129, 137, 141
“Saint Francis and the Sow” (Kinnell), 119
Salzberg, Sharon, 116–117, 119, 182, 183, 186
Sanskrit, 11
&n
bsp; Self-absorption, 10, 67, 74, 95, 102, 103, 144, 156, 161, 162, 170
Self-acceptance, 116, 133–136
Self-aggrandizement, 114, 115, 129, 131, 155
Self-change, 92, 186
Self-compassion, 116
Self-criticism, 115, 129, 131, 137
Self-deprecation, 116
Self-diminishment, 113–114
Self-esteem, 19, 114–116, 138
Self-focus, 123
Self-help industry, 131
Self-interest/concern, 67, 161, 165–166
Self-love, 113–138
obstacles to, 113–114
Self-pity, 140, 144
Self-praise, 129, 130
Self-protection, 77
Self-reflection, 94, 186
Self-regulation, 34
Self-soothing techniques, 79
Self-talk, 128–132, 137
Serenity, 11
Sexual desire, 5, 7
Sexual intercourse, 48
Shared experiences, 75–76
Shared history, 32, 35, 47
Shared positive emotions, 17, 25, 169
Similarity, love and, 139–141
Simpsons, The (television series), 127–128
Sincerity, 94
Smiles, 23, 50, 51, 68, 69
evolution of, 24–25
sincere and insincere, 94
types of, 21–22
Smoking, 86
Social comparisons, 139–141
Social connection, 92–93, 96–101, 145
Social engagement system, 40
Social Genomics Core Laboratory, University of California at Los Angeles, 190
Social resilience, 79–81
Social support, 156, 192–193
Solo activities, 93–95
Spiritual Evolution (Vaillant), 182
Spirituality, 178–183
Sports, 69–70
Stress hormone, 50, 59
Stroke, 66, 86
Suffering
compassion and, 141–151
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