He was in the far corner, head bent and listening closely to Lily speak. Lily St. Clare, her brother’s wife. Lily, a modern-day Marilyn Monroe, and that was no exaggeration. The woman had curves, looks, intelligence, and wit. Rebecca would have loved to hate her, but she was also the nicest, most genuine woman she knew.
The heat that pulsed in Rebecca’s veins was sharp and fast and fueled by an emotion she wasn’t used to. One she hadn’t felt in a good long while. No, that was wrong. She’d felt it the week before when Shelli Gouthro had been all over Hudson.
Jealousy.
Lily turned just then, pleased to see her. “Rebecca! I see Hannah has managed to find you already.”
Rebecca nodded and attempted a smile. It felt forced and tight, and she hoped like hell it at least looked normal. No way would she give Hudson the satisfaction of knowing his presence was enough to throw her off her game. She jiggled the baby, and Hannah’s laughter eased the tension inside her. Hudson stared across the room, a strange expression on his face, and she looked away, glad to spy Nash a few feet from her.
Nash gave her a hug and a quick kiss to the cheek. “That’s a good look on you,” he whispered.
At first, Rebecca’s mind went blank, but when she realized what Nash was getting at, she shook her head. “Yeah. No. Not gonna happen. I couldn’t imagine being single and pregnant.”
He squeezed her shoulder, a gentle touch. “Hey, I’m just teasing. She looks good in your arms.”
Rebecca glanced down at the baby. Her robin-egg-blue eyes shone, the little bow mouth glistened, and those chubby cheeks were to die for. Hannah reached for her again, her small hand tugging on a piece of Rebecca’s hair, and the gibberish that fell from her lips was adorable.
Something shifted inside her, something sharp and a little bit painful. She turned to her brother. “I think she wants her daddy.” She handed off the baby just as Raine and Jake Edwards walked into the room. Seemed as if Hudson being here wasn’t the only surprise.
“Raine,” Rebecca said, walking over to the woman and offering a congratulatory hug. “I didn’t know…when are you due?”
The small dark-haired woman glowed, and the man at her side looked so damn happy, it brought tears to Rebecca’s eyes.
“We wanted to wait before letting people know. I mean, after the last time.” Raine’s voice wobbled a bit, but her husband, Jake, slid his arm around her waist, and she found strength in that. They’d suffered a stillbirth late into their last pregnancy. It was heartbreaking, having to bury a child Raine had carried nearly to term.
“I’m about five months along, and things are perfect.” Raine trailed her fingers across Jake’s forearm—a simple, intimate gesture. One that tugged at Rebecca’s heart.
She needed to be away from all this happy. It was suffocating.
Drawing in much-needed air, she smiled and congratulated the couple once more, then turned to her brother. “I need wine. Where’s the wine?”
With that, she pushed past him and grabbed a glass off the side table and let Nash fill it. “More,” she said when he would have stopped. Hudson was still on the other side of the room, and he and Lily had resumed their conversation. What the hell was she going on about?
“So,” Nash murmured before he obliged her with a generous amount of vino. “It’s gonna be that kind of night.”
Rebecca took a big gulp and winced as the wine flooded her taste buds and found its way down her throat. The pinot noir was smooth, a Californian, but still, wine wasn’t meant to be gulped.
Hudson laughed.
Lily followed suit.
Rebecca tried like hell to keep her cool.
“What kind of night would that be?” she asked Nash.
“You tell me.” He stood beside her and followed her gaze.
Rebecca took another drink and held her glass up for a refill. “A long one.”
Nash nodded and reached for the bottle. “That’s what I thought.”
Chapter 17
It took Hudson about thirty minutes after dinner was over to get Rebecca alone. She’d hardly spoken to him, and if not for Nash, Lily, and the Edwards, the evening would have been a bust. As it was, the undercurrent that ran through the room wasn’t exactly pleasant, and Hannah Rose obviously picked up on it. The little girl was no longer a bundle of happiness and had been fussing for the last half an hour or so.
Hudson watched Lily take the little one to her bedroom, followed by Raine, and while Mackenzie, Jake, and Nash opted to head to the deck for a cigar, he’d held back. As soon as the boys disappeared outside, he headed to the kitchen and Rebecca.
She was at the sink, rinsing a pot, and for the moment unaware of his presence. Hudson was fine with that. He drank her in like fine wine. The black shirt she wore clung to her curves, the soft, silky material gliding across her breasts as she lifted the pot and turned it over. Her hair was loose, long silky waves that tumbled across her shoulders. In the muted light, it looked so damn soft. God, he loved her hair. He used to spend a lot of time untangling it after a dip in the lake.
Rebecca suddenly glanced up, and their eyes met. She didn’t look away—which was encouraging—and Hudson pushed off from the doorframe. A few steps brought him to her, though he kept the island between them because he had a feeling she’d bolt if he tried to get closer.
“You need help?” he asked.
“I’m good,” she replied, placing the pot on the drying rack. She reached for a towel and dried her hands.
“Lily putting the baby to bed?” she asked, politely.
He nodded.
“The guys were heading out for cigars.” She watched him, expression unreadable.
“I know.”
Her chin jutted up a bit, and her cheeks darkened. “And you’re not joining them because…”
“Because I want to talk to you.”
She tossed the towel and leaned her palms onto the counter. “I’m all ears.” Her words were clipped, and it was obvious she was pissed at him.
“You gonna tell me what’s got you so riled tonight?”
“You do,” she fired back at him. Her directness surprised Hudson, and he stood a little straighter.
“What the hell did I do? We’ve barely spoken.”
She glared at him, and if looks could kill, well, Hudson would be a dead man. She opened her mouth to speak, but then must have thought better, and snapped it shut. She grabbed the wineglasses she’d rinsed and got up on her tiptoes to put them away on the top shelf in the cupboard next to the fridge. It wasn’t intentional, but man, it gave Hudson an unfettered look at an ass he was dying to touch. She closed the door but didn’t turn around.
“Becca.”
“Don’t,” she said, shaking her head.
Hudson ran his hands through his hair. He was frustrated as hell. “Becs. You gotta let me know what’s wrong.”
He rounded the counter and stopped a few inches from her. The air was hot, and he yanked on the edge of his navy-blue Henley.
“Why are you here?” She turned her head to the side, giving him a view of a profile he could have traced in his sleep. After all this time. The intensity was still there.
“I was invited.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I mean, why are you here? Why are you still in Crystal Lake?” She turned around and faced him.
Hudson shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. It was that or put them on Rebecca and pull her close. He inhaled sharply.
“Vanilla.”
“What?” She was confused. He saw that. He got it. Because his mind was working in a way even he didn’t understand.
“You still wear vanilla.”
Her hand went to her neck, there where her pulse beat erratically. It was an unconscious gesture, but it drew his gaze to all that creamy, soft skin.
“God, you’re beautiful.” He couldn’t help himself. Hudson took that last step until he was so close, only a whisper separated them.
“You’re avoiding
the question.” Her eyes fell, those long lashes of hers sweeping the curve of her cheek. “I thought you’d be gone by now. Back to DC.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Her head shot up, and he was nailed by those incredible blue eyes.
“At least, not in the next little while. I’m not sure when I’ll head back. I’d like to get the housing development up and running. I’d like to get Harry looked after. I’d like…” Hudson sighed and shrugged. “I want to spend time with you.”
“You want to sleep with me.”
“No.” He frowned. “It’s not just about sex.”
She gripped the edge of the counter with her fingers. So tightly the knuckles whitened. “Then what is it about? What’s the point of any of this?”
Her lips parted, and damn if that tongue didn’t dart out to touch the corner of her mouth. He knew Rebecca. Knew she wasn’t a cock tease. But the sight of her tongue gliding along the edge of a mouth that drove him crazy set off all sorts of things. Hot, wild, sexual things.
And here they were in her brother’s kitchen. Hudson needed to get a grip on himself. He took a step back—physically took that step—and ran his hands over the back of his neck. He was so damn tense, he felt like at any second, it could snap in two.
“Does there have to be a point? Can’t we just acknowledge that there’s something still here? Something that never died?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“You’re saying there’s not?”
“I’m saying…” She swore and thumped him in the chest. “I’m saying that I have no idea what to think or say or do.” She threw her hands up, eyes now closed. “How did I end up here again? With you?” Her voice ended on a whisper.
He saw she was upset—knew he should probably back off—but his mind couldn’t seem to communicate that to his body. He slid his hand along her jaw, his fingers cupping her while his thumb caressed her. Hudson stared down at Rebecca for what felt like minutes, but in fact was mere seconds. She leaned into his palm, and his heart caught up to the pulse that still beat at her neck.
“When you left, that last time, I thought I would die, Hudson.” Her bottom lip quivered, and everything inside him stilled. “I wanted to die.”
“Becca.”
Her eyes flew open, and she made no effort to keep her pain from him.
“I kept thinking that it was a mistake. That you would turn around and come back to me.” She swallowed and inhaled a shaky breath before slowly disengaging herself from his touch. Rebecca walked around him and stood at the window. She shuddered, and he took a step toward her, but Rebecca held her hand up and shook her head violently. “Don’t.”
Hudson held back, hands clenched at his sides, and in that moment hated himself more than he had on that night twelve years earlier.
Time stood still and the only sound he heard was the muffled cry of Hannah Rose. Rebecca took another step and leaned her cheek against the window. He watched as her breath came alive on the cold glass. And as every wave of warm air spread across the surface, the weight on his chest got heavier.
“The first time you noticed me, I was fifteen. It was summer, the Fourth of July weekend. My father was locked up, so it was easy to sneak out of the house with him gone. There was a big party out at Pot-o-hawk Island, and all the older kids were going. Somehow I convinced Nash to let me tag along. I think he felt sorry for me.” She paused and glanced over her shoulder. “Do you remember?”
Did he remember? Hell, it was burned into his brain.
The water was calm, the air humid with the heat of July, and the party was going full tilt. Up the beach, a bonfire lit up the sky, and Hudson could see the sparks crackle against a sky full of stars. He grabbed up his cooler and stepped out of his boat. He’d taken two steps before a voice cut him short.
“Did you forget something?” The sarcasm was heavy, and he made a face before turning back to his date. “Sorry. Hands are full.” Amber hopped off the boat straight into the water, her boobs nearly falling out of the black bikini top that barely covered them. Not that he cared. He’d have them out in a few hours. It was the only reason he’d brought her. Amber put out, and he was in the mood to get laid.
Except that about five seconds after he got to the bonfire, he spotted her. At first, he wasn’t sure who the girl was, but he sure as hell liked what he saw. Long, tanned legs. Jean shorts that were loose but hung on hips just the way he liked. A simple white T-shirt. And all that hair. It hung in golden ropes halfway down her back.
She stood beside his buddy Nash, and something about the tilt of her head, or maybe the way the starlight lit up her hair like a halo, drew him to her. Who the hell was she?
Hudson set down his cooler, grabbed himself a beer, and tossed one to Amber before making some lame excuse to head over to Nash. It took him a bit—they were on the other side of the fire, and there were a lot of kids to wade through.
By the time he got to them, he felt strangely exhilarated. And when she turned to him, and shyly smiled up at him to say hello… He was gone. So. Fucking. Gone. It was a punch to the gut, those blue eyes.
He ignored Nash completely. Wild horses couldn’t drag him from this girl.
“Hey,” he said, voice a little hoarse. “I’m Hudson.”
Her lips were parted, and a blush stole over her cheeks. “I know,” she replied. The wind picked up and tugged the ends of her hair. Her long, delicate fingers tucked the strands behind her ear.
He wanted those fingers on him. Wanted that hair in his fists.
Hudson took a sip from his beer, calculating the fallout that would occur when he blew off Amber. Even though it was a dick move, he was going to blow off Amber. No way was he leaving this angel’s side.
“I’m Rebecca.”
He smiled at her then, liking the way her cheeks flushed even more.
“Rebecca,” he said slowly, with a wink. “Mind if I call you Becca?” She nodded but remained silent.
Nash snorted and, with a hard pat to Hudson’s shoulder, leaned close and whispered, “She’s not like Amber. Just so you know.” He took off and disappeared into the shadows, leaving the two of them alone. And that night, under a blanket of stars, surrounded by at least one hundred kids, Hudson felt as if he and Becca were the only two people in the entire world.
And in a way, they were, because after that night, and in spite of the fact he was barely seventeen, he knew she was the only girl for him. And she was. Until he broke what they had.
“Hudson?”
Jerked out of the memory, he yanked his head up and cleared his throat. Rebecca was looking at him, a strange expression on her face.
“I’m sorry,” he said slowly, voice so rough and low, he wasn’t sure she heard him.
“For what?” Her eyes were luminous, shiny, and full. Yet he saw the wariness there. The pain that still lingered.
Hudson had to take a moment. He needed to get this right.
“For everything. For being too young to know better. For leaving you like I did. For handling things badly. For throwing away the only good thing I had because I thought it was the only way. I know none of that makes sense to you, because there are things you don’t know. Things…” He exhaled and bowed his head. “Things no one knows. But I need you to understand, Becs.”
Hudson glanced back up. “When you say that you felt like dying. I get it. It killed me to leave.”
“Then why did you?” she asked, her voice quivering.
“It’s a long story.” He waited a heartbeat and then said something he was either going to regret, or something that had the potential to set him free of a past that haunted him. “Come back to my place, and I’ll tell you.”
Silence. Silence so big, it was loud. And crushing. It sucked the air from the room, and he had a hard time breathing. And hot. It was so damn hot.
“Okay,” she said abruptly, sliding past him and heading for the door. Stunned, he watched as she grabbed her coat and slipped her feet into
her boots. “Let’s go.” She was all business, and the fire in her eye was fierce. She swept by him without another word.
It took a full five seconds for Hudson to get his shit together. He didn’t bother with her brother. Or Nash. They’d figure things out. He followed her out into the cold air, and it pinched his nostrils as he struggled to get his breathing under control. She was by his truck, arms wrapped around her body for warmth, small puffs of air falling from her lips as she exhaled.
He unlocked the truck and waited, but instead of climbing inside, she walked to his window, and he was afraid she was going to bail.
“You getting in?” he asked, quietly.
“No.” Rebecca motioned to her car. “I’ll follow you.”
She didn’t give him a chance to respond, so Hudson waited until she was in her car, and when she was ready, they headed out along River Road. He was following her—she knew the way—and eventually, the darkness swallowed them whole.
Chapter 18
Rebecca was crazy. Obviously. She concentrated on the road as it curved, palms sweaty, her headlights cutting a swath of illumination across the quiet country road. On the left, thick trees stood tall and silent, lining the road like silent soldiers, while the lake glistened to her right, the stars reflecting off the top like diamonds. She’d cracked her window a bit, grateful for the crisp air. She needed it to clear her head and maybe find some kind of sanity again.
Because really…heading back to Hudson’s? Had she lost her ever-lovin’ mind?
She glanced in the rear-view mirror. What the hell was she thinking? The sad truth was that any semblance of common sense she possessed had fled the second he’d stepped foot back in Crystal Lake. But she couldn’t seem to help herself. His orbit was too damn strong, and every time she was near him, he sucked her right back in.
To make matters worse, it didn’t matter if she was pissed, because she’d had one hell of an anger on tonight, and in the end, it did nothing to prop her up. Never had she had such dark thoughts about her sister-in-law. She loved Lily. Trusted her implicitly.
You Make Me Weak (The Blackwells of Crystal Lake Book 1) Page 12