Her mother blew out a long, shaky breath. “And I did.”
The grandfather clock chimed just then, and both women jumped in their seats. It was loud and startling, and her mother started to giggle. Which made Rebecca start to giggle. And before too long, both of them were doubled over. When their laughter finally subsided, Lila sat back in her chair, and almost immediately, a fresh batch of tears filled her pale green eyes. She swiped at them.
“I’m a silly woman. Look at me. Blubbering like an idiot.”
“Mom. It’s okay. The holidays are emotional for a lot of reasons.”
“I need to say something.” Lila’s fingers worried the edge of her tissue. “I know your father isn’t a good person. He’s selfish and mean. He’s a lousy husband, and he wasn’t good to you kids.” She glanced up, and the look in her mother’s eyes broke Rebecca’s heart.
“But I need you to know he wasn’t always like that.” She shook her head. “He wasn’t. I don’t know when he changed or why, but he did. I tried to leave him once. You were a baby.”
Shocked, Rebecca was silent.
“I made it a week without him, and then I came back. I just…can’t give him up. I made mistakes. A lot of them. And I’m sorry. I wish I’d been stronger for you kids. But that saying, love is blind, is so true. In spite of Ben’s faults, and there are many, I love him. And I know people think I’m crazy sticking by a man who…” Lila’s chin trembled, and a knot formed in Rebecca’s throat.
“A man who did the awful things that he did. But I won’t abandon him. I can’t.”
“It’s okay, Mom.” Rebecca didn’t understand that kind of love, one that was so lopsided, but after all the things she’d been through, who was she to judge?
“I need you to know something, Becca. I never wanted that for you.”
That damn knot was bigger now, and Rebecca clutched at her mother’s hands.
“I was never as proud of you as I was the day you left David. As a young mother to strike out on your own like that, well, that’s some kind of strength. That takes guts. More guts than I ever had.” She cupped Rebecca’s face and pressed a kiss to her cheek, her breath warm against Rebecca’s suddenly cold skin.
“You are my princess, and I want you to have it all. I want you to have what I never did because you are strong and deserve it.”
Rebecca opened her mouth, but her mother shushed her with a finger.
“I believe that one day, your father will get better, and the man I met so long ago that night at the Christmas dance, well, I believe he’ll come back to me.” A tear slipped down her face. “I have to believe that.”
Rebecca hugged her mother tightly. “I love you,” she said.
“I know, honey.” A pause. “Hudson is deserving of your love. I’ve seen that over these past weeks.” She smiled softly. “That’s one gift I’ll treasure this Christmas.”
Rebecca gave her mother another hug and a kiss. “Mackenzie will pick you up around six thirty.” She glanced back toward the kitchen. “Don’t forget the shortbread.”
Rebecca headed home. She cranked the tunes in her car and sang “Jingle Bell Rock” as loud as she could. What a feeling she had inside. It was big and strong and filled her right up. It was love, anticipation, and joy. There’d been darkness in her past, but the future sure as heck looked bright. And while David had nothing whatsoever to do with his son, other than making sure his support payments were deposited each month, she hoped one day, things would change.
She thought of her mother. That was the thing about life. There was always hope.
She was still humming Christmas songs when she got home and checked her watch. Liam was with Hudson out at the lodge, doing whatever it was that men did when getting ready for an open house. Rebecca planned on making the most of her time alone. She filled the tub with hot water and slid inside. She had two hours all to herself before swinging by Violet’s to pick up her special present for the man she loved. She smiled at the thought and closed her eyes.
Christmas Eve Night
Hudson
A year ago on Christmas Eve, Hudson had been nursing a whiskey in some dive bar in DC, trying like hell to forget about the holidays. It said something, this turn of events, that found him in a place he loved, surrounded by people he loved even more.
And sure, some of those relationships needed work. Like anything, relationships weren’t simple things. They were messy and complicated. Sometimes painful and hard. He’d made amends with his father, as best he could, and hoped one day his brothers would find a way as well. At least before the old man passed. Neither one of them had been able to make it back for Christmas, and though John accepted their lame excuses, Hudson knew it hurt.
He also knew his father expected it. He’d said about as much when he and Darlene had left an hour earlier. “Thanksgiving wasn’t exactly a success, son.”
That was an understatement. It had been awkward and uncomfortable. Travis had left town within twenty-four hours of arriving. Hell, Wyatt had only managed to stay a few days longer. He’d stuck around to accept an award given out by a local car enthusiast organization. Given the fact he’d somehow managed to get into a fender bender leaving the ceremony, Hudson was guessing Wyatt wished he’d left when Travis did.
Nash slapped him on the shoulder. “This place looks great. You and Becca did an amazing job.”
The two men had just finished gathering up glasses and trays. Rebecca had taken Liam up to bed, and once Nash was gone, that was exactly where Hudson was headed. The thought brought a smile to his face as he tossed a dish towel onto the counter.
“Seriously, Hudsy. You keep that goofy look on your face, and Rebecca is going to know.”
“Know what?”
“That she’s got you fully and completely by the balls.”
He followed his friend from the kitchen. “She’s the only one who’s got permission to go near them. Totally fine with it.”
“Yeah,” Nash murmured as he slipped into his leather jacket. “I see that.” He glanced outside. “Taxi’s here.”
The two men stared at each other for a few moments and then slapped shoulders and hugged the way men do.
“Look at us,” Nash said, hand on the door. “All respectable and shit. Never thought we’d both be back here, me with a bar and you with this place. When you opening?”
“We’ll start slow. Advertise for some bookings in the summer and go from there.”
Nash nodded. “Merry Christmas, Hudsy.”
Hudson closed the door and locked it. He turned off the lights and made sure everything was off in the kitchen before heading up to the second floor. The main lodge featured four bedrooms, with the large master at the back, overlooking the lake. The door was open slightly, and soft light spilled onto the hallway.
He walked inside and found Rebecca sitting in front of the fireplace. She’d wrapped herself in a large blanket, and he paused, drinking in her profile as the light cast shadows over her face.
It hit him then—hard in the chest. Could a guy get everything he wanted? Was it possible to have this much love and keep it?
“Everyone gone?” she asked, turning slightly and gazing up at him.
Hudson nodded. He didn’t answer, because there was no way in hell he could speak. His throat was closed up as tight as a damn drum. Being here with Rebecca had him humbled. The woman didn’t know it, but she could bring him to his knees if she wanted. That kind of power was scary.
But then, being totally and unequivocally in love with someone was scary and thrilling and wonderful and a whole bunch of things he didn’t have words for.
“Everyone’s gone,” he replied. He sat beside her and gazed into the fire. “It was a great party.”
She nodded slowly and turned to him. “It was.”
Her eyes were luminous, their depths like glass. Hudson couldn’t help himself. He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. Already his body was hot and tight, filled with the need for a woman he
would never let go of. She opened beneath him immediately, letting him inside, and he kissed her with all the passion and want and need he possessed. When he finally dragged his mouth away, he was breathless.
He rested his forehead on hers. “Hold on, babe. I need to do something before we get carried away.”
With his heart nearly beating out of his chest, Hudson got to his knees and reached into the front pocket of his jeans. There, nestled for the entire evening, was a small box. He fingered it for a few seconds and then withdrew it. It was black velvet and delicate.
Her eyes widened, and her kiss-swollen lips parted.
“I had this big speech prepared for you. A bunch of words that were supposed to ease my way into this. But, Becs, there are only three that make sense. Only three that I need you to know. I love you. I’ve been in love with you since that Fourth of July party, and I, well…”
Hudson held out his hand and offered her the small box. Her fingers trembled slightly when she plucked it from his palm.
“I want us to be a family. I want to marry you. I want to grow old with you. Fight with you. Make love with you. Hold you. There’s never been anyone else.”
She slowly opened the box. Nestled inside the black silk pillow was a ring. White gold with a single square-cut diamond. It was elegant and classy, and his chest welled up tight when she picked it up. Gently, Hudson took the ring from her and slid it onto her finger.
“I’m hoping that’s a yes,” he said, voice husky.
For several long moments, she said nothing and kept her head bowed. When she finally looked up at Hudson, everything inside him stilled. He wondered if she could hear how heavy his heart was beating, or how hard it was for him to draw air into his lungs.
“Yes.” She smiled through tears, and his heart melted. “It’s always been yes.”
He reached for her and drew her into his arms. For the longest time, they held each other, and then she wiggled out of his arms and got to her feet.
“I have something for you.”
Hudson watched her cross the room and pick up something from the night table beside the bed. She still clutched the blanket around her, but it had fallen, showing off a lot of skin. He liked that.
She came back and knelt in front of him, the fire once more casting shadows that only served to enhance features he could trace in his sleep. Those big eyes of hers settled on him, and there was something there…something that got his attention.
Rebecca blew out a breath and smiled. “I had Violet pick this up for me in the city. I’d ordered it special, but there was a mix-up, and I couldn’t make it in, and then she said she could do it and…” Rebecca stopped, obviously nervous, and Hudson looked down.
In her palm was an ornament. It was silver and round and engraved.
Daddy-to-be. 2017
Hudson’s eyes flew to her face. “Becca?”
She nodded and shrugged, fighting tears. “I know we never talked about it or anything, and that this is probably the biggest surprise of your life. But that first time we were together, the night of the fair dance, we didn’t…we never used any protection and well….”
He couldn’t speak. Literally couldn’t speak.
A small frown appeared on her face, and her voice shook with uncertainty. “Hudson? Are you okay with this?”
He nodded, and then, as if a rubber band pulled tight had broken, he slumped forward and grabbed her into his arms.
“Becca, I can’t wait for what’s coming. I can’t wait.” He held her and breathed her in, loving the way her body curled into his. And when she let the blanket drop and pulled him down to the fluffy rug in front of the fireplace, Hudson Blackwell knew he was a goner. His hands and his eyes hungrily swept over her body, and within seconds, he was as naked as she.
“Merry Christmas,” Rebecca whispered into his ear as she straddled him.
Hudson gazed up into the eyes of the woman he loved more than life itself and sank his hands into the hair on either side of her face.
“Thank you,” he said simply.
“For what?” Her breath hitched as his hands slid down her body to cradle her still-flat stomach.
His hands splayed across her abdomen. “For this.” He kissed her shoulder and made his way back to her mouth. “For letting me back into your life.”
“It was a no-brainer, Hudson.” She cupped his chin. “Without you, I had no life.”
Hudson reached for Rebecca. He kissed her. He loved her. He worshipped her. And much later, when they were spent and limp as noodles, he carried her to the bed and buried both of them beneath blankets and comforters. He kissed the top of her head and drew her close. And as her breathing evened out and he knew she was asleep, Hudson thought that maybe, just maybe, it was the best sound in the world.
Because it was Rebecca. And she was his. They would be a family.
They had found their way back to each other, and Hudson Blackwell would never let her go again.
Acknowledgments
I have to say a huge thank you to the readers who’ve been wholly supportive and so sweet to me these past few months. Without you I wouldn’t have a job I love and treasure! You guys really do rock in so many ways! I wish only the best for each and every one of you! Remember to be kind, be helpful, and give someone a hug!
xoxo
Juliana
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You Make Me Weak (The Blackwells of Crystal Lake Book 1) Page 23